f1 drivers and the lies they would tell on their tinder profiles
daniel ricciardo: he would post a really badly edited photo of him doing something adventurous like wrestling a crocodile or cliff jumping at the white cliffs of dover but he would insist it’s real. it’s a bit but it genuinely pisses people off
lando norris: he would definitely lie about his height. he would probably just say he’s 5′10″ but he is not
yuki tsunoda: he would also lie about his height but he’d do the opposite way. he’d say “i’m 4′11″ because apparently that matters”
alex albon: he would not lie this man is wholesome and you can trust him. however he would use pictures of his cats to draw you in
mick schumacher: he also would not lie but he has a bunch of pictures with dogs that are not his on his profile and that’s technically false advertising
george russell: he would say that he goes to university in oxford but he doesn’t mean the university of oxford, he means oxford brookes
lewis hamilton: he would talk about his love for cooking and offer to cook you whatever meal you want, but that’s a lie because he will only cook you food that is vegan
pierre gasly: he would post pictures in front of a car that is not his
esteban ocon: he would post pictures with a fish and tell you that he caught it but really it was already dead floating at the top of the lake
sebastian vettel: he would say he loves relaxing nights in and long walks on the beach but he doesn’t mean it. there is nothing relaxing about this man because everything is a competition and he must win.
nicholas latifi: he would say he won his high school’s superlative for “most likely to be a famous comedian” but he actually won “most likely to end up stranded on a deserted island”
max verstappen: max’s profile is exclusively group pictures. good luck figuring out which one is him
charles leclerc: charles’s profile understates his entire existence. his description says he “dabbles” in music but then one of his pictures is him playing a piano concerto at the royal albert hall with the queen in attendance
lance stroll: lance would say that he isn’t looking for anything serious but he would confess his love for you on the first date and then propose on the second
carlos sainz: carlos employs graphic designers to photoshop his head onto random men with 8 packs even though he actually has an 8 pack himself
zhou guanyu: his entire profile is him in designer streetwear, but he actually makes his friends take the pictures in the store dressing rooms
sergio perez: checo would lie and say he’s on there looking for a friend of his to make fun of them but he’s actually looking for a long term relationship and just trying to play it cool
kevin magnussen: every photo on kevin’s profile was taken during holidays in cities, expertly hiding the fact that he lives in a rural farmhouse 50km from the nearest neighbor because he hates people
valtteri bottas: you'd match with valtteri and chat for awhile and then he’d suddenly ghost you, only to come back 3 months later saying “sorry i was in the shower”
fernando alonso: his entire profile is gym mirror selfies but they were all taken on the same day, he just brought 5 different outfits with him
