C/w: Unhealthy behavior, OCs, yandere male, tsundere male, kidnapping, violence against doors, slight fluff (?), slight comfort (?), reader insert, gender neutral reader, includes a picture of cutting board with fruits and a knife (you’ll see why~).
A/n: So! Back with another chapter for Collar Crimes. I had a plan originally to introduce another yandere in this chapter, but the build-up here is quite delicious in my opinion so I’ll save the introduction for whenever the time comes. Basically a tiny time-skip from the last chapter because I was thinking that the problem was that everything that was happening to you, the reader, takes too little time between each “event” so to speak, so yeah! Also exploring some of your personal life outside of Eris and friends. Enjoy~!
Masterlist | Part 5, Part 6 (you’re here!), Part 7
It has been about a month since the Family Portrait incident and life has returned to normal…
But what would be considered abnormal at this point?
Briiing! Briiing! Tch.
“Hello~ This is Lychee speaking~ How may I sweeten up your day today?” you sing into the phone.
“Sweetheart~ I’ve missed you sooooo much!” the caller answers.
Although no one besides your coworkers can see your face, you resist the urge to roll your eyes at yet another cringey lovey-dovey line of your newest client. That nickname is one of the many roles you’ve had to take on.
Sometimes, you get called even more vulgar things you do not wish to recall at the moment. But whatever the customer wants, the customer gets— you play the role, they pay your bills. Can't really complain.
Of course, your mind echoes, no one could beat the way Eris calls you “lov-
Bang!
You slam your head against your desk, producing a loud bang. Your client on the line worriedly exclaims, “S-sweetheart? What was that?”
You clear your throat, fingers tenderly pressed against the sore area on your forehead. “N-nothing at all, dear~ I just accidentally dropped a heavy stapler. It’s been a long day, ah…”
Speaking of that guy, ever since he dropped you off at home and disappeared, you haven’t seen him around. Specifically only physically, since your fridge is still stocked with fresh meals. Still, the lack of his dopey smiling face for a whole month straight is… concerning. What is he planning?
“Aww~ My sweetheart is working so hard… I’ll tell you what. Tonight, I’ll take you to the fanciest restaurant in the city, okay? My treat.”
Wow. Such a grand gesture. This client really enjoys roleplaying some rich savior. Kind of like- “Ehhh? You really don’t have to do that,” you humbly answer. “And besides, I’m working pretty late tonight so… ”
“Noooo! You can’t refuse,” your client says. “I’ll march right up to your company and kidnap you away myself if I have to.”
“Pffft. Don’t make that kind of joke, Ren!” you fake laugh. Dear lord, if only the police were more reliable in this godforsaken city…
“Ah~ I really like it when you say my name. Do it again.”
“Ren?”
“Again. But more lovely.”
“Ren~” you repeat with a soft and breathy tone.
The caller on the phone giggles maniacally before they bid you goodbye with lots of kisses and other corny romantic lines, making you shiver. You hang up the phone with a little force and release a heavy sigh as you slouch back against your chair. One of your coworkers leans back far on her own chair to show her face past the divider between your desks.
“Long daaay?” she asks.
Eye closed, you nod. “Mmhm.”
…..
Sensing eyes on you, you open your own and turn towards your coworker, who looks like she’s a soda can about to burst. You almost laugh. “Yes?”
She puckers up her lip, humming, “Mmm… ya know~ The usual? Can I? Please?”
You mentally prepare yourself and shrug. “Yeah. Sure.”
“Yay!” She celebrates with both arms raised before she takes a deep breath. “So-”
-----
“-or not? Like how do I know if she really loves me? What do you think, (Y/n)?”
Truth be told, you might have zoned out after twenty minutes before zoning back in during the last few minutes of the hour-long rant. Shockingly, not a single call came in to interrupt the conversation. “Uh… so what’s the problem again?” you ask. “Didn’t she already agree to date you?”
“I know,” Cherry insists, throwing her hands up in defeat. “But I'm still so worried. Like what if she looks at someone else and finds them better than me?” She gasps and grabs at her hair. “HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO COMPARE??? SHE IS A GODDESS, I TELL YOU. I AM NOTHING BUT A DISGUSTING BUG THAT NEEDS TO STEPPED ON OR SO HELP ME-”
You keep silent as she releases her passion out loud, much to the detriment of your other coworkers. Your other adjacent coworker, Azure, sat on your other side, leans back on his chair to join the conversation. “Hey, Cherry. If you’re this crazy about your girlfriend now, what’s gonna happen when you finally marry her?” he chuckles.
She quiets and turns towards Azure slowly like one of those possessed dolls, tears beading at the bottom of her eyes and crooked grin on her lips. “Ohoho… Well… If I had it my way…” She looks up thoughtfully and wraps her arms around her body. “I’d lock her up with me in our house and we’d stay in bed all day. Just me and my honey~ Isn’t that a wonderful idea?”
Old memories of a familiar dynamic bleed into your head, sending a shiver up your spine. That’s a horrible idea, you want to comment, but your voice doesn’t leave your tightened throat. Instead, what comes out is: “Uh… uh…
“Doesn’t your girlfriend like being outside though?” Azure points out.
Cherry tilts her head, still smiling. “Um... Yeah?”
“So if you keep her inside all day, won’t she come to hate you?”
Cherry’s maniacal face shatters into terror. “I… I…” Her pupils begin to tremble. “Could that happen? Could that really, really happen?”
“Oh, absolutely,” Azure responds. “If you love someone, you have to let them have the freedom to come and go. If they love you, they’ll stay. If they don’t, then let them go.”
Wow… that’s a really mature-
“Then again,” His voice then becomes more dark and gravelly, “You never know who’s just waiting to come in out of nowhere and sweep them off their feet. Relationships are… a delicate balance, of giving and taking. If your girlfriend wanders around too much, maybe you should keep her on a tight leash. I know I would…”
You stare at him and then your eyes move towards the solid, light blue top of your desk where your keyboard lies. Perhaps it may be because of your age or because of the recent chaos you’ve experienced, that you’ve started to notice these little things. Like how some of the keys on your keyboard that you use a lot are a little lower than the ones you typically don’t use. Or how there are tiny, tiny imperfections on the surface of your desk that you don’t feel at all when you pass your fingers across them. Or how far back you and your coworkers have to lean back just to see each other past the deep dividers, just like how you’ve never noticed how… odd they were before despite working here for about five years now. How much are you missing?
“I mean, I guess she’s not really someone who goes out much… ”
“Is that so? That’s good then, right? Don’t you live right next to her?”
“Yeah… Yeah! You’re right! We can just move in together! Hey, when are you-”
What exactly attracted Eris to you in the first place? Is it the same as what attracted your ex? What about you exactly causes the attraction, because you would really like to stop being a magnet for all of these weirdos, romantic or platonic!
-----
“Since we're both alone… I was thinking… we should become a family together… Isn't that a good idea?”
-----
… One weirdo is okay, you suppose. Everyone has that one weirdo in their life, and there could be worse individuals. When he’s not annoyingly clingy, Eris is… a decent person. Like when you’d come home after a long, hard day, he greeted you at the door with that dopey smile of his. He’d draw a bath for you or massage your shoulders. Then he’d present and serve a dish he spent all day cooking just for you. And then dessert. And then tuck you in for the night, making sure the AC is at the optimal temperature to sleep comfortably and cozy.
…..
You groan. Maybe it’s better this way. You’ll get used to being by yourself again, just like after you left… that person. Besides, it was getting annoying having to endure his warm hugs and sweet whispers all the time…
Bang!
“(Y/n)!?” Cherry shrieks after you bang your head on your desk again.
Azure snickers. “You must be thinking of lover boy, huh?”
You glare at him through your eyes and voice, your ever-present blank expression lending no assistance. “No. Say that again and I’ll stick my foot up your ass, Blueberry.”
You can visibly see his shoulders shake as he smirks, containing his laughter. “I really can’t take you seriously when you have such a straight face.” He settles down with an amused sigh, a look of concern replacing his smirk. “But seriously, you seem kind of… I dunno. Out of it lately.”
You wrinkle your eyebrows. “... Really?”
“Yeah! Azure’s right. Even your Lychee voice is lacking that… that sparkle-sparkle quality,” Cherry adds, mimicking fireworks with her hands. “Are you okay, (Y/n)? You’re even banging your head…” Her red eyes go wide. “You’re not trying to erase memories of those perverted callers, are you!? THERE ARE BETTER WAYS-”
“I’m sure that’s not what (Y/n)’s trying to do, right? ‘Cause if you need forgetting,” Azure says, patting your back before taking out a black bat with skulls and x’s patterned all over it from under his desk, “all you just need to do is ask. I’ll help you out for free, courtesy as a fellow Fruity Friend~”
“Yeah…” You ignore the happy-murderer look on Azure’s face, sit up straight, and place both of your hands on your desk with determination. “You know what? I think I need a vacation.”
Cherry and Azure gasp. “A vacation!?”
Indeed… You stand up from your desk with such vigor it elicits a second gasp from them and walk straight towards the manager’s office. A vacation is exactly what I need. Away from this job. Away from my apartment. Away from all of these crazy people!!!
-----
[30 minutes later…]
“YOU CAN’T, (Y/N)! PLEASE, YOU CAN’T GO ON VACATION. YOU’RE ONE OF OUR BEST CALLERS! Y-YOU KNOW WHAT?? HOW ABOUT I RAISE YOUR SALARY, HUH?”
You click your tongue. “You can’t buy me with mon-”
“I’ll raise your salary to XXXXXX.”
“.....”
-----
You close the office door behind you with a sigh. Looking next to you, you find Cherry and Azure waiting with bated breath, making the questioning gesture with their palms up to receive the verdict.
“So?” Cherry speaks, her pouty lips making an ‘o’.
You simply answer with a shrug, “I got a pay raise.”
The two of them drop their arms and groan. “I knew it,” Azure sighs, burying his face in his hands. “The money’s too good to quit!”
While you failed to acquire approval for vacation, you’re not feeling too bad considering your income has just upgraded from rent money and leftover takeout to rent money and luxurious restaurant dine-in and leftovers. Though, with your fridge stocked, you suppose you could apply the extra funds towards other things…
But what things? you wonder. Other than a place to live, something to eat, and the bathroom, there is not much you desire nowadays. Once upon a time, you would’ve slobbered over luxury brand items and all that stuff… Hah. You found out the hard way that all the sparkling opulence in the world couldn’t afford you any warmth and comfort in a cold, restrictive cage.
Out of an old habit you haven’t gotten rid of, you start to caress your left ring finger with your right index finger and thumb. “Riiight?” you agree, bitterly.
-----
With the end of the work day, employees of Fruity Friends bid their adieus to each other and either set foot home or to an outing. You, Azure, and Cherry head out of the doors of your company building and down the stairs onto the sidewalk.
“C’mooon! Are you sure you don’t want to join us?” Cherry whines, behind you with hands on your shoulders.
“Yeah, gonna go home,” you answer, shoulders wobbling from side-to-side with each step. “Wanna sleep.”
Azure snickers on the side. “What are you? A senior citizen?”
“Hardy har har,” you laugh unenthusiastically, gently brushing Cherry’s hands off your shoulder. “You guys go on ahead without me, okay? Have fun.”
At that moment, a black limousine with tinted black windows drives up the curb and stops into front of you three. The chauffeur comes out, a middle-aged man with salt and pepper hair, dressed in a fancy chauffeur outfit, and gestures towards you before greeting, “Good afternoon, dear esteemed guest of the Ermine Family. We are here to escort you to your dinner reservation with our eldest son, Eris Ermine.”
You stare like a deer in headlights. “Huh?”
Azure and Cherry look between you and the chauffeur before teasing you with an, “Ooooooh!”
“Wow~ fancy, fancy~” Cherry nudges you with her elbow.
“Got a dinner date with lover boy, huh~?” Azure nudges you on your other side.
They said Eris, but… “I’m sorry, I think you have the wrong person,” you say, jabbing your coworkers with your own elbows at their sides to make them stop.
The chauffeur shakes his head. “I do believe we have the right person. You are (Y/n) (M/n) (L/n), are you not?”
You almost click your tongue, but don’t out of manners. You haven’t seen that stupid guy in over a month and now he suddenly sends someone to pick you up? That’s so… unlike him.
“I’m not. I’ve been mistaken for that person before. Bye,” you say, grabbing your coworkers by the shoulders and dragging off. Your coworkers luckily get the memo and decide to go along without resistance.
“My deepest apologies, dear (L/n),” the chauffeur says, pulling the visor of his hat slightly downward. “I was informed by Mr. Ermine that if you do not come willingly, we are required to use force if needed.”
Goosebumps race along your skin upon his words, sending you into high gear as you grab your coworkers by arms and pull them into a run, managing only a few feet before to get pulled down by the weight of your coworkers. Looking at them in confusion, you find little fuzzy-ended darts embedded into the back of their necks. Before you can scream or make a move, gloved arms cover your mouth and wrap around your body, lifting you up into the air and towards the limousine. Struggle as you might, your restrained punches and kicks have no effect on the kidnappers.
After you get thrown into the backseat of the limousine, you immediately try to get up and out only for the door to slam shut. The push button is immediately locked, trapping you inside. You hear the chauffeur getting to the driver’s seat. Making a last ditch attempt, you throw yourself against the windows, the side windows and the tinted window separating you and the chauffeur, but your effort is vain and all you end up with are two bruised shoulders. Punching against the glass, you screaming, “LET ME OUT OR I SWEAR TO GOD I- I- I'LL-”
Tssshhhh…
“Apologies, dear guest” the chauffeur merely says, as you begin to lose consciousness from the gas leaking into the backseat. The last thing you hear from him is, “This is just business.”
-----🔔-----
For newcomers who dare set foot in the city of Agobury, it is highly advised to pay close attention to where their foot lands. Any one spot could be the right step into the right places, or being the right way to get tossed into the water for the wild piranhas to eat.
…..
Try not to be the latter. Most of the inhabitants of the city live on paved streets like the classy folk they are, and no one has the time to dig six feet down at the edge of the city for some nobody's corpse to rot in. Got it?
Of course, as humor goes, there is no clear distinction or indication for which streets belong to who. To an outside, that is. It is often said that only those born and raised in Agobury can survive in Agobury. And those who used to live in Agobury… Well, nobody talks about them, get the gist?
However, if an outsider does somehow manage to succeed in assimilating into the city, then it is often said that they have made a deal with the Devil. The May Devils, to be exact, who are rumored to own more than half of the city. The other half is supposedly scattered between smaller organizations, but they too warrant respect or fear by their own right.
“Or so they say,” Ollie murmurs, arms crossed as he leans against the wall.
He stands up straight and looks at his best friend, who’s humming a tune while placing a tin full of batter into the oven. This scene of Eris dressed up in a pink apron decorated with red hearts and matching oven mitts goes against Eris’s typical image, prompting him to demand, “What the hell are you doing? Training to be a malewife or something?”
Eris snaps out of his daydreams and looks over. “Hm? Oh! Nah, I suggested that to my lover already and they refused. And this, I'm just baking a cake for my six-month relationship milestone~”
“Oh.” Ollie deadpans. “That's a thing?”
“Uh, yeah?” Eris answers as if Ollie just asked if the sky was blue. He takes off his oven mitts and tosses them on the counter before prepping the washed fruits on a cutting board. “So make sure your men take extra care in delivering this one, mkay? I'll kill them if my lover gets a mess.”
Ollie tosses a glance behind himself, taking note of the stone walls and surprisingly mahogany-plated bolted steel door separating this room from the rest of the world. Of course, there is a guard waiting outside to help him get in and out, and several cameras to serve as extras eyes in case of an emergency, but he knows better than anyone that even with the room being several hundred feet underground and locked behind several dozens of thick, reinforced steel gateways, it all wouldn’t be enough to keep Eris cooped up here.
In fact, for the last four weeks, Eris has turned what used to be an empty stone-covered haunted looking basement into a cozy home for himself, and having Ollie’s men deliver the goods. To be fair, the May Devils probably gave the weasel some furniture and a usable kitchen just to keep the violent man occupied and placated with the lack of windows and any access to the outside world. So million dollar question is-
“Why haven’t you broken out yet?” Ollie asks. “I thought you'd put up more of a fight.”
Eris pops a blueberry into his mouth to test out if it's sweet or not. Finding it at the right level of sweetness, he hums in delight as he imagines you happily enjoying this same sweetness.
“Oh, that. Well… y’know your parents visited me a few days ago and gave me some advice. They said that distance makes the heart grow fonder. I don't exactly agree with that since I feel like I'm dying every day I don’t see my lover,” Eris says with a smile on his face though his eyes are dark and his chopping of the apples is audibly sharp as if to emphasize the point. “But your parents have been married for so long and have many children together and they still clearly love each other, so I trust them.”
The same parents who have been urging me to make a move on (Y/n) ever since you’ve been locked up, Ollie almost wants to add out of spite. Almost. Trust is truly a fragile commodity around these parts.
“Besides, I gotta stay away for a while,” Eris continues. “I didn’t realize the flies around my lover were devils.”
“Huh… How kind of you.” And out-of-character! The Eris he knew didn't care about consequences. What kind of sorcery have you casted on that beast of a weasel? Not that Ollie himself hasn't been bewitched somewhat, if he had to be honest…
Eris’s expression turns wicked with a condescending smirk. “Oh, right. You probably don’t understand ‘cause you haven’t fallen in love yet. My bad~ ” he teases.
One of Ollie’s eyes twitches. “I'll have you know-”
“That our Ollie has fallen in love~”
Eris turns and Ollie twists around to find Ollie's mother, who has appeared out of nowhere along with Ollie's father in tow.
“Mother!? Father!? What are you doing here?” Ollie exclaims.
Ollie's mother pouts and places her hands on her hips. “We can't visit our son and his best friend?”
“Well, that's-”
“But anyway~” Ollie's mother waves her hand, cutting Ollie off. “Our dear Ollie has fallen in love, dear Eris. Unfortunately, it is…” She places a hand over heart and the other over her forehead in a dramatic pose with fluttering eyes. “A forbidden love,” she finishes. Ollie's father nods, placing a hand over his heart and looking forlorn to emphasize the drama.
“Again!? You two, stop it!” Ollie pleads.
Eris crooks an eyebrow in disbelief. “Forbidden love? Ollie?”
Ollie turns back to Eris, fear in his wide eyes. He wouldn't call what he felt for you… “love” as his parents keep telling him, but… it might be… something close to it. Maybe. Despite having the back of his head slammed against the wooden floor of your apartment, he still hasn't forgotten how your heavenly happy face made his heart skip a beat-
Ollie would be hard-pressed to call that “love”. It’s not! He barely knows you. It's like, uh, like admiring a beautiful piece of art, okay?? Art prompts feelings. That's what it's supposed to do!
But there's no possible way he could share and work out these feelings with Eris or anyone else without getting beat up or made fun of. Damn it… “It's not love!” Ollie insists.
Eris snorts. “Okay.”
Ding!
“Oh! My cake!” Eris chirps, forgetting about the other people in the room in favor of bringing out the cake and prepping the frosting and icing for when it cools down.
Ollie's mother wraps an arm around Ollie’s shoulder to keep him in place as she leans towards Ollie's ear and whispers behind a hand, “I see you've already made a move on our dear (Y/n). How devious~”
“What??” Ollie shrieks.
Eris looks over curiously. Blocking his view is Ollie’s father, who flops a hand up and down as if to say, “Don't mind them.” The unsuspecting weasel nods in understanding before Ollie’s father points to the bowl of cream in Eris’s hands, which prompts Eris to explain the whole six month relationship milestone thing while the mother-and-son duo are scheming in the background.
Ollie's cheeks are being squished almost to the point of painful by his mother’s fingers. “Since when have you decided to raise your voice at your mother?” she jokes menacingly before she releases his cheeks and drags him out of the room and through one gateway. Once that gateway shut, his mother crosses her arms with a pout. “What's with that reaction earlier, hm?”
Ollie only looks at her incredulously. “Mother! One, I'm not interested in-” He whispers, trying to avoid his voice from being picked up by the cameras in the hallway. “(Y/n) like that. Two, they’re Eris's lover and I like living, thank you very much. And three, I haven't made any kind of moves.”
“Eh?” She looks at him with confusion. “Well, first of all, there’s no ring so you still have a chance. Secondly, everyone knows, besides Eris, that you’re interested in them so might as well make your move-”
Ollie chokes on his tongue. “Huh-”
“And three, how come you made the reservation for Eris and his lover if you’re not attending?” his mother asks.
Ollie's eyebrows furrowed. “I didn't make any reservations for them. Did you?”
“No…?”
The two go back inside the basement and interrogate Eris, who is in the middle of deciding what color to make the frosting. Ollie’s father, on the other hand, is assisting with coming up with potential designs for the cake, utilizing parchment paper and colored frosting.
“Huh? I didn't make any dinner reservations?” Eris says, confused before his eyes begin to light up. “Wait, are those devils letting me go?”
“No. But if you didn't make any reservations, then who is your lover going with?”
…..
“You weren't joking?” Eris's voice goes shrill. His eyes panically jolt all over the place until a particular thought enters his mind. He slaps the palm of his hand against his forehead and groans.
Without needing a word, Ollie’s own eyes widen in horror. “It's not who I think it is, right?”
“Ah, could it be?” Ollie's mother wonders aloud, a person on her mind. Ollie's father tilts his head before his own eyes widen.
“DAMN IT!” Eris roars, slamming a fist on the counter before grabbing the knife and storming towards the door.
Ollie tries to stop him. “Eris, you can't-”
Eris sends the steel door flying with one kick. The impact against the parallel wall shatters the beautiful mahogany-plating instantly, leaving only a bent door collapsed on the wall, much to Ollie’s horror.
This particular door was only as thick as probably two doors. The rest of the reinforced doors standing in Eris’s way, well…
WOOOO! WOOOO! WOOOO!
The alarm goes off, signaling to the May Devil's security team to come take down their most dangerous prisoner who's on his way to you.
Ollie pinches the bridge of his nose. “Why is it always the mahogany…”
