#bravere

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breathe.

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sometimes i envy those who can proudly say who they are. i just can't.

some asks me how am i but i can't even answer them simply because what would i tell them? the easier - i'm okay or something that i don't even know if i can trust them with? usually, i am an open book. but life happened. you realize that some will stab you at your back. or that friends aren't even a single bit close to that. so, who would you tell your truth?

the toughest of these is the endless fight to do what they can when you can't. and yes, the unimaginable pain that you don't even know where it comes from. sometimes, it's so strong that it can break your barrier of "normal".

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"how are you?"

only those who know me or are not in denial like my mom knows the real answer.

don't get me wrong. she loves me. gazillion times. she just thinks that i'm okay. and everything will be okay. even if hirap na hirap na ako and i don't even know if i can even last up to another day.

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sa halos isang buwan di ko pagtulog..

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;

laging iisipin na titiisin nila ang lahat makasama ka lang.

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MELTDOWN

emotional breakdowns are the hardest. it's tiring. it leaves you hopeless. that you just want to end it - even your life. it's the worst.

a lot of times, it also comes with pain. you have this uncontrollable ugly feeling that if i could make it stop, i would.

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from now on, i will be brave. brave enough not to hold on and to tell My truth.