harryfan1: FOUR?!DO I NEED TO GET MY EYES CHECKED?!
gemmastyles: Congratulations ❤️ I can't wait to meet them
annetwist: My beautiful grandbabies ❤️
harryfan2: Hold on.
↳ harryfan2: Harry styles as four kids.
↳ harryfan2: HARRY STYLES HAS FOUR KIDS NOW. FOUR. LIKE... HE GOES HOME TO FOUR KIDS AT ONCE?!
harryfan3: Congratulations! I can't wait to see dadrry!
harryfan4: TELL ME THEIR NAMES OMG
↳ harryfan5 gotta get those people that leaked the airport footage on the case
*
40 fingers and 40 toes that all belonged to me.
My babies.
I ran my hand carefully over my sons cheek whilst Harry did the same to our daughter.
We have four babies. Four NICU babies at that.
If I could go back and tell myself something, it would be to cherish them inside the womb because it didn't get any easier on the outside.
I felt so stupid. So incredibly stupid for thinking that lugging around four babies on my back was the hardest part.
I stared down at my son's breathing tubes as he slept in his incubator and felt the tears roll down my cheeks.
I couldn't hold them. I couldn't kiss them. I couldn't love them, physically. I didn't get them sleeping in my hospital room. I didn't get to get up with them in the middle of the night to feed them, and change their diapers... they were all stuck in a stupid incubator just to keep them alive.
They were tiny. Two of the boys were only 3 pounds and a couple ounces, and they were the biggest.
I could feel this weight on my shoulders as I looked at all four incubators around me and I wanted to just crumple on the floor.
Two days old, and I already couldn't do it. I couldn't magically make everything easier.
Harry and I traded off incubators, spending time with each of the babies as nurses came and went before I got wheeled back to my room.
I sat crying in the hospital bed, abruptly trying to supress my sobs when the door opened and in walked Harry.
His eyes immediately clocked my face, rushing over to soothe me.
"Baby." he said softly, "They're okay. They're healthy. They're going to get stronger. They're going to get off breathing assistance and feeding tubes and we will bring them home." He immediately reassured, almost like he had the same exact talk with himself, before with me.
"Her entire hand is smaller than the pad of my thumb, Harry!" I cried.
"She's going to grow." He reminded me, his hands cupping my face, wiping away the tears.
"She was smushed in there!" My body shook.
"She's okay, Y/N."
"You don't know that, Harry! You cannot tell me they're fine! They look like they're on the brink of death Harry! They're already fighting for their lives, and they just got here and I can't do anything to help! I can't fucking help them! I'm just fucking stuck here!" I yelled, my body physically shaking as my eyes burned. "Their bassinets don't even have their names on them! They're.. they're..." I broke down, my wail bouncing off the walls of the room. "They don't even have identities yet." I cried.
"They have names, Y/N." Harry said softly.
"They don't know that!"
"They wouldn't even if they weren't in incubators."
I glared at him, wanting to punch him whilst also wishing he would hold me and make everything feel better.
"I have four nameless babies, stuck in a incubator with feeding and breathing tubes and heart monitors and heat lamps and I can't even hold them, Harry. I can't do skin to skin yet. I can't feed them. I can't change their diapers. It's been two days! Two days, Harry!" I exclaimed, watching Harry take a deep breath.
"You're not the only one, Y/N. You don't think I wish I could do those things too? I'm cherishing getting to see them at all, Y/N. I would also love to hold, and cuddle and feed my babies. You're not the only one, but I also know, they're our new, freshly born babies, and we will never get this exact moment with them ever again."
"At least you can see them." I grouched, leaning back carefully in my hospital bed, thankful for the heavy medication they've given me for my cesarean wound.
"If you're mad, and you need to take it out on me, just tell me that, but at least tell me you're not mad at me." Harry said softly, watching me.
"I'm not mad at you." I said slowly, Harry nodding. "I just.. everything that I dreamt about.. isn't playing out at all. I didn't get to push our baby out of my vagina, and you cut the cord and have the normalcy.. I just... even now, I still can't see my own children whenever I want and it's incredibly frustrating. Do you know how insane it is to be told you can only see your baby during visiting hours until they're a bit stronger? I can't camp out in there even if I wanted to, because I have to be watched and monitored and recover as well."
"I understand, but we will bring them home. To bring them home though, they need to be alive, and those breathing tubes, and feeding tubes, and heart rate monitors are doing just that. They're keeping all four of our babies alive, baby. It's going to be hard. We're both going to cry, and get mad, but they're two days old. We're all just trying to get through this, together. the doctors, the nurses, you, me, them... we'll look back on today, and remember how hard it is, whilst we're cuddling them on the couch or they're screaming our ears off in highchairs. Today, will not be forever. I understand, and hear your frustrations, I feel them as well... but at the end of the day baby, we have four alive babies. You had four babies cut out of you, Y/N. Just a year ago we didn't think you'd ever get pregnant, and here we are today, with four babies. Yes, things are hard right now.. but this is all we've ever wanted, and now we have it. Days are going to be hard, and situations might not look how you've dreamt them..." he paused, moving closer, wiping my tears and kissing my lips softly. "We're parents, Y/N. You and me. We have four babies, biologically at that. Soak in the good, and breathe through the bad. All those negative pregnancy tests, all those egg retrieval treatments and the semen counts and the abdominal shots... we have four beautiful babies. We did it." He kissed me again and I nodded slowly, apologizes falling from my lips as I hugged him.
"I love you." I told him, sniffling.
"I love you, Y/N Styles."
I smiled up at him before asking for a tissue, Harry joked about me ruining the mood, passing it over before sitting in the chair next to me.
"You need to rest, love. Our babies need a strong mumma as well."
* * * *
ynstyles
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♡ liked by: annetwist, yourbff, yourmom and 226,347 others
ynstyles: People have asked me what it was like to be pregnant with quadruplets, and yes it was a blessing, but it also was hard. Besides the basic pregnancy experiences, and the high risk pregnancy, my belly got HUGE, which is wild to me considering just how small the kids are.. but imagine carrying like 3 watermelons on your stomach. That might be what this felt like. Then add the swelling, the nausea, everything. It was hard. It was incredibly difficult. People also never guess you're pregnant with multiple babies, and if they do, just twins, so you often hear "Wow, that's gonna be one big baby." Which is really hard to hear looking back on, because of just how hard premie babies struggle. Sorry Karen, it wasn't a really big baby. It was actually four babies, that are now basically on life support. I thought my whole pregnancy my belly was ruining my body. I couldn't get it out of my head how I'd look afterwards.. and honestly? it does cross my mind, but at the end of the day, this belly carried four babies. It's funny to look back on how heavy the belly felt, knowing the biggest baby was only 3 pounds and 5 ounces. I'd say the hardest part, is the comments from strangers when they see you. I'd be 15 weeks pregnant, and they'd be shocked my due date wasn't right around the corner. I gave birth prematurely, and my belly was a lot larger then, than it was when people made comments to me. Yes I knew I was having multiples, but peoples comments and or fascination with ones body still hits the same. Some people just have big bellies, and small babies. Just because one is pregnant, doesn't change the fact that it is still their body. That is their stomach you're commenting on. The way it looks, the marks on it, the way the belly button protrudes. Pregnant woman don't deserve less, just because there's a reason for it. It all can still hurt the same. I've welcomed four beautiful babies with that belly, but that belly is still mine.
*comments have been limited*
* * * *
Written on: April 23rd 2025
Published on: April 23rd 2025
Word Count: 1628
tags: @ashleighsss @theekyliepage
This is the first imagine I’ve ever written let me know how it is.
Harry’s P.O.V.
Sex. Some love to be physical, some would call it rough. Some love to take it slow and feel. Some do it to show their love. Some love to pleasure others. Others love to have others pleasure them.
I do it to watch her come undone. I do it to make love to her. Watching the way she reacts when she comes undone because of me, is all the pleasure I need. Nothing will ever compare to that feeling she gives me.
She’s beautiful no matter what. Whether she’s waking up in the morning with crazy bed head. To her getting dressed up for a fancy dinner, with the little black dress I love. She knows she drives me crazy. I know she’s crazy about me.
No matter what ever happens to us, nothing will ever compare to making love to her. Hearing her pant my name. Leaving marks on my back. No one else will ever compare to the way she makes me feel when we’re together.
The night I proposed was the best sex I’d ever had. I had never experienced anything like that night, knowing that this woman will be the one who will be walking down the aisle to me in a white dress. The one that I’ll make babies with. The one that I’ll spend the rest of my life loving unconditionally.
That night started off with us going to dinner at the fancy steakhouse that I knew she loved but wouldn’t admit because of the prices. I would always tell her that she was worth the large bill. She wore this beautiful, sexy, floor length, flowy red dress that hugged her in all the right places. I had reserved a private table outside on the deck. Earlier I hang fairy lights from the roof and around the trees, something I knew she dreamed of. After, going through her Pinterest I had the perfect ring. Everything had to be perfect for my girl.
After we ate, it was time for me to do what I had planned. I told her that I loved her no matter what and that was never going to change. When I got down on my knee I didn’t have time to speak before she kissed me with so much passion I still feel it.
When we got home, we hardly made it to the bedroom before we had both lost all of our clothes. I needed to feel her the way only I would be able to for the rest of our lives. No matter what, I would only be the one to watch her come undone the way she does.
-
Author notes: sorry this is a little all over the place. I came up with this idea while I was napping and when I went to write it I completely forgot what I wanted to write. Let me know what you think and if you have any requests!
Also I apologize for any grammar or spelling errors!
Maybe, time has a way of healing things. Maybe it is like a balm on a wound, and slowly it helps heal the cut. Slowly stop the blood from flowing, slowly start making a net to stop it. And, my life was like a sharp nail, that kept scratching at the wound till the blood started flowing again. I wanted to stop now. I couldn’t get myself to jump off the cliff. I couldn’t, and I wanted a fresh start now. So, I cut all my nails. It was time to start fixing myself before I blamed myself. It was time to redo.
More time was spent by me. For the first time, in a long time, I didn’t look for the company that always wanted to surround myself. I grew up with the idea that having a group of people around you led to happiness, and Matthew had it. I just didn’t fit in that group. I visited the library, reading the self-help books which helped me a lot. Just to find peace at times, and for the time to go away. It hurt initially, I wanted what my brother had, what people around me had, but maybe I wasn’t meant for it. And that was okay. I didn’t have to conform according to the world around me, I could form a new path.
It was difficult in the start. Keeping to myself, not crying, but it had been better lately. I was feeling better. I was taking care of myself now. I liked my body, my hair, my eyes, I was falling in love with myself for a start. Figured that was wrong, I had this need to always hold on to people to validate myself, first Matthew, then Harry. I had myself now, and it felt wonderful. I was laughing more. I was happy. I had a few people who I talked to in class, or some were library specific. Some were from the coffee shop I went to, but I kept a distance. Not till I was ready would I let them close, and I wasn’t ready yet.
I didn’t go back home in the summer. I got myself an internship instead, and they paid me quite well. My parents weren’t pleased, but it was Matthew was upset.
“You don’t have to work to run away from me,” He slammed his hand on the door.
“I’m not running away from you or anyone for that matter,” I smiled. I smiled at him lately. No, I didn’t talk to him. It wasn’t healthy at first, I knew. But no one treated their family like that. And, I didn’t have to give respect when I didn’t receive any in return. He chose his girlfriend, his friends repeatedly over me. When I was treated like shit, he said nothing and, then expecting me to be all love and care, when we are alone was some shit.
“Yes, you fucking are! I know you! You just want to ignore me like a punishment,” I rolled my eyes, “Like some revenge, and then blame all your shit on me in front of Mom and Dad like you always do!” He screamed and, I dropped my stuff I was holding in my hands.
“Is that it then? You don’t want to be blamed for me not coming back home?” I folded my hands.
“That’s not what I meant,” He tried to correct himself, but I knew better.
“Well that’s shit, but don’t worry. I didn’t tell mum and dad anything about us. I want to work, and therefore I am. Not everything in this world is about you, you know.” I folded my arms, “And, as far as my dealing with my shit goes, I don’t want anything to do with you anymore.”
“Giselle...” He came forward, and I stepped back. "You’re my sister, my twin...”
“You’ve lost all your rights to call me that. It shouldn’t matter to you. It isn’t going to make any difference to your life,” I got back to my work. “You should be glad I’m not coming back with you. The perfect child can be with his perfect parents who love him all alone!”
“You don’t mean that,” He shook his head.
“Why because it hurts you? Because it is finally being stated? You are the perfect child, the perfect little boy they wanted to have while I just came along with the package. Don’t tell me you haven’t felt me being treated like that, oh wait, you won’t know! Because you spent all your time gloating about how you got the better! It’s so in your face in everything. For people outside, we must be a family that provides equal chances to everyone, but we know it’s not. So, why don’t we accept it and move on. I will not live in this illusion that my parents love me like they love my brother, and then live in this complex my entire fucking life!” I yelled.
“Gissy...” He tried to hold my hand.
“You couldn’t even be there for your sister when she was actually in grave danger. What sort of a family is this? Did I tell you, I don’t get a call from mom, every Saturday. I call her, while she calls you! Thank fucking god, I got a scholarship for this place, or they wouldn’t have even sent me here while you weren’t even pressured to get one! Where were you during all this, Matthew? You don’t have the right to call yourself a brother. Go to your fucking girlfriend and family!” I screamed, it all came out. I couldn’t control it. There was so much that was never said, so much hidden, I couldn’t let it all out, no, this wasn’t right. “Get out!”
Was he going to cry? He ran out before that, and I couldn’t help myself from following him. I didn’t see him, but I saw Harry standing in the hallway. He looked at me with shocked eyes, “What? Enjoying the show?” I slammed the door before he could answer.
The good thing was that I saw none of them during the summer. It was a relief and a good escape. My internship was hectic but brilliant, and I earned quite a bit while my spending wasn’t much. It was good for me, mentally and emotionally. After I didn’t call mom for two weeks, she finally did. She screamed at me for not calling and about how worried she was, but couldn’t say much after I told her that she didn’t hear from me for two weeks, and dad didn’t send the money so, there wasn’t much worrying happening. The ‘enjoy with your son’ was another thing that stopped her. All my life I was treated like the second best. Like I wasn’t important, made to feel that way, if I wanted to stop pretending and get over this competition and want for attention, I had to start afresh.
Today, I was soaking in the sun. My body was toned now by all the running and workouts I put in every day. My hair was longer, and I for the first time in a long time, felt happy in myself. I had made a few friends as well, and was hanging out with them when I saw him.
He was tanned now, and I could see the muscles that developed over the summer. His eyes widened as they took me in, I did look different.
“Hey Gissy, let’s go get those pancakes now. I’m sure they’re ready!” I offered Nick my hands, and he pulled me up. I felt his eyes follow me as I got up and walked to the stall.
“Giselle,” I turned around knowing it was his voice. I smiled, “You look different.”
“I grew my hair,” I nodded. “This is Nick,” I introduced my friend, and they greeted each other.
“I’ll meet you there,” Nick nodded and I turned to Harry.
“So, how was summer?” I asked.
“Fine, yeah how was yours?” He asked.
“Quite lovely, hectic but lovely,” I nodded, “So, I’ll see you around, yeah...”
He held my arm, “Where were you?”
“What?” I asked.
“You didn’t come back home. Why? I know you were mad at him, but he is your brother,” He frowned. “And, being as righteous as you claim you are, I expected you to be there.”
“What are you talking about?” I frowned.
“Wait, you don’t know?” his eyes in shock. “Matthew, he met with an accident...how do you not know?”
“What? How? When?” I took out my phone to see if I missed any call or message. I had nothing.
“A week ago, he is bad, Giselle.”
“I wasn’t...I didn’t...fuck!”
“If you’d like, I’ll be leaving to see him in about an hour, I can give you a ride,” He said, and I nodded wiping my tears. He was my brother after all, and I couldn’t believe mom hadn’t mentioned anything! Not much could be expected out of them, though.
Rushing back to my room, I packed my things and met Harry outside. It was a four-hour ride back home, and I couldn’t wait. “You know, that night when I had asked you out...”
“I really don’t want to talk about this, Harry.”
“Fuck! Why? Why can’t you give somebody else a chance to explain themselves! You did the same with Matthew when he constantly tried to reach out to you. He can’t help being who he is, but I have seen him fight every person who said shit about you. But he couldn’t always protect you! I don’t know what you guys had while growing up, but I know he genuinely does love you and care about you! Fuck, I saw him howling in the car after you slammed the door that night!” He yelled.
“That night, I called him up to pick me up, the night you left me, remember? He switched off his phone to have sex with his girlfriend and came knocking at the door three hours later...”
“He wasn’t having sex with his girlfriend, by the way,” Harry cut me off. “She had taken his phone, and thrown it across the room. When he went to fix it, it was broken. He then went to replace the model so, he could contact you. Meanwhile, that bitch hid his keys, and then after arguing for a long time, she finally gave it. He looked for you the entire night, I looked for you with him because for some reason he thought you weren’t safe. We finally gave up and reached your dorm where you were, thank god!”
This was a perspective that I didn’t know. All this while, I thought he had left me alone, but he hadn’t. I had misjudged the situation so bad.
“And as for me, if you’d let be explain myself,” He waited for me to interrupt. I didn’t. “I really liked as you as well. I still do for fucking’s sake, knowing how impulsive you are, and such a pessimist! I told you I was caught up with Ally and the gang. They had my book in their hand. Fucking never using a typewriter again in my life! And, all my books as well. They threatened to burn it, they actually did burn a few chapters to prove a point. Ross had my things which he was so ready to pour oil on and burn. Earlier, the plan was to mess around with you, and I thought fine. I will go with it, and then tell you everything they did so, you’ll understand and we’ll have our date!”
I looked at him, wanting to know more, “But, it didn’t happen that way. Then, she didn’t stop the car when we went forward. Drove all the way to the pub and took me and kept me the entire time until Matthew came to look for you. He beat Joss up and, I handled Tyler and we rushed outta there.”
“Why didn’t you tell me this before?” I asked, now crying.
“I was so guilty for the longest time, Giselle. Knowing what had happened, knowing how you weren’t talking to Matthew, knowing I could lose you forever with one wrong word because you weren’t listening to anyone,, I just couldn’t do it. I loved you and I was so guilty. On your birthday when you went back home, I planned to tell you everything. But you were so broken, I didn’t know what to say to fix it. And then, you thought I liked Ally and hated you and, I was so guilty Gissy,” Harry shook his head.
“Thought time would give me a chance, and when I built up the courage to tell you, you threw Matthew out, slammed the door, I couldn’t reach you with the wall you’d created.”
“Oh god, this is such a mess,” I cried into my palms.
“It is,” he said.
-
We reached the hospital in my town and I rushed to reception. Asking for his room, I ran up the staircase and Harry followed me. I reached the room and stopped when I saw our parents outside.
“Giselle, what are you doing here?” Mom asked me. Dad looking at mom accusingly.
“How could you not tell me?” I asked them.
“You were working, Giselle. We thought better not to distract you!” Dad cut mom.
“Bullshit! She knew I finished work last week!” I yelled.
“Do not raise your voice at us, young lady!” Mom spoke in the voice she used whenever she wanted to make me disappear.
“Then stop coming between me and my brother!” I told her. “If you want me out of the family, say it to my face instead of creating a divide between us!”
“Giselle!” She yelled.
“Enough mother. I have had enough,” I said, pushing his door open. Walking inside I saw the doctor giving an injection to Matthew. Matthew oh god, his hand and his left leg was broken, he had bruises on his face. His upper body was covered in bandages, his head was hurt. I wanted to cry.
“Gissy, hey...” he tried to smile. I stood away from his bed. “Please come here.”
I wiped my tears and slowly walked to him, sitting on his bed. The doctor gave his last pain killer and left. “What have you done to yourself? You didn’t have to get so bad to get my attention.”
He laughed and then grimaced in pain, “Don’t make me laugh, it hurts.”
His left hand which was better pulled me closer, and he kissed my cheek, “I missed you.”
“I missed you, too,” I said, crying into his neck. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know, I thought you hated me, I’m sorry.”
“Hey, you’re my twin. We’re basically the same. I could never hate you in my life! I’m sorry for not noticing the differentiation earlier. I’m such an idiot, but you should have mentioned this before and not hid it from me.”
“It was what I was taught,” I shrugged. “Does this hurt?” I asked, touching his ribs.
“I broke two,” he whined. “You’ll have to take care of me now. I can’t live in this town anymore!”
“The jailers should let you go,” I laughed.
“I think we should shift into that apartment you saw. It seems like the perfect opportunity!”
After talking a bit more with my brother, Harry came in and they talked for a while before he slept from the pain killers. Dad walked with me outside leaving mother behind. “Your mother loves you too,” he said.
“But loves Matthew more. You do too. It is not exactly hidden,” I said.
“It’s not like that, Giselle. You are as precious to us and Matthew. Yes, we have been harder on you, but that’s because your mother faced a lot of problems being a woman and, she wanted to prepare you for that. Yes, maybe a son is seen as more important, but we don’t want to lose you for it.” He said. Maybe some wounds take time to fill, but slowly with time, everything becomes alright and I could only hope for this to become better.
“So, you like me?” I ask, handing Harry a coffee.
“Pretty much,” He said, taking some time. “You know, there is a very good restaurant down the road.”
“Hmm, I grew up here,” I said, sarcastically.
“I’d like you to take me on a date there then. Right now would be nice. I’m starving,” Harry said, standing up.
“You’re driving me. To cancel all the chances of a repeat, you know!” I laughed.
“Shut up!” He said, pulling me as we walked towards the car.
---
Please tell me what you think about this. I’m posting my last few imagines...would love some feedback!
Please send in your requests for all my stories and even new ones if you think you want a work from me.
A/N: Just so we are clear, I'm not purposefully picking white girls to play the role! I'm just picking cute photos! - Also, there are more quadruplet images of Caucasian babies smh lol, but I will use POC photos as well! It's Y/N series, not an x person series so the skin color will more than likely not stay consistent!
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"Babe, I can see you sweating from here" Harry chuckled, walking towards me from the car.
Harry dropped me off at the automatic doors, the awkward wait and stares at my belly making me uncomfortable as he parked the car.
“Shut up! It’s fucking hot, Harry” I groaned, Harry intertwining our hands the welcomed AC
Checking in for something other than a pap smear and a stomach virus felt weird.
I turned to look up at Harry as he filled out one of the forms, passing the front desk woman our insurance car, a grin on my face as it started to set in why we were here.
I was here for a baby. My baby. We were pregnant. I'm getting a checkup and an ultrasound.
Harry kept his hand in mine as we walked the halls, reaching the OBYN waiting room, quite a few pregnant people and there partners were sat. A few girls were on their own, and one girl had another girl sat next to her, both of them looking over a baby must haves magazine.
"Let's sit over here" Harry murmured quietly, dragging me towards a back cornered area of the waiting room next to a kids activity table.
"Aw!" I cooed, "Look how small" I pointed at the little kid chairs and coloring books.
I felt the waterworks start, Harry chuckling as he snatched a coloring book off the table along with a box of crayons.
"What are you doing?" I asked, pulling myself back together, sitting down next to him.
"Coloring" he replied like it was obvious.
"It's a kids coloring book"
"So"
"Oh my god" I laughed, Harry flipping through the book, landing on a page of a cat with a mermaid tail
Harry colored the page, ignoring my teasing comments, passing me a crayon to join him before my name was called, the nurse grinning as Harry set the coloring book and crayons back on the table.
"If you can just step on the scale real quick. Would you like to know your weight or not?" She asked, respecting that I opted out, marking down the numbers before leading us to one of the rooms.
I thought getting STD tested was scary, but answering nurses questions for your file when you're pregnant is way scarier.
What if my numbers are too high? or low? What I have some weird blood type that is going to corrupt this child? What if I already had a bad weight gain? What if I'm already on the road to some sort of high risk pregnancy like diabetes or preeclampsia?
"Y/N? You have to uncross your legs and relax babe" Harry noted, the blood pressure cuff getting strapped around my bicep.
I sighed, nodding as I tried to relax, hating feeling the cuff tighten around my arm.
Did it have to hurt so much?
When the nurse confirmed that I was pregnant, my heart dropped to my stomach, the feeling of needing to throw up causing my throat to tighten.
There was a huge smile on Harry's face as the nurse continued to explain the next steps, but all I could think about was;
I'm pregnant.
I have a baby inside of me.
I'm in charge of another human. This humans life is in my hands. In my womb.
"Hey, hey, hey!" Harry rushed, pushing himself out of the chair and to my aid, "breathe. in, out" Harry coax, catching the nurses attention.
I did some deep breathing, getting myself to calm down, Harry's hand squeezing my own when he mouthed "Are you okay?" to which I nodded, only for the nurse to ask me if this was an unwanted baby.
"It's in your chart that you've been trying?" She asked, sounding confused.
"We have" Harry confirmed, the nurse looking over at me, confused.
"I just.. I'm pregnant" I spoke softly, Harry's brow furrowing. "I'm excited... but I'm.. I'm terrified. It's all on my shoulders to keep this baby safe. I'm just.."
"Y/N, breathe" Harry inhaled, then exhaled, having me follow him.
"I'm sorry" my voice cracked, my eyes stinging as tears threatened to rush down my cheeks.
I'm already a horrible mother.
I can't even act excited in front of the nurse.
"It's natural to be nervous" the nurse eased, my slight nod and Harry's soothing knuckle motion hopefully being enough to calm my nervous system. "You can be over the moon and terrified all at the same time. It's perfectly normal" He continued.
"I know.. I just.." I chewed my lower lip, "What if something happens? I mean, it's a miracle I'm pregnant to begin with and now.. and now that it's actually happened how do I make sure I don't mess it up?"
"Mrs. Styles, we're going to do our best and make sure you and your baby are healthy. Sometimes things happen, and it's never the mother's fault-"
"But it's my bodies fault" I interrupted, not daring to look at Harry.
"Sometimes things happen-"
"Because of my body. I can't have a baby" I interrupted again.
"And you're pregnant" the nurse's head nodded, my lips pursing.
"But I shouldn't be"
"It's not that you shouldn't be. No doctor told you it's suggested that you shouldn't be. You were told it was be hard to be; but not impossible, and look, now you're pregnant! We're going to keep watch, do our best to protect you and your baby and hopefully things go to plan. You can't worry too much though Mrs. Styles. The elevated blood pressure can risk you getting quite a handful of pregnancy complications" He warned and that alone was sending me into a mental hurricane.
When it came time for the ultrasound, Harry was giddy beyond belief.
I was as well, but I knew I'd be more excited once I was told that everything looked okay.
That me, and baby were okay.
Worse case scenario, I'm somehow miscarrying. Somewhat worst case is the pregnancy tests were false and my biggest fear that was forming a pit in my stomach was that I was pregnant, but I had some sort of detached egg and placenta thing, creating a high risk and or termination of pregnancy.
What if this was my one chance, and it didn't happen properly and I have to terminate it?
I don't think I'll survive that.
Harry called "Come in" when a knock sounded on the door, a youngish looking woman greeting us with a chart in her hand.
I laid back, the gel getting spread on my stomach, Harry taking a photo which made me laugh.
"Your fans would lose their minds if they knew you took selfies" I teased, the ultrasound technician smiling as turned on the machine.
"What they don't know won't kill them" he grinned, shoving his phone back in his pocket when I grabbed mine, returning the favor to record his reaction to seeing the baby.
"Are you guys ready?" She asked, the two of us nodding, our attention now on the tiny black and white static screen.
"Here's baby" She pointed, the little flick of a bean catching our immediate attention, "and... here's heartbeat" She pushed in on a button, the woosh sounding making our ears perk and our grins widen.
"What do you think, baby?" I asked, turning to look at Harry, seeing an overwhelming look of adoration towards the little screen, my heart melting right then and there.
I can't wait to watch him with the baby. He's going to be the best father ever.
With lack of reply, I turned back to look at the screen, wishing the baby was bigger so I could truly appreciate what was actually inside of me.
The wooshing noise stopped, my eyes snapping to look at the technician as she turned the screen towards herself.
I could feel my heart thump against my chest as I glanced over towards Harry who seemed worried, but was appearing to try very hard not to let it show.
"Everything okay?" I carefully asked, the technician humming.
"Baby's fine" she replied, "Um" she turned the screen back to us, "Do you guys see this?" She asked, pointing at the little bean, both of us nodding, "And do you see this?" She flipped screens, showing another bean. Harry's head tilting as I nodded slowly, also confused.
"That's the same, right?" I asked, the tech staying quiet.
"Do you see this one?" She asked, now my heart was really beating out of my chest.
What was happening?
Was this some kind of sick joke?
"You see here, each one has their own sack.." she pointed at three didn't placenta sacks.
"Yeah.."
"I uh, you're having triplets" She announced, my body stilling as Harry's eyes widened slightly, lips parted out of shock. "Here's baby A... baby B... baby C" She noted, the little letters showing up on the screen before she took a picture.
"There's three? Three babies?" Harry asked, the tech nodding as she went back to the video screen, moving around to show each one.
"Three's three"
"How- what?" I stumbled, leaning up on my elbows to try and get a closer look.
There is no way in hell there are three babies inside my fucking womb right now.
"There's just three, right?" Harry asked, my eyes widening at the possibly of more.
I'm going to be fucking huge.
"I'm not a golden retriever, Harry! I can't have a litter" I panicked.
I wasn't even supposed to have one baby, and now I'm having three?!
THREE?!!!!!!!
"I can only see three" She confirmed. "There could be one or two hidden behind one of the other ones-"
"MORE?!" I freaked.
"But that's rare" She finished, my eyes practically popping out of my head as I started to laugh.
"You're joking right? That's just like.. some prank you do on new parents? Ha ha.. jokes funny. It's just one, right?" I freaked, Harry's hand finding mine, the tech shaking her head.
"I'm not pulling your leg. It's triplets at least" She said, my body falling back on the exam bed.
Triplets.
Fucking triplets.
How the fuck am I gonna carry triplets?!
BIRTH TRIPLETS?!
No.
No I can't.
I can't birth triplets.
"Do I have to birth them all? Induvially?!" I worried aloud.
"It's extremely rare due to complications. You have a extremely if not guaranteed confirmation of a c-section"
"I can't have a VBAC next time right? if there is a next time? if I want a next time.." I rushed out, the idea of not having the dream vaginal birth was making my heart feel crushed.
I knew I shouldn't have hopes and dreams, especially since this wasn't supposed to happen period.. but I can't help it.
If it was one baby, or maybe even two... I could've possibly had a vaginal delivery, right? Like that could've been a possibility?
"Let's cross that road when we get there" She chuckled and I sighed, my eyes falling shut.
I could hear the tone of Harry's voice, the vibration it caused in my ears, but I couldn't make out the actual words as tears begun to roll down my cheeks.
I'm having triplets.
Three babies.
Three babies are growing inside of me.
T h r e e b a b a i e s a r e g r o w i n g i n s i d e o f m e
I have to raise three children at once. Of the same age. Forever.
Oh my god.
"Babe, I can see the smoke coming out of your ears from here" he snickered, "Quit thinking so hard"
I rolled my eyes, my hands coming up to cover my eyes.
"You're positive it's three?" I asked again, the tech confirming for what was probably the fourth or fifth time since I blacked out whatever Harry said.
I left the appointment with my brain spiraling and a few pregnancy pamphlets in hand, Harry already googling the recommended websites.
"Wait, it says that multiples rarely go to full term, meaning... we have like........ way less time than normal" he finished, making me laugh at his lack of words.
"Aren't you scared?" I asked, turning to face him as he scrolled through his phone.
"Scared? Sure. The excitement overshadows it though"
"How does the excitement overshadow the fear?" I genuinelly asked, baffled by how his emotions were a complete 180 to my own.
"Because we went from day and night worrying about not having any kids, to having three, Y/N. I mean, that's insane! A whirlwind if you will, but it's exciting! We're having three babies!"
I stayed quiet, Harry rambling the entire drive home about how we have so many more names to pick out now, and asking me if we were having one nursery, or a gendered nursery or even giving them each their own nursery.
Saying I was overwhelmed was an understatment.
♡ liked by: annetwist, yourbff, harrystyles and 15,859 others ynstyles: Throwback to our first ultrasound! @harrystyles and I love our little family so much already 🙈❤️
annetwist: Christmas is gonna be even more special this year ❤️🎄
↪ harryfan1: @/annetwist OMG DOES THAT MEAN IT'LL BE HERE BY CHRISTMAS?!
yourbff: My new bff, sorry YN lol
↪ ynstyles: @/yourbff Gunna have to fight @/harrystyles lol
yourbff: @/harrystyles Can you fight though?! 👊🏽
↪ harrystyles: @/yourbff for my family? Definitely
↪ yourbff: @/harrystyles BET
↪ harrystyles: @/yourbff BET
↪ yourbff: BET X2
↪ harryfan2: @/yourbff @/harrystyles screaming crying throwing up
harrystyles: This was the best day ever ❤️
↪ harryfan3: @/harrystyles WHERES THE H YOU IMPOSTER
↪ ynstyles: @/harrystyles yeah, where's the H
↪ harrystyles: @/ynstyles H
An: It's still four! They just don't know that yet!! - just to clarify lol
Follow Y/N + Harry's journey from being a family of two, to a family of six! Also know as, Harry + Y/N have quadruplets!
This series will contain blurbs, social media posts, interviews and everything family + fame!
full masterlist
qtl masterlist
Read on Wattpad
harrystyles and ynstyles
•∘ ∘•
♡ liked by: annetwist, niallhoran, liampayne, and 3,765,874 others
harrystyles: Been busy on break
annetwist: I can't wait!!
gemmastyles: I've already bought onesies 🙈💞
liampayne: Welcome to the club, mate!
ynstyles: You owe me £5 for not spilling the beans!
harryfan1: OMG WHAT
harryfan2: She said.. I'm having your baby!
↳ harryfan3: And it's ALL OF HIS BUSINESS OMG
harryfan4: Guys... we're getting dadrry. I repeat, we're getting dadrry!
ynstyles
•∘∘∘∘
•∘∘∘
∘∘•∘∘ ∘∘∘•∘ ∘∘∘∘•
ynstyles: First trimester diaries! 🍼
First things first, finding out your pregnant, at least.. when you're trying, is the best feeling ever!!!! Harry and I took so many photos and videos (far too personal to share, (See slide four to see me on the verge of screaming and crying over the fact that I'm pregnant lol) you see me cry enough as it is lol) and we sat on the bathroom floor in pure happiness and disbelief. (and a lot of concern on my end..) I couldn't stop looking at my stomach and bubbling nonsense to Harry as we began our true first steps into parenthood. (I'll eventually talk about our journey, but if you're new, it hasn't been an easy one💝) As we watched my stomach grow, we couldn't stop touching it! The idea of feeling a kick, or a flutter... or even just the thought of a baby inside of me; pure happiness. (Pst, Harry sleeps with his hand on my belly and it's my new favorite thing ever!!!! It's so cute!!!)
For those wondering, Morning sickness is brutal. I'm already losing sleep, vomiting my guts even in the middle of the night and much to my dismay, awakening Harry every time I scurry to the bathroom. (If Harry looks extra tired on camera, I apologize! - he'll tell me off for this, shh!)
Tiredness is unreal. I mean, I figured growing a human would be hard, but I'm convinced I'm asleep more than I am awake. I wake up, vomit, eat some crackers take my meds, sleep repeat.
Ultrasounds are the craziest experience ever!! Harry and I lost our minds and Harry's soft smile when we saw the screen is burned in my brain forever. He's honestly already such a good husband but I know he's going to be an even better father! I honestly can't wait!!
@harrystyles I love you so much! Thank you for making me a mumma <3
annetwist: Congrats! I'm excited to finally talk about it!
yourbff: I can't believe you didn't tell me for 3 weeks smh
↳ ynstyles: It was unbearable for me too!
comments on this post have been limited
~
"Love, staring at it won't make the line appear quicker" Harry tried to ease, his hand on my back as my eyes laser locked on the pregnancy test.
"The line has to show at some point!"
Harry snatched the test off the counter, my mouth a gape, ready to throw protest when he grabbed my hand and led me to sit down on the cold tile with him.
"Harry! Give me the test!" I whined, my tear ducts filling as the past couple months of worry begun to spill over.
"Y/N, babe, just sit down with me. We're dong this together, alright?"
I reluctantly sat next to him, Harry setting the test on his thigh, his right hand clasping my left as we stared down at it.
"What if it's just one line?" I asked softly, my biggest fear being vocalized once again.
"Then we'll try again" He repeated instantly, a singular tear rolling down my cheek.
"Harry, it's our sixth round in three years" I cried, my eyes squeezing shut as the emotion left glistening trails down my cheeks.
"Y/N, we don't have to do it again" He told me calmly his thumb rubbing against my knuckles, something he did frequently to quietly soothe me.
"You already know how I feel about adoption" I whimpered, guilt encasing my chest as I slowly opened my eyes, my blurred vision attempting to peak at the test.
"I know" He replied, not offering much else as he starred at the test.
"I'm a horrible person" I begin to cry again, taking my hand out of his as I covered my face.
"You're not a horrible person, y/n"
"What woman doesn't want to adopt, Harry?! We could! We could have already had a family! What kind of person is afraid too adopt?!"
"A person whose thought about every avenue. Y/N, it's perfectly normal to want what you want. Can you open your eyes please when I talk to you?" He asked, His green eyes were full of hope, my throat tightening as I glanced away. "Y/N" Harry warned, getting me to look back at him. "I know you're afraid of everything that comes with adoption, and if it's a huge fear of yours, whether it's that you won't love them the same, or they won't love you, or all of the separation issues you've read about.. it's just a different journey that we'd take together. We'd figure it out. You're not the first person to be nervous to adopt if that's a path we need to consider. However we start our family, is how we start our family. I know having a biological baby means a lot to you, but if that's not where life takes us, I think we both need to prepare ourselves to come to terms with that" He told me honestly, my lips pursed as I nodded.
It was true.
As horrific as it made me feel, I was afraid that if I adopted, I wouldn't love that child the same way I would my own. Maybe it was silly.. but my dream was to always have a baby of my own, and now that it's became an entire ordeal including medical professionals and obsessive calendar counting, I knew I needed to let my brain dance with the idea again... but could I really do that to a child? Bring them into this loving home.. and not love them the way they deserved? Would I ever view that baby as my own? Or would it feel more like a godparent babysitting situation?
IVF has been a rough path that Harry and I have walked down. One we didn't take lightly, and one we definitely probably over researched before even attempting such feat.. but with all the cons.. there were the pros.
So we tried, and we tried, an we tried.... and we gave up. Adoption maybe? Foster care? Surrogacy? Egg donors? There was a million routes.. but none of them felt like my dream. I wanted to have sex one night and wake up pregnant the next morning with my husbands child, and I struggle a lot with the fact that that isn't how it's happening.
It would be so easier if I could blame Harry, and his annoying sperm.. but the reality is, Harry is perfectly capiable impregnating someone.
I'm the problem.
Learning that you're supposed sole duty of a period every month wasn't even worth it... definitely landed me in some pretty intense therpary.
There has been more dark days than light for both Harry and I.
I'd be lying if I said divorce had never crossed our minds.
Things got bad, before they got good again and now here I sat next to him, wedding band on my finger as tears streamed down my cheeks, ready to be once again disappointed by my body.
"Can we just see what this test says and go from there, please?" I asked quietly, Harry nodding. "Can you look? My eyes are blurry"
I did my best to clear my vision when I heard the inhale of Harry's sharp breathing.
"What?" I asked, panic making my body tense. "What?!"
"It's two lines! Y/N! You're pregnant!" He practically yelled, my entire body stilling.
"What?"
"YOU'RE PREGNANT!" He yelled, scurrying off the floor, helping me up and yanking me into a hug and a kiss.
"Oh my god" I exhaled, my vison thankfully clearing as I snatched the test, seeing the two pink lines for myself.
"That has to be fake" was my immediate reaction as I held the test up to the light, the pink line darkening right in front of me. "Where is the clearblue one?" I asked Harry, Harry's arms wrapping around me, his palms resting against my stomach as I pulled open one of the drawers, finding my stash of pregnancy tests.
The drawer was probably my most opened drawer in the entire household; which meant it was also my most hated.
All it held was dreams and disappointment.
"Can you grab me a few water bottles, please?" I asked, setting the test aside as I opened one of the more expensive pregnancy test boxes.
"Baby, it's so dark" Harry showed me, crease lines between his brow as his dimples pops from the smile he had.
"I know, I know.. I just.. want to be sure. I need to pee again! Water, please!"
Three water bottles later, I found myself peeing on yet another stick and plopping the capped test onto toilets paper on our counter.
I hated waiting.
"Babe, are you going to look?" Harry asked, a goofy smile still on his face as he leaned against the door frame.
"What if the test was wrong?" I asked again eyeing the drugstore pregnancy test next to Harry.
"Baby, they're supposed to be one of the most accurate tests"
"But false positives are a thing!" I shouted, shaking my hands as I paced the space between the toilet and the bathtub.
"Y/N" Harry sighed, "I know you're worried, and we can make a doctors appointment to verify.. but baby, I think this is it. I think we've done it"
I hesitantly walked up to the counter, my eyes locked on my mess of a reflection in front of me before slowly finding the test.
"Oh my god" I exhaled, the bold "pregnant" staring back at me. "Harry!" I quickly showed the test, a smile starting to form at my lips as my eyes welled up with tears again, "I.. we're... oh my god!" I shrieked, jumping a little as I waved the test next to me.
I quickly pulled out my phone, the video shaky as ran over to Harry, kissing him before showing the test to the camera.
"We're pregnant!" I yelled out, Harry grinning as he leaned down to kiss me again, the video stopping and I turned to the camera, Harry snatching the drugstore test, both of us holding up the tests as we took countless photos before posting in the mirror, taking all sorts of different angles of my belly.
I can't believe we're pregnant.
"I told you you weren't fat" he chuckled as we inspected my bloated stomach.
"I'm fat with your baby!" I laughed, my hand running over the puffy skin. "God, I'm going to get more stretchmarks"
"Good thing you married a man who happens to love them" He pecked my cheek, his hands on my hips.
"We need to make a doctors appointment pronto and make sure these tests are correct" I informed, setting the plastic test on the counter.
"Baby..."
"I know, I know! I just.. I want to be sure, okay?"
"I know. I love you no matter what, but I really think this time.. this time is it"
🍼
Hello! I've had this idea for a while, and I thought it would be fun to make kind of an open ending series? Meaning we can work on this for as long as we want! From finding out, to their birth, and just watching them grow up! If you have any requests, feel free to ask! I don't plan on posting them in order (like birth, growing up etc), but I will have them posted in (hopefully) chronological order in the masterlist!
Feel free to leave requests in the comments or on my ask via my profile!
If you have any baby names, let me know! I have the sex's picked out, but not the names!
I wanted to make this longer, but Tumblr has a 10 photo limit so...
I'm hoping as I get into it, I can write the blurbs better, just with their storyline, it was a bit hard to make it very happy and fluffy lol.
Welcome to my Quadruplet series! (I might post it on wattpad, I'll update the masterlist with a link if it is!!)
pst. my little circles won't stay where I want them to, if you know how to fix that lmk, otherwise we can both be annoyed together!
"I'm bigger than the house we first bought together" I huffed, Harry helping me get into the hospital.
Today we were meeting our babies and I was scared out of my mind.
Normal pregnancies have forty weeks to worry. Forty weeks to figure out names, nursery, how you want to parent, what diapers you want you use, are you breast feeding or bottle feeding, cloth diapers or disposable diapers, co-sleeping, or strict crib rules.
I lost ten weeks of worrying.
Ten precious weeks that might've given me more answers than I knew now.
Not only have I been "in hiding" for months, keeping out of the limelight with my big ole belly — Harry and I agreeing for the safety of me and the kids; it was best for me to keep close with our families. We didn't want to tell the world that we're having quadruplets until they were already born, home and safe.
The good lord knows that last thing we want to do is explain about some sort of horrific event we had to go through when we only announce we have one, or two, or three.
I'm terrified.
"You look so beautiful, love" Harry smiled over at me; a nurse waiting at the door with a wheelchair. "We're about to be parents"
"To four babies. We're doomed, Styles" I sighed, wishing I could focus more on the highs than the lows, but I couldn't help it.
Four babies is a lot. Even with help.
"Y/N Styles?" The nurse asked, my head nodding. "Take a seat, I'm sure your feet are killing you" She smiled, and I nodded, agreeing.
I carefully sat down and we were brought to the front desk for paperwork before being brought to our pre-op room.
"How does it feel to know this is the last time they're going to be inside of you?" Harry questioned, grabbing the hospital gown to help me change into.
"Strange" I answered honestly, my voice soft as I started to strip. I was covered in red stretch marks on my stomach, my back, my hips, my thighs, even my ass and boobs. These babies took a toll on my body in more ways than just physically. "I'm looking forward to the relief on my boobs and back"
"I can't wait to meet them all" He sighed, a cute smile dancing on his lips.
I couldn't help but smile back up at him, "I know, me too. It's crazy to think what all can happen in just 30 weeks. They're going to be so tiny. You think they'll be okay, right? I mean, they're supposed to be in there for ten more weeks" I began to panic a little; something Harry was all too familiar with through this pregnancy.
"The Styles name lives on" He grinned, doing a little shimmy with his body, my eyes rolling as I giggled, turning around so he could tie the back. "You ass look cute" he squeezed, my head shaking as I smiled.
We haven't had sex in months. I've given him more handjobs in the past few months then I did our entire dating relationship. I've been too tired, sore, or just downright uninterested. My sex drive has diminished completely.
Thankfully he still finds me attractive enough to get hard; I don't think I could mentally survive if I was trying to get him off and he simply couldn't do it.
Your body changes a lot when you're pregnant, I knew that going in. However, I wasn't prepared for all the changes that would couple with having quadruplets. The size alone of my stomach was enough to make me already start planning a tummy tuck and an extra skin removal just to feel better about myself in the shower, or the mirror.
I knew I wasn't going to be skinny after having kids, and I was okay with that. I was prepared for that, yet the idea of so much extra skin once my stomach started losing it's after birth bump... mentally, I was dreading.
I'd be lying if I said it had nothing to do with being married to the Harry Styles.
It wasn't all of it, but it was a lot of it.
I couldn't help but think about the pap pics, or the interviews, or the social media posts. People were mean even if you were the most beautiful person on the planet. Now I've got four babies and a thrown our figure.
Harry and I had planned to do interviews after we announced their birth and that alone kept me up at night. How many pairs of spanks do I need to buy? Do I wear black? It hides you best.
"Alright love, look at you" Harry smiled, telling me to do a spin for him; chuckling when I carefully toddled on my feet in a circle. "Stunning! The most beautiful woman I've ever seen. I love you so much, gorgeous. The babies have the prettiest, sweetest, most caring mumma ever" Harry wrapped his arms around me as best as he could, ending in me huffing, trying to push him away before he hugged me from the side, kissing me. "We'll always make it work" He mumbled against my lips, kissing me again.
A knock at the door pulled us away, a few nurses coming in with charts, an IV and a blood bag.
Great.
With a urine sample off to the lab, I was settled in the hospital bed before they started my blood draw and IV drip, going over a few chart questions until the anesthesiologist and obgyn surgeon came in with consent forms.
"How are you feeling?" She asked, already dressed in scrubs.
"Nervous" I admitted, my leg uncontrollably shaking.
"Well, although it is my first time getting out four babies, it isn't not my first c-section, or my first time with multiples. My team and I are as prepared as we can be; all hands on deck, I promise" She smiled and I just nodded, wishing her reassurance eased me more than it actually did.
Getting shaved by someone other than yourself was an awkward experience I thoroughly wished to forget by the time I looked back at this moment ten years time.
"Look babe, our babies are going to be in these" he pointed at the hospital bassinets, a smile on my lips as I watched him fawn over it, "We're going to need three more" he chuckled, looking around at all of the baby things. "What's this?" he pointed at a station with a lamp above it.
"I think it's too keep the babies warm, I don't know for sure though" I hummed, eyeing the clock, awaiting for our surgical time.
Twenty minutes passed, Harry gloating about how he got to pee, instantly regretting it when he saw my face before we got rolled into the operating room.
Harry was held back to put on scrubs and do his antibacterial scrub whilst I got monitors placed on me, a catheter inserted, yay me, and my stomach cleaned before Harry showed up at my side, a grin on his face, "Here we go baby" he said, looking adorable as I stared up at him; the room crowded in all sorts of different people; four different baby stations set up, ready to start clearing their airways, cleaning them off and keeping them warm.
"Please let everything go away" I softly prayed, my eyes falling shut as the nerves begun to take over.
Please let my four babies all be okay. All be perfect, and healthy.
Please let them all have good breathing, and hearts, and movements.
Please keep my babies safe.
"We're going to be okay, Y/N. We've got the best medical staff. All these people are here, ready to help" He eased and I nodded, calling out, "None of you better post this on TikTok", knowing we had everyone sign legal forms even worse than just patient confidentiality
Chuckles were heard around the room, I just hoped they knew I was serious.
I don't want my birth story our there before I get to tell it.
With the drape up and the anesthesia administrated, the surgery begun.
I stared at the hospital ceiling, my heart knowingly racing — I could hear the nurses talking about it; Harry's hand finding mine as he crouched down next to me, his mouth brushing against my ear.
"Hi baby" He murmured, "You're doing so well. You're the strongest woman I've ever met, and I'm so thankful to call you mine. I'm so grateful you're our babies mother. That you're the person I get to do this with. You're going to be the best mum ever. The babies are going to love you so much. I just know it. I love you so much, you're doing so so so good. It's going so well, hear them? Hear them talk about how well it's going? We're going to meet our babies, Y/N. They're going to be the most perfect little humans we've ever seen. Our families are going to be enthralled with them. My mom's already on her way" he chuckled, kissing my cheek, my brain focusing on his voice, and let of the talk around me. "Little did we know when we first met, that you'd be in an operating room waiting to meet four of our children at once. Can you imagine telling our younger selves that? When the doctor said you couldn't have kids, that you'd be meeting four of your flesh and blood in just a few minutes? Just one easy peasy lemon squeezy producer later? I hope they have your beautiful smile, and colorful personality. I can't wait to watch you mother the hell out of them" he laughs softly, his thumb stroking my knuckles, "Watch them grow up with us. their first breath, their first bath, their first night home, their first laugh. Their first food and first time crawling or walking. Our entire life is starting all over again once we leave this hospital, baby; and I'm so lucky I get to do it all with you"
"First baby's out!" I heard, my breath hitching, Harry's smile brightening as a sob escaped my lips.
"We're parents, Y/N. It's official" He kissed me, my chest shaking as I cried with pride, joy and fear.
"It's a boy! Time, 7:16pm" We heard, followed by a rush of people talking, movement heard; Harry and I holding our breath's until we heard the cry, a collective sigh of relief was heard around the room.
"I love you so much" Harry confessed, my brain too fried to reply as it was panicking with fear and excitement.
We're parents.
We have a baby.
Harry and I have a son.
A soft voice was heard behind Harry, Harry straightening up, our son coming into view.
"Oh my god" I exhaled, Harry being handed the baby, his eyes glistening under the bright white lights before they fell down his cheeks as he stared down at him, carefully holding our son to show me.
"Look at his cheeks" Harry exhaled, both of our breaths taken away by the sight of our son.
"Second baby's out! It's a boy! Time 7:21pm" Was heard again, my body on the ultimate adrenaline high.
"He looks just like your newborn baby photos, your mom is going to be thrilled" I cried, smiling at my sun, wishing I could hold him; but he was taken away right when we heard the second cry.
Another breath of relief was heard, the team of doctors and nurses doing their tasks before the second baby was brought over, followed by a third "Baby's out! It's a boy! Time, 7:24pm"
Everything was happening so quickly, I felt like I couldn't fully process the fact that three of my babies are now in the world.
I have triplets.
"You're a dad" I stated, it finally hitting that our dreams were coming true as Harry held our second son, his tiny little body not processing yet.
They were so small.
Three high pitched screams were heard around the room, my eyes falling shut as the noises flooded my brain, each wail, beep, and murmur being etched into my memories.
"They're cleaning up the babies and getting them under heat lamps" Harry informed me, apparently he could see around us; whereas I'm stuck seeing the ceiling. "One has a getting checked with a stethoscope"
"Please let them all be okay" I repeated quietly, awaiting the arrival of our baby girl.
"I'm so proud of you Y/N" Harry repeated, his hand brushing away my tears, "You're incredible, love"
The longer it took to hear the arrival of my daughter, the more concerned I got.
I hated this. Lying here. Helpless. Just waiting. I can't do anything. I'm numbed, trapped on this table.
I can't reposition, I can't push, I can't pull.
I just have to lay here and wait; it was agonizing.
"Baby girl is out, time 7:32pm"
I held my brain waiting for her cry, my hands shaky, Harry grabbing my left hand and squeezing.
With the quiet cry being drowned out over the boys wails, I felt uneasy.
"Why is she so quiet?" I asked, wanting to scoop them all up and protect them from anything that could be causing them torment.
"The boys could be louder?" Harry said, worry evident in his tone.
Upon further exam, we were informed that she was having difficulty breathing and would be given oxygen, supposedly from being crushed by her brothers.
My heart cracked at the idea of her being squished so much that she was struggling to breath.
Harry didn't even get to hold her before they were all whisked away to the NICU and my stitched up stomach was eventually rolled to the post op room.
I was so tired, my body shaking, but all I wanted was my kids.
I didn't get to have them laid on my chest, or to see them the very second they were born. As silly as it sounds, I felt robbed.
I didn't get to have the dream labor and delivery; and I know it sounds silly and life is unpredictable; but there was no skin to skin. No cut the umbilical cord. No immediate bonding.
Everything was extremely different than I dreamed of. It was to be expected due to having quadruplets, but that didn't change the fact that it felt disappointing.
I wanted the best for them, and they're already hooked up to god knows what sitting alone in a room without me.
I'm already useless to them.
I sat in the recovery room alone, shaky, tired and sobbing as Harry left to go see the babies in the NICU; my body still numb as I just laid there, tears strolling down my face.
Harry and I were parents, which was a dream come true within itself, and I was incredibly thankful to have my four kids, but laying here, alone.. it just felt dehumanizing.
I was their mother. I was supposed to care, and protect them, to love them. Yet I'm stuck here, alone, just waiting for whenever I'm allowed to see them.
My boobs hurt, aching to feed my babies, and I already knew they'd be on formula due to their being four of them.
I hated feeling defeated.
Like I was already failing and they were just born.
Harry gets to parade around the hospital seeing his children whilst I just lay here, alone, without them.
All I got was a glimpse of my sons before all four were taken away and I was abandoned in this room.
My eyes burned from crying and tiredness, the exhaustion eventually taking over and my body lulling into a sleep.
I woke up to Harry sitting next to me in fresh clothes, cheeks red as he stared down at his phone, his thumb scrolling from right to left.
I just stared for a moment, his head lifting, our eyes meeting.
He looked tired.
"Hi" I whispered, my body still feeling like dried cement.
"Hi" He replied just as softly, shifting closer on his chair, taking my hand and kissing my knuckles.
"How are they?" I questioned, chewing my lower lip as my body ached.
"They're small. I have pictures; I just.. want to warn you, they're um.. they're.."
"They're what, Harry?" I rushed, ready to hop out of this bed no matter how much it hurt, to go find my children.
"They're hooked up to all kinds of stuff. They're so tiny, Y/N. They've got monitors.. and breathing tubes..; their diapers barely fit" He was starting to get choked up as he looked away, swallowing the lump in his throat before sniffling.
"They were born ten weeks early, Harry" I quietly reminded him, knowing I was brave enough to do all kinds of research of what to expect, but Harry wasn't.
He wanted to live in naive land, and just be excepted about their birth.
Harry showed me all the photos and videos he took; Harry's finger bigger than their palm.
Each photo you could see his anchor tattoo, and I swear his hand was bigger than their body.
I broke my heart to see my babies suffering, both of us sat here crying over pictures and videos when asked when I could see them, Harry telling me we had to wait for a nurse to bring me in a wheelchair.
I just wanted to hold them, but I knew from my researching I needed to be prepared for that not to happen.
All I could do was hope that one day all of this hurt, and pain, and worry, would just be a blimp of a memory as I watched them all laugh and play together; snuggling each one into their cozy beds and sending them off to school the next morning.
I knew to take one day a time, one hour even; but if I didn't think about the future, and just stayed in the present, I'd go crazy.
I had to cling onto hope. It was the only way I'd survive however long they were in the NICU for.
* * * *
Their birth - part one :)
Next parts and Harry + Y/N in the NICU + bringing them home, meeting family etc and then announcing them to the world!
I'm ngl, I still don't have names.. so we gotta figure that out too lol.
Summery: Y/N is Harry's toddlers private swim teacher
Word Count: 700
Unedited - written at 3am..
Masterlist
Read on Wattpad
"So if you just want to stand over there, we can work on his swimming" I instructed, Mr. Styles' two and a half year old standing on the concrete next to the pool, my eyes staying locked on him.
Our last lesson we worked on swimming to me, then back to the wall and towards the end of our session he appeared to be getting it, not needing much aid or instruction, so I wanted to try having him swim a longer distance from me to his dad.
"Alright, are you ready?" I grinned, backing up just a little bit as the toddler nodded, "Jump!" I cheered, holding my arms out.
I watched the toddler fall into the pool, Mr. Styles' audible breath hitch making my chest tighten at how little faith he had in me.
"Yes! Good job!" I cheered, "up!" I reminded, watching the little toddler's hands reach the surface before his head peaked over the water, breathing in the fresh air. "Good job!" I encouraged, waddling a little in the water, "Can you show dada how you swim?" I asked, sneaking a glass at Mr. Styles whose eyes were locked on his son. "On your belly" I giggled, crouching so the water came up to my collar bones, ready to aid as needed.
I visited the Styles' residence about twice a week for the past 2 months to work on the toddlers swimming and drowning prevention.
Normally I'm greeted by the nanny, the nana or the aunt, this time being my first time meeting Mr. Styles.
"Come get me buddy!" I encouraged, a big smile on my face as I watched his little body remember the steps.
One arm peaked through the surface as his little toddler legs started kicking and I began to notice a little flailing.
I could feel the waters ripple from Mr. Styles direction, catching a quick movement out of the corner of my eye.
"He's okay! I'm right here" I reminded him.
Did he think I wouldn't save his child if I needed to?
He knows I've been instructing him for a while, right?
"He looks so helpless" Mr. Styles worried.
My left hand rested under his belly as my right came around to help his movements, keeping his body afloat.
"One arm, then the other" I reminded, helping him tread through the water again. "And kick, kick, kick, kick, kick! Make big splashes, get dada wet!"
I watched his little legs begin to kick, the water splashing as I angled him so he was swimming away from his dad, Mr. Styles playing along and shrieking as the water hit him, the little boys' giggles making my heart swell.
"You got him so good!" I cheered, the toddlers cute chubby cheeks filling out as his grin began to take over. "Ready to do it on your own? Gonna go swim to dada?" I pointed, Mr. Styles being about six feet away
My hand hovered under his stomach as I awkwardly waddled with the swimming toddler before he really got going, his little arms and legs working together against the water, swimming right over to Mr. Styles as I stayed behind and watched, a big smile on my face as Mr. Styles slowly backed up, encouraging his toddler to keep going until he finally reached his dad.
"DADA!" he squealed, his hands touching Mr. Styles chest before Mr. Styles scooped him up and showered him in kisses and praise. "I'm so proud of you!"
"Again, again!" The toddler squealed, the dimple grin on Mr. Styles face matching his sons.
"You gonna come swim to me buddy?" I asked from across the pool, the toddler quickly nodding, "Alright, show dada your big kicks!" I reminded him, crouching with my arms open as I anticipated his arrival.
There was nothing better than watching these kids overcome their fears and gain confidence in not only themselves, but their skills in the water. It truly made me feel so accomplished and fulfilled every time I left their residence, just seeing how happy and tired the little boy looked.
"Yesssss!" I cheered, "You're so smart! You did it buddy" I cheered, the child's laughter keeping a smile on both me and Mr. Styles face.
"Are we ready to show dada how you can dive?" I questioned, bringing the toddler to edge, my hand under his belly as he swam and grabbed the side, pulling his head up.
"Yesssssss!" He squealed, both Mr. Styles and I watching the young boy push himself up and swing his leg up onto the side of the pool, showcasing just how much he's learned as he ran to go grab his dive toys.
"Thank you Ms. Y/L/N for teaching him" Mr. Styles said, suddenly a lot closer than I remembered him being.
"It's no problem, I love what I do" I grinned, Mr. Styles son coming back with a toddlers armful of dive fishies.
"Throw them in" I instructed, watching the weighted toys splash into the pool.
Mr. Styles and I stood on the side as the toddler jumped in, swimming down to the bottom of the 4ft pool, grabbing his diving toy.
I could tell Mr. Styles was nervous so I went under and watched the little boy grab his toy before pushing himself up to the surface, the two of us popping up at once.
"Look dada! I got it!" He squealed, shaking his toy in front him.
Mr. Styles praised the boy again before turning to me and mouthing "Thank you"
A few more dives and I called it a day, seeing just how tired the almost three year old was becoming.
"Popsicle time?" He questioned, a cute green froggy towel wrapped around his body.
"Popsicle time!"
Written on: July 6th 2023
Published on: July 6th 2023
