#body image etc

[ohitsjustkatherine]

Whenever i mention not being skinny around other women they always do that 'noooo stooop you look good' thing and like?? Yes i do and I'm not skinny? I never have been and i never will be and they can both exist at the same time? I think it's just like we're trained to hear those kinds of comments as self-deprecating rather than a statement of fact that doesn't hold any negative connotations. I'm chubby and I'm aware of it and i don't care. I like it. It's fine. Love yourself.

[ohitsjustkatherine]

last week i hung out with some girls i went to school with, and some of them i don’t know very well. and it was really really weird to hear a lot of the comments that they made about people in general, but specifically other women. i just forget that other people haven’t been exposed to things that i have and i know it took me a long time to recognize and attempt to reverse a lifetime of internalized misogyny so i should be more understanding but i just got really grossed out. the stereotype of a judgmental, superficial woman is so restrictive and damaging because it encourages women to hate each other and make snide comments without thinking about why they’re making them. i don’t know. i’ve been thinking about it a lot since i saw them. it was just a really strange feeling to realize like i’m sitting in this group of my peers and i love myself more than any of them do and it kind of makes me sad for them. i’ve worked really hard to get to this place of self-acceptance and i still trip up all the fucking time but at least i don’t make fucking backwards comments about what other girl’s boobs look like?? like jesus how fucking irrelevant. but then i also think i should have said something to direct conversation in a more critical way of thinking but i didn’t want to be a buzzkill. i don’t know. i also feel a little torn/hypocritical because i value a lot of superficial things, ESPECIALLY in terms of how i view myself, but i try not to apply it to other people? like i try not to judge people for things that i know are trivial in the grand scheme of things even though i appreciate them in my own life. i feel like that doesn’t make sense. whatever. the point is, it was jarring that these girls who (stereotypically as art students) should be more liberal-minded and accepting were just so far off from that, and it made me really uncomfortable to be honest. and i regret not saying anything for fear of being deemed hypersensitive or a killjoy or something. 

[ohitsjustkatherine]

The thing is when I'm all covered up i feel like yeah you look great but then when I'm naked it's like who is that how do i look this way?? I just have such a weird body type and i simultaneously think I'm fatter and thinner than i actually am. Uuuuuuugggggghhhhh

[ohitsjustkatherine]

sometimes i see photos of girls on here and i think like.. what is it like to have a beautiful body like that and be proud to show it off?? and i’ve gotten so much better in regards to my self esteem and stuff but there are still so many things i can’t seem to shake

[beekeepercain]

I feel so horrible about myself today. It’s been a while since I felt this shitty but I’m so... malshaped. I’m really fat, there’s not a smooth part in my body, my head is huge and looks really shitty from the side like it’s oddly elongated at the back, my hair looks godawful and I really need to get a haircut, and I only have rags for clothes. Most of the shit I own is over four years old and worn to hell and 90% of it doesn’t fit me anymore, either it’s too big or too small, and no matter what I put on there’s no way to make this piece of shit look like it even resembles a normal human body.

I’m positively one of the ugliest people I’ve seen in my life and that doesn’t make me feel particularly good about myself at all, especially considering there are very few people I consider “ugly”, and it’s always a result of completely lacking the ability to care for yourself. Newsflash, I’m definitely one of those people. I shouldn’t go out at all, I’m a fucking disgusting sight.

[ohitsjustkatherine]

[baraelsblades]

so there's that 

[yawpyawp]

Today is one of those "I'm pretty happy with my body" days. :) 

Except for my sun burn. That I can do without.