So my spouse found these yesterday at the store, and decided to give them a go. My take is the taste is ok, they are certainly thinner than I like my Porter and stouts. They certainly taste like something is missing, but that also may be because of the can. I would certainly not pass them up if handed one like I do for most "American" beer. They are good enough that if I was going someplace where I could no have booze, they would certainly be aquired and brought along, especially since the one on the left is only 50 Cal. It was also the one I preferred this evening.
This though, it's not why I am posting. There is more to the story. Some of you may have noticed among the few self portraits I post, ( or if you read the comic), that I've lost a considerable amount of weight in the last nine months. 40 pounds. This is because of a dietary happier habbit change. For example, there are now vegetations in my daily digestion. I've also learned that I make a phenomenal salads. This week I used only cabbages, peppers, cucumbers, nuts and seeds for the week. My salad servings are approximately 4 cups in size judging by the containers I'm eating them out of. That's quite a bit of cabbages. Purple and green. Quite a few cucumbers and red and yellow peppers. They are really fresh too, nice and crisp and crunchy. Snap in your mouth like and overshot cliche salad bar ad from the 80s. Good strong salad with protein, and a spices blend from Port Townsend called pirate blend. A salad more than capable of defending itself again a strong cup of coffee. So the Stout and Porter didn't stand a chance. Not that they didn't try. I felt every blow for a good 20 minutes. Finally the beers teamed up, got in a lucky punch out two, and took out the salad.
At first I thought "Oh thank the maker" and proceeded to fill a cup up with water for my metamucil. Less than one second later I realised that they didn't simply knock the salad out, they killed it and decided to dump the body. As I stirred the Tang disguised bowel cleaner, I heard the wife exclaim from the other room, "oh, I should makes some of that too", I thought, Oh shit, and immediately turned to face away from the entry and proceeded to drink my orange fiber. As she came into the kitchen she stopped midsentence, very much like a freight train doesn't, but the polar opposite.
Sniff. process new information. Sniff sniff. Confirm new information...
I spun further away from her direction, but she could see the don't laugh don't laugh don't laugh don't laugh don't laugh don't laugh expression in my body language.
Did you fart?
I was now no longer able to drink my fiber. I choked. She laughed. I laughed. Our eyes watered at each other. I like to think because it was one of those really good laughs that you can use as cheap therapy, but we didn't have a therapist. More statements were made about choking and the smell of ham. And more tears. By the time I was able to drink my fiber again it was like over night pancake batter.
So my words of wisdom, the whole point of this essay, drink your metamucil faster and don't let it sit.