"They dance in complicated lies around each other, caring and not, affectionate and distant, far too much strain on the heartstrings of emotion until the day that Levi finally snaps." ~
If I recall correctly, I was feeling kind of gloomy that day, and that particular fill (canonverse of Erwin rejecting Levi) had been sitting in my inbox for a bit, and I thought it would match my mood relatively well.
In my opinion, Levi would probably be the first to push something beyond the limits of reasonableness; he’s not one to play games, especially not those that involve more subtle things like emotion. Levi would most likely rather want to get things set out and straight, whereas Erwin in this particular drabble might be more concerned with maintaining the status quo and a proper divide between professional and personal relations.
I wanted to have those sorts of extreme comparisons: “caring and not, affectionate and distant,” to sort of add another layer to the strain that might tug in opposite directions to make a string unravel. emotions are complicated, horrendously so (at least to me), and I think it would be particularly hard in this setting for two people to admit their love to each other. Perhaps Erwin thinks it’s a bit selfish, to harbor feelings like that, when he’s writing letters of consolation to broken families, and perhaps Levi thinks that they need something to cling on to in times of desperation.
>send me a snippet of one of my fics/drabbles and I’ll tell you what I was thinking about when i wrote it
