Growing Into Me...
"Sometimes you have to run around like a chicken with your head cut off and yell about everything to figure out what the hell you're yellin' for in the first place."
We, as humans and spiritual beings, are ever~changing. It's kinda funny that we live in a world where we expect our Artists to stay the same when the entire crux of Life pivots on change.
Just like me, I want my music to continually evolve. I started off ten years ago singing whatever came out of my heart. At that point in time, it was love, boys, and "bleeding~heart" syndrome. Nevertheless, I was sixteen...of COURSE that's where I was at that point in Time!!!
Then I had a billion~and~one Life experiences (some of which I thought I could do without at some points). As any young, developing twenty~something year old, you go through many developmental milestones and a questioning of one’s own existence and Life Purpose. A great length of time was spent wandering the wilderness, trying to figure out what exactly that was. And…as any young person who first grasps on to any form of an epiphany, I sprung forth with more zeal than most of the Universe was probably prepared for (well…at least my family LOL).
It’s very difficult to learn balance, especially when trying to grow continuously on Life’s journey while incorporating a public lifestyle into your journey. It’s hard to know what to share, what hill to die on, and what parts of your life deserve to belong just to you. I’ve always been, and still am, an incredibly open person. If I truly believe that whatever I have to share can benefit another, I do my best to give it in a heartbeat. And sometimes, this can be exasperating…
So where am I in all of this and what the hell does this have to do with my music??? (Got it…I’ll get to the point now) ;)
Here’s the deal. I am exactly who I am. Yes, I am dual~gendered. But I don’t want this to be the “focus” of my music. If my sexuality influences my music and I wanna sing about it, then cool. But it shouldn’t have to be the driving force and point of ALL of my Art.
Yes, I love to dress in Drag. I released my BoY ThundeRRR image mostly for the LGBT Community…so we could all have some fun music we could relate to. I took my Drag image to the red carpet, and it’s about to be Internationally launched…cuz you know what?? I really don’t want people who are unique like me and a million other people I know (not so unique in this regards now, are we??) to feel alone. I want there to be a support system for those who need it, and since this was an area that I could relate to, and since I have looked up to others who have brought support to the LGBT arena who pulled me towards my own sexual understandings, I wanted to give back to the LGBT community with a KILLER adorable EP. But the reality is, this was meant to be more of an expression of who I am and extension of my love toward my community. Again, it shouldn’t HAVE to be the driving force of my Art.
Yes, I love ALL styles of music. But just cuz I sing Country, doesn’t mean I don’t wanna write Rap. And just because I sing Rap, doesn’t mean I don’t wanna write Country. See what I mean? I have proven my versatility as an Artist and I plan on keeping it. While I’m touring one day for singing Pop tunes, I will be writing singer-songwriting ballads for a Team. That’s just the way it’s gonna be. I know everyone wants to streamline my happy a$$, but the reality is I am a multifaceted human being, with many Gifts from God, many Artistic desires in my heart, and many lovely things to offer the world. Why would anyone want to streamline that?? I personally love it when I find out that the Artists I know have interwoven themselves in a million different things…like music, cinematography, and fashion design. YES!! Why not?? The world and our existence in it goes only as far as we insist that it should.
I definitely tried to show all sides of myself as an Artist, prior to determining the directions I am currently heading as an Artist. I didn’t want some paparazzi shooting up pictures and blowing up the Universe with a pile of bigotry because I chose to go to The Abbey in Drag…after singing Sweet Home Alabama in Texas…I don’t need that…my children don’t need that…NO ONE needs that. I felt like I really needed to drive the point home, so no one would be surprised, flabbergasted, and a royal pain in the media a$$.
That being said, I see no reason to keep making the same point. I love everything I have done as an Artist, but I want to go on to be an “Artist” now. I don’t want my Art to HAVE to be my confessional and my defense to the world for who I am; nor do I want it to be my own created box that people only see me in. My Art will always be expressing different things, supporting different causes, but ALWAYS inspiring love, healing, and change. I…as an Artist and Human Being…always plan on changing and growing. So I don’t want any of you to be surprised when my focus on my Art changes and grows in a different direction.
I also want to say this. I shared many personal truths about who I am and made them into Art in order to inspire you. But here is the reality: Artists should not HAVE to do that. I do believe that we, as Artists, should be leaders and champions for change on all levels that it is needed. That is what celebrity power is for, at least in my opinion. I see no reason for it if I plan to not lead others towards love, healing, and unity. Yet, Artists and their Art should not have to be DEFINED by the causes they rally to support. Art should also not have to be a diary. It can be…but it should not have to be. We have far too much reality TV circulating around, making us think this is the case…when the reality is, we are all entitled to live our own lives in some form of comfort and privacy.
So what’s the Moral of my Story?? ……..I’m me…I’m weird…and I’m gonna do what I wanna do…so if you’re with me, enjoy the ride as well as the constant change.
I LUBBERZ you allZ and I hope that this inspires you to be you, and never let anyone streamline you and tell you how to live your life. Even if it’s a part of who you are, it doesn’t have to become your ENTIRE life. Join me and be the multifaceted beautiful beings you are DESTINED to be. <3 <3 <3
