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HOW SOCIAL MEDIA AFFECTS YOU

Social media is both a curse and a blessing, a double-edged sword. The good news is, how you use it defines its advantage and disadvantage over your life—you decide. Social media has positive and negative effects in all aspects of our lives and has reshaped our world into one that is more connected. It has also become a power tool for companies and individuals who understand how to use it to reach more people and entice them to buy into the product and lifestyle that consumers see on their feed. “Social media gurus” and “influencers” are now top jobs that offer great rewards for those who can work the magic of their social media applications such as Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, to name a few. Are we now better off with these social platforms at hand, or, as an individual or a society, have we become worse? Let’s look at some of the positive and negative effects it has on our lives. Human Relationships Social media has a positive affect in our lives by easily connecting us with people no matter the place or time. When used with the best intentions, it can enrich your life and bring you closer to loved ones or people from your past. On the other side of the coin, it can also lead to people spending less time talking to the people they are with and more time looking at their phones. Real human connection may be lost since you aren’t talking to people anymore to know how they are doing; instead, you check online.

  Self-Esteem

Social media has reduced people’s worth into the number of likes, shares, and dislikes they receive. Other people’s approval, or disapproval, has now become a measurement of your worth as a person. “Facebook envy” is now even a real thing, so named by a study made by the University of Copenhagen. The study shows how many people develop feelings of self-doubt or jealously when scrolling through other people’s perfectly curated Facebook timeline or Instagram feed, while those who stay away from it feel more satisfied with their lives. Information    Connecting to social media gives you quick access to current events real time, but this does not mean that the information is true or accurate. Fake news is all over social media. Because of how easy it is to share to the world, one false article may be shared a thousand times over with no regulation, review, or fact-checking—and unsuspecting users will just fall for it hook, line, and sinker. We can’t deny its addictive nature, so we must remind ourselves daily to use it in moderation. If used in the right way, social media can greatly improve your life. When you use it too much or rely on it to define you or your life, it may end in tears. As with any moral conundrum, the choice of how much you’re using or not using social media is in your hands. Read the full article

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HOW FAR WILL YOU GO FOR AMBITION

Every ambition requires a price. Achieving what you desire in life may be possible, but be careful of the things—or the people—you need to sacrifice to get there—wherever that is. Webster defines ambition as a “desire to achieve a particular end.” Our ambitions may vary, but universally, we know that achieving what we desire the most needs hard work, perseverance, and sometimes, cunning. Some people spend all their lives devoted to their ambition. Take the most ambitious of athletes for example. They were probably born to fulfill a destiny, but it was not handed out to them on a silver platter. In fact, they work harder than most people to achieve that destiny, meeting failure from time to time, but keeping their eyes focused on their goal. The same is true for successful CEOs, innovators, and almost everyone who have reached the summit of their ambition. They did not get there on a helicopter ride, although now they can easily afford to get their own helicopter. Going up may have been different and an often difficult story because, no matter who you are, ambition comes with a hefty price. What it demands of you may be a little daily exercise, a consistent time with a coach, or going to school for a higher degree. Sometimes though, ambition needs cunning. There have been multitudes of ambitions achieved through betrayal, self-depreciation, lies. Many more may have been achieved through fraud, treachery and possibly the decay of moral values. We’re all familiar with the politician who set aside his principles for power. They’ve all heard of the woman or man who had to warm someone’s bed to get ahead in the board room or in the entertainment industry. There are officers of the armed forces who betray their own brothers in arms. The list goes on and on. No matter where on earth you are, these stories are marginally similar. These are stories of ambition that we frown upon, but they are as real as our own stories. Setting a goal is important, but there should also be time-lines and action plans, which will be your road map so you know where you are heading. It is important is to know what you are willing to do to achieve your desire or to achieve your ambition. You will be tempted to take shortcuts, but if it will set your moral compass haywire, will you do it? There are many get-rich-quick schemes, but if it involves lies, betrayal, or compromising your moral standards, would you stomach the means to your end? Some ambitions are equally demanding but of another very important commodity—time away from our loved ones. Some parents do not see their children anymore. Some are not able to give attention to their kids even when they are physically present. Needless to say, we must all make a living, lest we start begging on the streets. We need to make ends meet. We want to give our kids a chance at a bright future. All these things require money, and money translates to time. Hence, our time is devoted to making money and achieving the desired “good life“ for our family. In the meantime, we miss out on the daily moments that truly matter in life. We are physically drained so we are no longer emotionally available for our kids. Does this seem like the life we want to achieve? Perhaps we are looking so far into the future that we fail to experience the present. This is a sad reality. Ask yourself then what you are willing to do for success. Make a game plan and determine the things or people you are willing to sacrifice to accomplish your ambition. This is not a suggestion but is a must we all need to prepare before we set out for something because, again, ambition comes with a hefty price. Read the full article

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The Lies You Tell About Your Bank Account

If you can’t get your bills and budget down pat now that you are healthy and earning well, imagine how they will make you feel when you are old and without a source of income. It’s not going to be a pretty picture.  We have to face the truth that sometimes budget and common sense don’t always go together well. We keep on telling ourselves little white lies to justify why we bought that dress, why we splurged on the latest gadget, or why we deserve that fancy dinner. We convince ourselves that what we spend now you’ll make up for later on. We spend money but don’t have a clear plan where to cut back or how to earn it back. We always feel that we have enough time to save up for emergencies and retirement. We always feel that it’s okay not to have savings now or to invest right now. Most of time, we just don’t want to deal with money problems at all and just have faith that the next paycheck will be enough to tide us over, again, until the next one. Here are 4 of the top common lies we tell about money. 1. This is just a rough patch. There is always that one thing you have to pay for before you can start saving. This can be braces for your child, new furniture, car maintenance, or any other practical reason that we deem more important than saving up. What we need to remember is that life is full of unexpected turns and surprises, and that there will always be another “one last thing” you have to clear before you start saving. Don’t wait for that moment; it may never come. Save now. 2. I have plenty of time to prepare for the future. It seems to some that there is never a right age to start preparing for the future. We may say 20 or 30 is too young, and that we should take time to do all the things we want to do before we’re old. When you hit 40, it is not too late, but it will take much more diligence to save enough for retirement. Remember that the longer you delay, the harder it will be. 3. I deserve this treat. We all love to spoil ourselves. One bad day at work, one heartbreak, one disappointment, and you’ll feel it’s enough reason to splurge on yourself. That nice pair of shoes or that luxury bag may give you the happiness you need at that moment, but that happiness will be fleeting. Shoes will not secure your future, and that expensive lunch will not last you till the next month, so learn to say no to yourself, and yes to your future. 4. Bigger salary means bigger savings. If you don’t know how to save, no amount of salary will ever be enough. The key to financial stability is living within your means—not a bigger salary. The only way you can ensure your future is to stop lying to yourself and face the truth about how much you earn, how much you can spend, and how much you can set aside for your future. Read the full article

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Raising Children in Truth and Honesty

When you show your child what truth and honesty are, they learn better and faster. Indeed, it is true—the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. All parents must face the inevitable truth: kids lie. Parents have to face this truth and not be afraid of it. Much like adults, kids will always try to find a way to get out of trouble or to avoid any situation that they are uncomfortable with and they do this by telling a lie. What you have to remember is that this is a normal stage and you can guide your child through this important stage of their life. So what are the best ways to teach your child about honesty? Here are some inputs from experts: Model Honesty                 The best way to ensure that your kids value honesty is by being a good model of honesty. Be the parent who doesn’t take lying lightly, and your child will follow. Try to avoid giving mixed messages by lying about little things that you just don’t want to explain. For example: When a child asks for chocolate and you say, “I don’t have money,” and the child sees that you do have money but chose to say otherwise, they  may feel that it is okay to lie. Tell Positive Stories                 Telling short stories or fables, such as “George Washington and the Cherry Tree,” help promote honesty. Stories that promote positive consequences to telling the truth will be more effective in showing them that honesty is the best policy. While telling stories that talk about how lying is bad might still be a story about honesty, it may still be best to stay away from stories that highlight the negative consequences. Positive Reinforcement                 Children are more likely going to tell the truth when they know that truth-telling will have a positive outcome. Be sure not to reward any lies they tell to manipulate the situation and, more importantly, don’t punish children when they tell the truth. A conversation that discusses about why one thing is right or wrong is much better than any punishment. Discipline Calmly                 At one point, as parents, you may need to dole out punishment and discipline, however, harsh punishments do not necessarily ensure that the child will stop lying. It may prove more effective to discipline your child calmly and have a conversation, not a lecture. Letting them understand what they did was wrong will have more impact on them and will give clear guidelines on what is morally right or wrong. At the end of the day, the surest way to raise children in truth and honesty is by living in truth and honesty yourself. Read the full article

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White Lies: Positive or Negative

When pressed for the truth, would you take the easy way out if you know the truth will hurt? What does your moral compass say about little white lies? We’ve all heard and said a white lie before, even the most honest of us. Whether it is about someone’s appearance, our relationships, or issues of national importance, all white lies are the same—they are lies made in order to diminish the effects of the truth. In this regard, would you consider white lies acceptable? Think of a girl or a woman struggling with self-esteem and weight issues. What do you say when asked about her appearance? Most would take the easy way out and make a white lie perhaps by softening the truth or completely avoiding the truth. It may seem harmless and even helpful to someone’s self-esteem, but the truth in this case is more liberating. Why not empower that girl or woman instead of making a white lie? Because the truth is, whatever her size, it’s who she is that matters. In relationships, men and women alike sometimes omit a bit of information or two to avoid fights or conflicts, but even the smallest things matter in relationships. In fact, it’s the small things that matter the most because these are the things that make people who they are, and if there isn’t complete acceptance, what’s the relationship for? For example, many women find shopping therapeutic and irresistible. Some men are accepting of this, and there are those who aren’t. If you are with someone who’d rather you don’t spend your hard-earned money on shopping sprees, instead of lying about what’s in your paper bag or the price of such and such that you bought, why not face the truth—Isn’t too much of something bad enough? Sometimes avoiding conflicts means avoiding real issues. The real issue here is too much spending and one partner who is unhappy about it. Issues like this don’t go away over time. In fact, they grow out of proportion and sometimes cause other issues. White lies then are more harmful in such scenarios. This may sound like a hasty generalization, but every person in power has exhausted this line: “What they don’t know won’t hurt them.” Indeed, it is true. But a public servant or a leader caught lying will lose credibility, and what is a leader without credibility? According to Psychology Today, white lies come from a sense of compassion. We don’t want to hurt or embarrass others, we don’t want to fight, we don’t want to worry others. White lies are not meant to deceive; however, when you have to keep on lying in order to sustain the little white lie, the lie might just spiral out of control. Before you know it, you’ve built something entirely out of lies. Before lying then—no matter how small the lie—use your judgment well and make sure you are prepared for the consequences of your actions. Every action has an opposite reaction—even the tiniest white lie. Read the full article

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Truth, a Prisoner of Man's Wishful Thinking

Man, at times, holds truth as a prisoner for a crime it never committed. These men are often the people who fight fiercely for justice yet imprison a significant truth inside them. Unfortunately, this irony has endured through time and has continued to stand as an impediment to the justice system. What good does it bring us to take truth as a prisoner of man? And why are people fond of imprisoning the truth? As we grow, we come to sights that do not bring us satisfaction. As a result, the desire to alter the things we cannot grows inside us. A first attempt at keeping the truth from those who concern it pushes us to the realization that we have the power to create another version of reality. Power, as we know it, is like a drug – highly addictive; And like drugs, detrimental to our well-being. By exercising this power, blindness gathers around the periphery until we are fully consumed by it. Little do we realize that imprisoning the truth also harms us: The conscience suffers and the inner peace, disturbed. Also, this suffering does not end until we set the truth free. Therefore, if you wish to become a proficient liar, you have to be loyal to the lies you made; you have to endure the suffering of your conscience. To prevent this suffering, we have to accept the fate of all things. Oftentimes, our wishful thinking breeds to the desire to change the truth. Take things as they are and don’t let your wishful thinking take over you. The beauty of truth is only in grave danger if eager men surround it. Instead of appreciating its beauty, this eagerness drives them to the point of madness they want to own the truth and hold it as a prisoner of their own. They refuse to share it with the world and would create walls of lies to guard it. Let us appreciate the beauty of truth without wanting to possess or without wanting to change any aspects of it. Read the full article

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Truth or Lie - Which Hurts More?

One of life’s brutal games is the game of truth or lie. When truths are “unpleasant” and we have no power to change it, the urge to lie intensifies. If caught in the situation where people ask you for the truth, what would you give them, the truth or lie? Which do you think would hurt more? When we were young, one of our greatest fears was telling our parents an unpleasant truth. For example, a teacher gave us a failing grade. On the way home, panic makes us wonder how painful mom’s disciplinary action would be. The thought of the impending danger invites the temptation to lie. However, our better judgment tells us otherwise. More often than not, the better judgment wins and we live to suffer mom or dad’s wrathful, disciplinary actions. Sometimes, the fear of the impending pain overwhelms us that we end up lying. When it’s the latter, the conscience suffers and we find ourselves in a disturbed state. As the burden grows too heavy for our heart, the already expired truth would demand release and therefore the pain doubles. Not only do we suffer from the physical pain but also from the internal pain for bearing the burden for too long (which is more painful). Well, that is if your parents hit you. As we grow old, we come to sights that are more unpleasant than failing grades that also comes with graver consequences. Choosing between telling the truth and lying can be emotionally and mentally exhausting. If the truth is unpleasant to us, our mind goes through possibility A to Z. Fear makes grand of what is insignificant. With a clouded mind, we often resort to lying because we think it lightens up the situation. Resorting to lying may indeed lighten the mood, however, lies can only keep the truth for so long. When the truth — now overdue — emerges, the possibilities you imagine may just come to life. It is fear that makes the truth unpleasant. Truths carry with them lessons that will help us significantly in life. We often perceive them as storms with devastating impacts. However, these so-called storms wash our perspective anew and make us appreciate life more. Truth is beautiful. It may just take some time for us to see its beauty unravel. Have you read my article about The Philosophy of Truth? Read the full article

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The Philosophy of Truth

Dissecting the truth is a laborious task that may result in man’s changed perception of the truth. Hence, conflict may arise until a person or a group comes up with a logical argument about the truth. And how do we do that? Through the methods of Science, of course. However, the philosophy of truth is too complicated a matter that even the Scientific method won’t suffice. The ways of Science goes like this: propose a question; come up with possible answers (hypotheses); test the hypotheses; repeat the experiment many times; and, take note of the results. From this, the answer emerges and the hypotheses are declared as either true or false (right or wrong). However, a philosopher’s view of truth differs greatly. To philosophers, there are instances in which the Scientific method falters. In philosophy, the truth comes in various versions. Some people’s truths are confined to their beliefs, others to their pride. Religion and culture affect our perception of certain matters. Also, selfishness, pride, and insecurities often drive a man to create his versions of the truth. Both, however, do not affect the real truth. These influence only affect man’s perception of the truth. Moreover, man’s thirst for knowledge often leads him to discoveries that contradicts what has been declared as truth. A good example of this is the Geocentricism which indicated that the Earth was the center of the universe. It wasn’t until later knowledge, paired with technological developments, did Copernicus discovered that the Sun was the center of the Solar System and that there are planets revolving around it, including Earth. This is one of the most difficult things about truth: the truth we carry now may not be tomorrow’s truth. Such a thought leads us to contemplate if we have ever really grasp on the real truth. Science has helped us debunk many truths of the past. Even theories of truth such as correspondence theory and coherence theory of truth have their loopholes. Given that there are many theories which govern the truth, it only goes to show how determining the real truth is an existential challenge. The truth may not be as deep nor as shallow as we assume it to be, but perhaps we have stumbled over it and allowed the human mind to make something out of it. It could also be that our growing doubt for precision and exactness’ sake has caused us to miss the truth. “Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened.” Winston Churchill Have you read my article about Is there Comfort in Lies? Read the full article