Validation
What does it mean to "validate" someone? Validation is an effective communicate technique for anyone, really, not just people with BPD. Someone is being invalidated when they're being ridiculed, ignored, judged, or told that they or their feelings are"bad" or"wrong"—even in a subtle way. Validation, on the other hand, is to acknowledge the feelings involved whether or not you agree with them. It is not praise or agreement; merely an acknowledgement and reinforcement that you understand their feelings. For example, if your spouse is angry at you for supposedly flirting with a cashier: Validation:"I can see you're angry at me because you thought I was flirting with someone. If I had done that, that would be aggravating. However, that wasn't what I had in mind at all." Invalidation:"Don't be angry, I wasn't flirting with that person!" It is critical you understand that validation is not agreement with the person. In the example above, the speaker didn't agree that he or she was flirt