𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙳𝚛𝚞𝚗𝚔𝚎𝚗 𝙲𝚘𝚗𝚏𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗
~It’s a busy Friday night at the Stardrop Saloon. The air is filled with laughter, chatter, and the occasional clinking of glasses. Fridays are rare drinking nights for Sebastian and Sam, who usually avoid alcohol, but tonight... Sam has ideas. And Sebastian is reluctantly getting dragged into them.~
~At the Pool Table~
Sam: *lining up his shot, tongue sticking out in concentration* C’mon, just this once... just this ONCE...
*He takes the shot. The cue ball completely misses his target and instead knocks in one of Sebastian’s balls.*
Sam: *throws his head back dramatically* NOOOO!
Sebastian: *calmly sinks another shot, completely unfazed*
Sam: *groans* Dude. DUDE. Why won’t you let me win?!
Sebastian: *shrugging, effortlessly hitting another perfect shot* Skill issue.
Sam: *drops his cue stick in betrayal* YOU-
Sebastian: *smirks* Try aiming next time.
Sam: *pointing aggressively* That’s it. We’re drinking.
Sebastian: *frowns* ...Pass.
Sam: *grinning mischievously* You sure? You know our wives are gonna be soooooo mad if we don’t enjoy the night properly.
Sebastian: *pause* That’s emotional manipulation.
Sam: *smug grin* Yup!
Sebastian: *sighs* Fine. One drink.
~Hours Later~
~Sebastian and Sam are absolutely wasted at the bar. Abigail, sitting beside them, is still nursing her first drink, thoroughly entertained. Shane, Pam, Gus, and Emily are watching from various spots, along with a handful of regulars. Aleia and Yvonne walk in, instantly sensing trouble.~
Sebastian: *giggling uncontrollably, leaning on the counter* Yvonne... Yvonne... listen. *leans in dramatically* Samson likes you.
Sam: *gasps in betrayal, slamming his beer down* SEBASTIAN. YOU SWORE ON THE BRO CODE.
Yvonne: *blinks* Uhm... Sam, honey, we’re married.
Sam: *waves hands dramatically* THAT’S NOT THE POINT. HE’S A BACKSTABBER. *points shakily at Sebastian* YOU’RE A BACKSTABBER, SEBBY!
Shane: *watching with a smirk* Oh, this is gonna be good.
Sebastian: *pauses, squinting as if deep in thought* Wait, wait... *gasps* I AM.
Sam: *nodding aggressively* YES, YOU ARE.
Sebastian: *suddenly slamming his fist on the bar* ALEIA NEEDS TO KNOW.
Sam: *staggers up, raising a wobbly finger* ALEIA! SEBBY HAS A CRUSH ON YOU!
Aleia: *completely unimpressed, while holding her baby son that looks just like his emo father but with his mother's magenta hair color* Wow. I would’ve never known.
Shane: *taking a sip of his beer* What a shocking twist. Didn’t see that one coming.
Sebastian: *dramatically placing a hand on his chest* No, you don’t understand... I think about her all the time. Even when I’m coding... she’s there.
Sam: *tearfully nodding* Dude. That’s deep.
Abigail: *snickering* You’re literally married.
Gus: *leaning on the counter, watching with amusement* You know, I don’t see these two get drunk very often.
Emily: *grinning as she wipes a glass* And now we know why.
Pam: *laughs, raising her drink* Bunch of lightweights. This is nothing.
Yvonne: *pinching the bridge of her nose* I’m married to this.
Sam: *gasps in betrayal* THAT HURT MORE THAN LOSING AT POOL.
Sebastian: *also gasps* You always lose at pool.
Sam: *ugly crying* SEB, WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?!
Sebastian: *tearfully* I DUNNO, MAN. I JUST AM!
*The two dramatically cry into each other’s shoulders while everyone else watches, amused.*
Shane: *deadpan* This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen.
Abigail: *raising her glass* To dumb best friends.
Shane: *clinking his drink against hers* To dumb best friends.
Gus: *grinning* On the house for entertainment value alone.
Emily: *laughing* I should start charging admission for this.
Aleia & Yvonne: *exchange exhausted looks, already planning their husbands’ hangover revenge tomorrow.*
Sooo, I found this skit in my drafts and completely forgot to post it. Today’s Friday, which perfectly matches the skit’s chaotic atmosphere, so I hope you enjoy this poor attempt at being funny.
For those who are curious: Aleia and Yvonne are my farmer OCs (I’m still working on their character sheets, biographies, and seasonal outfits), and yes, they’re married to those two bachelors in my game.
There’ll be more content in the future. I’m also currently working on my other fanfics and there's going to be a new skit called, “Romance Royalley.” All I can say is... this one is completely unhinged.
