A/N: Just so we are clear, I'm not purposefully picking white girls to play the role! I'm just picking cute photos! - Also, there are more quadruplet images of Caucasian babies smh lol, but I will use POC photos as well! It's Y/N series, not an x person series so the skin color will more than likely not stay consistent!
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"Babe, I can see you sweating from here" Harry chuckled, walking towards me from the car.
Harry dropped me off at the automatic doors, the awkward wait and stares at my belly making me uncomfortable as he parked the car.
“Shut up! It’s fucking hot, Harry” I groaned, Harry intertwining our hands the welcomed AC
Checking in for something other than a pap smear and a stomach virus felt weird.
I turned to look up at Harry as he filled out one of the forms, passing the front desk woman our insurance car, a grin on my face as it started to set in why we were here.
I was here for a baby. My baby. We were pregnant. I'm getting a checkup and an ultrasound.
Harry kept his hand in mine as we walked the halls, reaching the OBYN waiting room, quite a few pregnant people and there partners were sat. A few girls were on their own, and one girl had another girl sat next to her, both of them looking over a baby must haves magazine.
"Let's sit over here" Harry murmured quietly, dragging me towards a back cornered area of the waiting room next to a kids activity table.
"Aw!" I cooed, "Look how small" I pointed at the little kid chairs and coloring books.
I felt the waterworks start, Harry chuckling as he snatched a coloring book off the table along with a box of crayons.
"What are you doing?" I asked, pulling myself back together, sitting down next to him.
"Coloring" he replied like it was obvious.
"It's a kids coloring book"
"So"
"Oh my god" I laughed, Harry flipping through the book, landing on a page of a cat with a mermaid tail
Harry colored the page, ignoring my teasing comments, passing me a crayon to join him before my name was called, the nurse grinning as Harry set the coloring book and crayons back on the table.
"If you can just step on the scale real quick. Would you like to know your weight or not?" She asked, respecting that I opted out, marking down the numbers before leading us to one of the rooms.
I thought getting STD tested was scary, but answering nurses questions for your file when you're pregnant is way scarier.
What if my numbers are too high? or low? What I have some weird blood type that is going to corrupt this child? What if I already had a bad weight gain? What if I'm already on the road to some sort of high risk pregnancy like diabetes or preeclampsia?
"Y/N? You have to uncross your legs and relax babe" Harry noted, the blood pressure cuff getting strapped around my bicep.
I sighed, nodding as I tried to relax, hating feeling the cuff tighten around my arm.
Did it have to hurt so much?
When the nurse confirmed that I was pregnant, my heart dropped to my stomach, the feeling of needing to throw up causing my throat to tighten.
There was a huge smile on Harry's face as the nurse continued to explain the next steps, but all I could think about was;
I'm pregnant.
I have a baby inside of me.
I'm in charge of another human. This humans life is in my hands. In my womb.
"Hey, hey, hey!" Harry rushed, pushing himself out of the chair and to my aid, "breathe. in, out" Harry coax, catching the nurses attention.
I did some deep breathing, getting myself to calm down, Harry's hand squeezing my own when he mouthed "Are you okay?" to which I nodded, only for the nurse to ask me if this was an unwanted baby.
"It's in your chart that you've been trying?" She asked, sounding confused.
"We have" Harry confirmed, the nurse looking over at me, confused.
"I just.. I'm pregnant" I spoke softly, Harry's brow furrowing. "I'm excited... but I'm.. I'm terrified. It's all on my shoulders to keep this baby safe. I'm just.."
"Y/N, breathe" Harry inhaled, then exhaled, having me follow him.
"I'm sorry" my voice cracked, my eyes stinging as tears threatened to rush down my cheeks.
I'm already a horrible mother.
I can't even act excited in front of the nurse.
"It's natural to be nervous" the nurse eased, my slight nod and Harry's soothing knuckle motion hopefully being enough to calm my nervous system. "You can be over the moon and terrified all at the same time. It's perfectly normal" He continued.
"I know.. I just.." I chewed my lower lip, "What if something happens? I mean, it's a miracle I'm pregnant to begin with and now.. and now that it's actually happened how do I make sure I don't mess it up?"
"Mrs. Styles, we're going to do our best and make sure you and your baby are healthy. Sometimes things happen, and it's never the mother's fault-"
"But it's my bodies fault" I interrupted, not daring to look at Harry.
"Sometimes things happen-"
"Because of my body. I can't have a baby" I interrupted again.
"And you're pregnant" the nurse's head nodded, my lips pursing.
"But I shouldn't be"
"It's not that you shouldn't be. No doctor told you it's suggested that you shouldn't be. You were told it was be hard to be; but not impossible, and look, now you're pregnant! We're going to keep watch, do our best to protect you and your baby and hopefully things go to plan. You can't worry too much though Mrs. Styles. The elevated blood pressure can risk you getting quite a handful of pregnancy complications" He warned and that alone was sending me into a mental hurricane.
When it came time for the ultrasound, Harry was giddy beyond belief.
I was as well, but I knew I'd be more excited once I was told that everything looked okay.
That me, and baby were okay.
Worse case scenario, I'm somehow miscarrying. Somewhat worst case is the pregnancy tests were false and my biggest fear that was forming a pit in my stomach was that I was pregnant, but I had some sort of detached egg and placenta thing, creating a high risk and or termination of pregnancy.
What if this was my one chance, and it didn't happen properly and I have to terminate it?
I don't think I'll survive that.
Harry called "Come in" when a knock sounded on the door, a youngish looking woman greeting us with a chart in her hand.
I laid back, the gel getting spread on my stomach, Harry taking a photo which made me laugh.
"Your fans would lose their minds if they knew you took selfies" I teased, the ultrasound technician smiling as turned on the machine.
"What they don't know won't kill them" he grinned, shoving his phone back in his pocket when I grabbed mine, returning the favor to record his reaction to seeing the baby.
"Are you guys ready?" She asked, the two of us nodding, our attention now on the tiny black and white static screen.
"Here's baby" She pointed, the little flick of a bean catching our immediate attention, "and... here's heartbeat" She pushed in on a button, the woosh sounding making our ears perk and our grins widen.
"What do you think, baby?" I asked, turning to look at Harry, seeing an overwhelming look of adoration towards the little screen, my heart melting right then and there.
I can't wait to watch him with the baby. He's going to be the best father ever.
With lack of reply, I turned back to look at the screen, wishing the baby was bigger so I could truly appreciate what was actually inside of me.
The wooshing noise stopped, my eyes snapping to look at the technician as she turned the screen towards herself.
I could feel my heart thump against my chest as I glanced over towards Harry who seemed worried, but was appearing to try very hard not to let it show.
"Everything okay?" I carefully asked, the technician humming.
"Baby's fine" she replied, "Um" she turned the screen back to us, "Do you guys see this?" She asked, pointing at the little bean, both of us nodding, "And do you see this?" She flipped screens, showing another bean. Harry's head tilting as I nodded slowly, also confused.
"That's the same, right?" I asked, the tech staying quiet.
"Do you see this one?" She asked, now my heart was really beating out of my chest.
What was happening?
Was this some kind of sick joke?
"You see here, each one has their own sack.." she pointed at three didn't placenta sacks.
"Yeah.."
"I uh, you're having triplets" She announced, my body stilling as Harry's eyes widened slightly, lips parted out of shock. "Here's baby A... baby B... baby C" She noted, the little letters showing up on the screen before she took a picture.
"There's three? Three babies?" Harry asked, the tech nodding as she went back to the video screen, moving around to show each one.
"Three's three"
"How- what?" I stumbled, leaning up on my elbows to try and get a closer look.
There is no way in hell there are three babies inside my fucking womb right now.
"There's just three, right?" Harry asked, my eyes widening at the possibly of more.
I'm going to be fucking huge.
"I'm not a golden retriever, Harry! I can't have a litter" I panicked.
I wasn't even supposed to have one baby, and now I'm having three?!
THREE?!!!!!!!
"I can only see three" She confirmed. "There could be one or two hidden behind one of the other ones-"
"MORE?!" I freaked.
"But that's rare" She finished, my eyes practically popping out of my head as I started to laugh.
"You're joking right? That's just like.. some prank you do on new parents? Ha ha.. jokes funny. It's just one, right?" I freaked, Harry's hand finding mine, the tech shaking her head.
"I'm not pulling your leg. It's triplets at least" She said, my body falling back on the exam bed.
Triplets.
Fucking triplets.
How the fuck am I gonna carry triplets?!
BIRTH TRIPLETS?!
No.
No I can't.
I can't birth triplets.
"Do I have to birth them all? Induvially?!" I worried aloud.
"It's extremely rare due to complications. You have a extremely if not guaranteed confirmation of a c-section"
"I can't have a VBAC next time right? if there is a next time? if I want a next time.." I rushed out, the idea of not having the dream vaginal birth was making my heart feel crushed.
I knew I shouldn't have hopes and dreams, especially since this wasn't supposed to happen period.. but I can't help it.
If it was one baby, or maybe even two... I could've possibly had a vaginal delivery, right? Like that could've been a possibility?
"Let's cross that road when we get there" She chuckled and I sighed, my eyes falling shut.
I could hear the tone of Harry's voice, the vibration it caused in my ears, but I couldn't make out the actual words as tears begun to roll down my cheeks.
I'm having triplets.
Three babies.
Three babies are growing inside of me.
T h r e e b a b a i e s a r e g r o w i n g i n s i d e o f m e
I have to raise three children at once. Of the same age. Forever.
Oh my god.
"Babe, I can see the smoke coming out of your ears from here" he snickered, "Quit thinking so hard"
I rolled my eyes, my hands coming up to cover my eyes.
"You're positive it's three?" I asked again, the tech confirming for what was probably the fourth or fifth time since I blacked out whatever Harry said.
I left the appointment with my brain spiraling and a few pregnancy pamphlets in hand, Harry already googling the recommended websites.
"Wait, it says that multiples rarely go to full term, meaning... we have like........ way less time than normal" he finished, making me laugh at his lack of words.
"Aren't you scared?" I asked, turning to face him as he scrolled through his phone.
"Scared? Sure. The excitement overshadows it though"
"How does the excitement overshadow the fear?" I genuinelly asked, baffled by how his emotions were a complete 180 to my own.
"Because we went from day and night worrying about not having any kids, to having three, Y/N. I mean, that's insane! A whirlwind if you will, but it's exciting! We're having three babies!"
I stayed quiet, Harry rambling the entire drive home about how we have so many more names to pick out now, and asking me if we were having one nursery, or a gendered nursery or even giving them each their own nursery.
Saying I was overwhelmed was an understatment.
♡ liked by: annetwist, yourbff, harrystyles and 15,859 others ynstyles: Throwback to our first ultrasound! @harrystyles and I love our little family so much already 🙈❤️
annetwist: Christmas is gonna be even more special this year ❤️🎄
↪ harryfan1: @/annetwist OMG DOES THAT MEAN IT'LL BE HERE BY CHRISTMAS?!
yourbff: My new bff, sorry YN lol
↪ ynstyles: @/yourbff Gunna have to fight @/harrystyles lol
yourbff: @/harrystyles Can you fight though?! 👊🏽
↪ harrystyles: @/yourbff for my family? Definitely
↪ yourbff: @/harrystyles BET
↪ harrystyles: @/yourbff BET
↪ yourbff: BET X2
↪ harryfan2: @/yourbff @/harrystyles screaming crying throwing up
harrystyles: This was the best day ever ❤️
↪ harryfan3: @/harrystyles WHERES THE H YOU IMPOSTER
↪ ynstyles: @/harrystyles yeah, where's the H
↪ harrystyles: @/ynstyles H
An: It's still four! They just don't know that yet!! - just to clarify lol
ynstyles: Sitting in the OBGYN I'm so bored lol. Ask me questions!! #askboredyn
harryfan1: What is the worst thing you've experienced so far? - I'm scared of pregnancy 🙈 #askboredyn
↳ ynstyles: @harryfan1 Morning sickness sucks!! I hate feeling sick 😭 (Anyone got remedies? #help)
harryfan2: Will you be public with your pregnancy / baby? #askboredyn
↳ ynstyles: @harryfan2 Atm somewhat public? I don't want to hide it, but pregnancy is a scary thing and being too public is nerve racking atm
harryfan3: Is Harry with you? #askboredyn
↳ ynstyles: Always 💞
harryfan4: Do you and Harry want a boy or girl? #askboredyn
↳ ynstyles: @harryfan4 As cliché as it sounds, we just want a healthy baby!
↳ynstyles @harryfan4 (I want a boy, Harry wants a girl shh) You guys hear something?? 🤷🏽♀️
harryfan5: @harryfan4 YOU GOT TWO REPLIES NO FAIR
harryfan6: Who did you tell first besides Harry? #askboredyn
↳ ynstyles: @harryfan6 @annetwist ❤️
harrystyles: #askboredyn Do you need to pee?
↳ harryfan7: @harrystyles omg haha #preggoprobs
↳ ynstyles: @harrystyles Are you tweeting from the restroom? And no Xx
↳ harryfan8: @/ynstyles girlie it's barely a nude! lol @/harrystyles
harryfan9: Weirdest thing @/harrystyles does? #askboredyn
↳ ynstyles: @harryfan9 Picks his nose and he eats it
↳ harrystyles: @/ynstyles I DO NOT
↳ ynstyles: @/harrystyles Lies
↳ harrystyles: @/ynstyles Can we both get off our phones so those ladies quit looking at us?
~
"Are you excited to see our babies?" Harry asked, a giddy feeling in my stomach.
"Look how big my tummy is" I grinned, pushing my shirt up to rest under my boobs, shifting a little. "I thought I was quite big for the first trimester"
"You're housing our beautiful babies in that perfect round tummy"
"I can't wait to feel them kick or move" I sighed, Harry's hand resting towards the lower side of my stomach.
"You say that now, just wait till they're kicking your bladder babe" He teased, leaning down to peck my lips.
With the absurdly cold gel on my stomach, Harry and I focused back on the black and white static screen, our male tech flipping the switch to hear their heartbeats.
"Here is baby A's heartbeat............................. baby B's........................... and baby C's"
Harry and I coo'd over them each when a familiar look appeared on the tech's face.
"Baby A" he hummed, flicking to the next one "Baby B" to the next, "Baby C" and... the next? "Mothers?" his tone was wavered. "Baby A... Baby B... Baby C.." he did it again before excusing himself from the room to grab the doctor and now I was royally freaking out.
One of the on call doctors came in, Harry's hand squeezing mine as tears threatened to fall, the screen turned away from us.
Was something wrong?
With quiet hums and the click of a mouse, the screen was turned back to us, the ultrasound technician standing to the side; "Alright, everything is looking good" She eased, my tightened chest slowly letting air back in. A grin started to appear on the doctors face, Harry's fingers intertwining with my own, his rings rubbing against the insides of my fingers. "Here is beautiful baby one's heartbeat" She smiled, showing the little flutter before showing us the baby. "Here is baby two" she repeated, "baby three" her smile got bigger as she flipped to the next screen, "And baby four"
Excuse me?
Harry's hand stilled in mine as my lips parted, my throat clearing as my head shook, "What?"
"Here is baby one-" she started to repeat, my head continuing to shake.
"No, no, I heard you.. four? Four?!" I begin to panic again, this time Harry not attempting to stop me as he leaned back in the chair.
"Yes, four" She confirmed, my shocked gaze staring at the new babies placenta sack, the tiny fetus shocking me to my core.
"How? It was.. it was three, last time! How is there four? Just four?" I rushed, moving to lean up on my elbows to view the screen better.
"Just four"
"You sure?" I snapped, the doctor nodding.
"How? How is there four?!"
"Mrs. Styles, sometimes with so many multiples, it's hard to see them all. They get overshadowed, or hidden-"
"There's just four, right?" I asked again, the doctor nodding. "How are you sure? We thought there was just three last time!"
"Like I said, sometimes-"
"No, I heard you! I'm just... four?! There's four?"
"Yes, you're having quadruplets"
"Oh my god" I exhaled, my body falling back as my eyes closed.
How in the hell am I supposed to carry FOUR babies?! F O U R ?!
"Your due date will be moved closer-"
"Oh my god! My due date!" I gasped, turning to look at Harry whom seemed to be caught in a state of disbelief as his body went catatonic.
"You'll be induced, pardon-" her throat cleared, "scheduled for a cesarean surgical procedure around 30 weeks"
My eyes widened.
"30 weeks?! THAT'S 10 WEEKS EARLY!" I yelled, Harry seeming to be snapped out of whatever state he was caught in, "They'll be too small!" I worried, the doctor moving to step closer to me, reaching for my hand only for my instinctive reaction being to yank it away. "I can't have four babies at 30 weeks! They'll be too small! They're.. they're supposed to be inside of me till 40 weeks!"
"With twins we try to induce you around 35 weeks. With more, we move it up, so triplets like you know would've been 33 weeks, and quads, 30" She explained, my racing heartrate causing my breathing to become a pant.
Frantically looking over at Harry who was staring at the ultrasound screen with a bewildered look on his face, I looked back over at the ultrasound technician, then the doctor, "I can't carry four babies" I stated, the doctors face becoming unreadable.
"You can. You're healthy enough-"
"No. You don't understand. I can't carry four babies"
"Why do you believe you cannot?" She asked, the room starting to move and blur as my waterline was ready to overflow.
"I.. I knew the risk... the risk of carrying.. carrying.. one baby!" I whimpered, "And then and then I was told.. told.. told I had three! Three babies! When I wasn't even supposed to have one!" I cried, "And now.. now... now I have four! Four babies inside of me?! Do I look.. look like someone who can carry FOUR babies?!" I shrieked, rubbing at my eyes so I could see clearly.
"Mrs. Styles, if we, medical professionals, didn't think you could safely carry multiples, we'd be having a different discussion" She tried to explain, the faint sound of one of my babies heartbeats ringing in my ears.
"Y/N? What are you saying?" Harry asked softly, finally zoning back into the conversation. "You can't have an abortion- they already have heartbeats" He said softly, the nerves he was feeling made his voice wavier slightly.
"I don't want an abortion" I cried, "I just... I can't carry four babies!"
The room was quiet other than my whimpers and whines; the faint sound of the heartbeat and Harry's chair scooting back against the linoleum floor.
He grabbed my hand, carefully moving me to sit upright before pulling me into his chest, "Harry, the gel" I worried, Harry ignoring me as my front pressed against one of his shirts.
"Inhale" he breathed in, "Exhale" he breathed out, having me copy him before he crouched in front of me, his hands resting on top of my thighs, eye level with my - bigger than normal for first trimester - belly. "There are four beautiful, loved, and wanted babies in here. I know you're scared, Y'N. I'm scared shitless too, but we can do this. We'll work with the doctors, make sure everything goes smoothly, and if it doesn't, they have everything they need to do their best job at helping us. We can't play god, Y/N. We can't change the world, or alter fate... but you found out at 23 years old that you'd have a hard time conceiving and I know how hard that was to find out, and live with. To get in a relationship where both of us wanted kids, to get married, and not follow through with that next step broke your heart, baby. It broke you into pieces. Your darkest days- You're getting what you wanted, babe. You have four beautiful babies right here" his hands moved to cradle the sides of my stomach, "Quadruple the amount you were told you'd have, and if you couldn't do it, if it wasn't meant to be, then we would've been looking at different painted colors, baby. We're lucky enough to be okay. To know we can support them, to know we have the means, the house, the yard, the family... we can do this. You are single handily carrying our family, and I know how terrifying that is" I wiped at my tears, Harry moving to stand on his feet, bringing me back into his chest, "But you're not alone. You've never been alone, Y/N." He kissed my lips, moving to cradle my face in his hands, "One step at a time, baby, remember?"
He wiped my tears as I nodded, leaning my head on his chest, "One step at a time" I repeated, my chin resting against his chest as I looked up at him, "I can't believe we have four babies...."
I heard a chuckle in front of me, reminding me that we weren't alone.
I pushed away from Harry, embarrassingly wiping at my face, apologizing to the professionals in front of me.
I could feel the heat radiating off of my cheeks when I was asked to lay back again as more gel got applied and moved around with the wand.
She mouthed something to Harry, to which he nodded at, before telling me, "I just want to check each one a little closer, get some photos and then we'll talk about our next steps, okay?" She asked calmly and I nodded.
I left the office hand in hand with Harry; Harry holding even more medical paraphernalia as I held onto the ultra sound photos and my bag.
"I knew IVF was known for being one of the main causes of multiples but... I never expected it to go this far. I mean, I guess we're lucky it stopped at four, right?" I joked, Harry opening the passenger side door for me, letting me hop in before closing it, muttering "Hopefully" and entering the car himself.
Follow Y/N + Harry's journey from being a family of two, to a family of six! Also know as, Harry + Y/N have quadruplets!
This series will contain blurbs, social media posts, interviews and everything family + fame!
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harrystyles and ynstyles
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♡ liked by: annetwist, niallhoran, liampayne, and 3,765,874 others
harrystyles: Been busy on break
annetwist: I can't wait!!
gemmastyles: I've already bought onesies 🙈💞
liampayne: Welcome to the club, mate!
ynstyles: You owe me £5 for not spilling the beans!
harryfan1: OMG WHAT
harryfan2: She said.. I'm having your baby!
↳ harryfan3: And it's ALL OF HIS BUSINESS OMG
harryfan4: Guys... we're getting dadrry. I repeat, we're getting dadrry!
ynstyles
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ynstyles: First trimester diaries! 🍼
First things first, finding out your pregnant, at least.. when you're trying, is the best feeling ever!!!! Harry and I took so many photos and videos (far too personal to share, (See slide four to see me on the verge of screaming and crying over the fact that I'm pregnant lol) you see me cry enough as it is lol) and we sat on the bathroom floor in pure happiness and disbelief. (and a lot of concern on my end..) I couldn't stop looking at my stomach and bubbling nonsense to Harry as we began our true first steps into parenthood. (I'll eventually talk about our journey, but if you're new, it hasn't been an easy one💝) As we watched my stomach grow, we couldn't stop touching it! The idea of feeling a kick, or a flutter... or even just the thought of a baby inside of me; pure happiness. (Pst, Harry sleeps with his hand on my belly and it's my new favorite thing ever!!!! It's so cute!!!)
For those wondering, Morning sickness is brutal. I'm already losing sleep, vomiting my guts even in the middle of the night and much to my dismay, awakening Harry every time I scurry to the bathroom. (If Harry looks extra tired on camera, I apologize! - he'll tell me off for this, shh!)
Tiredness is unreal. I mean, I figured growing a human would be hard, but I'm convinced I'm asleep more than I am awake. I wake up, vomit, eat some crackers take my meds, sleep repeat.
Ultrasounds are the craziest experience ever!! Harry and I lost our minds and Harry's soft smile when we saw the screen is burned in my brain forever. He's honestly already such a good husband but I know he's going to be an even better father! I honestly can't wait!!
@harrystyles I love you so much! Thank you for making me a mumma <3
annetwist: Congrats! I'm excited to finally talk about it!
yourbff: I can't believe you didn't tell me for 3 weeks smh
↳ ynstyles: It was unbearable for me too!
comments on this post have been limited
~
"Love, staring at it won't make the line appear quicker" Harry tried to ease, his hand on my back as my eyes laser locked on the pregnancy test.
"The line has to show at some point!"
Harry snatched the test off the counter, my mouth a gape, ready to throw protest when he grabbed my hand and led me to sit down on the cold tile with him.
"Harry! Give me the test!" I whined, my tear ducts filling as the past couple months of worry begun to spill over.
"Y/N, babe, just sit down with me. We're dong this together, alright?"
I reluctantly sat next to him, Harry setting the test on his thigh, his right hand clasping my left as we stared down at it.
"What if it's just one line?" I asked softly, my biggest fear being vocalized once again.
"Then we'll try again" He repeated instantly, a singular tear rolling down my cheek.
"Harry, it's our sixth round in three years" I cried, my eyes squeezing shut as the emotion left glistening trails down my cheeks.
"Y/N, we don't have to do it again" He told me calmly his thumb rubbing against my knuckles, something he did frequently to quietly soothe me.
"You already know how I feel about adoption" I whimpered, guilt encasing my chest as I slowly opened my eyes, my blurred vision attempting to peak at the test.
"I know" He replied, not offering much else as he starred at the test.
"I'm a horrible person" I begin to cry again, taking my hand out of his as I covered my face.
"You're not a horrible person, y/n"
"What woman doesn't want to adopt, Harry?! We could! We could have already had a family! What kind of person is afraid too adopt?!"
"A person whose thought about every avenue. Y/N, it's perfectly normal to want what you want. Can you open your eyes please when I talk to you?" He asked, His green eyes were full of hope, my throat tightening as I glanced away. "Y/N" Harry warned, getting me to look back at him. "I know you're afraid of everything that comes with adoption, and if it's a huge fear of yours, whether it's that you won't love them the same, or they won't love you, or all of the separation issues you've read about.. it's just a different journey that we'd take together. We'd figure it out. You're not the first person to be nervous to adopt if that's a path we need to consider. However we start our family, is how we start our family. I know having a biological baby means a lot to you, but if that's not where life takes us, I think we both need to prepare ourselves to come to terms with that" He told me honestly, my lips pursed as I nodded.
It was true.
As horrific as it made me feel, I was afraid that if I adopted, I wouldn't love that child the same way I would my own. Maybe it was silly.. but my dream was to always have a baby of my own, and now that it's became an entire ordeal including medical professionals and obsessive calendar counting, I knew I needed to let my brain dance with the idea again... but could I really do that to a child? Bring them into this loving home.. and not love them the way they deserved? Would I ever view that baby as my own? Or would it feel more like a godparent babysitting situation?
IVF has been a rough path that Harry and I have walked down. One we didn't take lightly, and one we definitely probably over researched before even attempting such feat.. but with all the cons.. there were the pros.
So we tried, and we tried, an we tried.... and we gave up. Adoption maybe? Foster care? Surrogacy? Egg donors? There was a million routes.. but none of them felt like my dream. I wanted to have sex one night and wake up pregnant the next morning with my husbands child, and I struggle a lot with the fact that that isn't how it's happening.
It would be so easier if I could blame Harry, and his annoying sperm.. but the reality is, Harry is perfectly capiable impregnating someone.
I'm the problem.
Learning that you're supposed sole duty of a period every month wasn't even worth it... definitely landed me in some pretty intense therpary.
There has been more dark days than light for both Harry and I.
I'd be lying if I said divorce had never crossed our minds.
Things got bad, before they got good again and now here I sat next to him, wedding band on my finger as tears streamed down my cheeks, ready to be once again disappointed by my body.
"Can we just see what this test says and go from there, please?" I asked quietly, Harry nodding. "Can you look? My eyes are blurry"
I did my best to clear my vision when I heard the inhale of Harry's sharp breathing.
"What?" I asked, panic making my body tense. "What?!"
"It's two lines! Y/N! You're pregnant!" He practically yelled, my entire body stilling.
"What?"
"YOU'RE PREGNANT!" He yelled, scurrying off the floor, helping me up and yanking me into a hug and a kiss.
"Oh my god" I exhaled, my vison thankfully clearing as I snatched the test, seeing the two pink lines for myself.
"That has to be fake" was my immediate reaction as I held the test up to the light, the pink line darkening right in front of me. "Where is the clearblue one?" I asked Harry, Harry's arms wrapping around me, his palms resting against my stomach as I pulled open one of the drawers, finding my stash of pregnancy tests.
The drawer was probably my most opened drawer in the entire household; which meant it was also my most hated.
All it held was dreams and disappointment.
"Can you grab me a few water bottles, please?" I asked, setting the test aside as I opened one of the more expensive pregnancy test boxes.
"Baby, it's so dark" Harry showed me, crease lines between his brow as his dimples pops from the smile he had.
"I know, I know.. I just.. want to be sure. I need to pee again! Water, please!"
Three water bottles later, I found myself peeing on yet another stick and plopping the capped test onto toilets paper on our counter.
I hated waiting.
"Babe, are you going to look?" Harry asked, a goofy smile still on his face as he leaned against the door frame.
"What if the test was wrong?" I asked again eyeing the drugstore pregnancy test next to Harry.
"Baby, they're supposed to be one of the most accurate tests"
"But false positives are a thing!" I shouted, shaking my hands as I paced the space between the toilet and the bathtub.
"Y/N" Harry sighed, "I know you're worried, and we can make a doctors appointment to verify.. but baby, I think this is it. I think we've done it"
I hesitantly walked up to the counter, my eyes locked on my mess of a reflection in front of me before slowly finding the test.
"Oh my god" I exhaled, the bold "pregnant" staring back at me. "Harry!" I quickly showed the test, a smile starting to form at my lips as my eyes welled up with tears again, "I.. we're... oh my god!" I shrieked, jumping a little as I waved the test next to me.
I quickly pulled out my phone, the video shaky as ran over to Harry, kissing him before showing the test to the camera.
"We're pregnant!" I yelled out, Harry grinning as he leaned down to kiss me again, the video stopping and I turned to the camera, Harry snatching the drugstore test, both of us holding up the tests as we took countless photos before posting in the mirror, taking all sorts of different angles of my belly.
I can't believe we're pregnant.
"I told you you weren't fat" he chuckled as we inspected my bloated stomach.
"I'm fat with your baby!" I laughed, my hand running over the puffy skin. "God, I'm going to get more stretchmarks"
"Good thing you married a man who happens to love them" He pecked my cheek, his hands on my hips.
"We need to make a doctors appointment pronto and make sure these tests are correct" I informed, setting the plastic test on the counter.
"Baby..."
"I know, I know! I just.. I want to be sure, okay?"
"I know. I love you no matter what, but I really think this time.. this time is it"
🍼
Hello! I've had this idea for a while, and I thought it would be fun to make kind of an open ending series? Meaning we can work on this for as long as we want! From finding out, to their birth, and just watching them grow up! If you have any requests, feel free to ask! I don't plan on posting them in order (like birth, growing up etc), but I will have them posted in (hopefully) chronological order in the masterlist!
Feel free to leave requests in the comments or on my ask via my profile!
If you have any baby names, let me know! I have the sex's picked out, but not the names!
I wanted to make this longer, but Tumblr has a 10 photo limit so...
I'm hoping as I get into it, I can write the blurbs better, just with their storyline, it was a bit hard to make it very happy and fluffy lol.
Welcome to my Quadruplet series! (I might post it on wattpad, I'll update the masterlist with a link if it is!!)
pst. my little circles won't stay where I want them to, if you know how to fix that lmk, otherwise we can both be annoyed together!
This is the masterlist to my blurb / social media series for Harry + Y/N with their quadruplets!
I'm gonna try and post them in chronological order on the masterlist, but they won't be posted on my feed in chronological order due to just writing what comes to mind / is requested!
The "first" post thing etc, is the order I posted them! Not the order they go in!
Read on Wattpad
First Ultrasound - second post
It's Quadruplets! - third post
The Announcement - first post
This one showcasing them finding out their pregnant btw!
