New magical girl just dropped
“New magical girl just dropped.” J placed a newspaper on the coffee table in the first-floor lounge of the Villains Union. It was a simple setup that consisted of a couch, a matching lounge chair, a lamp, and the coffee table. Garfield perked up from his spot on the chair. He had been looking at superheroes' Instagram accounts and silently judging. The recent one had decided to wear white pants after Labor Day, which was not a hard rule Garfield abided by, but he was also at a park supposedly rescuing some kitten. Who wears white pants to a park?
“Volatile things those creatures.” Cerulean sat on the side of the couch furthest away from Garfield with a book on thermodynamics and pyrokinesis. He hardly looked up as he reached for it. His eyes narrowed when Garfield jumped to it first.
“Ooh! What’s the theme of this one?” All magical girls appeared with a theme of some sort.
“Strawberries I think?” J took a seat on the arm of Garfield’s chair looking over his shoulder as he looked at the paper. The newspaper had a big image of the girl who did in fact have a strawberry-themed dress along with a matching jacket and hairband. “She’s the fourth berry-themed hero to appear in the last month.”
“Sounds like a berry-themed villain has been up to a lot of nonsense for four of them to appear in a month.” Jack Hallow was lounged into the unoccupied side of the couch and glanced at the newspaper in Garfield’s hands.
The front door to the union opened causing the group to look up as Veronica walked in with a tall and lanky man who could best be described as dark cottagecore and could worst be described as a decrepit-looking pedophile.
“And there’s their bad guy,” Jack said under his breath as the two approached them.
“Gentlemen,” Veronica made steely eye contact with Jack, “Jack. This is our newest union member, Brambledark.” The man- Brambledark stood up taller than before and the dark vines that wound his arms seemed to move as if there was a draft.
“Hello, it is a pleasure to meet all of you. I have come here to solve the problem of my minions being destroyed by some of your heroic miscreants.”
“You’re from out of Jam aren’t you?” Jack asked in a way that implied he already knew the answer. It was sentiment lost on Brambledark.
“Yes. I am from the ancient dark grove of Cynthium where I have been researching the mystical berries of light.” None of this information was particularly interesting for any of the group although J did their best to feign interest. Garfield was mostly appalled by the foliage that appeared to be Brambledark’s outfit.
“You two hear about the newest magical girl?”
“Magical girl?” The tall mess of dark leaves questioned. “I thought magic was common here?”
Jack and Cerulean gave each other a look that ran along the lines of, ‘this poor idiot has no idea he’s going to be beat up by a group of sparkly girls’.
“Magical girls are girls who randomly receive great powers usually from some magical artifcast or familiar.” J explained.
“Emphasis on ‘girl’.” Jack snatched the paper from Garfield who hardly noticed as he was too busy taking mental notes of all the things he hated about Brambledark's appearance.
“Because they are female?”
“Because they are children.”
“The new girl is actual trans.” J piped in.
“Yay for representation,” Jack said sarcastically waving one of his hands in fake excitement.
“How old is the new girl?” Veronica left the new recruit to sit next to Jack and see the paper for herself. J opened his mouth to speak but Jack got to it first.
“Fifteen?!” Bramble’s gapped in shock.
“One of the older ones actually,” Jack handed the paper to Veronica, “youngest was eight if you’re wondering.” Bramble stared in shock and walked over to the wall for support.
“I actually went to highschool with a magical girl. She was super popular.” Garfield said as he finally pulled himself from looking at Bramble.
“Oh! Which one?” J asked.
Veronica abruptly dropped the paper to her lap.
“You went to highschool with Allison Crystalis?”
“Yeah.” Garfield sounded uneasy as all eyes focused on him in a mix of surprise and suspicion.
“Isn’t she in the sidekick program now?” J asked trying to divert the conversation.
“Isn’t she still in highschool?” Jack asked closing in on Garfield. Cerulean seemed focused on doing the math in his head while Garfield tried to sink into the chair. “How old are you?”
Garfield mumbled something under his breath.
“Nineteen.” He said just loud enough for the group to hear. Jack burst out laughing. Veronica and Cerulean were clearly surprised and Bramble looked like he was about to faint.
“You’re only nineteen?! How did you even get in the union?!” Veronica stood up and started to pace.
“The cutoff is only eighteen,” J mentioned.
“I am an adult.” Garfield protested standing up.
“You are a teenager. How are you even allowed to fight?” Bramble stammered.
“Come on you two.” Jack managed to pull himself together from his laughing fit. “It’s the Villain’s Union, what do you expect? So what he’s a kid? He’s still doing some pretty damn good work for his age and I’d rather him here than not. Besides it could be worse.”
“How could it be worse?” Bramble asked.
“He could be losing to a group of middle schoolers.”
“Has someone here lost to a group of middle schoolers?”
Jack smiled coyly at Bramble, “Not yet.”