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Chastity notes challenge
For each note I'll have an hour in chastity
I won't count hours I wouldnt be able to jerk off anyway! So if I'm in work for 8 hours those won't count for the total, but I'll keep the cage on.
Ill add some goals a later date maybe! Lets see how long I can go without ever finishing <3
I start first thing tomorrow morning!
Never walk into a cage willingly. If you're already in one: break out.
Digital faux linocut.
Caged (Part 1)
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6i | Part 6ii |
Pairing: Dark Valarr Targaryen x Reader (Modern AU) Warning: Possessive Behavior Word Count: 7.1K Synopsis: Every time a new Targaryen is born, the gods toss the coin in the air and the world holds its breath to see how it will land. Valarr Targaryen turns out to be soft spoken and charismatic. When he set his eyes upon you, you were charmed.
Part 1
He had always looked most dangerous when he was being kind.
That was the first thing people noticed about Valarr Targaryen, long before they noticed the money, the lineage, the impossible old-world glamour of his family, the way his name still carried the weight of inheritance and legacy and expensive silence. He was beautiful in the way a cathedral was beautiful—cold stone, stained glass, something built to humble you. He smiled easily. He spoke softly. He remembered names, birthdays, preferences. He sent flowers to widows and expensive champagne to men who had just closed deals with his father. He charmed board members, old family friends, waiters, charity committees, the press.
He could make a room feel blessed merely by entering it.
And when he looked at you, people always seemed to think you were lucky.
They did not see the way his hand would settle at the back of your neck, gentle as a caress and heavy as a claim.
They did not hear his voice in the dark, low and patient and so very reasonable, as he asked why another man had texted you after midnight.
They did not watch him smile at your friends while memorizing which ones encouraged you to be difficult.
They did not understand that his sweetness had edges.
You had loved him for three years.
You had broken up with him three months ago.
And Valarr Targaryen, who had accepted business losses with grace and public humiliation with a smile that made journalists praise his composure, had never once accepted losing you.
He was going to get you back.
He had decided that before you even realized you were leaving him.
//
When you ended it, he had stood very still.
That was what you remembered most afterward—not shouting, not rage, not some dramatic smashing of crystal and snarled threats the way people imagined men like him must unravel. He did not unravel. Valarr did not do anything so untidy.
He stood in the middle of the kitchen of the townhouse he kept in the city, one hand braced against the marble island, sleeves rolled neatly to his forearms, his tie already loosened from dinner. There was rain tapping against the windows. A bottle of wine sat open between you, untouched now. The overhead pendant lights cast a warm pool over the black stone counter. Somewhere in the house the sound system was still playing soft jazz, obscenely elegant, as though the evening had not just split open.
You had been rehearsing the words for a week.
For longer, perhaps.
For months, if you counted all the nights you had lain awake with your throat tight and your thoughts racing, telling yourself that love was not supposed to feel like asking permission to breathe.
“I can’t do this anymore,” you said.
You had not cried. You were proud of that now, even if you had cried later. In the car. In the shower. Into your pillow with your phone on silent because you knew he would call and you were afraid that if you heard his voice you would go back and apologize for trying to leave him.
Valarr only looked at you.
“What exactly,” he asked after a moment, “can’t you do?”
It would have been easier if he had yelled. Easier if he had given you something crude to push against. Instead there was only that terrible calm, the composure that made everyone think him civilized.
“This.” You laughed once, short and brittle. “Us. You.”
His face changed very little. A blink. A slight shift in posture. That was all. But you knew him well enough by then to see the danger in how still he had gone.
“You’ll have to be more specific, sweetheart.”
“I am tired of being watched.”
His brows lifted almost imperceptibly.
“Watched?”
“You know what I mean.”
“No,” he said softly. “I want to hear you say it.”
You stared at him, fury beginning to burn through your fear. “You track everything. You know where I am before I tell you. You ask questions in that calm voice like you’re being reasonable, but somehow I always end up explaining myself to you like I’ve done something wrong. Every time I go out without you, you know who I was with. If a man speaks to me twice, you know his full name by the next morning. If I’m five minutes late, you call until I answer. You send drivers when I don’t ask for them. You send gifts when I tell you I need space. You make problems disappear before I even know they exist, and then I find out later they disappeared because you made them.”
His jaw flexed once.
“That is called taking care of you.”
“No,” you said. “It’s called control.”
Something dark flickered under his expression then. Brief but unmistakable. The thing most people never saw because Valarr kept it hidden under polish and old money and an almost princely self-command.
“And who,” he asked, “has been putting these ideas into your head?”
You almost laughed again, except there was nothing funny in it.
“There it is.”
“What?”
“That.” Your voice rose. “That thing you do. I say something about how I feel and you turn it into someone influencing me. Like I couldn’t possibly have my own thoughts unless somebody else gave them to me.”
He pushed away from the counter. “You are upset.”
“I am breaking up with you.”
The words hung there.
Rain against glass. Music from the speakers. The faint hiss of the stove where candles had dripped wax earlier and left residue on the metal grates. The whole gorgeous house holding its breath.
Valarr stared at you.
Then he smiled.
Not because he found it amusing. That would have been easier too. No—he smiled because he had put on that face so often it had become its own kind of armor. Calm. Elegant. Controlled.
“No,” he said.
Your stomach dropped.
“No?”
“No,” he repeated, almost gently. “You’re angry. You’re overwhelmed. Something has frightened you, or someone has gotten into your ear, or you’ve worked yourself into thinking my concern is something uglier than it is. But you are not leaving me.”
You had known he would not make it easy. Still, hearing it said so plainly chilled you.
“You don’t get to decide that.”
“Of course I do.” He took a step toward you. “Because I know you. Better than anyone. Better than you know yourself when you get like this.”
“Do not come closer.”
He stopped.
That was almost worse—how readily he obeyed, how he could make compliance feel like generosity.
His voice lowered. “Tell me what you want changed.”
You shook your head.
“Tell me.”
“I want out.”
He went silent.
Then, very carefully, “That isn’t an option.”
Something in you finally snapped.
“Do you hear yourself?” you demanded. “Do you hear how insane you sound? This is exactly why I’m leaving. You don’t love me, Valarr—you possess me. You watch me like I belong to you. You decide what is best for me. You punish people for getting too close to me. You make me feel like I’m doing something wrong every time I choose myself over you.”
The silence after that was dense and awful.
His eyes—those strange, beautiful eyes everyone talked about—were fixed on your face with such intensity it felt like heat.
When he spoke, his voice was nearly inaudible.
“You are mine.”
The room seemed to contract around you.
You had heard echoes of it before, in jokes and murmurs and kisses against your temple. Mine. My girl. My sweet thing. Words people wrapped in affection until they forgot those words could also be shackles.
But this time there was no softness disguising it.
You felt suddenly cold.
“I’m not,” you said, quieter now. “And that’s the problem.”
He looked at you for a long moment.
Then he nodded once, as though arriving at a conclusion.
“All right.”
You frowned. “What?”
“If that is what you need to do,” he said, voice smooth again, “then go.”
You did not move.
He folded his hands in front of him. His expression was calm, almost remote now. “I will not beg you.”
You ought to have felt relief.
Instead dread slid slowly down your spine.
Because you knew him.
Valarr never lost control in the moment. He absorbed. He calculated. He planned.
“Okay,” you said, because what else was there to say?
You went upstairs on shaking legs and packed a bag while he remained below, and when you came down twenty minutes later he was on the phone in the study, speaking in that low, efficient tone he used with lawyers and staff and men who solved delicate problems for the family. He did not look up as you passed.
That was what frightened you enough to make you leave faster.
Not fury.
Not heartbreak.
Administration.
By the time you reached your sister’s apartment, you had blocked his number.
By morning, there were white roses on the doorstep and a note in his handwriting.
You’ll come home when you’ve calmed down.
//
You did not go home.
You moved twice in the first month.
The first time because he found the address in four days.
The second because your landlady, charmed into glowing helpfulness by “such a lovely gentleman from such a nice family,” mentioned that your ex had stopped by to make sure the building was secure and ask whether anyone suspicious had been hanging around.
Valarr never crossed the line in ways that would have been easy to prove.
He did not pound on doors. He did not leave bruises. He did not scream in public or drag you into alleyways or send messages so explicit your friends could point and say there, there’s the threat. Men like him were too intelligent for that. Too well-trained in optics. Too familiar with how power worked best when it wore gloves.
Instead he sent things.
Flowers you did not ask for.
A first edition of a book you had mentioned wanting six months ago.
Your favorite pastries from the little bakery across town—the one you had stopped visiting because he always somehow knew when you were there.
A scarf when the weather turned colder. Concert tickets. A bracelet. A set of keys to a car you had never wanted, with a note that said I worry about you taking cabs at night.
You returned what you could. Refused deliveries. Blocked new numbers. Deleted emails unopened.
He adapted.
A package arrived from a charity auction you had never entered. The item was a painting you had paused in front of once at a gallery, and the enclosed receipt showed anonymous payment already processed in your name.
An old professor mentioned in passing that Valarr had made a generous donation to the department and asked after you with such concern.
Your manager at the boutique consulting firm where you worked told you, with a little laugh, that one of the Targaryen family offices had inquired about poaching you because apparently you had made an impression at one of their holiday galas last year.
You left that job before anything could happen, because by then every coincidence had begun to feel like a hand closing around your ankle.
Your friends told you he was trying too hard.
That men like him always did.
That if you ignored him long enough he would get bored.
Men like him did not get bored.
Valarr became interested.
And interest, in him, was a dangerous thing.
//
He did not think of what he was doing as stalking.
That was a crude word. Vulgar. Used by people with no understanding of devotion.
Valarr thought of it as stewardship.
He sat in the back of the car outside your new building, one ankle crossed over his knee, phone in one hand, the city glowing past the tinted glass in ribbons of gold and red. His driver kept his eyes politely on the street. The man in the passenger seat, one of the security consultants retained by the family office for sensitive matters, was speaking in low, clipped sentences about schedules, known associates, routine changes.
Valarr listened.
You had cut your hair.
Not much. Just enough that the ends sat differently around your shoulders. Enough that he knew some impulsive little part of you had wanted to mark the separation. Reinvention through inches.
It did not matter.
He knew your walk from half a block away.
“Who is he?” Valarr asked.
The man in front glanced at the tablet in his hand. “Coworker. Jon Penrose. Thirty-two. Senior analyst at—”
“I don’t care about his résumé. I asked who he is to her.”
“No indication of a relationship.”
Valarr watched through the window as you laughed at something the man beside you had said. Your face turned up toward him, unguarded. Bright. There it was—that softness you had once given him so freely. That open expression he had been starving for since you left.
A sensation like acid moved through his chest.
Your coworker touched your elbow to guide you around a puddle.
Valarr’s fingers tightened around his phone.
“You said no indication.”
“Nothing confirmed.”
His smile was slight. Terrible.
“Confirm it.”
The security consultant went still for half a beat. “Understood.”
Valarr kept watching until you disappeared inside the building.
Only then did he lean back.
The city lights moved over his face in pale bands.
He had let you run.
That had been his first mistake.
At the beginning, he had believed in correction. Time. Distance just long enough for you to feel the consequences of life without him—the ugliness of ordinary inconvenience, the vulnerability, the strain. He had believed you would grow tired and frightened and lonely and then return, chastened, into the shelter of what he offered.
Instead, you had become obstinate.
He admired that in you, sometimes. Your spirit. Your foolish little courage. It was one of the reasons he had chosen you so quickly and so thoroughly. Most women around him were taught to bend toward wealth and power and glamour. You had looked him in the eye as though he were simply a man, and at the time he had found that thrilling.
Now it was exhausting.
Still, he loved you.
That was the inconvenience.
If it had been mere appetite, he could have found something else to ruin.
But no one else calmed him. No one else irritated him in precisely the way that made him feel alive. No one else made him want to be good and monstrous in equal measure.
You were his.
You simply had not accepted that yet.
He tapped the screen of his phone and opened the folder his assistant had sent an hour earlier—your updated work information, apartment lease details, gym membership, new preferred coffee shop, the names of the friends you saw most frequently now that you had pared your life down to people he had less reach over.
Temporary information.
All temporary.
Valarr’s gaze drifted back to the building entrance.
“Jon Penrose,” he said softly. “I want him removed from her orbit.”
The man in the front seat hesitated. “Removed in what sense?”
Valarr’s expression did not change.
“Do not insult me.”
“Of course.”
“A transfer, a better offer, a personal complication, an old indiscretion surfacing at the wrong time—I truly do not care. I simply don’t want him near her.”
“And if she asks questions?”
Valarr smiled to himself.
“She won’t get answers.”
//
The first time you realized he was still actively rearranging your life, you almost vomited.
Jon did not show up to work on a Thursday.
By lunch, people were murmuring that he had accepted an offer in The Riverlands. Last minute. Stunning package. Couldn’t say no. He had apparently known about it for weeks and told no one because he did not want to jinx it.
By evening, you had his goodbye text.
Sorry for the abruptness. Bit mad. Wish I’d taken you out before all this. Take care of yourself.
You stared at the screen until the words blurred.
Wish I’d taken you out.
You had never gone out with Jon. He had flirted, lightly, the way men did sometimes when they mistook your politeness for invitation. You had kept him at a distance because even now, after three months, some raw frightened part of you believed any man who got too close would suffer for it.
And yet here it was—a text that sounded almost apologetic, almost wistful, as though a door had quietly shut before it could even open.
Your phone rang ten seconds later from an unknown number.
You froze.
It rang again.
And again.
You answered on the fourth call because some instinct stronger than good sense told you who it would be.
“Hello?”
Silence.
Then his breathing. Low. Controlled.
Your blood went cold.
“Valarr.”
“Sweetheart.”
You almost hung up at the sound of his voice.
Three months and he could still do that to you—make your whole body react before your mind caught up. Your pulse jumped. Your skin prickled. There had always been something terrible in how easily he could reach inside you.
“What do you want?”
“To hear your voice.”
“Don’t call me.”
A soft exhale. Amusement, maybe. Or patience.
“I’ve been very patient with you.”
You gripped the phone harder. “Did you have something to do with Jon leaving?”
“I don’t know who Jon is.”
“Liar.”
That quiet laugh. The one that used to make warmth move through your stomach. Now it made you feel sick.
“You never liked dishonesty.”
“No, I don’t. So let’s try again. Did you have something to do with it?”
He was silent just long enough that you knew he was enjoying this.
Then, “He wasn’t right for you.”
Your knees nearly gave out.
You sat abruptly on the edge of your bed.
“You can’t do this.”
“I already did.”
Something in his tone made the room seem suddenly smaller.
“You are proving my point,” you whispered.
“No,” he said. “I am reminding you that there are consequences to pretending you can live as though I do not exist.”
Tears stung unexpectedly at your eyes, born more of fury than fear. “You don’t get to decide who is right for me.”
“Don’t I?”
“No.”
He sighed, as though you were being difficult over something simple.
“Listen to me carefully. I have allowed this tantrum to go on because I love you and because I know pride matters to you. You wanted to prove you could survive outside the life I built for you. Fine. You’ve proven it. Congratulations. Now stop embarrassing both of us and come back.”
Your vision flashed white with anger.
“Embarrassing us?”
“Yes.”
“There is no us.”
“There is,” he said quietly. “There has only ever been us.”
You stood, pacing now because if you stayed still you thought you might break something.
“You are insane.”
“I’m in love with you.”
“That is not the same thing.”
“No,” Valarr murmured. “For me it is.”
You squeezed your eyes shut.
“Do you know what the worst part is?” you said, voice shaking. “If you were cruel all the time, I would hate you. If you were obvious, if you yelled, if you hit me, if you gave me something ugly and clear to point to, maybe I would have left sooner and stayed gone easier. But you hide it. You wrap it up in care and concern and gifts and protection until I sound ungrateful for noticing there’s poison underneath it.”
For the first time, his voice sharpened.
“I have never poisoned you.”
“You have strangled me.”
Silence.
Breathing.
Then a softness so complete it was almost frightening.
“You say these awful things to me,” he murmured, “as though I am not the person who has loved you most faithfully.”
“That isn’t love.”
“It is the only kind worth having.”
Your chest ached. Your eyes burned.
“Leave me alone.”
“No.”
The word was gentle.
Absolute.
You pulled the phone away and ended the call with a shaking thumb.
Then you blocked the number, turned the phone off, and sat on the floor beside your bed with your arms wrapped around yourself like someone trying to survive winter.
//
There were good days after that.
You clung to them with embarrassing gratitude.
A week in which nothing arrived, no calls came, and no strange intersections of coincidence made your stomach clench. A brunch with your sister that stretched into afternoon shopping and laughter. A night out with two friends where you danced badly and drank too much and let yourself believe, for a few bright hours, that your life was becoming your own again.
On those days, you almost felt foolish.
Maybe he was tiring of it. Maybe the family had pulled him back into their own orbit of politics and money and obligation. Maybe there was some new beautiful woman with old blood and excellent breeding smiling up at him across candlelit tables while society pages speculated about the inevitability of their marriage.
Valarr had options. Endless ones.
That thought hurt more than you wanted it to, because leaving him had not magically killed your love for him. It had only made loving him painful in a different direction.
You still remembered the good things.
That was the problem with men who could play at tenderness so well.
You remembered Sunday mornings in bed while the rain hit the windows and he read the papers aloud in a mocking aristocratic accent until you laughed into his shoulder. You remembered him taking your chilled hands into his coat pockets on winter walks. The first time he had cooked for you himself, rolling up his sleeves in that bright kitchen while you sat on the counter drinking wine and teasing him for measuring garlic with military precision. The nights he had held you so carefully you felt breakable and precious and safe, when he kissed your forehead in the dark and spoke to you with such aching softness it made you think perhaps you had imagined the rest.
You remembered how he looked at you in crowded rooms.
As though all the light there belonged to you and he was simply standing guard over it.
Sometimes you hated yourself for missing him.
Sometimes you hated him for knowing you would.
Then came the gala.
You should not have gone. You knew that now.
But your friend Elara had begged, and it was for a museum initiative you actually cared about, and Valarr had not appeared at a public event you attended in weeks. You checked the guest list twice and his family name was nowhere on it. Not even adjacent through foundations or subsidiaries or some discreet arm of philanthropic empire.
So you went.
It was held in the upper atrium of a renovated cultural center downtown—glass ceilings, floating staircases, old stone and modern steel all married together in the kind of carefully curated grandeur the wealthy loved because it made them feel tasteful rather than merely rich. You wore black silk. Understated. Hair pinned up. Gold at your ears and throat. You looked lovely in the mirror and felt, briefly, like yourself.
People smiled. Champagne flowed. A quartet played near the sculpture wing. The city glittered beyond the windows.
You were twenty minutes into a conversation with a donor about grant access in underserved school districts when every nerve in your body pulled tight at once.
No sound announced him.
No one said his name.
And still you knew.
It was the way the air changed around him. The subtle shift in attention. The unconscious straightening of spines, the warmth of admiration moving through the room like heat.
You turned.
Valarr stood at the foot of the staircase in a black tuxedo, one hand in his pocket, the other lightly resting against the rail as he spoke to the museum director with that easy, devastating smile. His hair was brushed back. His expression was composed. He looked immaculate. Untouched.
Your heart gave one violent, traitorous thud.
He had known you would be here.
Of course he had.
His gaze lifted.
Found you.
Held.
The museum director was still speaking but Valarr was no longer listening. You knew that look. That unnerving stillness beneath his polish when his focus narrowed to a single point and everything else became irrelevant.
You set down your champagne flute so carefully it almost made you laugh.
“Elara,” you said without turning your head.
Your friend glanced over. “Oh.”
“Did you know he’d be here?”
“What? No.”
You believed her. That almost made it worse.
Across the room, Valarr excused himself from the director with a murmur and began walking toward you.
People moved for him without seeming to realize they were doing it.
Your palms went damp.
“I’m leaving,” you said.
“You can’t,” Elara hissed. “You’re one of the event leads.”
“Watch me.”
But before you could move, he was there.
Not close enough to touch. Never that, in public, unless he wanted witnesses to think intimacy rather than ownership. Just near enough that the scent of him—cedar, spice, something darker underneath—wrapped around you and pulled at memory like a hand through silk.
He inclined his head to Elara with exquisite courtesy.
“Would you excuse us?”
Elara looked between you and him, uncertain.
You should have said no. You knew you should. But there were eyes on you now. Curious. Socially hungry. The city loved beautiful tension when it belonged to other people.
“It’s fine,” you heard yourself say.
Elara squeezed your hand once before drifting away.
Valarr looked at you.
You hated how your body still responded to him. The rush of alertness. The awareness. As though every hidden instrument in you had been tuned to his frequency and could not forget it.
“You look beautiful,” he said.
“Go away.”
His mouth curved very slightly. “That dress is new.”
“Why are you here?”
He glanced around the room, as if surprised by the question. “Must I have a reason to support the arts?”
“Don’t.”
The softness left his face a little.
“I’ve missed you.”
“I didn’t ask.”
“I know.”
You folded your arms, more to keep from shaking than from defensiveness. “Are you enjoying this?”
His brows drew together almost imperceptibly. “What?”
“Cornering me in public because you know I can’t make a scene.”
His gaze sharpened. “You think so little of me.”
“I think exactly enough of you.”
A pause.
Then he smiled again—that infuriating civilized smile that made strangers think him gracious.
“Dance with me.”
“No.”
“That wasn’t a request.”
“Then the answer is still no.”
For one long second something dangerous flashed in his eyes.
Then it was gone.
He stepped closer, voice dropping to something intimate enough that nobody watching would hear.
“You are trembling.”
“I’m cold.”
“You’re afraid.”
You held his gaze. “Shouldn’t I be?”
That landed. You saw it. A tiny fracture in the perfect surface.
When he answered, his voice was very quiet.
“I have never wanted to frighten you.”
“Intent doesn’t change impact.”
“Such therapeutic language,” he murmured. “Who’s teaching you now?”
You almost slapped him.
He must have seen it in your face, because something darkly pleased moved across his own.
“There you are,” he said softly. “My angry girl.”
“I’m not your anything.”
His eyes dropped briefly to your mouth. Rose again.
“You can repeat that lie as often as you need.”
Before you could answer, a man approached from your left—a trustee’s son, you thought vaguely, someone clean-cut and forgettable whom you had met twice already that evening.
“There you are,” he said to you, smiling. “I was hoping to steal—”
He noticed Valarr fully then and faltered.
Valarr turned toward him with such polished pleasantness that, to anyone else, he looked charming.
“I’m afraid she’s occupied.”
The man laughed awkwardly. “Right, of course, I just thought—”
Valarr’s gaze rested on him. Calm. Beautiful. Ruinous.
“I know what you thought.”
The other man went pale.
You stared.
It happened so quickly you might have imagined it if you did not know Valarr so well—the minute alteration in his tone, the subtle pressure he could put on a room, on a person, until charm became threat without ever losing its smile.
“I—well. Another time, perhaps.”
“No,” Valarr said.
The man nodded too quickly and vanished into the crowd.
You rounded on Valarr. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
His expression cooled. “He was looking at you.”
“We are at a gala. Everyone is looking at everyone.”
“Not like that.”
“You do not get to police who speaks to me.”
“And yet,” he said, “here we are.”
You should have walked away.
Instead you stood there, furious and shaking and absurdly close to tears, because he had always been able to reduce you to this awful, helpless mixture of rage and longing.
Valarr looked at your face for a moment, something unreadable passing through his own.
Then he said, very softly, “Come outside with me.”
“No.”
“Please.”
That stopped you.
He almost never said please to you when the matter truly mattered to him. Not because he lacked manners—God, no. He was impeccably mannered. But when it came to things he considered inevitable, things he believed belonged to him, he did not plead.
You hesitated.
That was all the invitation he needed.
He guided you—not touching, merely steering with presence and expectation—through a side corridor and out onto one of the museum terraces overlooking the city. Cold air hit your skin. The noise of the gala dimmed behind glass doors. Below, traffic flowed in streams of white and red. Above, the night hung dark and clear over the skyline.
The terrace was empty.
Of course it was.
You turned on him immediately. “Did you orchestrate this?”
He leaned one shoulder against the stone balustrade, infuriatingly composed. “I knew you’d come.”
“That isn’t what I asked.”
“No,” he said. “I did not arrange the gala merely to speak to you. Though the donor list was easy enough to influence once I knew you’d be involved.”
Your mouth fell open.
He looked almost bored by your outrage.
“You admit that like it’s normal.”
“It is normal for me.”
“And that doesn’t horrify you?”
“No.” His eyes held yours. “Why should it? Influence exists to be used.”
You took a step back.
For the first time all evening, something close to weariness touched his face.
“Don’t do that.”
“What?”
“Move away from me like I’m filth.”
A bitter laugh escaped you. “That bothers you?”
“Yes.”
“Good.”
He went still.
The cold sharpened the edges of everything—the city, the terrace rail, the line of his jaw. He looked like one of those old carved saints who might open his mouth and speak blasphemy.
“I have been patient,” he said.
“You keep saying that like it should earn you a medal.”
“It should earn me your gratitude.”
You stared at him in disbelief.
He pushed off the rail and came closer at last, close enough that you had to tilt your head to keep looking at him.
“I let you leave because I believed you would come to your senses. I let you rage, hide, perform your little independence. I allowed you your dignity.”
“Allowed?”
“Yes.” The word cracked like ice. “Because if I had wanted this handled differently, it would have been.”
Fear moved through you then, cold and unmistakable.
He saw it.
You wished he had not.
Because immediately his face changed—softening, regret sliding over it like silk over steel.
“No,” he said quietly. “No, don’t look at me like that.”
“You just threatened me.”
“I did not.”
“You implied—”
“I told you a truth.” He lifted a hand, hesitated, then let it fall instead of touching your face. “I have held myself back in ways you do not even understand.”
Your throat tightened.
“That is not comforting.”
“It should be.”
“Why?”
“Because it means I love you.”
You laughed then, a terrible broken sound.
“Do you hear yourself? You say these things like they prove devotion, like your restraint is some gift I should appreciate. Do you know what healthy people call this?”
His mouth thinned.
“I am not interested in healthy,” he said. “I am interested in you.”
Tears stung your eyes again, more out of sheer frustration than sorrow.
“I can’t do this.”
“Yes, you can.”
“No.” You shook your head. “No, I can’t. I spent three years twisting myself into knots trying to make sense of you. Trying to tell myself your jealousy meant passion and your control meant protection and your need to know everything meant love. I am tired, Valarr. I am so tired.”
Something in him seemed to flicker at that. Briefly. Pain, perhaps. Or annoyance that your exhaustion was not the useful kind.
“I never asked you to be tired.”
“You asked me to be small.”
His jaw clenched.
“I asked you to be safe.”
“You asked me to belong to you.”
“Yes,” he said.
The honesty of it hit you like a slap.
The city noise below seemed suddenly very far away.
Valarr looked at your face and said, softer now, “I still do.”
You closed your eyes for one helpless second.
When you opened them, he was watching you with a terrible kind of tenderness.
“You are not meant for men like those boys inside,” he said. “Those harmless, temporary little creatures who want an interesting girl on their arm until something easier comes along. You are not meant for rented apartments and late trains and office politics and friends who disappear when things become inconvenient. You are meant to be adored. Protected. Kept.”
Your pulse thudded painfully.
“That sounds like a cage.”
He almost smiled.
“Only if you insist on calling it one.”
“I do.”
“You won’t forever.”
The certainty in his voice chilled you more than the night air.
“How can you stand there and say that?”
“Because I know you.”
“No, you know the version of me you prefer.”
A beat.
Then, very softly, “And what if I do?”
You stared at him.
He stepped closer still. Not touching. Near enough that the warmth of him brushed your skin in the cold.
“I know you when you’re frightened and stubborn and pretending you do not still think of me before you sleep. I know the sound you make when you are trying not to cry. I know you still check your locks twice because you never felt vulnerable until you left my house. I know you miss me. I know you.”
“You monitor me.”
“I watch over you.”
“You make it impossible to live.”
“I make it impossible to forget.”
Your breath caught.
There it was. The truth, naked at last. Not care. Not correction. Not reconciliation.
Punishment.
He looked at your face for a long time, and when he spoke again his voice was almost unbearably gentle.
“Come home.”
You shook your head.
He waited.
You shook it again, harder.
“No.”
The softness left his eyes.
Not all at once. Not dramatically. Just a gradual withdrawal of warmth until what remained was something colder and far older than anger.
“All right,” he said.
Dread pooled in your stomach.
“You said that last time.”
“Yes.”
“And then you ruined every attempt I made to move on.”
A slight tilt of his head. “Did I?”
“Stop it.”
“I’m asking.”
“You know you did.”
He considered you, expression unreadable.
Then he said, “You are making this much harder than it needs to be.”
A laugh of disbelief escaped you. “For whom?”
“For yourself.”
The doors behind you opened.
Both of you turned.
A museum staff member stepped out, looking apologetic. “Sorry to interrupt. They’re about to start the remarks inside.”
You moved immediately, grateful for the interruption, but Valarr caught your wrist.
Not hard.
Just enough.
The staff member froze, eyes flicking between you both.
Valarr released you at once and smiled that beautiful public smile. “We’ll be right in.”
The staff member nodded too quickly and disappeared.
Your wrist burned where he had touched it.
“You see?” you whispered.
His gaze dropped to your hand.
When he looked back up, something strange had entered his expression. Hunger, maybe. Or hurt.
“That I touched you?”
“That you can’t help it.”
“No,” he said, voice low. “That even now you let me.”
Before you could answer, he stepped aside, granting you space to pass.
You hated that you took it.
You hated more that when you brushed past him, the scent of him and the nearness and the memory of his hand nearly made your knees weaken.
Inside, the gala resumed around you, bright and civilized and oblivious.
Valarr did not speak to you again that night.
He didn’t have to.
You felt him everywhere.
//
Three days later, your apartment was broken into.
Nothing obvious was taken.
That was the worst part.
The lock had been expertly bypassed. No shattered wood, no dramatic mess, no overturned drawers. Just small things wrong enough to make your skin crawl.
A scarf folded on the wrong chair.
Your bathroom cabinet slightly ajar.
A framed photograph on the shelf in your bedroom angled toward the bed as though someone had picked it up and set it back carelessly.
You stood in the middle of the living room with your phone in your hand and terror blooming hot and nauseating through your body.
The police officer who came was polite and tired and practical. No signs of forced entry. No evidence of theft. Maybe the landlord entered for maintenance and forgot to mention it. Maybe you had done it yourself and were anxious because you lived alone.
Maybe, maybe, maybe.
You nodded and thanked him and said yes, perhaps, while every inch of your skin screamed no.
That night you slept at your sister’s place with the lights on.
At two in the morning, a package was delivered to the front desk downstairs.
No sender.
Inside was your scarf.
The one that had been folded on the wrong chair.
Wrapped around it was a note in Valarr’s handwriting.
You should lock the balcony doors too.
Your sister nearly called the police again. You stopped her because what were you going to say? That your ex-boyfriend from a family with private security, old political ties, and a legal department larger than some firms had found a way to make you feel insane from a distance? That he had probably entered your apartment only to prove he could?
By the time you crawled into the guest bed before dawn, you were shaking so hard your teeth hurt.
You dreamt of him.
Valarr in the dark at the foot of the bed, immaculate as ever, looking at you with unbearable tenderness while you lay frozen beneath the sheets.
You woke with a gasp to your sister touching your shoulder and sunrise bleeding pale through the curtains.
“I can’t do this,” you whispered.
“You shouldn’t have to,” she said.
“You don’t understand.” You covered your face with both hands. “He’ll never stop.”
Your sister went very still.
Then, carefully, “Do you think he’d hurt you?”
You thought of the kitchen. The terrace. The phone calls. The gifts. The impossible exactness with which he inserted himself into your life without ever giving the world a clear bruise to look at.
“He thinks he loves me,” you said.
She did not answer.
That was answer enough.
//
Valarr knew fear was a delicate instrument.
Too much and people fled beyond reason. Too little and they grew reckless.
He did not want you broken.
He wanted you pliant.
The line mattered.
He stood in his office on the top floor of the family’s building in King's Landing, one hand resting on the back of a leather chair as his chief of staff outlined the latest issue with a Westeros acquisition. Floor-to-ceiling windows showed the city spread beneath them in winter gray. The office smelled faintly of espresso and paper and expensive wood polish. Everything in it was clean-lined and old-blood elegant. His grandfather’s signet ring glinted on one long finger as he listened.
He made three fast decisions, signed two documents, and barely registered any of it.
His mind was elsewhere.
On you.
On the photo feed from the external building cameras at your sister’s block. On the report from the investigator confirming you had not returned to your own apartment since the note. On the message from his housekeeper that he had not eaten the dinner laid out in the townhouse kitchen, because appetite had become an irritation.
“You’re distracted,” his chief of staff said when the meeting ended.
Valarr looked up.
The older man had worked for his family since before Valarr was born. He was one of the few people who spoke plainly to him.
“I’m bored,” Valarr replied.
“With the acquisition?”
“With all of it.”
The older man studied him. “This is about the girl.”
Valarr’s expression cooled almost imperceptibly.
“She has a name.”
“I know.” The man paused. “You should let this end.”
“Should I?”
“Yes.”
Valarr smiled.
It was not a pleasant smile.
“I am not asking for moral guidance.”
“You are risking sloppiness.”
That landed more than the moral judgment would have.
Valarr went silent.
He knew the man was not entirely wrong. He had grown careless in his frustration. Allowing himself to call you directly. Appearing at the gala. Sending the scarf instead of merely letting you wonder. Small indulgences. Emotional ones.
And emotional decisions were beneath him.
He straightened a paper on his desk that did not need straightening.
“I know my limits.”
“Do you?”
Valarr’s gaze lifted.
The older man held it for a moment, then nodded once and left without another word.
When the door shut, silence filled the office.
Valarr moved to the window.
Far below, the city continued indifferent and bright and ugly. People rushed through intersections with coffee in paper cups and scarves at their throats. Cabs honked. Somewhere a siren wailed. The machinery of ordinary life.
You wanted that.
That was the insult.
You wanted the smallness of it. The vulnerability. The inconvenience. A life where you were not adored properly, not sheltered properly, not watched over by a man powerful enough to bend circumstances around you.
He could have forgiven a lot.
Not that.
His phone buzzed.
A message from his investigator.
She’s going back to the apartment today. Noon. Alone.
Valarr read it once.
Then again.
A slow calm settled over him.
At last.
He picked up his coat.
//
Tumblr did let me post this all in one so I had to split this into two parts. I hope you enjoyed!
You’re inferior. You are meant to worship the bottom of my feet. It’s not a “relapse,” rather simply accepting your true self.
Enfants Riches Deprimes SS25 shot at Paris Fashionweek
Your accommodation? Compact, cosy and definitely in a well sought after part of town. Lady Phoenix is your gracious landlady…..
