Pairing: Bonnie/ Jake. Bonnie/ Kai.
Rating: T
Word Count: 2000 ish
Information: Bonnie leaves Mystic Falls, she has to leave, but she inevitably gets caught up in the situation unfolding in Atlanta, especially one involving a very familiar face.
She left without a word, the gnawing feeling of dread deep in her bones, the reminder that Elena was in a coma until her death, that they would never have another moment together, another time to truly let themselves feel free together, without the burden of the supernatural weighing down their hearts, too much.
She needed to go.
And so she did.
Bonnie passed the town's border, one last look over her shoulder in farewell of the place that had come to mean so much to her, of the place that held too many deaths and so much loss. The guilt was there; she could barely imagine how Damon would be coping, or any of her friends but she needed this. She needed to leave the place that was slowly suffocating the life from her.
She expected Atlanta to be an improvement, the hustle and bustle of city life so far removed from the small town of Mystic Falls she thought she would be swept up, so distracted by it she wouldn't need to face another life-or-death crisis.
She did not expect to be trapped within the compounds of the city walls, a mysterious virus holding the city and herself captive.
She did not expect the panic and fear permeating the city, its stench thick but familiar.
Most of all however, she didn't expect him.
Kai.
No, Jake.
It was eerie seeing the policeman, so different from the psychopath that had been on her mind, and yet, there was something in his eyes, something in the way he looked at her when he thought she wouldn't notice that made her feel as though they weren't as different as she started to believe. He would watch her, curiosity piqued when she would jump at his presence, eyes wild as she saw Kai approaching, Kai touching her arm, Kai smiling at her. But she didn't want to push away the one good thing in her life because she was tainted by the past. So she accepted his friendship, she accepted him and she never looked back, enjoying every moment they spent acquainting themselves with the other, the tension thrumming between them enough to send fire through her veins. This man though, he was charming, nice, he protected people instead of killing them, he seemed so perfect and yet there was something about him, something underneath the layers of laughter and smiles that spoke of unbridled anger, barely restrained and dangerously deadly.
And it called to her.
She hated it, the feeling of repulsion and lust flowing through her veins as she saw the anger simmering under his façade, oh yes, he wanted to help, he wanted to protect people, but the darkness, the danger - she may be out of Mystic Falls, but the town would never leave her.
And the nicknames, his need to give her nicknames, a grin on his face as he tested them out, too amused by her responses. She had chills when he first called her Bon Bon, clamping down the feelings whirling within her as he tilted his head in confusion, a fake smile plastered on her face as she laughed off her reaction, praying that he wouldn't push the issue further. And he didn't.
It was a form of intimacy she never fully appreciated until she wasn't allowed to touch him, to touch anyone. And goodness how she wanted to touch him, to rake her fingers through his hair, to scratch her nails down his back, marking him as hers. Only hers. She wanted to unleash the monster she knew was within him, the primal force trapped inside, needing someone - needing her - to break it free, to seduce it into do her bidding.
It shocked her at times, the thoughts that would go through her mind, unsure where they had stemmed from, why they resided there, but they had slowly become the norm, ever since she dreamt of her magic being syphoned by spooning these twisted, wrong, delicious thoughts would creep there way into her mind, taking root and driving her mad.
Bonnie wasn't sure when her and Jake fell into whatever they had, all she knew was that he was hers, hers to talk to, hers to bare her soul to, hers to love. But not to hold, not to touch, or feel. None of that. The city wasn't sure how long the virus could remain inactivate in the human body and they weren't ready to take any risks.
So the no-touch laws continued.
And not touching him had been torturous, the rough tone as he told her in explicit detail everything he wanted to do to her only ever left her slightly satiated, his voice thick with lust, pushing her over the edge again and again, a small tremor going through her when she would catch his eyes, seeing his emotions swirling in them as he watched her fall.
But it wasn't just carnal pleasure he gave her, the man provided an ear to listen, corny lines to lift her spirits, an instinctive knowledge of what was going on and if something was wrong. He gave her a reason to smile in this hell hole they were trapped in, he gave her a reason to laugh every time she would play one of Damon's messages on her mobile, pleading, begging, her to return, he gave her a reason to love again when the world was so insistent on taking that away from her.
She fell without realising, Jake's smile stirring something within her, his words tugging at her heartstrings and tangling himself within them.
And late at night, when a smile adorned her face as she thought of the day's events she would allow her mind to wander into dangerous territory; she would wonder if this is how Kai would have turned out if his family hadn't ruined him the way they had. If they could have ever become friends, joking around, laughing, if they could have ever become something more.
She wondered about Kai a lot.
It was almost annoying, the man on her mind more in death than life, flashbacks of his conversations, of their time together more frequent. And she couldn't bring herself to regret any of it, the moments replaying on her mind, analysing every word and interaction, every facial expression and tonal shifts until she thought she was going mad.
She had asked Jake about it once, sure that she had been going crazy in this containment that she was imagining that such a psychopath could ever have changed, if he could have ever cared for her.
He had laughed about it, joking that she was secretly in love with someone on the outside and was just stringing him along, but under her gaze he had sombred up, a more reserved air surrounding him as he contemplated a response. She almost told him to forget it when he started speaking, telling her about his family who had abused him, who had made him feel as though he was an abomination, a life not worth living. He told about the anger, the all-consuming passion to have them understand how they ruined him, betraying him when all he ever needed was their approval. He told her about how he had no one, no one who loved him, who cared for him - no friends, no family. He told her of how he needed to escape.
He also spoke of how he wanted to help people, that being here, helping the defenceless made him feel better, because this worthless life was responsible for so many others, he could protect the weak, the needy. That that was the greatest revenge.
He paused, eyes dropping as he seemed to gather his thoughts, allowing her to come to grips with the information, her heart breaking for him, her body yearning to hold him, to pull him close and comfort him. She yearned to love him.
(She already did).
When he finally opened his mouth to speak, his words caught her off guard. He spoke of sympathy for her fallen enemy, quietly confessing that if he had someone on his side then maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't have ended up how he did. And Jake's eyes rose, taking Bonnie's breath away as she saw his pain, her body moving without permission, the need to take it away, to have her smiling cop laughing and filled with joy once more. He followed her, his body coming closer as his eyes focussed on her, only her, both of them realising last minute what they were doing, pulling away awkwardly as her heart called for him, for his touch, his mouth, for the fire burning within them, threatening to consume them both if left alone to burn.
She loved him, but the next morning she kinda hated him for his words.
Because at night she dreamed it was Kai telling her these things, telling her that it was for her that he had done all of this, that he had turned his life around for her. That her trust in him was what gave him the strength he needed, because no one had ever done that before and it was odd, and it was beautiful and he loved her. She hated that dream the most because she believed him. She believed that the psychopath had changed, that his emotions were real and that all he really wanted was her forgiveness and friendship.
She hated it because she would always be left wondering if they were.
It was months, long gruelling months and Kai wouldn't leave her. She felt guilty when she would look at Jake, his eyes bouncing with mirth, cheesy lines leaving his mouth as he talked about their future together, of something she wanted so badly, of kids and a home and happiness. She knew he was in love with her, she was the same - but still, the thoughts of him persisted, stubbornly refusing to leave her in peace, with Jake and hope.
When they were finally cleared for the virus, when they were allowed to touch each other, feel the heat from the other's body on their own, they wasted no time before clothes were stripped off, flung into the darkest corners of the room, completely forgotten as their world was now focussed on the person before them, around them, in them. Their first kiss was bruising, Bonnie pressed against his apartment door as they fought for dominance, all the pent up tension finally released and it was glorious.
And they were finally there, he was sweaty and willing and underneath her, his eyes shut as he uttered her name like a chant, so close to teetering over the edge, only doing so when she had called out his actual name, the way her voice wrapped around the syllable, cracking as her own release shattered her, Bonnie's strength leaving as she fell down from her high.
He opened his eyes slowly, a smile tugging on his lips as he pulled her down on his chest, wrapping her in his embrace, a soft kiss on her forehead as she let herself relax in his arms, finally in his arms. And as visions of rest danced before her, the feeling of peace settling within her it all sunk in with a startling clarity. He knew the moment she realised what she had said, the slight jerk of her body when in his arms enough to put him on edge. He could feel her gaze burning into him, trying to see the truth between the lies, and knowing she wouldn't be able to see a difference. He was tense as he awaited her reaction, the fear she would attack him, not with fists or magic but words, real and daunting, his chest tight as he held his breath, the next few moments defining everything. But Bonnie pushed herself closer to him, snuggling into him, deciding to deal with all the ramifications tomorrow, smiling to herself as she felt his chest deflate in relief.
Because she had realised the name she had spoken, the name she had screamed out until her voice was hoarse.
