#boy-squid

[useyourwordsasher]

Me: we need to go to the garden if we're going to. A: yes. That is what I've been saying. Me: ...while playing war of the words on your phone. A: yes. Because I am waiting for you. Me: but now you are lying with your head on my belly. A: yes. Me: and petting my belly furs. A: correct. Me: but it is my fault we aren't gardening . A: because you keep parading around. Showing off your soft furry belly.

[useyourwordsasher]

"I mean, if cops can be counted on to do anything, it is--absolutely nothing, when confronted with a domestic disturbance complaint." "Yeah. They just show up. Wave their little cop wands. Get back in their little cop cars." "Drive away. Eat some donuts." "...I was gonna say, 'that's sorta racist.' Then I realized that 'cop' is not a race."

[useyourwordsasher]

Grad school correctly naming and gendering my boy-squid on the phone. Good job, grad school.

[useyourwordsasher]

Do you know what kind of squid I have? The kind of squid who will indulge my desire to bake vegan birthday cupcakes for a coworker, Buy the stuff, AND random fried chicken 'cause we are both hungry for meat after a day of gardening, Help me with all the cooking bits I don't like/am bad at, Then walk into the bedroom where I'm tumbling, And hand me the spoon to lick clean.

[useyourwordsasher]

Look, this is my boy-squid's Youtube! you should check it out :)

[useyourwordsasher]

"Can... Can you stop pulling on my beard hairs?" "I'm sorry... Sometimes I have impulses..."

[useyourwordsasher]

ALSO MY BOY-SQUID GOT A GRADUATE SCHOOL INTERVIEW!! HE IS GONNA BE A REAL LIVE GROWN-UP THERAPIST!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

[useyourwordsasher]

Boy-squid works frenetically in the garden for two hours.

Boy-squid collapses into bed with the intensity of an adolescent boy.

Boy-squid rouses briefly for hot chocolate and Tumblr, planning to nap some more.

Boy-squid sees a photo of donuts on Tumblr.

BOY-SQUID RISES FROM THE DEPTHS TO HUNT DONUTS.

DOOOOOONUUUUUUUUUTS