#bookpain

[slushsoda]

Me right now, finishing The Raven King: . . . . #bookpain #trc #theravencycle #theravencycleart #theravenking #doodle https://www.instagram.com/p/Cep2VkfOWZq/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[kaleighrconway]

Joyful Heartbreak

Have you ever finished reading a book, or watching a television series, or even a really good trilogy like Lord of the Rings, and feel... joyfully bereft?

I think anyone with a functioning amygdala has felt this at some point. Loss. Thrilling, heartbreaking, excitement and grief. It's over. It ended well! All your favourite characters made it, except maybe one or two, and that hurts. Jesus, it hurts so bad, but the main guy or gal did and... things will be better now. The world is as it should be.

Except it's not your world. And it hurts again. More even. Because you invested emotions in it. Time, effort, feelings. You blocked out the rest of your world to engage in this one! You did sub-par at your job and took extra long lunch breaks to get more of it for fuck's sake! You stayed up so damn late to watch it all because with all the extra material those movies are really long and... and...

You didn't tolerate spoilers, you wore headphones when people discussed the latest episode and you were SO GOOD about pausing so you could freak out silently and not miss any dialogue. You re-read and re-read your favourite chapters over again to make sure you didn't miss a single instance of subtext or extra plot. Were those characters subtly having a thing the whole book?! Sure they were, I mean... Jeff spent the WHOLE THING being like "Where's jenn? Is Jenn ok?" and you KNOW there is something going on between those two, just because the author didn't state it explicitly doesn't mean it doesn't exist. IT EXISTS.

I hurt today Tumblr. It's not over. I can always re-live it. But what hurts more, is that perhaps, I was never really a part of it.