I rolled onto my side and let out a soft sigh. I was still tired from last night but I told myself I'd get up and make her breakfast in the morning. She deserves it. She's been working so damn hard lately and today was the first day in a while where she didn't have to do anything. She could just lay around and do nothing. I wanted it to be perfect.
I finally let my still heavy eyes flutter open and looked at her. I couldn't help the small smile that crept onto my lips every time I looked at her. She was so beautiful. Even in her sleep, when her hair was a mess and the blankets are all wrapped around her, she's still the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.
I leaned over and pressed my lips softly to her forehead before shuffling out from under the covers. I grabbed my jeans from the floor and pulled them on. I didn't bother with a shirt and went right downstairs.
I glanced at the clock on the stove and saw it was almost 9:am. "Better get a move on, Styles" I mumbled to myself, walking over to the fridge. I pulled out some eggs and other ingredients for pancakes, sitting everything on the table. I grabbed a bowl from the cabinet and started my task of getting everything measured and mixed together.
When the batter was ready I heated up a pan before pouring the batter into it and watching it closely so it didn't burn. The last thing I wanted was to give (Y/N) burnt pancakes.
I was so into my task of making breakfast that I didn't even know she was awake until I felt her arms wrap around my waist. "Good morning" she mumbled, her voice soft and laced with sleep. I smiled and glanced at her over my shoulder, "Good morning, darling" She stood on her tip toes and kissed my cheek, "Making breakfast, huh?"
"Mhm" I responded, taking the last pancake from the pan and laying it on a plate. She smiled and went over to the table, sitting down and leaning her elbows on it, watching me grab the plates from the counter and bring them over to the table. "You should have woken me up to help you" she said, pulling her plate closer to her. I smiled and sat next to her, "The point was not to wake you"
She scrunched her nose and looked at me, "Didn't want my help? Do you think I'm a lousy cook?" I smiled, "I wanted you to sleep until you were ready to wake up. I decided to make you breakfast because you've been working hard lately and I want you to have a nice day off. What better to start a nice day than a good breakfast?"
She smiled and tilted her head to the side a little, "How are you so perfect?" I shrugged, "I don't think I'm perfect but, I'll take that" She giggled lightly, "I love you, Harry" I leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to her lips, "I love you too, (Y/N). Now, eat your pancakes and we'll spend the rest of the day watching movies and being bums" She smiled and grabbed her fork, flashing me a quick smile, "Sounds fantastic"
She was exhausted, I could see that. Kate liked to pretend she wasn't, but the dreary droop of her eyelids told me otherwise. I had told her to take it easy, but she hadn't listened.
"Where should I take you? " I asked. I looked over at her in the passenger seat and saw her smile weakly.
"Anywhere."
I knew just the place.
We pulled up to the gate and I punched in the code. Soon we were parked and I got out and walked over to her door. She took off her seatbelt, and even though I wanted to carry her out and up to my place, I knew she wouldn't let me. So instead I let her use my arm to steady herself.
"Where are we?"
I answered honestly. "My flat."
She raised an eyebrow at me, concerned. I know she hated being taken care of, and she rarely needed it anyway, but I just couldn't leave her alone in her empty apartment. I had to be sure she would be okay.
"Why didn't you just drop me off at my place? I would have been okay."
I could feel my heartbeat in the bottom of my feet. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and wracked up all the courage I could muster.
"Kate, I couldn't leave you alone like that. You've gone through hell tonight and no one should suffer alone." She looked as if she was about to protest but I stopped her.
"Please, Katie. You don't have to be in control all the time. Let me help you."
She paused and considered what I had said.
"Okay." She resigned herself and leaned a little more into me to put some of her weight on me. I smiled. She was rather cute when she didn't get her way.
I led her up to my flat and took a deep breath when I opened the door.
"Well, here it is. I'll get the room ready for you."
"It's nice," she said. "I love this!" She pointed to an art piece I had bought a few months back. It matched the room's vibe rather well, that was the real reason I bought it. But I was glad she liked it. I needed a distraction from the constant flittering of my heart.
"Are you okay with staying in my room? I'll be out on the couch."
"Sure." She flopped onto the couch and I took that as my cue to clean up.
It didn’t take long for me to pick up my dirty clothes from the floor in my room and make my living space actually presentable and inhabitable. When I got back out to the sitting room, Kate was fighting sleep.
“I think you’ll be more comfortable in my room.” She looked up at me and nodded, standing slowly.
She followed behind me quietly. When we got to my room, she took her shoes off and collapsed into the mattress. She dug herself further into the bed and brought the blankets up and over her, cocooning herself.
“Thank you, Harry, for bringing me here. I can’t thank you enough.”
As if I would have done anything else.
"Are you comfortable?" She looked perfect with the covers tucked up to her chin.
She looked up at me with those pretty green eyes and said, "Yeah." The awkward, tangible tension between us was driving me mad.
"Are you sure?"
She looked down at her hands. "Welllll," she dragged out the word.
"Anything, you got it."
"Can I have a glass of water please?" She smiled shyly.
I retrieved it as fast as I could and brought it to her at the bed. Figuring she would want to be alone now, I turned and walked away.
"Wait," she called out to me just before I reached the door. I turned to face her and gave her what I hoped was my kindest smile. She returned it. Never in my life had I wanted to kiss a girl more than I did now. But I couldn't.
"Stay. Please. Don't leave me." Her huge eyes begged me for company. Little did she know how much she didn't even have to ask.
"Of course." I took a seat on the floor as there was nowhere to sit besides the bed.
She watched me for a few moments before frowning. "What're you doing down there?"
"What do you mean?"
She looked uncomfortable and I almost regretted asking her. Hesitantly, she said, "you don't have to sit down there. You can, you know-" I wasn't sure whether it was shyness, fear, or pride that was keeping her from saying what she wanted, but I ignored it and let her finish. I stood up as she paused.
Then, in the quietest tone I had ever heard from her, she said it. "You can sit with me." She was like a little girl on her first day of school, not wanting to share her toys with the stupid, annoying, and gross boys. Hell, I was still stupid, annoying, and gross.
I wanted to sit with her and comfort her for as long as she needed, but I couldn't presume that she did. So I mirrored her hesitation and moved slowly toward the bed. I kicked my shoes off by my nightstand and pulled back the covers. The room around us was stiff with unspoken desire - mine to kiss her, comfort her, and love her in the simplest sense of the word - hers to escape it all and retreat into a better place where she was surrounded by friends and people who loved her. Some place where she wouldn’t feel so alone.
As soon as I got under the covers, I was surprised when Kate immediately grabbed my hand and dropped her face onto my shoulder in hysterics. She burst out into sobs, and she was done. Done with fighting her inner demons, done with putting up with the useless bullshit surrounding her, done with it all. I didn't think I could say anything that would make her feel better, so I simply began rubbing her back and holding her head in my hand. "Shhhh," I whispered. "You'll be ok, Katie. Just let it out."
God, she was wrecked. In this moment of extreme vulnerability, I realized she may never feel the same way about me as I was feeling about her. Shit. Sometimes I felt incredibly blessed that I had run into Kate that day in the park. It had been a moment of fate, I was almost sure of it. Why else would God or whoever created the world introduce me to such an incredible, beautiful, sweet girl for us not to be together? I hadn't even kissed her yet, but here I was imagining so many possibilities of our lives intertwined.
As she cried, I did my best to comfort her with shushes and brushes of her soft blonde hair in my hands. Right now, I had to be her friend and comforter, not the boy who was falling crazy in love with her.
Her sobs subsided and her breathing steadied. I stopped touching her hair. I thought of kissing the top of her head but I didn't want to cross any lines she had put up between us in her head.
Suddenly I heard her mumble something into my shoulder. "Ee oh-in." All I heard were vowels.
"What, Katie?"
She lifted her head.
"Keep going." She took a deep breath. "That felt nice."
I felt it again, the heartbeat in my feet. The anxious feeling of unreciprocated emotions. Here she was giving me permission to touch her, yet I was too afraid to so much as look at her.
In my struggle to allow myself to touch her, she spoke again. "Please. I need you." Tears were forming again.
No, no, no, no, no, no. Kate was completely wrong. She didn't need me at all. Maybe in this temporary moment of trauma and fear she needed comfort and love. But she could get that from anyone. Skye was her best friend, I was just a useless prick using her emotional state to get on her good side. Wasn't I? No, really, couldn't she see I was the one who desperately needed her?
She let out a deep breath and so did I, quietly. I resolved myself to give Kate what she wanted. This inner debate I was having would have to wait. I wasn't about to see or hear Kate cry again. So I started the gentle caresses of her hair again. Immediately, all the tension in her body eased. She relaxed into me and bundled her left hand into a fist on my chest, her right side completely on me. I shushed her some more and focused all I could on making her happy.
After a few minutes of sitting in silence, with me savoring the moment, I heard her ask, "Harry?"
"Yes, Kate?"
"Can you sing something for me, please?"
I smiled. This would be a nice distraction.
"What would you like me to sing?"
"Something sweet. I'm not picky."
I had to think for a second. I knew plenty of sweet songs, but which one should I choose in this moment?
"Anything, Harry, really. I just want to hear your voice."
There was only one option, in my mind. Her favorite song.
“Settle down with me/Cover me up/Cuddle me in/Lie down with me/And hold me in your arms,” I began to sing.
“That’s perfect.” She settled into me further, her ear right over my heart. Fantastic. Just what I wanted, Kate to hear my heart pounding.
I continued the song, reveling in every word. It was all I could do to remind myself to breathe and not freak out Kate with my rapid heartbeat. The farther into the song I got, the more I felt Kate fall into peaceful slumber, and the more my heart calmed.
When I finished singing, I wasn't sure what to do. Check if she was still awake? Sing another song? Get out of the bed and leave her to be alone and sleep? Oh, the dilemma.
"Kate?" I whispered. Nothing. "Are you awake?" Nothing. So she was asleep.
She looked so pretty while she was sleeping. Peaceful, free, satisfied. The little strands of hair around her face framed it perfectly. She was like a world-class masterpiece painting, beautiful to the eye, impossible to touch. I wondered what she was dreaming about. Hopefully they were good dreams.
So I sat alone, just me and my thoughts, too many of which were occupied by her. I wanted to tell her everything, how there was a sparkle in her eye when she talked about her family, how sexy she was when she talked about her school stuff, and how she looked most beautiful in moments like this. Moments of purity and simplicity. Moments where I could forget everything going on in my life and just love her, secretly.
I wanted to tell her everything, so I did. I was terrified she would wake up and make fun of me, or worse, leave because she felt uncomfortable around me. But I had to say it, so I took a deep breath and began to whisper.
"Kate, I love you." There, I had said it. But there was more. I felt like a shaken soda can about to burst and bubble over. "And I don't mean platonically. I am 110% undeniably in love with you."
She continued snoozing.
"Everything about you has got me so worked up. I go to sleep at night, I wake up in the morning, I think about you. The littlest things remind me of you. I drive by Zizzi’s, and I think of that time we spent three hours in there eating and talking about nothing. I hear any song by Ed, I want to call you up and tell you cuz I know you’ll just love it.”
I paused to breathe. I had to laugh. Here I was pouring my heart out to her, and she wasn’t even listening. No one was. What a waste of time. I sounded like a blubbering idiot. I wasn’t sure what else to say.
“I can’t imagine you feel the same way, Katie. Why should you? I have nothing to offer you. Every time we go out in public, you get harassed and blinded by camera lights. I’m going to be on tour so often now we won’t ever see each other. The rumors that surround me and every girl I’m ever seen with must annoy you. You don’t care about my money. I’ve tried so hard to make you happy, because that’s all I want. Your happiness is my happiness. And I know that sounds cheesy and cliched, but it’s true. You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever known, and I don’t care about anything but you."
She was still deep in slumber. But I was finished. I'd said all I could think to say. Fucking words. They're so useless when you need them most. Conflict raged in me so thoroughly. I took a deep breath and decided to go for it. I kissed the top of her head and whispered it again.
"I love you, Kate."
By now, the blanket had fallen off her shoulders and was down to her waist. I pulled it up to where her shoulder and my chest met. Perfect. Nothing to disturb her now while she slept. The question now was whether or not I could get my anxious brain to sleep. I closed my eyes and started thinking of what it would be like to kiss her. I wanted to think of more, so much, but I couldn't. Not after what had happened tonight. So I just thought of how sweet her lips would taste, how soft her hair would feel between my fingers, and how good she would smell. A smile crept over my face as I drifted off, my arm wrapped around Kate's waist, her head and hand still relaxed against my chest.
A/N: This is inspired after the song ‘Leaves in the River’ by Sea Wolf. Here’s a link to the song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7JiBLBOP6II I recommend you listen to it before you start reading, and then listen to it while you are reading. Thank you and enjoy. x
I was not in the mood for a Halloween party. But, having been dragged here by an already tipsy Niall, I had to stay. He was piss drunk now, and talking to a girl across the room who looked just as drunk. I’m not going to lie, I've had a couple drinks, but not enough to get me as drunk as Niall was. He was dressed as a pirate, while I was dressed as a cowboy. The party was a costume only party and this was all I managed to put together. It was simply a red flannel shirt, my usual skinny jeans, dark brown cowboy boots, a toy gun, and a cowboy hat to match.
I got up and walked over to Niall, wanting to leave.
“Howdy, partner!” He and the girl giggled, mocking my costume.
I pretended to laugh in return. “Look, I want to leave.” I said, breaking the laughter.
“Leave? What do you mean leave? The party is just starting!”
“Niall, just give me your car keys and I’ll drive us home.”
“And what are you going to do if I don’t? Shoot me with your toy gun?” This caused him and the girl to erupt in a loud laughter.
I rolled my eyes. “Whatever. I’m walking home. Happy Halloween.”
“Happy Halloween, mate!” Niall shouted after me as I walked away and towards the front door.
As soon as I stepped outside, I noticed how cold it was. It chilly and the wind was blowing, meaning that it’s going to rain soon. I looked up and clouds crowded the night sky along with the stars and moon.
“Great.” I sarcastically muttered to myself.
I walked down the front path. It led from the door to the sidewalk, like usual. The path was long though and once I got to the end, I noticed a girl sitting down and crying on the sidewalk.
Should I walk away, or should I help?
My kindness got the best of me, so I decided to help.
I walked over to the cement where she was sitting. The girl was looking down and crying, hands folded in her lap. Not hysterically crying, but just small sobs.
“Are you alright, ma’am?” I asked, wondering why she was crying.
She looked up and I was met by wide, teary eyes. “No, I’m not okay.”
“Well is it anything I could help with?”
“I’m not going to ask you to help me, I don’t even know you.” She sniffled and wiped her eyes with her hands.
“Just because you don’t know somebody, doesn’t mean you can’t be nice to them. It costs nothing to be nice.”
She sighed, “I’m lost. My friend left the party with some guy and I’m not used to the London area.” I realised she had an American accent.
“Well, I’m assuming you at least know your address.”
“Of course I know my address! I’m lost, not dumb!”
“Calm down. Just tell me your address and I’ll walk you home.”
“Tell me your name, first.”
“I’m Harry.” I said proudly, reaching my hand down for her to shake.
She shook it and told me her address.
“That’s actually only 4 blocks away from my house.” I told her, assuring her that I knew my way.
She stood up and I took in her appearance. She was wearing a light purple dress that stopped mid-thigh. She had on fairy wings and was carrying a wand. Her shoes were flats, the same color as her dress. Her hair looked soft and was in waves. She had rosy cheeks and I could tell that she wasn’t wearing a lot of makeup. Her eyes stared back at mine and had a certain shine to them. Altogether, she was beautiful.
“Are you going to continue staring at me or are we going to go?” She said, breaking me out of my stare.
“Oh,” I blushed, having been caught, “sorry.”
I turned and started walking, and she followed close behind. Just then, it started to rain.
“Seriously?!” The girl squealed with frustration. I realised that I had yet to learn her name.
I stopped and turned around, looking her straight in the eye. “You didn’t tell me your name.”
“It’s (Y/N).”
“I like it. It suits you.”
She blushed and looked down. “Thanks, but can we continue walking now? I don’t like standing in the rain.”
“Sure.” I turned around and started walking. I soon noticed that every house had its lights out. I looked at my watch and read the time. 12:31. By this time, everybody would be in their beds and alone with their dreams. I would be too, if Niall hadn’t dragged me out to that party. I could never say no to that Irish boy.
The rain soon stopped. The wind started to pick up a little, blowing leaves off the trees and through the streets.
I turned to (Y/N), who was walking next to me. “How far do you think leaves go?” I asked, trying to break the silence that had begun to settle. I didn’t like silence.
“What do you mean?” She replied, turning to look at me. I’m never going to get used to her eyes. They’re so shiny, like a diamond.
“I mean, where do they go? Do they rest in people’s yards, or make it to the city? Or do they end up in rivers, just to float away?”
She shrugged, “I’ll have to think about that one, Harry.” It was the first time she said my name, and it sounded so perfect coming from her mouth.
We continued walking in silence. It wasn’t awkward silence, though. It was the kind of comforting silence I silence that you could think clearly in.
“Can we stop for a while? I’m tired.” She asked, I could hear the tiredness in her voice.
“Yeah,” I said as I sat down on the sidewalk. She sat down next to me.
“I grew up there,” she said as she pointed to a small brick house. The bricks were a light yellow. The front door was white. There was a small garden that circled around the house. It was filled with pink flowers. It was a cute house, in my opinion.
“If you grew up there, why do you have an American accent?” I questioned.
“When I was 10, my family moved to America. My dad had gotten a promotion there. I lived there until I was 18. In that time, my accent slowly turned into an American one. I moved back here a year ago for college. My friend and I live in a cute, little house. It’s quite exciting.”
“She doesn’t seem like much of a friend if she ditched you for some guy.”
Before she responded, it started to rain again.
“Ugh!” She screamed, obviously frustrated with the rain. She brought her knees to her chest and started shivering.
I scooted closer and slung my arm around her shoulder, “Cold, aren’t we?”
She sighed, “Yes.” She pulled out her phone and to check her text messages.
I took this time to stare at her some more. Her brows furrowed together in concentration as she read and replied to text messages. Her hair was getting wet from the rain, and every few minutes she would stop to wipe off her phone screen.
Water started to run from the back of her neck and onto my arm. I didn’t mind though, as long as she was close to me and I was touching her. For some reason, I felt a connection to her. It wasn’t love at first sight or anything, just a small connection; but it was there.
“Can you get your arm off of me?” She asked, looking at me with an annoyed look.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I was just trying to keep you warm.” I stated, embarrassed. I took my arm off of her.
“And stop looking at me like that. Like you love me or something. I barely even know you.”
I took offense to what she had just said. I brushed it off though. “Do you always talk like that? All snotty and rude?”
“It only happens when I drink.” She said to me as she looked down to hide her blush. But I could still see it.
I sighed. “Well, we should get going. We need to get home before the rain gets worse.” Then, as if on cue, the rain stopped.
We both stood up and looked up at the clouds. There were little to none now.
“I guess we should start walking again.”
I nodded and started walking. We soon started talking about everything. Our favorites books and movies, what kind of music we hate, where we liked to be kissed, our school years, families, friends, anything and everything. Until finally, I felt her small hand seek mine. Her hand was small, but it was warm and soft. She entwined her fingers with mine and looked down as she blushed. I grabbed her chin and faced her to look me in the eyes.
“Stop look away when you blush. I think it’s cute.” I told her, with a smile.
She smiled and started to blush and even brighter.
I don’t know what came over me, but I felt the need to kiss her. I started to lean down and close my eyes. But when her lips didn’t meet mine, I opened my eyes and pulled away, embarrassed.
“I’m sorry. Don’t be embarrassed.”
“Too late,” I muttered.
“Look, I pinky promise I’ll kiss you as soon as we get to my house, okay?” She held up her pinky and waited for me to hold up mine.
I held mine up and agreed, “Okay, pinky promise.” We locked pinkies and then giggled at our childish ways. After unlocking pinkies, we started walking and talking again.
“Why don’t you just stay at my house?” She asked when we were only down the street. “I don’t want to make you walk any more than you already have.”
“Alright, but can we sleep in the same bed?” I asked, pouting my lip out.
“You’re so needy.” She rolled her eyes and laughed at me.
I laughed with her until I spoke up, “So, how about that kiss now?”
She stopped laughing and looked me in the eye. “Of course, you earned it.”
She stopped walking and so did I. We both turned to each and closed our eyes. As I leaned down to kiss her, I put my hand on her waist. She put her small hands on my shoulders and met her lips with mine.
And I swear, there were fireworks.It started to rain again, causing us to pull away from the kiss.
“Seriously?!” I exclaimed, annoyed with the rain.
“C’mon, there will be more kisses, I promise. Now, last one home is a rotten egg!” (Y/N) exclaimed. She ran ahead and then stopped and turned to me. She closed her eyes and put her hands up, letting the rain fall on her. She began to laugh a laugh that was so happy and loud. It echoed through the empty streets as I ran to catch up with her.
Thank you, Niall, for dragging me out to that party.
A few months ago, I started having an affair with a woman. She had recently become one of my neighbors. She was also one of my highschool friends. We were together all throughout highschool and were meant to get married and spend the rest of our lives together, until I met her.
"Her" is referred to as (Y/N). She was the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. She completely swoop me off my feet. She was very unique as well. Everything she did was just so...different. The way she walked. The way she talked. The way she laughed. It wasn't like any ordinary girl. That's why I wanted her to be mines.
And she did eventually. We got married, a few months before I started to have the affair I was having. (Y/N) was real busy working, and we barely saw each other. As a man, a very needy man, I needed her to be there to fufill my...needs, I guess you could say. Since she wasn't around, I found someone else to do what I needed her to do. And for that, I feel like that most selfish and stupid man alive.
Today, I brought my neighbor over to our home. And of course, kharma bites back like a bitch. Right in the middle of our anticts, (Y/N) came home.
"Harry! Are you fucking serious right now?!" I remember hearing her angry, yet sad, tearful voice yell at me. Tears daring to slip out of her eyes. Her broken-hearted face. The way her lip trembled. The way she clenched her fists. It haunts me like a nightmare.
"B-baby please, j-just let me e-explain." I could barely get my words out. I chased her down the stairs, finally reaching her wrist as we reached the bottom.
"What is there to explain Harold?! You were cheating on me! How could you?! I thought you fucking loved me!"
"I do love you ba--"
"NO YOU DON'T!" She slammed her fists on the counter, crying uncontrollably now.
"(Y/N) please, I'm sor--"
"Shut the fuck up, you're not sorry!"
"Yes I am! God dammit, listen to me!"
"For what?! So you could come up with some god damn excuse for what I just saw?! You were fucking another girl Harry, there is no excuse for that!"
"Baby, please listen." I grabbed her hands, seeing her calm down. She shook her head, tears rolling down her chin.
"I need to leave."
"No, please don't leave me."
"Let me go Harry." She started to pry herself from my grip, but I just held on tighter.
"(Y/N) please, I love you. Just let me explain."
"I don't wanna talk to you."
"Bab--"
"LET ME GO!" She finally let herself free from my grip and stormed out the house.
"Fuck!" I yelled, kicking objects around, not caring if they cracked or anything.
Now here I am, sitting in the corner of my kitchen, my knees to my chest, crying up a storm. Geez Harold, how the hell did you get this messed up? You had everything. And now she's off somewhere, and I don't even know if she's coming back. I kept rocking myself back and forth.
"I need you now." I muttered to myself, as if she would here. But almost as if she did, the front door opened, and there she stood.
Random Idea. I was actually going to write another story line but this popped up. Hopefully it isn't a little over cause I don't think this story is as sweet tho.. Erm, so, here goes.
Some people just prefer running away and avoiding their problems. Some people won’t ever face it until it is pushed to them; Some people still won’t face it although it slapped them hard on the face. It was tough.
When I met him, it was like in fairy tales, our eyes sparkled at our first eye-contact. I was just a part-time waitress and he was a talented yet popular young lad. I knew he wouldn’t fall for a girl like me but I was wrong. He continuously flirted with me although I’m at work. My boss was wary of my actions as he is a 'big customer'. He was there with 4 of his friends. I could see them knock elbows and whispered around as I serve then their food. Somehow, he ended up with my number and we went out for dates.
I know I should have known better than to be his girlfriend but his attempts of asking me out and the pressure his fans give to me pained me. I had to go. I had rejected him the first time of his invite because since the day I waited for him, my twitter mentions blew up. I was being call from bimbo to slut. I ignored at first but then when they realized of my rejection, they begged me. I was confused. Everything was confusing but then, I made that choice that made everything change.
*3 months later*
“I love you too, Nialler.” The sincerity in my was voice obvious. He smiled and gave me a little peck on my lips. “It’s the first time you said it back to me babe.” His expression was fill of glee and pleasure. His grip on my neck tightened as our embrace became more intimate. My arms wrapped around his waist as my head snuggled into his neck. “I really do love you, you’re my everything.” I spoke out of silence. He knew I never had let my heart out on risk before. So, he is the first. “I won’t ever hurt you y/n, I won’t let anyone hurt you, I will be your knight in shining armor my princess. I will fight for you till the very end.” I feel alive when I’m with him, I feel free, I feel I am me, I feel loved.
*5 months later*
He knew it! He knew it all along! He should’ve spoken. He promised. He promised to love and fight for me. I couldn’t hold it much longer. I started to smoke because of him, because he won’t bother of me. I thought he loved me. It was already a month since he left me to go on tour, he calls me every night, we have long sweet talks but I never told him of my situation. I have already braced myself for this to happen but it was worse than I’ve expected. I have no family here to support me. I don’t even have my best friends here with me. They are all far away from me, in the land where I abandoned them just to experience life in London. It went crazy on twitter as hate tweets were every where, even Zayn who doesn’t log in to twitter notices the spiteful tweets!
I finally got my guts to tell him what happened but he just told me to ignore them. But who is he to say when I’m the one being screwed for falling in love?! He caught me red handed as I was having a quick smoke in the back alley of the shop I worked before heading home. There was actually perks if dating him. I got promoted to cashier. His expression when he saw me was priceless, the pain carved onto his beautiful features made me about to fume up. Like he doesn’t know that this is how I let go of the grief. “Babe, why are you doing this?” His voice expressed hurt. I just stood there, blank, I tried holding them back but tears rolled down my cheeks. He took the half-smoked bud out of my hand an threw it to the ground, stepping on it a few times to rid of the light. He hugged me really tight like I was going to escape but he did right, I actually wriggled out of his grasps. He looked confused. I love him to much to see him hurt but I just can’t beat the pain of him being ignorant of what his fans is doing to me as the worse part is he does nothing.
*8 months later*
“Y/n are you pregnant?” He took in a deep breathe after splurging it out. I did not reply him. I wrapped by jumper around me tighter as I hugged myself tightly. His anticipated look made me fall for him again. He does not deserve being apologized, I constantly reminded myself. I don’t feel like talking to him anymore, I feel like leaving him but by love towards him was too strong. I miss those times we had where we’d lie in his room because we both can’t sleep and just gaze at each other, having small talk; those times when I have period cramps and he’d cuddle with me until I feel better; those moments where we we’d tickle each other and steal little kisses with cooking or baking; those moments where we’d play with each other’s fingers. I miss them. I miss the old him. He grew up. He moved himself nearer to the other end of the couch where I was seated on. He knows that my fear towards him increased. It has been 2 weeks since it happened and I avoided him these 2 weeks. “I’m sorry, Niall.” I apologized for the fear of him, I apologized just to make myself feel better, I apologized because I don’t know what I should utter. I sniffled as tears filled my eyes.
“What do you mean by sorry?” He sounded wary and sorrow. I shook my head. “For what you did to me.” I said. We were both silent, only the sound of the television on softly.was heard. “You took it away. Do you know how it felt?” I began. He stare at me blankly. “Oh, I forgotten, you’re a guy, pft.” I spat. “You know your size right? It was my first and if I never willingly accepted you, I could file a report of-” I paused trying to control myself from bursting into tears. “-rape. You didn’t even notice my pain!” I burst into tears, I couldn’t hold it in more longer. His fans were fanatic, they’d sent hate, they’d send death threats, they’d even tried attacking me! I had to cope will my job which I changed just 2 months ago because of them constantly disturbing me. “And..and your fans, they’ve gotten worse.” I stuttered. He was dumbfounded. “A few attempted in killing me a few days ago. Thankfully my colleagues were around.” I gulped knowing that he might fume. “What?” He finally spoke up. “Yeah, you heard me.” I bowed my head into my knees. “Wh-why didn’t you tell me?” “Like you would bother about it. You knew that I had struggled with your fans since being just a friend. So, yeah..what do you think?” I braved myself to look at him while tears continue to roll down my cheeks. He stared at me, I could see that he was thinking, thinking of some way to solve this but his expression sold him out. I knew what he was going to say. “You…should have left me…” His voice trailed along. I cried harder. He moved even closer towards me. “You know..how much I love you Niall?!! I even gave it to you..that” I paused wiping off the tears with the sleeve of my jumper. “..that day of your fans attempt. Do you know how pain I feel?! I…..I almost committed..”
He was aware of my words that he didn’t care how much I rejected intimacy with him. He pulled me into a hug, all I did was sob. He hugged me very tight. I was too weak to fight back. My will, my determination to hold on faded as days went by. I lost hope in him ever caring me. He pulled back as he grabbed my wrists, he check the right one then he almost cried when he saw my left wrist. I had a deep gash which was hidden behind bracelets. “I stopped because I thought of you.” I silently spoke, a little smile appeared on my lips. He kissed my wrist. “I know I shouldn’t have did it, but I was drunk, I just don’t know how to make it up to you. I’m really, really sorry about that, y/n. I never knew this would happen. I thought you were strong enough. I thought you were ignorant towards hate. I’m sorry I hurt you when-” a tear trickled down his face. I could feel myself getting weaker. My hand reached up to his face, I wiped away the tear on his face. “-when I should be protecting you. I’m really really sorry about everything, princess. I never meant it. I know you might never forgive me, but I mean everything I say. I’m really really sorry princess. I love you.” He said. Something in me took over, my head felt light, my body felt weak, my arms went right to his neck as my lips smashed onto his. He kissed back, craving for more. I couldn’t hold longer, I pulled back. My head was on his chest as my body lay back towards the couch. “I love you, y/n.” He said, kidding my forehead. My body feels so weak as everything goes blurry. “I love you, too.” My reply came out as a whisper.
*Niall’s POV*
She passed out. She had a slight smile tugging on her lips. I gave her a little peck on her lips. Her fingers that intertwined with mine felt cold. Her lips were very pale. I panicked. What happened to my y/n? I quickly rushed her to the hospital.
“Mr. Horan, may I ask, is she aneroxic?” The doctor asked me. “Not that i’m aware of.” I replied, worried fill my tone. “First of all, the patient, she is pregnant.” I felt happiness struck me. My smile was wide. “Second, she has not consumed food for the past day. That is why she fainted…” My sight wandered off towards y/n whom is silently laying on the bed in the room in front of me. My princess is pregnant. My princess and I are going to have a little one. I was aware of what the doctor said, I filled in the form at the administration counter to check her in. I still can’t believe my drunk incident brought to this.
While packing a few if her belongings to be brought to the hospital, I swore to myself that I must care, listen, stop ignoring and love, my beautiful y/n. I promised myself that I will listen to her. I promised myself that we must share everything with each other. I promised myself that I must stand up for her. I promised myself to care for her like she does for me. I promised myself that I will never ever leave her. I swore that I will love my y/n infinitely and love my y/n as much as she love me.
- ange (main acc justteengirl)
oh yeah, i wrote Niall because one of my lovely twitter followers suggested Niall! :)
