#book outro

[annikasafternoonread]

So. Gideon the Ninth. That was a wild, wild ride -- wild doesn’t even begin to cover it. This is going to be a long reflection, so buckle up and stay hydrated. 

My biggest reaction is one that I’ve mentioned several times through reading this, which is just -- this book does not behave the way I expect. That’s not a value statement one way or the other, just a fascination. Oh, there are dozens of genres and ages and thousands of authorial styles, but there’s still a pattern to it all. A familiar rhythm to the way a story is told (in this time and place and language, at least -- certainly other cultures have different rhythms) -- a certain way of setting up ideas, a certain narrative voice, a certain rise and fall of the action and drama and mystery. 

This book does not know that rhythm and it does not care. Everyone else is ballroom dancing and this book is breakdancing. To classical music. But somehow it works. And it’s so different as to be breathtaking. It takes a little getting used to, I wasn’t sure at first if I liked it, and I’m sure some people would find it too jarring -- but as I got used to it, it just felt fun. To have every one of my preconceived notions about what a story is and what a character should be and how a thing with a certain connotation is interpreted -- every single one of those expectations was cheerfully fed through a shredder and then sprinkled out a window like confetti. I never quite knew what was going to happen. And as I adjusted to that unpredictability, my expectations shifted a bit as well; my guesses became what felt completely wild and ridiculous, and some of them were, but some of them weren’t. But I never had the slightest idea which was which! Oh, some things at the end were more predictable, some of the final payoffs could be guessed as we got close, but that’s not a bad thing either -- that just means it was set up well and the conclusions satisfied. I couldn’t see anything coming at the beginning, but at the end, it all felt like it made sense (albeit in a somewhat nonsensical way). 

I enjoyed how this book challenged my preconceived notions of death magic and necromancy as dark and illicit. And I enjoyed how as I got more used to that, it twisted again, in that some kinds of necromancy are still Not Acceptable. I enjoyed how it challenged my understanding of past and future, modern and ancient. They know what guns are but choose to fight with swords. They have space travel, but there’s no mention of computers or internet. It’s not entirely clear whether this universe is our universe in the far future or another galaxy or universe altogether.

Sometimes that uncertainty and unexpectedness is fun, but it also can be frustrating. There are a lot of gaps and questions left unanswered. I’m sure many of them will be answered in the next book(s), now that we’re not trapped on one planet, but... I guess I’ve seen too many books that didn’t make it to sequels to feel entirely comfortable with a first book leaving that much open. It’s not clear what the Cohort is fighting and expanding into. It’s not clear what the Emperor and the Lyctors are fighting. It’s not clear what the Emperor is and what his relationship with his followers is. It’s not clear what’s hiding in the Locked Tomb, and why, and why the Ninth has been allowed to continue if it wasn’t supposed to, and why the other Houses seem to treat them with so much reverence. It’s not clear if all the Houses are in the same star system, if they’re planets or moons or something else or a mix, if they’re trying to colonize or explore or defend or what. On a smaller level, it’s not clear who killed Protesilaus the second time. It’s not clear what’s up with Gideon surviving everything, and why they didn’t kill her when she didn’t die. It’s not clear why Harrow wanted Gideon to be her cavalier. It’s not clear why the Ninth leaders killed themselves, and it’s not clear why Harrow brought them back. It’s not clear why the Ninth House stopped having kids after the murder spree. It’s obviously good for the first book to have some world left to explore, some questions left to answer, but when that list gets too long and unwieldy... it just makes me uneasy. 

It is definitely fun to have a book that focuses on queer characters without it being about queerness or making a big deal out of Hey Look This Person Is Queer Hell Yes Representation. Both of those have their place and are valuable, and I don’t want to diminish that -- queerness is an important story to tell, and representation is great. And it’s not that Gideon isn’t Flamingly Loudly Queer, she totally is, but it feels... different. It doesn’t feel like a statement or anything, it’s just... Gideon. She’s buff, she’s rebellious, she’s into women, she likes swords, the list goes on. None of these is any more or less remarkable than any other. 

I also enjoy that this book is absolutely unapologetically queer to the point where it doesn’t even bear remarking on in universe. Like, it’s not just that queerness is accepted -- it’s that being queer isn’t, well, queer. There’s nothing to remark on, it’s just a person being attracted to a person. There’s no wondering oh is she even into women though it’s just she pretty I like and that’s that. The question isn’t “is she attracted to my gender” it’s just “is she attracted to ME.” It feels like being into women is like... being into redheads, or guitarists, or history geeks, or whatever. It’s refreshing.

I feel like I should have more to say than this, but also this is already like a thousand words long. I’ve written some that were longer, but this is definitely up there. And I think I’ve hit the main points. So I will leave you there with one more thank you so much for tagging along and for all your love on this journey -- it’s been awesome to watch things grow this past month or two. We passed 100 followers, we passed a year of this blog, I got so many asks and comments and posts that folks seemed to really connect with or enjoy or just side-eye the shit out of. It’s been a blast. 

I can’t wait to continue with Harrow the Ninth.

[annikasafternoonread]

Hello all! It’s been a few days (okay it’s been a whole ass week) -- I’m sorry for the wait, but I had a surprisingly hard time starting this wrap up. Part of that was just being busy with life, but I also just… felt like I didn’t know what to say. Or maybe I didn’t know how to say it. These books are deeply complex, which is part of what makes them so captivating, but it also can make it hard to describe or respond to or explain. So much is left unanswered or unexplored or unknown. How can I sum up something so multi-faceted, that I know I’m only scratching the surface of understanding?

So, Harrow the Ninth. I want to preface this post by saying I did enjoy this book a lot, and I’m glad I read it. Tamsyn Muir is a very talented writer, I love the characters and the world, and the story is really cool. But although I liked the reading experience as a whole… I seem to have a lot of things I wasn’t totally happy with in the book itself. 

Tamsyn Muir’s books are fascinating, but they are also challenging. I’m sure that description doesn’t come as a surprise to anyone who has read them. It is both a strength and a weakness, part of what makes these books so intriguing and surprising, but also something that I know can turn off potential readers. I remember shortly before I started reading Harrow the Ninth, someone told me that the book itself is really hard to read, especially at the beginning. I remember that during the book, someone else told me that they had read Gideon the Ninth and started Harrow the Ninth, but wound up not finishing because the second person was too confusing. 

Neither of those was my experience. I didn’t mind the second person, or the confusing nature of the first sections. It was what I expected from this book at this point, and while it was unusual, it worked. The world they exist in is incredibly complex, the writing style is quite unique, but none of that really fazed me. For me, the ending was what felt... a lot of things. Confusing, incomplete, unresolved… and for me at least, a little unsatisfying. Again, I get that it’s kind of the point, but I just… 😒 is the best way I can describe the emotion. Like, okay I guess, but also no. 

The good news is, this book as a whole answered a lot of my questions from the previous book. Not all of them, but a good few. We know a lot more about this universe, about the history leading to this point, about who and what they’re fighting against, about what Lyctors are and how they work and what they do. And we know why Gideon didn’t die from the gas 🤯 

This book also hit a lot of the themes I was hoping for, many of which are concepts I’m quite interested in. In my opening post, I guessed that we’d be seeing a lot of focus on the ideas of: identity, duty, loyalty, morality, and truth. Granted those are kind of generic and open-ended, but I think they were all pretty on the nose. Harrow’s identity shifts with her memory, with her sense of who she is and what she is supposed to do and be. We explore duty and loyalty through her relationship with Lyctorhood and especially with the other Lyctors’ actions. Morality is a constant undercurrent, never really brought to the surface by most of the characters (well, I guess with regards to becoming a Lyctor it’s explicitly explored, but with regards to killing planets and the BoE and such it isn’t really touched much) but always there and very intentionally so. The narration doesn’t engage with it because the characters don’t question it, but it’s clear that we the reader are supposed to. And truth -- well, there sure are a lot of lies on that ship. I was even spot on that truth circles back to identity, though granted not in the way I initially expected. 

But while this book answered a lot of the questions from last book, it of course introduced many more of its own, and many of those weren’t resolved either. Some of those I expect to be answered later, like: How did Mercy and Augustine connect with the Blood of Eden? Why did they want to break open the Locked Tomb? What’s up with Original Gideon (OG) and did he (or someone else) fuck with his brain? Some of these it makes sense to leave unresolved to heighten the drama, like: What exactly is God and why and how? What exactly is the Blood of Eden and what do they want and how much should I trust or distrust them? What exactly is up with the Body? Some of these are small but still bother the heck out of me, like: What was up with Ianthe’s arm after all? How did the Commander get into that sword? Did Harrow hallucinate before she became a Lyctor, or was that a false memory too, part of the dreamscape? 

But some of them are big. Some of them matter. Some of them feel like I’m supposed to think they’re answered, but I just… don’t. Like, why did Mercy and Augustine break with God? I get the surface level reason that they’re talking about, but it doesn’t make sense to me, there has to be more to God or Lyctorship or the Resurrection or something. Or at least, I have to believe that, because honestly if there isn’t, I think that would be more unsatisfying to me. I’m also deeply curious about how all the different souls and ghosts inside of Harrow interacted -- did they fight each other, layer with each other, influence each other, braid each other’s hair? For instance, who told Harrow to keep the two-handed sword close -- was it Gideon or the Commander or Harrow or some other reason? 

And then there was the scene with Camilla and Judith and Coronabeth. Like, I get that this scene served quite a few purposes -- introducing the idea of a River Bubble, letting us (sort of) meet the Commander, getting to see some of Harrow’s letters, setting up the next book (as per the epilogue), and let’s not ignore the value of getting to say hi to some favourite characters, but at the same time it just… it feels so out of place. Like a weird crossover, except these characters actually do go here? But they’re not supposed to? They show up once, their presence is not explained, and then they disappear into the plot of the next book. A cameo within their own world.

There were of course plenty of things I liked. This world is fascinating and we got to know a lot more about it, about history and necromancy, about how this society views death and destiny, about their conflicts and challenges and triumphs and fears. We got to see a lot of new party tricks. Like in the previous book, we got plenty of unapologetic queerness and enjoyment of titty fiction. The writing style is engaging and makes me laugh at the most unexpected moments. I love a lot of the characters and seeing how they think and interact. I want to know more about this world and these people and this story. 

But if I’m being completely honest, I’m not sure I’ll read the next book. Not because it’s challenging to read, but just… I don’t know if it’ll give me the payoff I want. Especially given the amount of effort and brainpower these books do take. I want to know I’ll get something back for my investment. Not eventually, when the series ends, but in the book I’m actually reading. Maybe the incomplete ending is supposed to cliffhanger me into desperately wanting the next book. But I don’t want to jump. I just want to land. And with this book, I guess I just don’t feel like we stuck the landing here. I don’t feel like we landed. I feel like we’re still in freefall. I’m definitely not ruling out reading it, I’m sure I’ll be drawn to it and like I said I do want more from this universe. But I just don’t know. 

I feel like this is one of my more critical wrap up posts, and I feel a little bad for that because I know so many of you guys love these books. And I’m glad for you! They’re great books! Well worth loving! If someone asked me if I recommended them, I’d absolutely say yes. I enjoyed them a lot, and my lukewarm response to the conclusion doesn’t take away from all that I did love. It just means I’m wary of that happening again with the next book. 

But that’s a problem for next year! In the meantime, I’m going to have to read something else :) The contenders for our next read are An Absolutely Remarkable Thing by Hank Green, Most Likely by Sarah Watson, or Wild Magic by Tamora Pierce -- any of them are still in the game, so let your voice be heard! I hope to start reading on Saturday, so see you then!

And as always, thank you for joining me on this journey. It means the world to have you along, and you guys make it so much fun. I love doing this, and I love sharing it with you. Thank you. I hope to see you on the next journey :)

[annikasafternoonread]

So. That’s The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes. Thoughts. I have them. This is going to be a long one, folks, so buckle in.

I guess my overall report would be... better than expected. That might sound like faint praise, but I had serious reservations coming into this book. I think a lot of people were concerned when it was first announced. And I certainly think those reactions were warranted and valid and I don’t regret them -- this book could have been a mess. 

It wasn’t. It didn’t try to rehabilitate Snow, didn’t try to make him relatable or sympathetic or misunderstood or a victim. It didn’t do any of that. Snow was a privileged, bigoted, ignorant, self-centered asshole with a superiority complex the size of a planet. Collins got that much right at least. We can see some of the forces that conspired to make him that way, but they don’t make him any less of a terrible person who did terrible things for terrible reasons.

But. That kind of character... is not the most fun to read, honestly. I don’t love spending this much time reading a book that just makes me angry. I don’t love spending this much time with a person I hate. I think I’m glad I read it, to know more what it was and to gain some interesting context about the world, but I don’t think I’d read it again. And I don’t know that I’d recommend it. If I did, it would come with some heavy caveats on there. 

So that’s my overall impression: better than expected, worth reading once and no more. On to some more specific hot takes.

So first off, Lucy Gray. I love her in a lot of ways, but she also confused me and I was a little disappointed by other aspects. She’s fun and talented and sweet, but girl what the fuck do you see in Snow he’s a shithead I mean less of a shithead to you, at least compared to the rest of the Capitol, and he did sort of save her life so like Florence Nightingale Syndrome or whatever, but ugh. Gross. I really really really wanted her to be playing him. And I’m not entirely sure she’s not.

As she says when talking about Billy Taupe being a possessive jealous asshole, flirting with people is part of the job description when you’re a performer and entertainer. It’s what she does. It’s what she’s always done. It’s what’s kept her alive for years, being charming and sweet and desirable and making people love her. And now in the Games, she’s relying on Snow to keep her alive. So the more he wants to keep her alive, the better. And if he’s in love with her, and thinks that she’s in love with him, then he’ll be very invested in keeping her alive. As Snow notes at the end, she killed quite a few people, in ways that could have been self-preservation or happenstance or mercy, but could also have been calculated as fuck. It’s hard to say.

I can’t tell you how much I hoped that she’d be cool towards him after the Games, that it would have been all for show and Snow would run back to the barracks with his tail between his legs. She didn’t, which is a big part of why I don’t think she was playing him. Her joy, her kisses, her invitations to spend time together, her song, it doesn’t seem like a lie. But on the other hand, maybe thumbing her nose at a Peacekeeper and Capitol high muckity-muck wouldn’t have been a smart move. Maybe having a Peacekeeper on your side, and someone with Capitol connections, would have been very handy. After all, he kept bringing them ice and baked goods and such. If they could keep him close, he might stand up for them if the Peacekeepers wanted to ban them (which they eventually did a few months later, so the Covey probably knew it was a possibility). He might or warn them if something bad was coming. 

The thing that swung me back to “maybe” is how fast she went from “let’s run away to the woods together and be free” to “I’m gonna sic a snake on this motherfucker.” Like, yes he deserved that, but he always deserved it. That’s a hell of a swing for a few hours. Was it just realizing he might have sold out Sejanus that swung her opinion? Was there something else instead or as well? Did that push her to make new connections, or finally tip over the pile of reservations she’d been ignoring? Maybe. But it just seems... like it might have been more than that. Like maybe she was planning to ditch him anyways, though I can’t imagine why. Idk, the theory doesn’t hold together terribly well, but neither does Lucy Gray’s infatuation with another shitty possessive abusive man. Or maybe that’s just patterns. 

The question of what happened to Lucy Gray honestly doesn’t interest me that much. I’m sure there’s plenty of speculation and opinions and headcanons about whether she returned to District 12 or escaped to the wilds or died there in the woods, but frankly I don’t care. Oh, I hope she lived, but it’s not relevant. There isn’t an answer, so I’m not terribly interested in figuring it out. 

What I do find interesting is Dean Highbottom. He’s a very ironic character, in my opinion. He tells us at the end that he thought up the Hunger Games in a class assignment “to create a punishment for one’s enemies so extreme that they would never be allowed to forget how they had wronged you.” He didn’t actually want the Hunger Games to be real or think they ever could be, and he felt terrible about even submitting the assignment (against his will). He turned to drugs when the proposal was brought forward and became real, because he was so horrified. He didn’t believe in that kind of vengeance, didn’t want to keep that hatred alive. He didn’t think that was what humanity was or should be. 

And yet. His response to Papa Snow’s betrayal in submitting an assignment about punishing innocent children for a crime they didn’t commit was to punish Snow for a crime he didn’t commit. So maybe he’s wrong about humans, or at least about himself. 

I don’t think Dr. Gaul is right about human nature being inherently evil and violent and selfish, though. Put us in the right circumstances and maybe, sure, but we don’t have to be in those circumstances. She’s so caught up in the eternal war, and obviously you can’t stop a war if you believe it’s still going. And maybe eventually if you’re not hardass there’ll be another one, but maybe there won’t! And goodness knows being hardass didn’t stop the next war! It’s impossible to say for sure that if the Capitol/all of Panem had been more fair and just and kind, the next war wouldn’t have been sooner, but it’s also impossible to say that it wouldn’t have been later, or never. That seems worth fighting for. Dr. Gaul terrifies me, obviously, but she also kind of just makes me sad. What a depressing worldview. She doesn’t see it that way, I’m sure, just sees it as a challenge and a game, but it is sad. 

The rest of my thoughts are less expansive, so let’s just bullet point them:

Propaganda works terrifyingly well. Be careful of your internalized biases and the messaging being fed to you.

The effects of pride and honour and position are wild. Snow was simultaneously crushed and elevated by them, as was Sejanus. 

Speaking of Sejanus, he deserved better. I love my son. 

The fuck was up with Clemensia? They never really resolved that. Is she actually okay? Did her skin grow back? How the hell did that happen? Could she have turned into a snake? Why was she so cutting and mean and unlike herself? Was Gaul controlling her somehow? Why did they refuse to tell her parents anything? But also how could she manage to escape from her room to sneak in on Snow? What the fuck? 

I love the full circle of a Mockingjay bringing Snow up, as Lucy Gray’s voice and fame helped him to rise and bloom, to gain Dr. Gaul’s favor and the Plinths’ money, pulling him out of his , and then a Mockingjay tearing him down, when he crossed Katniss and put her family in danger and she decided he had to die. 

This was a fucking essay, which I feel a little bad about, but I had a lot of thoughts and feelings okay? XD For anyone who actually read this whole thing, you are a saint, you deserve several cookies, I don’t have a way to give you any so here is instead a picture of my kitten using TBOSAS as a pillow.

Have a good day! See you soon for Mockingjay Part 2.

[annikasafternoonread]

So. Lady Knight. Protector of the Small. Where to begin?

I think of Lady Knight as my second favourite of this series, but I can’t actually decide if it might be tied with Page -- not that I didn’t love this book, I just loved Page more than I remembered. Lady Knight might still squeak it out, but only by a hair.

This book is the culmination of a lot of aspects of Kel’s character. We’ve seen her care for children and animals and commoners and anyone in need, time and time again, but usually on a smaller and more personal scale -- now it’s hundreds of people, and yet it still is so personal for her, like when she goes through the ruins of Haven and knows every person’s name and what they were like. We’ve seen her leadership skills, her quick thinking, her creativity --with the hill bandits or the first killing device, her strength and weapon exercises -- now she uses that to run an entire settlement, deal with chores and complaints and then also handle combat and defense (and eventually offense). We’ve seen her unflinching determination and dedication to her goals and to her ideals, be it in pursuing her knighthood or in facing down Joren and his bullies or in teaching Lalasa self-defence and changing the laws that failed her -- now that comes in standing up for her people and fighting for them at whatever risk. 

It’s a culmination built on so much previous development, but it’s also a fantastic standalone story. The previous books didn’t really have an overarching plot, just a time-frame. There are themes or payoffs, but the only real book-length goal is “finish this period of training and move on to the next step.” The final climaxes do build on prior challenges, but they aren’t exactly a culmination of the whole. Lady Knight, on the other hand, isn’t built on a time frame -- the war could last as long as it lasts, the camp could last as long as it lasts, the book could last as long as it lasts. And the plot is all very tightly linked, from beginning with Blayce and the killing devices to building the rapport and community with the refugees to going after the refugees and defeating Blayce. Everything builds on everything before it, and it all holds together as a solid whole. I could imagine someone reading this book and never even realizing it was part of a series, much less that it was the fourth in that series. It builds so well on everything before it, but it also stands amazingly well on its own.

And of course, as we’ve discussed before, I’m a sucker for a lot of the themes and ideas in this book. I absolutely love seeing Kel in her leadership element, even when she feels inadequate. She’s amazing at it -- gentle but firm, hard when it’s called for but kind all the rest of the time, and polite even when she’s being a hardass. She sees people’s strengths and helps nurture them, helps them see them too. She knows when to order and when to nudge or cajole, when to be hard and when to be gentle, when to take the lead and when to ask for help and advice. She inspires respect, admiration, loyalty, trust. 

And then when she goes off to Scanra (all by herself) -- well, that’s just poetry. She was told to protect these people, and she will. She’d die for them, willingly. She expects to, whether at the hands of Scanran fighters or Tortallan courts when she returns. She knows the risks. She knows the odds. But she also knows she has to do it, no matter what, because it’s the right thing to do. And as it turns out, she’s not the only one to realize that. Just... people being good people makes me so freaking happy. She’s not doing it for glory or reward or praise. She’s doing it because it needs to be done. She’s doing it because these people deserve to be protected. She’s doing it because she is the Protector of the Small. 

I gotta talk about the aro/ace stuff because SAME HAT and so I always want to talk about it. I believe Word Of God is that Kel is aro/ace -- doesn’t necessarily know it in the books, but might fall into that camp ultimately. The post I read, it sounded like Tamora wasn’t entirely clear on the terminology or definitions, and it was almost certainly an afterthought not written into the books, but it does fit. Kel definitely has a lot of traits or thoughts or moments that I can relate to strongly. Missing romantic cues, not really understanding why people are so dramatic about love but also jump from fascination to fascination, sometimes breaking romantic relationships or partners down to very practical essentials (see George Cooper and his “nice eyes”)... I vibe with a lot of that. I still see Kel as more arospec than fully aromantic, since her crushes seemed genuine enough, but maybe that’s just cause that’s what I am. Or maybe it’s because I too am in love with Dom and if I can’t have him then I think Kel should. 

Overall, this series is 12/10 would recommend to everyone would read again next week. Except that I won’t be -- I’ll be reading Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel. Given that it’s super late, I will be starting that tomorrow, but I hope you’re looking forward to it as much as I am. I don’t know a ton about the book, but it sounds interesting as heck. 

I’ll see you tomorrow to start that!

[annikasafternoonread]

So, Tempests and Slaughter. Sorry it took me a bit to get this together; moving is always more hectic than I realize. But I wanted to take the time and do this book justice. And there’s a lot to say.

To start off, my overarching thoughts would be... I love this world, I love these characters, I love so many parts of this story... but this didn’t totally feel like a story. And maybe that’s not a bad thing, it’s just an expectation of the form, but it just feels... weird. It reminds me of some of my comments on Independent Study, how the ending didn’t feel like an ending, just a place to stop between books. There isn’t really an overarching theme or conflict that comes to a head, there’s just... a conflict. Actually, it even more reminds me of the second Fantastic Beasts movie, where I didn’t realize that dramatic fascist rally thing was meant to be The Climactic Moment until it was almost over. We’d been building up to so much, set up so many plot points and questions and then resolved none of them. It just... ended. Felt almost like “oh this one is getting long, better throw in some kind of conflict and then switch to the next book/movie.”

We didn’t resolve anything with Chioké, or with Faziy, or with Musenda. And what’s up with Preet? I know gods work on a different timescale but it’s been almost two years! The concept of gladiators was an overarching conflict, I guess, but Kottrun came out of nowhere and nothing was actually resolved. I don’t expect ALL of these to be wrapped up in one book -- gotta leave something for the sequal haha -- but it doesn’t feel like there was any specific reason to cut it here as opposed to anyone else. Maybe around when we found Faziy would have made more sense. It’s not even the end of a term or year or a level of schooling, like how Kel’s books were cut. We just... stopped. I enjoyed all of the content, but the ending just didn’t feel like an ending, so it was a little jarring. 

The ending might not have been entirely satisfying, but the book itself is spot on. It’s right up my alley, as a massive nerd who likes learning anything I can get my hands on. And it’s also right up my alley as someone who is fascinated by how the dynamics of power and manipulation play our between people, especially leaders. And it’s also right up my alley as someone who is down to fight about different disciplines all being valuable in their own way. That basically covers all three of the main characters’ concepts (respectively: Arram, Ozorne, Varice) so there’s pretty much always something I’m interested in happening. 

Ozorne in particular is such a fascinating character. I would say his plot also appeals to me as a sucker for a redemption arc, but we all know he’s not going to get one. That’s the thing with prequels; the ending is already written. Which again, isn’t necessarily a bad thing -- it almost makes it more interesting, to see how well Tamora can make us root for him and empathize with him even when we know what he’s going to become. I guess that still does tie in, because really villains just fascinate me in general. No one (or almost no one) thinks they’re a villain. They think they’re doing things for good reasons. But what qualifies as “good” is different between different people. Or their reasons might be based on flawed assumptions. Or even if their reasons are good, their methods might still be unacceptable to us. But understanding what’s going on in their minds, what makes them tick, what motivates them -- I find that kind of character immersion fascinating. 

I mentioned when I started this that I see a lot of parallels between Arram and Caleb Widogast from Critical Role, but I didn’t really comment on that at all in my reading (I’m honestly really bad at predicting what I’ll comment on XD). I still think there are parallels in the broad strokes, but they don’t really come out in the plot too much. Maybe Ozorne is almost the stronger parallel, since he’s the leader and he’s the one with the corrupt, murderous, lying teacher who wants to manipulate and control and groom him for power (oops did I say that out loud). It’s very possible that Arram could have been a Caleb, in a different world with different influences. Caleb (or rather, Bren) wanted to be good. He wanted to be a good student and a good citizen of the Empire and a good worker and god he just wanted to be good. He really did. And being good was what destroyed him.  

Arram wanted to be good, but the people who guided him had less murderous or fanatical definitions of “good”. Maybe he would have been different anyways; he was always gentle and sympathetic, but it’s not hard to imagine that being trained out of him -- if they got him young, if they built up to it, if they normalized it, if they didn’t give him a choice. Ramasu and Yadeen and Cosmas and so many others, they always prioritized Arram’s consent. They always asked to share his power, made it clear that he could say no, encouraged him to speak up if he was uncomfortable -- he was always in control of his choices, he was always empowered to choose his direction. They pushed him, challenged him, encouraged him, but it was his call. And if something was in contrast to his morals, then he didn’t do it. 

Except Chioké. Except that one day on the field, when Chioké insisted Arram throw fire when he didn’t want to, saw a battlefield future for Arram that nauseated him. He didn’t want it, but Chioké didn’t care. Chioké wanted power, wanted to increase his own power, wanted to control others’ power, wanted more always more. He would be happy to break Arram, or bend him to his will. I really wonder, with Faziy, did they force her to cast the spells? Did they use her knowledge then get rid of her so she couldn’t tell? Was she just a frame opportunity and had nothing to do with any of it? All of those possibilities fit with how Chioké uses and abuses power, his own and others’. 

I think that’s all the main points I can think of for now. I’m sure there’s more I could say -- I could write several essays on this shit -- but off the top of my head, I’m tapped out. Feel free to let me know if there’s anything you think I missed, or anything you’d like to hear my thoughts on. I probably have thoughts. I have a lot of thoughts. Almost as many as I have feelings. 

Anyways, I work tomorrow evening so I’ll probably start the next book on Wednesday. That means this is your last chance to weigh in! Should I discover Gideon the Ninth, will I re-explore the Wings quintet, or is it time for Most Likely? Let me know!

I’ll see you soon :)

[annikasafternoonread]

First Test, complete. Next up, Page.

I don’t know if I have much to say here, since it’s the first book and only covers a fairly short period. It’s a great book, a great story, a great cast of characters.

The theme of sexism and feminism is obviously a huge factor in this book, but at the same time, it doesn’t feel like it’s belaboured. Kel is aware of what people think. She’s frustrated by it. But she doesn’t really make a big deal of it. First of all, she’s ten. She doesn’t really have the finer points of feminist theory nailed down just yet. 

But mostly, it’s just -- that’s not her style. She could try to argue them around. It would be a waste of breath. She focuses on doing things. Not spitefully, not because someone said she can’t, but just because she wants to and she will. Sometimes spite is involved, but it’s generally not the main factor. She’s kind of like George Washington in Hamilton: It doesn’t matter what people think. It matters what she does. She’ll do her best.

She’ll stand up for people in need, even if it’s risky, even if they don’t have anything to offer her, even if they’re cruel to her. She’ll put in the work, even when she’s tired and sore and uncomfortable and it seems unfair. She’ll take others under her wing and help them learn and grow. She’ll be the kind of person people can’t help respect. 

And none of it is for glory or pride or reward or any kind of personal benefit. She doesn’t do it because she wants something, she does it because it’s the right thing to do. Because she helps people. Because she cares about people. Because she cares about what’s right. Because she is peak Hufflepuff -- loyal, determined, hardworking, stubborn, caring. Because she is the Protector of the Small. 

Do no harm and take no shit, thy name is Keladry of Mindelan. 

I’ll see you for Page -- possibly not tomorrow, as I’ve got a couple library books I’m not planning to blog and I might see what I can speed through in a day or two. By Wednesday at the latest. 

Thanks for joining me!

[annikasafternoonread]

So that’s Squire -- that last chapter wasn’t as long as it looked, I guess! Or I just had less to say. Or it’s easier to read and type when a certain attention-seeking kitten that shall remain Goose isn’t walking all over my keyboard. 

So. Squire. 

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I freaking love this book. Raoul is just... he’s everything. He’s so good for Kel, so supportive and thoughtful and insightful, such a good teacher and a good friend. He believes in her without question, and helps her believe in herself. He knows what she’s capable of, and helps her to be capable of even more. He lets her prove herself on her own terms, helps her prove herself on her own terms. He makes her an even better and smarter and stronger and more talented version of the already amazing person she was and was going to be. 

The themes in this one got a little bit darker and deeper and more mature than in the previous books. Gender-based violence and sexual assault was more specifically brought up, and the fucked up nature of the justice system (good thing we’ve gotten over both of those things, right? Right? *sighs*). We get more insights into how law and politics and diplomacy and leadership work, lessons through Jon and Raoul and Kel and plenty of others. War arrives in Tortall, bloody and raw and terrifying and ongoing. This book has a lot to carry, but it does it with admirable strength and respect.

The idea of duty and honour was also really hammered home, as we saw the changes in characters. In amidst all the darkness and frustration, we also saw characters who were willing to admit their mistakes, who were willing to change their minds, who put honour and duty and the law above their own personal feelings. Lord Wyldon admitted to Kel that he had been wrong in how he treated her, that she was a fantastic page and squire, that he respected her and was even proud of her. Duke Turomot went to town on Joren, and was at least assumed to be potentially willing to work towards changing the law, and then volunteered to instruct and observe Kel so that no one could possibly question that she’d earned her shield by the book. The nameless conservative who jousted her then shook her hand and apologized. Progress is hard, it’s slow, but it comes. 

The romance with Cleon I am deeply meh about. It’s fine, it serves its purpose, I just have no investment in it whatsoever. He’s too flowery for me. Dom’s humour is more my speed. But who am I to judge Kel’s type. If he is her type. He might just be convenient. I could talk about stuff more but honestly I’m just too bored by it. I don’t hate it, I just do not care. Like whenever there’s romance in The 100, I just so deeply do not give a shit -- get back to the moral quandaries!

Fear also plays through, in a lot of different ways, most particularly with the Chamber and all the visits to it, watching Kel’s fear and her sense of self shift over time, as she conquers one issue or encounters a new one. Her fear of heights is no longer debilitating, but it sure as hell isn’t gone. And then there’s “seeing the kraken” and the fucking killing machines jesus fuckity fuck those fuckers are fucking scary. But with every fear, it never rules her. It never breaks her. She’s stronger than her fear, and she keeps going, because that’s what she has to do, that’s what the people that need her need her to do -- keep going. 

The intercultural stuff is also a blast. Kel’s Yamani upbringing suddenly becomes a deeply valuable asset, and we get to see the friends she grew up with and the culture she grew up in, not just hear about it or see the effects. We get to see some of the cultural differences, the things that stick out to a newcomer, and the way the cultures start to blend -- Thayet practicing the glaive and wanting a shukusen, kimono style clothes becoming fashionable. The Yamani incorporate to an extent, most of the delegation planning to leave after the wedding for instance, but they also hold onto their heritage, their decor and weapons and style. They don’t assimilate, they adopt and adjust and find their own middle. And the royal family does the same. 

I’m sure there are other things I could have talked about -- more about the leadership stuff, perhaps, or the griffin, but. There’s just so much. And so much of it is so good. If I kept talking until I’d covered everything, this post might be longer than the book -- and it’s a long book! I think I hit the main things, though, which means this is where I leave Squire for now, and tomorrow it’s on to Lady Knight!

See you then.

[annikasafternoonread]

And that’s it. That’s Fire. A story begun in blood and finished in forgiveness. A story that covers about a billion important and underrepresented topics and does them all justice -- some are briefer than others, but they are still there, still unapologetic, still important. 

I love this book so much. I really do. I feel like I’m constantly surprised by all the different elements that are squeezed in, how many things are so different from the usual, and how good the characters are. They’re not flawless; they’re human. They hurt and they get angry and they say unkind things but they want to do good and they try and they learn and they apologize and they love. There’s so much growth and healing and it’s just... so good. It’s so wholesome, and it makes me feel whole. 

There are a million reasons to read this book, and I cannot recommend it highly enough. And I also highly recommend Graceling and Bitterblue, the other two books set in this universe, across the mountains. Graceling does at times come off a bit rougher, but it’s still so good and deals with some of the same issues of self-doubt and morality and identity. Bitterblue is more complex and convoluted and deals with aftermath and mourning and memory and rebuilding and leadership and -- well, a lot of things. They’re both extremely good. 

And tomorrow (I’m speaking it into the world and hopefully it will be true) I’ll start the next book! There’s been one vote for Shatterglass, but either still possible. Tell me your thoughts!

See you soon :)