SOBS AT THAT RELIGION HEADCANON
a;kdsljfa;lkjf I JUST HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT ALLISON RE: RELIGION OKAY LIKE when she was under gerard’s influence, she did not want there to be a god, because if there was, it meant he was a merciless man who stood by and let her mother and aunt be murdered and she could not believe in a higher being that would let that happen
and then when she realized the monster was her grandfather the whole time she was so scared that there was a god who existed because she was so guilty and full of sin and she could never be forgiven, could she?
and i have this scene in my head (that’s not canon compliant this is all my allison) where after her resurrection, she goes to a church, and just sits in the back, and cries through the whole service. just bawling. because the service is on forgiveness, and how God loves all his children even if they do not love themselves and to gain forgiveness you just have to ask and she’s crying because when has anything in her life ever been that easy?
but she walks up to the confessional and sits inside and just whispers the name of every person she ever hurt and confesses she held hatred for her mother and for herself and just spills her guts out and the priest tells her she is absolved, and she walks out still crying because she feels it. and she swears she will take this second chance and do better. she will be better this time around. and when she goes home and prays that night, for the first time in a long time, she feels like someone is actually listening.