Boy #4: The saga
Boy #4 was a real doozy. Sometimes you can't explain why things went a certain way, and no amount of over thinking can help you understand how you could've done things differently or gotten a better result. We live, we laugh, we love, we get angry, we blog.
So this boy, I'd been talking to for a while. One thing he certainly had going for him was that he was a good texter. You know, the kind of person that more often than not replies straight away and helps keep the conversation flowing. And someone who was happy to text nearly every day just to see how things were and discuss the day. Some of you may shudder at the thought of someone like this, but I welcome it. You really don't understand how bored I can get and how much free time I sometimes have.
So I was talking to boy #4 in the midst of a very busy time of the year where I didn't really have any free time to see people, even my friends and family. So he was pretty keen to hang out, and even asked me to come over to his place one Saturday night. But like I said, I was super busy and there was no way I could justify taking the time out to see someone. He took this alright though, and we continued to text.
Fast forward to the day after boy #3.
It was a pretty quiet day for me. Did some housework and caught up on things, and then went into the city that night to see a show. Headed home after that and got a text from boy #4, seeing what I was up to the night. Well, I planned on getting a earlyish night, because the next day my housemate and I had planned to go away for the week.
Boy #4 had other plans.
He did the whole spiel of saying 'oh yeah, let me know if you're bored, you should come over'. I was umming and ahhing about this. I really enjoyed talking to him, but he lived a 40 minute drive away from me, across the city and through toll roads. Did I really want to go all this way to see him?
Turns out I did.
So I bit the bullet and ventured out around 12:30am to drive to his place to watch a movie and hang out.
Cause don't you know that's the perfect time to do that? Nothing suss.
Arrived at his place and it actually started out alright. Did the semi-awkward introduction with his housemates before we chose a movie and settled on the couch with a glass of wine to watch. About halfway through he asked for me to pass him the blanket, I think we all know where this leads to.
Bingo. Making out on the couch. Which leads to moving to his bedroom. Which leads to sex. At least in this case.
So since I'd had a couple of glasses of wine, I ended up staying the night. Which was actually nice. Some chatting, some spooning, some more having sex. I thought it went quite well, as far as Tinder encounters were concerned.
So then I had to leave earlyish the next morning so I could get ready to leave with my housemate. We were going to be gone for the week, so I wasn't going to have a chance to see boy #4 again until possibly after I got back, But we texted a bit while I was away and things seemed alright. At that stage, he was the only guy that I'd continued to speak to after we had sex. Talk about miracles!
I decided I kind of liked boy #4 and wouldn't mind seeing him again. So after a week of texting back and forth, I suggested we catch up for a coffee or something. He was free on the upcoming Wednesday so I suggested going to see an exhibition that was on. He seemed keen for this, so it was a date.
You'll understand very quickly why I refer to this as the saga.
The night before the date I texted him to check that we were still on and to see what time he wanted to meet, I got a text back saying that he was really sorry but he needed to go into work early the next day to help out, and wasn't going to be able to meet me, raincheck? I gave him the benefit of the doubt and agreed. How about Thursday instead? Sure, got a meeting in the morning, but we can meet after that.
No problem, right?
Problem.
Texted him Thursday morning to once again see when and where he wanted to meet. Got a reply with the following:
Hey there! So I just woke up in a spare room in northcote! Our drinks escalated last night! Might have to raincheck again sorry! I am struggling
Beware the man with many exclamation marks. Not everything needs to look like it's being shouted!
I maintain that my reaction was justified given that he'd cancelled plan twice in a row, and two days in a row. So far, I was the only one putting effort in here.
Okay, well I'm not sure if I have any other free time this week. I'll leave it up to you.
Cease communication.
As far as I'm concerned, I'd put the ball squarely in his court to pursue something with me if he was truly interested.
And there was my answer. In the form of no more texts from him. And eventual unfriending on Facebook.
It wasn't even that I was after a relationship with this guy. I really just wanted to catch up again and see if we could be friends. Maybe more. Maybe not. No expectations whatsoever.
Instead, I've learnt that he was a coward (and actually, most boys are too). I would've been perfectly okay for him to say that he really wasn't that interested and didn't think it was a good idea to hang out. Honesty, I can respect. At least then you know where you stand.
This. This is just shitty.
But it taught me a valuable lesson. No matter how nice a guy seems, and how good it seems to be going, don't get your hopes up.
Not to say that you shouldn't be engaged and let things develop.
Just be aware that even 'nice guys' can be dicks. And they sometimes deserve to finish last.