a little back story...
I can’t begin to write a blog about my walk with Christ until I explain my back story and little about who I was and what I came from. I was born December 18, 1986 to a very good christian family. My mom is the daughter of a southern baptist preacher and my father is the son of an elder in the pentacostal church. I can never remember a time in my life that we were not in church or watching church or talking about church. Christ was the center of my family upbringing. It wasn’t until May of 2002 that my life began to go in a downward spiral.
I had always had the urges of being attracted to the same sex. Any of my little girlfriends I always viewed them as more than just little friends.....when we were playing house I was always the husband and always just played that role. I knew it was wrong(or just different in my eyes at the time) but I just went with it because it felt so natural to me.....It says in the bible that: Psalm 51:5 “ Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me “. YES WE ARE ALL BORN INTO SIN!!!!
It wasn’t until high school that I began to act on my craving for women. May of 2002, a sophmore in high school, my parents broke the news to my brother and I that they were getting a divorce. We wound up living with my dad full time because i wanted to stay with my friends in my high school. He became very depressed and angry because of the stiuation. He was very angry and very short tempered during all of this time. He yelled at my brother and I and was very short to anger at us, not that we were easy, but it caused a bit of mental and emotional trauma in us as children.
It was also in high school that I began to give into my fleshly desires of attraction to the same sex. I kissed my first girl. I had my first few intense crushes on girls. I began to sneak and watch tv shows with lesbianism in them. It wasn’t until I graduated and moved out that I began to actually have relationships with females. I even married a man and broke his heart because of my confusion and disorder. Just to try to hide it from my family. I came out to my family in 2005. Some of them took it better than others and my mom did not take it well. Our relationship became very rocky and angry. We fought and she treated me as an outcast.
I also began to drink in my twenties and dabble in pot. I went through several relationships with females some more serious than others. The drinking got heavier and more often. I started taking and selling pills. Still smoking pot. still drinking and drinking and drinking. I married a female. A female who was abusive and a cheater and it was a horrible relationship. I then got into rehab after 10 years of drugs and alcohol. It was at this point I met the love of my life. A christian girl who had a good head on her shoulders and a great job.....I though wow finally God is giving me everything I have been waiting on.
I started to attend church with her and fell in love with church. I then began to stay sober. Read his word more. I started serving at my church. And there was a sermon at our church entitled “The Fruit We Bear”. It wasn’t until then that God started working more deeply in my spirit. 3 years of going to the church and serving with the kids and serving in the food pantry also. Everything was finally starting to look up........