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“Anyway,” Cohen went on, “it dunt matter if someone kills the gods. It does matter that someone tried. Next time, someone’ll try harder.” “All that will happen is that you will be killed,” said Fate, but the more thoughtful gods were edging away. “What have we got to lose?” said Boy Willie. “We’re going to die anyway. We’re ready to die.” “We’ve always been ready to die,” said Caleb the Ripper. “That’s why we’ve lived such a long time,” said Boy Willie. “But... why be so upset?” said Blind Io. “You’ve had long eventful lives, and the great cycle of nature--” “Ach, the great cycle o’ nature can eat ma loincloth!” said Mad Hamish. “And there’s not many as would want to do that,” said Cohen. “And I ain’t much good with words, but... I reckon we’re doing this ‘cos we are goin’ to die, d’yer see? And ‘cos some bloke got to the edge of the world somewhere and saw all them other worlds out there and burst into tears ‘cos there was only one lifetime. So much universe, and so little time. And that’s not right...”

-- on the reasons why | Terry Pratchett, The Last Hero

#cohen the barbarian #boy willie #hamish #blind io #fate #the last hero #discworld #terry pratchett #quote

“Excuse me? I say? Excuse me?” said Gertrude. “Are you dead?” “Are we dead, Willie?” said Cohen. “We ought to be dead. But I don’t feel dead.” “I ain’t dead!” roared Mad Hamish. “I’ll knock any man doon as tells me a’m dead!” “There’s an offer you can’t refuse,” said Cohen, swinging himself on to HIlda’s horse. “Saddle up, boys.” “But... excuse me?” said Gertrude, who was one of those people afflicted with terminal politeness. “We were supposed to take you to the great Halls of the Slain. There’s mead and roast pork and fighting in between courses! Just for you! That’s what you wanted! They laid it on just for you!” “Yeah? Thanks all the same, but we ain’t goin’,” said Cohen. “But that’s where dead heroes have got to go!” “I don’t remember signin’ anythin’,” said Cohen. He looked up at the sky. The sun had set, and the first stars were coming out. Every one was a world, eh? “You still not joining us, Mrs McGarry?” he said. “Not yet, boys.” Vena smiled. “Not quite ready, I think. There’ll come a time.” “Fair enough. Fair enough. We’ll be going, then. Got a lot to do...” “But--” Mrs McGarry looked across the snowfield. The wind had blown the snow over... shapes. Here a sword hilt projected from a drift, there a sandal was just visible. “Are you dead or not?” she said. Cohen scanned the snow. “Well, the way I see it, we don’t think we are, so why should we care what anyone else thinks? We never have. Ready, Hamish? Then follow me, boys!”

-- every one a world | Terry Pratchett, The Last Hero

#the silver horde #cohen the barbarian #boy willie #hamish #vena #the last hero #discworld #terry pratchett #quote

“A heroic saga, lad. It’ll be the most famousest one ever.” “What about?” “Us.” “You? But you’re all ol--” The minstrel stopped. Even after a life that had hitherto held no danger greater than a hurled meat bone at a banquet, he could recognize sudden death when he saw it. And he saw it now. Age hadn’t weakened here -- well, except in one or two places. Mostly, it had hardened. “I wouldn’t know how to compose a saga,” he said feebly. “We’ll help,” said Truckle. “We know lots,” said Boy Willie. “Been in most of ‘em,” said Cohen. The minstrel’s thoughts ran like this: These men are rubies insane. They are rubies sure to kill me. Rubies. They’ve dragged me rubies all the rubies rubies. They want to give me a big bag of rubies rubies... “I suppose I could extend my repertoire,” he mumbled. A look at their faces made him readjust his vocabulary. “All right, I’ll do it,” he said. A tiny bit of honesty, though, survived even the glow of the jewels. “I’m not the world’s greatest minstrel, you know.” “You will be after you write this saga,” said Cohen, untying his ropes. “Well... I hope you like it...” Cohen grinned again. “‘S’not up to us to like it. We won’t hear it,” he said. “What? But you just said you wanted me to write you a saga--” “Yeah, yeah. But it’s gonna be the saga of how we died.”

-- the minstrel joins the horde | Terry Pratchett, The Last Hero

#cohen #truckle #boy willie #the singer #the last hero #discworld #terry pratchett #quote

“Well, when I was a lad,” said Truckle, “if you wanted to get a girl’s int’rest, you had to cut off your worst enemy’s wossname and present it to her.” “Whut?” “I SAID YOU HAD TO CUT OFF YOUR WORST ENEMY’S WOSSNAME AND PRESENT IT TO HER!” “Aye, romance is a wonderful thing,” said Mad Hamish. “What’d you do if you didn’t have a worst enemy?” said Boy Willie. “You try and cut off anyone’s wossname,” said Truckle, “and you’ve soon got a worst enemy.” “Flowers is more usual these days,” said Caleb, reflectively.

-- on romance | Terry Pratchett, The Last Hero

#truckle #caleb #boy willie #hamish #the last hero #discworld #terry pratchett #quote

“Haven’t you heard of the Tsortean Knot?” “Sounds dirty,” said Truckle. “Hur, hur, hur... sorry.” The minstrel sighed. “It was a huge, complicated knot that tied two beams together in the Temple of Offler in Tsort, and it was said that whoever untied it would reign over the whole of the continent,” he said. “They can be very tricky, knots,” said Mrs. McGarry. “Carelinus sliced right through it with his sword!” said the minstrel. The revelation of this dramatic gesture did not get the applause he expected. “So he was a cheat as well as a cry-baby?” said Boy Willie. “No! It was a dramatic, nay, portentous gesture!” snapped the minstrel. “Yeah, okay, but it’s not exactly untying, is it? I mean, if the rules say ‘untying,’ I don’t see why he should--” “Nah, nah, the lad’s got a point,” said Cohen, who seemed to have been turning this one over in his mind. “It wasn’t cheating, because it was a good story. Yeah. I can understand that.” He chuckled. “I can just imagine it, too. A load of whey-faced priests and suchlike standin’ around and thinkin’, ‘that’s cheatin’, but he’s got a really big sword so I won’t be the first to point this out, plus this damn great army is just outside.’ Hah. Yeah. Hmm. What did he do next?”

-- on the Tsortian Knot | Terry Pratchett, The Last Hero

#cohen the barbarian #truckle #vena the raven-haired #boy willie #the singer #the last hero #discworld #terry pratchett #quote

“Whut?” said Hamish, waking up. “HE ASKED WHY WE WANT TO RETURN FIRE TO THE GODS, HAMISH!” “Eh? Someone’s got to do it!” cackled Hamish. “Because it’s a big world and we ain’t seen it all,” said Boy Willie. “Because the buggers are immortal,” said Caleb. “Because of the way my back aches on chilly nights,” said Truckle. The minstrel looked at Cohen, who was staring at the ground. “Because...” said Cohen. “because... they’ve let us grow old.”

-- why | Terry Pratchett, The Last Hero

#the silver horde #hamish #boy willie #caleb #truckle #cohen #the minstrel #the last hero #discworld #terry pratchett #quote

Several elderly men sat huddled around a fire. “I hope he’s right about the stair of light,” said Boy Willie. “We’re going to look real muffins if it isn’t there.” “He was right about the giant walrus,” said Truckle the Uncivil. “When?” “Remember when we were crossing the ice? When he shouted, ‘Look out! We’re going to be attacked by a giant walrus!’” “Oh, yeah.”

-- on having faith in the leader | Terry Pratchett, The Last Hero

#boy willie #truckle #the silver horde #the last hero #discworld #terry pratchett #quote

“I don’t like it,” said Old Vincent. “S’posing we win? What kind of song will the minstrels sing about people who invaded through a pipe?” “An echoey one,” said Boy Willie.

--Boy Willie is the Senior Wrangler of the Silver Horde | Terry Pratchett, Interesting Times

#the silver horde #old vincent #boy willie #interesting times #discworld #terry pratchett #quote

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