#brain talk

[ryostrenchcoat]

Ryo absent mindedly picks at his scabs on his scalp while doing stuff. He has definitely hopped in the shower, more then once, after picking and has gotten used to the stinging that come from said bad decisions I think he just doesn't care at this point

bruh this is shameless projecting for me because this was def my self-harm of choice in high school (rip my scalp)

yeah dude if akira isn’t there to make him sit on his hands, he absolutely picks the shit out of his scalp while looking over demon-hunting notes

sometimes akira makes him wear The Mittens of Shame™

[yconic]

me: I really wanna write today. Like, honestly I have such a burning desire to just write something out right now.

brain: well, do it.

me: nah.

[pissyeti]

Idk if this is normal at all but I've been listening to a true crime podcast and there's some pretty intense discussion of child abuse and like I'm an abuse survivor myself and it doesn't seem to bother me right away? Like I'll listen to a bunch of it, and I feel like I don't parse the severity of what I'm hearing until suddenly there's a breaking point and I'm distraught and have to turn it off. Is there a word for that? Like I'm sure it's some sort of ptsd and repression tactic on the part of my poor fried brain but otherwise I'm stumped

[haru-desune]

I'm not mentally in a place where I can take on more work, but if I don't take on .ore work I will be kicked out of this organization and I'm getting anxious and I'm going to vomit probably at some point and ugh

[ryostrenchcoat]

(have some more projection) Ryo is actually pretty scared and paranoid of the dark, he often has to text Akira about it to help keep him grounded in reality but it usually ends with Akira just coming over and cuddling with him to make him feel safe

akira basically had to just move in with ryo because ryo is Real Bad at sleeping alone between paranoia and trauma from his dad trying to kill him in his sleep

ryo just has a shitty apartment that he lives in because the mansion was Trashed™ by the demons and he literally just has a mattress on the floor with a blanket nest on it. akira has accepted his position of power in the blanket nest. ryo has a weighted blanket but usually akira is the weighted blanket

[ryostrenchcoat]

since we're all projecting onto ryo I'd like to propose: cheek biting. he is forced to gargle peroxide bc its so bad. He sometimes draws enough blood to taste and que the Not Right feeling from death. Akira carries gum and lollipops to shove in his mouth when he sees him chewing.

things akira fudo has in his pockets:

mittens (to shove his ryo’s hands)

gum (to shove in ryo’s mouth)

band-aids and tissues (for if steps one and two fail)

if ryo’s smoking the chewing isn’t an issue, which just makes ryo smoke more. it’s just a habit now for akira to hand ryo gum when the cigarettes are put out

[ryostrenchcoat]

Ryo probably paints his nails so he has something to fixate and pick before he picks his skin. The nail polish usually doesn't last a day but it gives his skin a brief reprieve from the picking.

concept: ova ryo paints his own nails but manga ryo is given a Miki Makimura Intervention™ and she makes him sit still and tolerate her long enough to paint his nails for him and he begrudgingly realizes he likes it and it helps him not pick and also not bite his nails. it becomes an unspoken weekly arrangement.

ova ryo’s favorite nail polish is gold holographic thanks for asking