!!CW// Mention of ED, Depression, Social Anxiety (all minor)!!
This post contains links to books and products that you may wish to buy. I'm not sponsored by anyone, I just know how annoying it can be to be told about something and not know where to buy it, so I included links. If I've mentioned something you would like a link on, please let me know and I'll edit one in at the appropriate location. Please be aware that I am from the UK, so all sites linked are UK based
I have a very weird relationship with books, in that I grew up reading frequently, loving it, and being known at the kid who always had at least one book in their bag. Then I got Gifted Kid Syndrome and dropped reading like a particularly ugly doll and moved on to watching YouTube and playing video games.
That analogy is a little iffy, actually. I never fully dropped reading, I just stopped doing it nearly as frequently, and one day I asked myself if I should actually bother putting the book in my bag because it's just taking up space and getting damaged. I still bought books all the time, and officially own 300 at the moment ("officially" meaning that that's how many are in my personal library log, I know I have more than that around) but I would probably only read one a year, if that. More often than not I would take books out of the library, read perhaps a few pages of one of them, then renew them for 6 months swearing I would take the time to read them just to return them unread.
A lot of the reading in my teens happened in school as part of my English classes at GCSE. These classes consisted of reading pages together in lesson, often aloud. Sometimes we would be told to sit and read until we got to a certain part, then we could put the book down and answer some set questions. In the final 10 minutes there would be a discussion. I did actually read during these times, but it was only because if we didn't we were reprimanded. As a formally gifted reader, I hated the aloud sessions, and would read ahead because others read too slowly (and it would somehow be almost 10 years before a doctor told me I might have ADHD). When I was inevitably told I had to read, I had to ask where we were. More often than not the teacher assumed disinterest and pretending to read the pages, and I would have to explain that I had actually just read ahead, and was on the next week's set of chapters already. I got reprimanded for that once, too.
Classroom trauma aside. The point here is that I didn't do a lot of reading in my mid-late teens. In 2018, I discovered Goodreads, and their reading challenge. I, not fully knowing what I could or couldn't do, set myself a challenge of reading five books that year, and I finished all five. My challenge says I read 5/4 because towards the end of the year I was worried I wouldn't hit target and lowered the count, but I did finish my book in the end. For those interested, I read:
The Silver Eyes, Scott Cawthon
Sherlock: The Essential Arthur Conan Doyle Adventures, Mark Gatiss and Steven Moffat
Can I Tell You About Eating Disorders?, Bryan Lask
We're All Mad Here: A No-Nonsence Guide to Social Anxiety, Claire Eastham
I Had a Black Dog It's Name was Depression, Matthew Johnstone.
As you can see, three of these books were mental health based. I was attending therapy in 2018 and my therapist recommended I read about my disorders as well as having therapy sessions, as reading about them might work better for me than just talking about them every few weeks. That whole thing is a completely different post for some other day, but it did make me pick up reading again, and Claire Eastham's book would actually be the first example of what would eventually develop into my own personal way of "tagging" books. I decided to study it like I would a book for school, and ended up writing important or interesting information in the journal my therapist suggest I have. I still have those notes even now.
Despite this boost back into my hobby, reading was still something I had to work hard to do. In 2019 I read 17/15 books, 2020 saw me reading 12/20, 2021 was 15/15, and 2022 was 5/15. My reading habits fluctuated massively, and I was still struggling to finish the books I already owned. Also, my actual book count in 2020 was 11. I mistagged a book as read and for some reason, despite correcting the mistake, Goodreads still added it to my reading challenge count.
In 2019 I started university, and you can see that my reading count did go up, but it wasn't because I was reading the books I was assigned for class. Some of the books I read from 2019 onwwards were class books, and were counted towards my reading challenge count, but a lot of the things we were asked to read for lessons or assignments I read notes and papers on because I couldn't get past the first couple of pages without being unbelievably bored. Likewise, I wasn't taking notes on anything I read like I did for We're All Mad Here. I just read the book and moved on, no notes, no comments, no annotations.
Recently, I handed in the final assignment for my course. All the reading I had to do for classes and papers is over, and I'm free to read how I please until September, when I (hopefully) begin my masters degree. This is lucky, as my father and I started a reading challenge together at Christmas, we want to read 100 books together. We're on book two right now because leisure reading has been slow for me due to being a student and trying to balance my social, student, and family lives. Hopefully I'll finish this book this month and we can start another together, and it's my choice this time! I have no idea what we'll read next, but I want to do a book I haven't read yet, as my first recommendation was a book I was reading for an assignment that I was actually enjoying. Though I am also getting really into Alice's Adventures in Wonderland again, so I might make him read that, who knows.
I think I am actually beginning to enjoy reading again. A massive part of why I stopped in the first place was because the books I was reading simply weren't enjoyable. I had to pick them up for school and analyse them excessively, and I hated it. I genuinely blame Kazuo Ishiguro for my disinterest in reading, now, because Never Let Me Go would have been a fantastic book if I didn't have to over-analyse, reread, and deconstruct every sentence of it. I saw his name pop up on a university reading list last year and I actually complained to my classmates and lecturer because I was so dreading having to analyse another one of his works. Though, again, I think I would have genuinely enjoyed and appreciated Never Let Me Go if it wasn't for the fact I was reading an A-Level book for a first year GCSE class because my teacher thought we were all sooo smart (newsflash, we all failed the mock exam on Ishiguro's book and had to quickly switch tracks to do an actual GCSE book. We read Heroes, Robert Cormier, but were given the option of either set of exam questions in our final test. We all chose Heroes).
Throughout my time at university I did manage to sneak books I actually enjoyed reading into assignments, and built a habit of trying to do that at least once for each assignment, but I often ended up using the same book in different papers because I found they could be used across multiple modules. As we had to do a lot of reading and talking about what we read, I ended up writing in my books in pencil. Then, eventually, used pen and highlighter. They were my books, so it didn't matter.
Not because the books are "damaged", but because they look awful, and it's hard to write neatly in books. I stopped writing in them aside from maybe putting my name in the front cover because there were twenty of us in class and we often showed each other our books to point out extracts and such, and I didn't want to lose my copy. My annotating looked sloppy, and I despised it. I feel like I ruined the flow of my favourite poetry book because I used highlighter in it. I now have a clean, signed copy that I haven't directly annotated (for anyone who's read past posts, it's Neil Hilborn's book!). As you might guess, however, discussing books is difficult when you haven't been able to write down your points.
When it came to writing for my dissertation, I was finding it incredibly hard to keep track of my thought processes, comments, and ideas. Then, I saw a TikTok where a book tagger was talking about small, coloured sticky tabs, and I decided to give them a go. I don't think I understood it very well, though, and should have probably looked up more information about book tagging. I'm just now realising while writing this that the tags likely went all over the page, not just towards the ends. I also didn't like the fact that these little pointed tags were just...well...pointers. You still had to physically write in the book to leave comments. I was past doing that, I already knew I didn't like it, so I gave up on tagging. It was then that it came to me that I could probably use some form of clear, removeable cover to annotate my books. I was thinking a full page cover that I could draw, annotate, and highlight on. Maybe something like sheets of thin, white baking paper, or perhaps something like those plaster sleeves for paper that people use in folders. In my research for such an item I remembered my friend showing me clear sticky notes! Unfortunatly, I couldn't actually find any that were book page sizes, but they do come in standard sticky note size, and can easily be layered together to cover a whole page. I had found my method of annotating!!!
These sticky notes did not solve everything right away. I still had to learn how to use them. I learned immediately that highlighting was out of the game, as the highlighter fluid wouldn't dry before I needed to turn the page, and would therefore bleed and mark other pages. I either had to slow down my reading, or use something else. I turned to bic multi pens. Stick a note, choose a colour, find a line, and underline it! Problem solved, I could now annotate with ease. This did present another problem, however...after a few chapters, the books could no longer close properly. I decided that writing up my annotations would solve the problem, and set out to buy a notebook. The café terrace at night notebook from Waterstones became my victim, and I began writing up my notes so I could remove my sticky notes and eventually close the book properly again. Usually I would be a big advocate against wasting plastic like this, but I researched the sticky notes I'm using and found out that they're widely recycled, because they're made out of the same type of plastic as water bottles! Amazing!
My tagging method is broken down as such:
Put a clear sticky note on the first inside page of the book.
Select what colours I would like to use while annotating (usually ones that match up with the cover's colours), and write what each colour means on the sticky note.
-> Typical annotations are "lines I like, comments, research, activities, ideas"
Read, placing sticky notes as needed for annotating.
Write up sticky note annotations key in notebook.
Write annotations in notebook in the same colours used while annotating in the book (with any yellow annotations being written in black and highlighted in yellow for ease of reading)
I used this method of tagging my books solely for the ones I was reading for my dissertation, and basically all leisure reading stopped this year because of said dissertation. Any book I picked up to read leisurely ended up analysed with sticky notes. Writing up the notes became its own little side project as it was taking up too much time, but since submitting my last assignment all I've wanted to do is finish writing up my notes for Leif Bersweden's Where the Wildflowers Grow: My Botanical Journey Through Britain and Ireland. Mostly so I can begin on my notes for The Trespasser's Companion (Nick Hayes) and continue reading it, as that book has ended up with so many notes that it's difficult to annotate new notes. This is honestly a downside to this method, but one I'm willing to work with. I find that I can take a break from reading my book while still enjoying it by writing up my notes. Though I do also absolutely adore Leif's book, and find that writing up my notes allows me to connect with a book more because I'm now looking at it through my own comments, favourite lines, and interesting facts I've found. Basically, I found a way to tag books that sticks with me way more than the more widely-used method of small slips of coloured sticky notes and pens.
Recently, I've started to apply this method to a book I'm actually reading for lesisure - the one my dad chose for our reading challenge. It's The Chimp Paradox, by Professor Steve Peters, which does sound like an educational read, but dad and I have a general interest in subjects concerning the mind. And we both have ADHD and are actively trying to learn more about it. This book helps, the chimp analogy is also one used for ADHD, so I can relate it to that easily. I realised I was having trouble reading for long periods of time despite actively enjoying the book, and I kept finding lines I liked and activities I wanted to take note of. Then I realised I still have clear sticky notes in my pencil case, and I can use them in this book despite having no intention of using it for any assignments. I can still analyse and annotate the book at my leisure and write up notes on it. I started the entire thing again and began to do this, and I'd read the first chapter in no time at all despite my first attempt splitting the first chapter across two days. I felt more connected to what I was reading, too, like I understood it more and was paying closer attention to it. I could take more from what was being said, and had things to say about it. As a bonus, this method of reading will help me connect with my dad more as I always have my notebook in my bag out of habit, so I can actually show him my notes and we can discuss the book in detail without me getting confused and lost.
The likelihood is that tagging my book like this and analysing it when I don't need to is helping me in my enjoyment of reading because it's giving my ADHD something to do during an otherwise quiet and still activity. I'm no longer sitting still, occasionally moving a hand to turn the page or take a sip of tea, a nightmare for my particular brand of ADHD. Instead I'm consciously thinking about the words I'm reading, underlining lines I want to draw attention to or particularly enjoy, and writing comments about what I've just read. It's not much more movement, but it's movement! It's engaging in a way I can't achieve by solely reading the book.
This method of reading has really helped me to understand why people tag their books in the first place, and though it takes longer for me to finish a book because I'm pausing to underline things and write notes, I feel like I can actually say now that I read as a hobby. Already, I want to go back to books I've previously read and go through with sticky notes and pens to draw out my favourite lines and make little comments. The Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives in Your Home (Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Cranor) is one that I'm particularly excited to go back to, as I enjoyed it thoroughly and know there's several lines I would like to draw attention to, and comments I'd like to make. I'm also currently reading What The Hell Did I Just Read by David Wong as I came across it in Waterstones and absolutely could not put it back on the shelf after reading the first few lines. I read some of it on a slow journey home, but I am more than happy to start again and do some annotating, I have a feeling it won't be able to close once set down after the first two chapters because of the amount of notes that will be in it. I may have to bulk buy some more sticky notes for this one. I say I'm "currently reading" it, but I've decided to put it down for now as The Chimp Paradox is a university library book, and is therefore on a time limit as I have to return it by a certain date as I'm technically no longer enrolled at my university (my masters application is still processing). I just cannot wait to annotate it, though.
I'll have to come up with a set of rules for myself so I don't end up with several books full of notes all waiting for one specific book to be written up, which is what is sort of happening right now. I have to finish writing the notes for Leif before I begin the ones for Nick or Steve (more likely Steve because of the time limit). I'm pretty sure I have one or two poetry books that need their notes writing up, too, but I own those so they're not on a time crunch for their notes being written. I might also buy another notebook so I can write up the notes for multiple books at once, so a bigger, or more annotated, book doesn't severely delay things. Though this is all thought processes that can wait for a bit. Right now I'm writing up Leif notes when I'm taking a break from reading Steve's book, and that's a good system. Sometimes I'm going to want to write things up rather than read, and that's fine. I also know I'm not going to go back through all the books I've ever read so I can do notes on them. I might not even annotate all the books I read from here on out. It's just something I can do while reading if I choose to do so, not something I must do or I'm not allowed to read the book. That isn't feasable or fair on myself. This isn't a task, it's a hobby.
Speaking of hobbies, this entire blog started out as me wanting to do movie and book reviews, and that plan has yet to come to fruition as I haven't done a single movie or book review. I said in this post that this blog is now for whatever I want to write. I can write anything and, if I want to share it, it goes here. Part of me still wants to do my long winded movie and book reviews, however. I never deleted my Mitchells vs. The Machines review, and am occasionally going back to it to add bits. That being said, I think it will be a lot easier to do book reviews with this method of reading, as I won't have to sift through my brain to try and remember paticular things, nor will I have to spend ages flicking back through the book to find particular quotes. It'll all be in my notebook. I won't promise anything, as this blog is also a hobby, but it's just something else about the way I'm choosing to read my books, now.
It feels so nice to be actively excited about reading, again. It's been far, far too long.
