#brotherseternal

[nouvada]

Me, Glen, Abel, Enoch, Nathan and Simon after our visit to Tande and Peter at Bomana Prison. #CuriaRegisSociety #DeathBeforeDishonour #BrothersEternal #BombexVisit #TangTang

[rhage-hollywood]

Circle of Life

BETH: -There had been a voice in the distance of Beth’s pain and agony saying she was bleeding too much, so much blood, unable to stop it, that she’d have to be put under...she needed surgery to help the baby...stop the bleeding...save her life…. Between the pain and the anesthetic Beth had floated off pretty quickly with only thoughts that their baby was born okay, it didn’t matter what happened to her, just bring him into the world safely, Wrath would need him if anything happened to her. Hadn’t she wanted that all along when she’d thought about this eventuality on the birthing bed if things went south and she didn’t make it, that she would leave behind a part of her and her King that would love Wrath. But whatever Beth’s worries she was awake now, her reproductive parts were gone, but what did that matter when she was looking at the most precious sight she’d ever seen. She hadn’t made a sound yet, her heart constricting with so much love she wanted to burst. Wrath was sat in the chair at the side of the bed cradling the smallest little thing wrapped in a white blanket. His head was bent, and she watched his fingertips roaming gently, slowly, over the baby’s face. Their baby was here! Her heart gave one lovely roll in her chest, love so full she couldn’t stop smiling. There was her little family… The queen didn’t think she’d ever stop smiling… maybe it was the drugs floating her head,  but she knew it was the love of her family.. and then someone occurred through her fogged mind.. the white blanket gave nothing away to which..boy or girl..she’d given birth to.. - Beloved.. -her voice rasped, her smile growing when that black head reared up, what he felt was all over his beautiful face,  and she was punched again with just how deeply in love with this man she was. God, it staggered her…- Beloved -she repeated- Did you win our bet……

Six hours ago……

  WRATH: -I was sure every brother and Shellan had come by the PT suite at least twice, and to think we haven't even been here more than 30 minutes. I was silently hoping the coming hours weren't going to be like this because they were already aggravating the hell out of me. Of course Beth was happy to see each and everyone of them and even joining in on the poll for the sex of the young. I was on the losing side of said poll, alone. I did want a son, or daughter. Neither mattered. I only wanted my young to not be hindered with the same issues I have to live with.- Stop trying to get up, Leelan. Jane wants you to take it easy right now, I will call her back if you move. -Lips pulling to a grin as I gently forced her back to the reclined position the bed was set on.-  I hope you'll be ready to pay up when you lose the bet Leelan. I plan to take my winnings immediately. -giving her a deep kiss.-  do you need to feed? Or water?  -Shit my mind was everywhere. I'd never been through this. None of Jane or Beth's advice was really helping. It was useless information at this point.-

  BETH: -There was no warning niggle of pain as Beth transitioned into full blown labor. In the middle of teasing Wrath as he fussed with her bedding for the hundredth time she felt like the road runner being squashed by a 100 tonne anvil from a great height. The pain radiating outwards- Jesus motherfu………..wow…. -her groan was strained and with the help of tiny little angels and the grip of Wrath’s hand that very first labor pain would forever stay in Beth’s mind. Of course there was more, a lot more, a shit ton of more as the hours ticked by- you and your dick did this to me, Wrath! -she moaned sucking down on ice chips. Friggin ice. Like they would sooth what ailed her. How about bringing the pregnant one a double bacon cheeseburger and a malted shake?? The man in question was rubbing his large hands over her back digging into those sore spots until she about forgot the pain and dived into heaven. It only lasted a brief moment, but Beth held onto those moments in between each contraction, her moan teetering between teasing and absolutely meaning it- I’m never talking to either of you again! -fickle she was, she pulled Wrath down to eye level and nuzzled his chin while the docs got up close and soooooo personal with her downstairs business, muttering to each other…- you haven’t taken a breath in ten minutes, Wrath. If you keel over I will name the baby Herbert munster, I swear it! -because she knew him, knew his ways now, there was no calming Wrath until this thing was done and dusted, but she grinned anyway- Have a hit on that gas…. jesus… it sends you floating to the ceiling, baby….. -as normal as things were going in that moment, it went south reeeeal damn fast when pristine white bed linens suddenly became crimson red. Her hand gripped tighter in Wrath’s, who was holding onto who she didn’t know, but they both wore a look that was the same; fear for their unborn baby-

  WRATH: -Jane demanded I stay seated where I was, though my legs burned to move and do something, to help in some manner.  I couldn’t, utterly fucking helpless in the corner of the PT Suite.  I don’t know where it all went wrong.  She fed and fed until there was so little left but it would make no difference,  the only ones who could help her was Jane, Manny and Vishous who was trying to explain what was going on to me, but at this point it didn’t matter to me what Jane needed to do, just that the shit get done so my Shellan was alive.  Her pain was sour on my tongue and worsening by the second, yelling to Jane to just fucking do something it took every single ounce of willpower to stay where I wasn’t in the way of anything they were doing.  Already so many hours had passed and still the young had not been born yet, my questions did nothing but take moments away from the team that needed to have their full concentration on my Shellan.  Dear Scribe if something happened, if she was taken from me this night I was unsure how I would deal, how I would even continue.  It wasn’t her time to leave me, to leave our family that had barely started, she didn’t get that choice….. -

  BETH: Baby s’okay…. s’okay… -already the anesthetic was working, drawing Beth under so the docs could work quickly on giving her the life saving surgery both her and the baby needed. Rhage was flanked at Wrath’s side, she tried to reach for her man, to somehow ease the pain on his face, she’d never seen him so vividly terrified and that alone caused her heart to constrict…. she had to believe everything would be okay, yet it didn’t stop her from praying….again she told Wrath it would be okay…..  but already the drugs worked, just giving Beth enough time to whisper hoarsely...insistently to Manny- baby is most important… whatever you do… save baby..please.. -looking at Wrath until her world blanked out.. the pain gone….-

  WRATH: -Seconds turned to hours, and somehow I ended up with Rhage standing guard of the door as I paced the hallway over and over.  There were no telling signs coming from the operating room, none at all.  How could any of this happen?  Why did Beth make it a point to make sure the baby was saved instead of her, as if Jane had the choice, she didn’t.  She would do whatever she needed to do to save them both.  I wouldn’t give up on either of them until I myself took my last dying breath.  But that shit wasn’t happening today.  Instead of believing my own words I could only hear what could very well be considered my Shellans dying wish.  My soul was shattered into thousands of pieces that would never fit again without Elizabeth doing the reconstructing herself.  And she would, I just had to believe both of the Doctors knew what they were doing, even though both of them were from another race.  Fuck, there goes my doubt again.  The worst of all, I could no longer sense her pain, it more than terrified me.  Passing the brother again without a word.  All of my worries were coming to a head, I knew this would happen, I did, it’s why I protested so much but she wouldn’t hear my words, except now I was also worried for our young, never before did I think there could or would be complications with the young, my thoughts were always for my Shellan.  Heartache boiled and tore me to shreds.  So much time had passed since I was literally dragged from the room that I wasn’t even sure until….-  I.  Jane…. tell me……. -My words died on my tongue when she positioned my arms the same way I held Nalla when she was a newborn young.  So much pride swelled in my chest I knew a grin had to be pulling my mug tight, relief, so much relief and worry filled me to the brim.  Rhage’s hand to my shoulder stopped me in my tracks.  Beth had to see her son.  Slowly everything started filtering through the euphoria I was in.  Jane and Manny could only save her by performing a hysterectomy.  Only a moment passed before I nodded and entered the room, thankfully the scent of her blood was no longer strong, someone was smart enough to realize if Id walked through the door I wouldn’t want to experience the aftermath.  With Jane’s help to a chair at her bedside and reassurance that Mahmen and young were doing wonderful she took her leave.  The soft beep of the monitors continued on as I held our son.  Beth would never let me live down my loss of our bet, but I was relieved that she would be able to.  Only hours ago I was sure she would pass onto the Fade with our son.-   Sleep as long as you need, Leelan mine.  -Giving her arms a soft stroke before dropping my hand back to the bundle of blankets and flesh.  My son, our son.  I never once thought I would be this happy, that I would want this.  But I would fight the Scribe herself to have this.  Slowly studying his face with my fingertips, he would change so much in the coming weeks I would need to memorize everything again and again, and fuck I’d enjoy every second of it.  He was such a quiet little one, definitely not like his Mahmen.  The thought alone made me chuckle……  ……  Her words were music to my ears and pulled me from my trance on our son.-  I did, Leelan mine.  -Slowly standing enough to lean over her with our son in my arms, giving her lips, hair, cheeks, nose every damn inch of her I could reach with my lips a kiss.-  I think our young would like to meet his Mahmen, Leelan.  

  BETH: -There had been such happy times in the last few years for Beth, especially since Wrath stalked his way into her life, but nothing absolutely nothing compared to this very moment her man laid their baby into her arms. There was no stopping the blubbing. She cried and cried so overjoyed it all just leaked out of her eyes- oh Wrath.. he’s perfect… completely perfect -she stared in awe down at him asleep and content wrapped snuggly in a blanket. She just had to unwrap quickly to count all his little toes and fingers- He had toes and fingers, Wrath! little toes.. and little fingers. He’s beautiful and perfect -of course he looked exactly like Wrath, even down to the dark fluffy hair that formed into a widows peak and when his eyes blinked open she saw his pupils and dark irises. Beth reached out and grasped Wrath’s hand tight until he edged his frame onto the side of the bed. Her little family. All hers.. there wasn’t words for the joy lifting happiness she felt- baby we did it, we so did it- Hello, Axhton Kyne, we’re going to drive you soooo crazy with how much we love you. -His name had already been chosen months ago, even when Wrath was sure they were having a girl. But the name they would use was the one she’d referred to all along- Little Wrath has your face, baby. My two boys.. -she kissed her sons head and then pressed a kiss to Wrath’s lips- I love you, Wrath. -and there went her happy eye leaking again-

  WRATH: -Her pride and joy was so overwhelming it could choke me.  Nestled on the tiny bed with my Shellan at my side and our young in her arms it was a moment I thought would never come to pass, not even after I had met Elizabeth all those eves ago.  It was in all essence a dream come true, and one I would forever tell our young son.  Maybe when he’s old enough to understand at least.  My grin had stayed cemented to my face and would take an utter catastrophe to make it falter.  I couldn’t even begin to explain the emotions that were filling me to myself, not even to my Shellan.-  You did, Leelan, it was all you my Queen.  –If I didn’t need to be gentle, or worry she may break after all she had been through I would have smothered her to my chest and made her feel everything I did right now. -  No words can express how much I love you, my Beth, none at all.  –I couldn’t believe so little time had passed after first finding she was with our child but it kept playing like a never ending story in my mind.  So much happiness and joy with the news of this little male in my Shellans arms that was smaller than half of my arm.  She did this, all of this, for me, for us.  Dearest Scribe she couldn’t be any more perfect than she already was.  Wrapping her with my arm as best I could without disturbing her or our son.  Today was just the first day as our family but already I felt love and full to the brim of my heart for our family we created.-  You, my Queen, have given me everything I wanted and so much more…. #CircleOfLife

[rhage-hollywood]

Awaiting a Royal

BETH: -The queen wouldn’t admit she was slightly miffed and more than embarrassed that her and Wrath had made such a fuss about the start of her labor, and it turned out to be braxton hicks. Jane had left a bit ago issuing orders to just rest, that the labor would come soon enough so they should enjoy the peace and quiet while they could. Beth sulked back into the water laying against Wrath’s chest, her fingers playing idly with his- well… that was eventful.. -she almost smiled, her belly still aching like she’d been stood on. Wrath was quiet, usually Beth left him to his thoughts, knowing how her man internalized, but she wanted to know what was on his mind- Are you scared as I am, baby? -her head nestled back resting on his shoulder, there was no good way to shift all the extra pounds she’d put on, so she lay like a slug- I don’t mind admitting I’m more than a little terrified. I thought that was it and suddenly it’s become very very real and I don’t think I’m ready for it.... -she did smile then, kissed his fingertips- I was so preoccupied with getting pregnant, I hadn’t thought of the actual birth. -there was a hitch in Beth’s voice as she pictured it all. God.- I’m going to give birth to a bowling ball, through the space of an apple. My god, Wrath, why didn’t you stop my crazy ideas! you’re King, you could have commanded I not get pregnant! -the water lapped around them, enveloping Beth and her swollen bowling ball in divine heat- is it too late to change my mind you think?

  WRATH: -I knew she was trying to take me from my thoughts, but I just couldn’t leave them, not with everything we both went through in a matter of minutes less than an hour prior.  I didn’t particularly want to voice exactly what I was thinking, it would make her already racing heart and mind worsen.  I wasn’t as worried as I should have been, not when Jane left with a grin and a "not long now but not today".  Fuck.  We weren’t ready, I wasn’t ready; the Bastards were still on the loose and wanting to take everything that wasn’t theirs.-  I tried to stop you, Leelan.  I can’t exactly make it go away now, can I?  If I remember correctly you wanted to have more than one, a bundle of dark haired little girls for your King.  -Lips pulling to the hint of a grin as I brushed against her throat moving the mane of her hair from my path.-  Jane says you’ll do just fine, Leelan, I’m sure the docs know what they’re talking about.  Or you could wish for a fairy Godmother and see if she can bypass the whole birthing. The Scribe wouldn't do such a thing so it would be a good idea to start making those wishes Leelan. The -hands drifted down her sides to slide against the swell of her stomach- clock is ticking…..

  BETH: -Her husband thought himself funny , she could hear it in his tone and it settled some of her nerves. Didn't stop her from elbowing him again. - look at you with all the jokes, wise guy, we’ll have a stage built in the foyer for your act.. -it was just a matter of time now before their baby would be with them, all these months of preparing, buying everything under the sun and watching those god awful birthing videos all came down to this, and it blew Beth's mind. It was so very real now. She felt both vomity and elated at the same time. When Wrath’s fingers stopped the ache in her lower back Beth groaned leaning deeper into his chest. The warm water helped, already her pained abdomen had eased but she knew something else much better to both body and her frantic head... The queen helped Wrath’s hand down into the water, guiding him down and down until....  mmmm, bullseye.......She bumped up her hips, let her knees fall open naturally, almost obediently to what she needed, feeling that electric current slip down her spine at the mere brush of his fingertips. She murmured his name, brought his other hand up and began nibbling his inner arm. She wasn't hungry yet her mouth watered - ... Make me feel good, baby.. -if there was one thing on gods green earth who could pull Beth's focus it was Wrath and his touch. As it were just the flair of his bonding scent had her intoxicated as her eyes drifted closed on a purr-

  WRATH: The original jokester, Leelan mine. -I said against her throat as my fingers stroked and teased between her thighs letting off a low powered growl.  Mated to the sexiest Queen on Earth. urging her with slight pressure from my forearm to feed-  How did a male like me get so lucky, Leelan?  -Her soft purrs and the slight roll of her hips had me slowing the soft strokes against her core.-  And with young on the way so soon, a male could only dream of the likes of you Elizabeth.  And you're mine, Leelan -fangs pressed against her throat barely breaking her skin, allowing only enough to taste her on my tongue- All. Mine. -fuck, I could kill to be inside of her, to replace my fingers with my cock and feel every shudder I wrought on. Instead I leaned my head back against the tub allowing my hands to roam free and bring her the pleasure she was desperately chasing.  Had Jane told me sex was off the menu this close to giving birth? I couldn’t remember, she’d said so much these months, it had fried my brain trying to take it all in. The small chance that she had was the only thread keeping my cock pressed against Beth’s back instead of inside of her.  Unlike any other time I had to keep my control on a leash or….. fuuuuck, could this induce her labor?  Someone needed to have a rational mind when my Shellan was doing everything but.-  Leelan…..  are you sure this is okay?  

BETH: -If it wasn’t for the orgasm drilling into Beth’s entire body, her muscles tightened and then released in that euphoric slow relaxed way, she would have elbowed Wrath and told him to shut up. She swore her man would go gray before their baby was born. If there was something to worry over there was no doubt Wrath was already doing it ten minutes before. A minute or maybe a week later when her moans died away and she relaxed back into the water and his chest, the swirl of his fingertips still making her spasm and jerk slightly, Beth finally found her voice, husky from pleasure- Wrath, you have to give your brain a rest, okay?  you’ll give yourself a stroke, and we only have one hospital bed.  I’m fine, the baby is fine, and he’ll arrive when he’s ready to. It was an orgasm, not mountain climbing in West Africa -her lips curled up at each corner- I’m pretty positive it was okay….more than.  -And a miracle worker since the abdomen pain had dissipated completely-

  WRATH:  -There was reasons I couldn’t explain on why my brain wouldn’t just shut off, for one, it just didn’t work that way and never had.  But I did the best impersonation of someone who didn’t have a care in the world, sliding further down in the bath that Beth would allow without becoming uncomfortable herself.- For you I’ll try, Leelan, but it’s not an easy task, true?  -I was unsure when or how it happen but the slight tang of pain no longer sat on the flat of my tongue as it had when I first started our bath.  It was a relief, and lessened the amount of worry I once had, making it much easier for me to pull my facade of relaxation and ease for my Shellan.-  You’re so sure you carry my son, Leelan. I still have many hopes it’s a girl just like her Mahmen we will find.  With those piercing blue eyes and dark hair I dream of so often.  -Giving the swell of her stomach a soft stroke.- Nalla will not take kindly to having to share her princess title with our young.  You may need to speak to the little one about that before too much time has passed.  -Lips pulled to a grin thinking of the young that had every member of the household wrapped around her finger, no matter what disaster she wrought one of the brothers if not myself would be there to defend her against the world.  It would be much of the same for my own young when we greeted her, or if Beth was right, him.-  Or at least let her know that she may need to share her title, but I wont be the one to give her the bad news, Leelan.  This young was all your doing so you’ll do all the talking with little Nalla.  -Grinning against the column of her throat before leaning my head back onto the porcelain of the tub.-

  BETH: -Orgasms, a hot bath and a slice of Fritz’s German chocolate cake and all was right in Beth’s world again. She was sat cocooned in one of Wrath’s shirts and a pair of white fluffy socks while she lounged on the couch eating her dessert. There was background noise from the tv up on the wall, that show Wrath found hilarious, but Beth wasn’t paying it much attention, she was too busy giving the evil eye to Boo who was gradually sneaking up onto the couch in hopes of grabbing himself a nibble of the cake. She watched her beloved cat.. she knew his sneaky games. He bumped his head against her hand- None for you, chunky butt, you’ve already been fed and no doubt conned Fritz out of more tuna -she gave his ears a scratch. Appeasing him some when his eyes flickered closed and flopped his belly down to sleep- Hey, baby -she called through to the bedroom, wondering if Wrath had passed out on the bed since it was just all quiet through there. She swung her legs down, rubbed her hard belly- why don’t we begin the Thanksgiving prep with Fritz later if we’re not going back to wor------ -The Queen hadn’t even taken two steps towards her bedroom when something strange happened. Something very wet and strange. She was stood in a puddle on the floor. Now, Beth had always thought herself somewhat intelligent, she’d been an investigative journalist for years for godsake, so she trusted things she saw with her own eyes.. but when her waters had broken she stared down at her feet like the village idiot not computing for a good long minute what was actually happening. OhgodOhGodOhGod… no going back now, Beth…. she felt the nerves settle in even as she smiled excitedly and waddled to the open door saw Wrath as she suspected lounging face down on the bed. Her man needed sleep more than ever… but unfortunately for him, there was no time to sleep- Um.. hey, beloved… can you grab me a some sweats and clean socks, please…. -when he grunted she smiled wider…here goes... no time like the present to drop the bombshell on him. She knew he’d panic and worry and worry some more, it was his way. Her man liked to be in control and this situation had him in knots. - baby… there’s nothing to panic about, but I think we should go down to the PT suite and find our doctors…… -it was testament to how well she knew Wrath’s every nuance when she saw him stiffen and his big black head raise from the bed as if scenting danger- my waters have broken…all over the damn floor…  I blame the cake! -she chuckled and now that the labor was actually happening, that in a matter of hours -god, let it only be hours of labor and not days, she prayed silently- they’d meet their son, Beth felt pretty chipper about the whole thing. It was like being on a rollercoaster right as it crested over the dip, you either dreaded what was over the turn, or you hung on and screamed your head off with excitement…. and she intended to scream. A lot. - Beloved, you’re doing an awesome job of being a mannequin, really, first prize and all that -her tone was nothing but mirth watching him- but you think we should get moving now, if he’s anything like you, your son won’t wait……..

  WRATH:  -I couldn’t even remember where she put everything!  Her damn pajama dress thing she had to have, her pillow, something poppy and annoying on her ipod she hid from Vishous.-  Boo you have to move!   -The cats screech filled the room and still helped me none in trying to find everything.  That game plan we had when this all came to an end was left out the damn window and nothing was where I left it last.-  Where is everything, Elizabeth!  -I sensed no pain from her yet, that had to be a good sign, but taking my time to get things in order wasn’t a luxury I had.-  George! my fucking pants, where are my fucking pants, I need pants.  -Fucking cake, why did she have to have that slice of cake.  Of course the cake had nothing to do with it, I knew that but still, something had to be blamed for our young making its grand entrance and I wasn’t it.  I knew I knocked over more than what would have ever been necessary, blind or not I was a mess and everything she drilled into my head on what she’s going to want or need went straight out of my mind.  Holding tightly to George’s lead with the opposite hand holding everything she wanted, or I hoped, it wasn’t until I reached the first step I realized my mistake.-  Leelan…  -Dropping the loot and doubling back to my laughing Shellan.-  There’s nothing funny, Beth..  -Carefully hefting her into my arms and tracing my steps back to the staircase grateful for Fritz who assured me all of the necessary items he will take to the PT Suite.  Fuck there was no going back now, not even an inch.  Giving her forehead a soft kiss before entering the hidden stairwell.-  I hope you’re ready for this, Leelan mine.    #AwaitingARoyal   ---To Be Continued---

[rhage-hollywood]

A walk to remember

BETH: Next time you’re carrying the baby, it’s decided.  -Beth huffed in a breath feeling like she was carrying 16 bowling balls strapped to her belly. The air was crisp, she loved the beginning of winter, she only wished it would snow early. But the way her equilibrium was at the moment she should be grateful the ground wasn’t icy, or she’d be ass over feet. The royals were taking a walk around the grounds of the compound. It was something they’d taken to doing the last few weeks, Beth suspected it was Wrath’s idea to stop his wife complaining too much when he insisted she stay in bed. She was onto his tricky ways. Grinning, she gave his fingers a little squeeze as George bound off up ahead chasing imaginary squirrels and rabbits- Maan…how far have we walked now, 22 miles at least! -in reality, it could have only been a mile at most, they’d only been out the house 30 minutes, but the exercise was good, Jane said for her take gentle walks… Beth had found that funny, like she was going to go mountain climbing and hiking and iron man marathons. She nudged Wrath’s hip with hers when she realized he hadn’t said a word for a while- Hey, you are quiet.  Want to get back to work?

  WRATH: -My mind had been going through everything we would be facing very soon. Nothing could be taken lightly. Especially the knowledge my shellan would soon birth our young. Jane helped none with easing my worries. In fact I'm sure she gave me every serious scenario she could think of because nothing ended with butterflies and rainbows like I could only hope for. Preparing me for the weeks to come too fucking soon so I could stay in the room with Beth instead of being asked to leave because I couldn't allow Jane to concentrate. She was doing her job I know but it made a males worry skyrocket.- No, Leelan. I'm staying with you tonight.  I asked Fritz to keep everything today and if he couldn't handle it I would take care of it soon enough.  -Scribe love that old doggen, he was a true godsend and loved by everyone especially my Shellan.- are you tiring on me, Leelan? We can head back and make you comfortable. -wouldn't that help my anxiety lesson but I knew the answer she would have for me before she even spoke it.-

  BETH: No, slowpoke, let’s keep going -with her hand tucked nicely into the warmth of Wrath’s and their furry lunatic boy racing around there was no other place Beth wanted to be.- What… my husband all to myself, no work interrupting? be still my chocolate stuffed heart -she grinned and took a big sniff of the night air. It stung her nose- I think it smells like snow. It smells like snow, right? -It absolutely wasn’t going to snow yet, but the queen had hope for it. The pair sat finally on a bench not far from the main house. Beth could see lights in almost every window and inside the gatehouse windows. Man, it looked so nice from here. She cuddled into his arm, letting his silence wrap around her. They’d already done three dry runs of what would happen when she went into labor, any more prepared and Beth figured her man could easily become a midwife for Caldwell and the neighboring towns. He was worried, she knew that. Reaching up, she palmed over his face like a spiders web and chuckled- stop all that thinking, it’s hurting my ears. If you must do something, you can give me a little kiss…

  WRATH: Of course all to yourself, Leelan, I wouldn’t want anyone barging into what they may catch you doing.  -Lips curled to a grin as I sat quietly with her at my side refusing to sit in my lap protesting she was too heavy constantly.-  Just a little kiss, Leelan?  When have you ever wanted anything small?  -Cocks a brow as my slight grin widens before finding her nose and kissing just the tip.-  Why would you possibly want snow at this time of the year Leelan, it’s too cold for that yet, but you don’t need the cold to get closer to me, Leelan.  -Pulls her onto lap, wrapping my arms around her frame nuzzling her throat.  The last thing I needed was the snow.  It would be of course that one trip to Caldwell Beth begged to do so we weren’t stuck at home when the snow would fall and cover the roads like a blanket and she suddenly go into labor.-  

  BETH: You dislike the snow, you loathe the sunshine, my god, Wrath, you’re a veritable weather hater -Chuckling, the queen did concede that Thanksgiving week was too early for snow. She’d back bench that wish for December. His lips were cold when she brushed them with hers and using that as an excuse to warm him she left them pressed together- you know… -she sighed wistfully- I think iAm is avoiding me. You think that 5 hour shopping trip to Pottery Barn was too much for him? -before Wrath could weigh into the convo she went on with a huff- He said he was fine carrying all the bags, and he seemed fine when I was trying to choose a changing table. It was a hard decision, he said he understood that. -Being pandered to by all those herculean men Beth suspected the power trip had gone clean to her head. She had foot massages from Lassiter, iAm went with her for all her shopping needs and she had Rhage moving all the furniture around the nursery until it was just right. Because Beth was extremely generous, she grinned against Wrath’s cheek and went on- I’ll leave it to you, beloved, to let him know I have one more thing I want to pick up tomorrow.. -While they talked, George bound up for a quick head scratch and took off again for his night time adventures-

  WRATH: -Whatever was doing with iAm was out of my control. Frankly, if the male had no issue keeping my Shellan safe and kept from any danger, Bastards included, I didn't really care.  Mary is the counselor of our dysfunctional family. Of course Beth took to the troubled male. If she had her way she would interrogate him until all his life's secrets were laid out at her feet for her viewing pleasure, the exact way she liked it to be.-  Just one more?  I'm finding it difficult to find my way around that room you've had Rhage change more than once already....  -Moot point. She'd now have Rhage change it simply so I can better navigate and I've probably added a minimum of five more things to her list and I once again need a tight hold on George anytime I entered.  Lips pulling to a grin under hers.- I was warned by Bella little girls needed a lot of things, how certain are you it’s a boy you carry -chuckles wrapping her tighter to my chest- according to her that means you're having a daughter, Leelan mine.  Boys don't need as many things as you're buying.

  BETH: -Jabbing a sharp elbow into his ribs Beth laughed. They’d gone around and around with this argument for months. Beth let him have it this time, they’d know soon enough who was right- We need all the things, stop with that crazy talk, Wrath, I barely bought anything…. -to make sure he did she pressed a kiss on his mouth then groaned, as much as she’d like to sit and make out with her man for an hour, her ass was numb and her face close to freezing off. She waddled to her feet again- Come on, slow King, let’s make tracks home -she pulled his arm over her shoulder, burrowed tight into his side, it was times like this that she loved having a man that rivaled the size of a mountain- George! Come on, baby. Dinner! -Yelling his favorite word it wasn’t long before she saw his sandy fur racing across the grass to them both- he has your appetites, beloved. -Right as she laughed Beth felt a tug in her belly and she gasped stopping in her tracks for a second. Nothing like when junior did his jumping jacks and somersaults, this sharp ache had halted Beth’s breath. When there was no repeat she set off walking again already in her head rearranging the babies room. She’d have to text Rhage...if he wasn’t avoiding her-

  WRATH:  -She was cold, I knew, I felt her shiver more than once and attempted my best to keep her as warm as possible instead of rushing her back inside the warmth of our home.  Scribe knows if I did that or even attempted such a move she would resist and say I was making her sit on her rear far too much.  I wasn’t complaining about her need to rest, it was good for her, and in fact much needed according to Jane, the Doctor knew what she was talking about, and Beth needed to heed her advice much more instead of rebelling and running through the mansion.  The second she said time to go I couldn’t start the trek back home fast enough, at least until she stopped and there was no reason for stopping…  her sharp intake of breath said it all…-  Leelan…. -Keeping the slow stroll alongside of her when she started anew despite the spell that caused her to stop.-  At least tell me what caused you to stop.. -I knew there was nothing that could bring harm to either of us inside the walls of the compound, we would have been warned the second there was a breach, and George was hot on our heels.-  

  BETH: Don’t overreact… but it was a teeny tiny little pain. It was nothing. Probably the chili I devoured earlier, you know Fritz makes it extra hot for me -A firm hold around his waist Beth kept them both walking steadily. It usually took Wrath 2.4 seconds to lose his cool if he thought something was wrong with Beth, the last thing she wanted was for him to order her to bed. She had other plans for later, and having a yelling match with her husband hadn’t been scheduled in. She’d had enough of bed, bed sucked unless Wrath was in it with her. Right on the heels of that thought her belly clenched again, a deeper pain than before. Shit, that hurt like a motherfucker... Rubbing her abdomen in slow circles, the house grew larger the closer they got, George got into line with Wrath’s footsteps as if knowing his master would need his assistance soon enough-. Woah...junior is hating that chili -the ache intensified and for a long second Beth had the thought… was this it… Labor……-

  WRATH: -Chili!  She had to be fucking kidding me.  She couldn’t think she could pull this shit with me, certainly not.-  George take us home.  -Not caring if she protested or not, I pulled her up into my arms.-  You need to go straight to bed, Leelan.  I’ll stay with you, but you’re not walking up the stairs, or moving more than necessary.  And I know you don’t want me to take you to Jane, where you probably should be…  -Maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea to at least give her a call to be certain.  She told me something of this, I think, fuck, I really needed to be able to listen to the notes she left me.  Barging past Fritz as he held the door to the mansion open, ignoring his questioning stare on my back not even pausing when the questions started from the Brothers and Shadows.-  Your Queen needs rest, leave us be, please, she’s stubborn and full of chili and needs to be left alone, that’s an order from your King.  -Shushing any protest she was going to lash out with a kiss to her lips as I bound the stairs hot on George’s trail until I willed the door open and settled her into our soft bed.-  You’re not moving from here until I don’t have to worry about you hurting yourself, Leelan.  Or I can call Jane…  -Giving her a soft grin before settling in our bed next to her, she wasn’t in pain now, her breathing was normal.  Maybe it was nothing, a male could only hope that were so, especially with the date of our youngs birth so close.-  

  BETH: God! why you gotta threaten me with Jane all the time, Wrath? -they were half way up the stairs with about ten pairs of eyes watching their ascent. She caught iAm's subtle grin and a wider more dazzling one from Lassiter who gave her the two thumbs up to which she stuck her tongue out at the angel- We might as well just move poor Jane into our room with us the amount of time you have her marched up to our floor and you know I really don't think V would like that! -As much as she protested she liked when he went all Tazan carrying her everywhere, more so when she felt as big as the gatehouse and garage combined. The little niggling pains continued but what Beth knew of labor it was nothing until there was niagra falls from her waters breaking. She sat like a meek little lamb while Wrath muttered and scowled and put her on the side of the bed and began pulling off her boots and jeans and dressed her in her pink pjs like she was four years old. The queen did some scowling of her own and as if he could see what she was doing she got herself a silent kiss from her man right before he tucked her against the headboard around a pile of pillows. She had to admit her aching body loved laying down, all that trekking, at least 60 miles had worn her out- There, happy now you have me trapped like a hostage in this pillow fortress? oh fuckkk ow.... -another pain circulated around her abdomen and doubled Beth over on the bed. Her blue eyes turned a little wild seeking him out- Maybe we should give Jane a call to come up.... -she sobered clearing her throat right as the pains dissipated- you know... just to soothe your worries, baby.. -she grinned... who was pandering who now..-

  WRATH: -The pillows would do, so would her favorite pajamas that I knew only by touch instead of how they looked on her.  Even being settled next to her on her mountain high setting of pillows I was worried little until she belted her pain.  No longer worried, I was fucking terrified.  Even more so when she admitted V’s shellan may be needed.  The Doc in question was dialed immediately and told to come to our chambers before I hung up.  I turned back to my Shellan.  Fucking hell.  Tugging her hand into mine counting the seconds before Jane arrived.  I knew I shouldn’t have taken her for that walk, I knew it wouldn’t end well, when did anything ever end well when my Shellan was involved, a trip to Caldwell even ended up in kidnapping once before.  Rubbing a hand over my face to wipe the grim expression I knew I was sporting-  She will be here soon, Leelan.  -There was nothing I could do to soothe her, not any of the audiobooks or instructions the doc left with me told me how to handle this……… -  #AWalkToRemember --- To Be Continued ----

[rhage-hollywood]

Daddy Q Journal Take1

QHUINN: -Qhuinn sat ready on the edge of his bed, feeling all kinds the sentimental idiot. He threw a look at the door and swore the first person that cracked it open or even jiggled the knob he was going to shoot them in the kneecap.- Damned contraption better work this time. -He grunted, shifting forward on the bed. Those fated words no more left his lips when the piece of shit did it again. Cursing he watched, completely not amused as one of the contraptions God damn legs collapsed and in matrix speed decided to get introduced to the floor for the third fucking time tonight. The third time was supposed to be charmed or some shit right? Scowling, his dual colored gaze followed the recording device on top as it planted itself in the far corner of the room. Qhuinn was sure if it could show emotion it'd be a troll laughing at his incompetency.- There's got to be an easier way.- Snagging his beer off the side table, he kicked the tripod for good measure as he tipped the bottle to his lips. He was sure the whole damn house heard him stomp across the room and had no doubt Layla or Blay would come to investigate sooner rather than later. So he bent, retrieved the equipment and marched to the bathroom, slammed the door and clicked the lock. Five minutes later recorder in hand, beer drained, he sat his leather clad ass on the toilet and took a deep breath as he held up the device, flipped it around to face him at arms length and with a nervous finger pressed record and spoke.-

I don't normally do this kinda thing.- He shrugged his shoulder and grinned. - But there's a few things I wanted you to know. So here I sit in the bathroom...- He made a quick pan of the room.- ...don't ask why...to pass on some words of wisdom. They're highly valuable. -Qhuinn winked and continued.- First, never try to out eat Rhage. It'll only end with an empty pantry and gut pains that 100 Tums won't cure. Second, ignore and don't investigate any thumping or banging of any walls or floors you might hear in the house. Its just the family of jack rabbits that Fritz adopted...and third, just always remember the second one.-

Qhuinn fell silent a moment, eyes drifted out of focus as he grabbed a hold of whatever it was he needed inside of himself and continued.- You should know blood doesn't always equal family. I struggled with that for a long time, so much I couldn't...wouldn't see the family within these walls that surrounded me. They loved me regardless of what others saw as flaws. You will never know that struggle, I swear that on my life. You will always be loved and wanted.- The fist size lump in his throat seemed to expand. - ...and fuck..shit, I mean Christ...don't tell your mahmen I said fuck or shit to you! She may be tiny but her fangs are a foot long when she's pissed. Anyway...- He scrubbed a hand over his face.- There's going to be those who never agree with mine and your mahmens choices but we did what we knew was best for us and in turn you're growing bigger everyday in her belly. We may not have what some of our race see as a conventional family, me, you, your mahmen and Blay but what we have is ours. Finally life makes sense and everything I could possibly want is within my grasp.

It'll be years before you watch and understand all this, hopefully you'll have tons more videos to watch too. However this damn recording device and your father have a love-hate relationship so the future on that is still to be determined.-Qhuinn trailed off, his pulse kicked up a notch. He knew he was rambling but fuck if it wasn't kinda into this, talking to his unborn young he felt closer than ever. Just then he heard the bedroom door open and close, the heavy steps of Blay crossing the floor, he jerked nearly dropping the recorder when a knock came. - I'll be out in a minute, Blay. Don't try to open the fucking door, I'm busy! -All he heard was a chuckle and a grunt and footsteps retreating. Qhuinn returned to the still recording video and told his future young...- That was Blay. He was my best friend for as long as I can remember and years later and many many acts of stupid sh...crap on my part, that guy is my mate. Never let anyone tell you who you can love...but know you aren't dating until you are 30. -He smiled and took a slow inhale and exhaled. - I'm Qhuinn...also known as your papa. And I love you.

-The red blinking light shut off and he lowered the camera, laying it on the counter by the sink. Qhuinn was glad he'd finally done it, he thought about and debated on it for weeks now. Life was short and shit happened. Good and bad but when it happened there was no going back and doing the "should've dones" or "wish I hads". After nearly losing Saxton, thank fuck his cousin had come out of the coma and the truth of that God awful night in the alley had come out, everyone had moved forward. Including Qhuinn and Blay. Everyday he was thankful and more determined than ever to live a happy, full on warrior fighting, race protecting, hardcore loving life. #DaddyQJournalTake1

[rhage-hollywood]

Forgiven Memories

RHAGE: [Black blood dripped from his fangs, jaws unhinging as he roared his displeasure that his feast was almost to an end. He was out, and in complete control and letting the freedom he felt bring him the pleasure he felt so rarely. Sinister laughter left the belly of his swollen gut urging him to find more supplement before he allowed the flesh of man to cover him anew.

The fresh scent of baby powder tingled the back of his throat but the scent was quickly retreating. Rising on his hind legs he swept blinding white eyes over the clearing until he found his dinner, his tongue forked through the row of fangs to clean the evidence of his last meal just so he could coat them with fresh blood. Scales shook down his spine, vibrating like a rattlesnake about to strike announcing his last warning. The Beast enjoyed the hunt as much as the meal, almost more, scaled lips pulled to what could only be described as a smile full of evil intent that even Hades himself would be terrified of, he planned to wrought pain and much more. Hind legs pounded and drove him closer with each long stride to his meal as the lesser linked out in full speed retreating like his life depended upon it, but it did. Didn’t it? A scream erupted through the night echoing in the clearing just as his fangs sank into the chest and back of the runaway, lesser blood the color of tar gushed from his jaws until he ripped the head free and swallowed it without even an afterthought. Dinner tonight… fucking amazing.

Limbs ripped from the torso like nothing more than twigs from a deteriorating tree. Inch by inch the beast devoured the meal, maybe it would be his last of the night, he had wrought a lot of chaos as he burst free from the flesh that kept him trapped to only a mark on the back of a warrior. He looked back at the burning village without any remorse. In fact he was pleased with the destruction; if he were not stronger each of those villagers would have killed him. He cared nothing of the weeping females his talons dug into as he ripped them from their safe havens or the children he ripped from their mothers. Nay, he left the town with only a few males and a handful of women and children, if they survived his wrath that is. He kept himself from feasting upon them, choosing only the taste of the Lessers that would seek out and kill the one he was trapped within. It was necessary to keep him alive if he wanted to continue to survive, even if it wasn’t a pleasurable situation being stuck as a mark on a males back. With a snap of jaws he finished what was left of his meal before he retreated to a safe place for his keeper to stay while the sun showed its face….

Smoke, fire, screaming and wails of children filled my head. Fuck, I couldn’t handle it. I was lucky to find something to cover myself when I finally made myself rise and return to my home. The pain stuck too long after my curse was gone, and the swell of my gut made it all the worse. Bare feet pushed against the ground reluctantly, but it had to be done, I couldn’t stay in a hollow cave for an entire night, I needed to return to the comforts of the home I made to ride this shit out. Thankfully the walking stick, or tree branch it once was, helped me shuffle closer to the wailing coming from the smoke miles ahead. What happened to the homes and why was there no one running around to put out the flames? There was nothing I could do from this distance, if anything I’d get in the way of people who were hopefully on the way to salvage anything that was left behind in whatever travesty caused this wreckage. The cause, II wasn't sure and the pain that filled my body with each step as I forced myself closer to the ruins ahead I could only allow my imagination to run wild..

Time was lost to me. I wasn’t sure the exact amount that had passed, only that it were no longer night and I was confined to the shelter of a cave I had found not days after the curse was bestowed upon me and what once use to be the village I’d called home was brought to ruins. I did that, I allowed that shit to happen when my curse tore free. Now I needed a place to escape to that would keep me from harming anyone I cared for. Though Vishous kept wanting to talk about the triggers and what would be the exact cause and how suppress it, I already knew. The second I was out of control with my thoughts, or just too pissed he’d come alive, breaking my body bone by bone and shred my skin until I no longer existed or saw anything. Not until he was done or I fought him hard to be myself once more I was lost inside him. The pain when I would win over his will almost made me want to never become myself once he was in the driver seat, but that wasn’t an option. I swore to protect my race and my brothers. I wouldn’t let them down. If I lost the will to be me, then I failed myself. Pushing my hand through my hair untangling the mass. The barmaids helped release the tension that rode me like a second skin, it was becoming a nightly ritual to find a willing female to escape the power the curse held over me. I was only starting to relearn where my temper would reach a deadly peak and begin the calming exercises Vishous tried to teach me, but they had the reverse effect, only pissing me off all the more. Release of any kind helped me remain in control, sex no longer the joy I once found it to be, instead it was a necessity to keep the ones closest to me safe. And now after my curse had broken free and left me where I lay to recuperate at least I was feeling half myself and would be able to leave to find civilization again.

The summer night was burning even after the fall of the sun I could still feel the heat of its rays in the night air. Tohr requested to meet behind the local saloon, I only hoped I had enough time to fuck one of the more than willing barmaids before he showed. The scent of stale beer and old sex leaked out of the tavern was no longer a welcome mat as it was only weeks ago. Tohr’s voice echoed through the night. My Curse was in charge in a bad kind of way, causing me to be jumpy when a barmaid passed me with a suggestive touch to my back. I would have enjoyed the shit out of that weeks past, but now… Fuck, he stirred against my back his scales digging at the underside of my skin looking for an opening. A long night this was going to be. Downing the brew in haste before following her up the stairs to her room.

Half a year had passed since the barn owl was brought back to life and the Scribe Virgin left me with my curse. It took little explanation when I found my Brothers and told them the majority of what happened. Even if I didn’t pull the trigger I enabled the situation, there was no need for exact details, I already had the worst wrap sheet when it came to my responsibilities. Aggression was running through my veins and Vishous so kindly suggested I needed to relieve myself before he or any of the other brothers would have to tuck tail and haul ass away, it only took them once to witness the wrath of the curse when he broke free. Even if he didn’t I would have known from the way the tension kept rolling down my spine from the Beast and I would lose my sight for a handful of seconds. Punching my fist into the wood panel of our current rendezvous’ as I stalked from the building, it was becoming a curse that I was counting down to the seconds how much time remained before I was free from him and dreading every fucking minute of my life.]

[I was unsure what threw my mind into the past... Could it have been the mother and child sitting only two booths from Mary and I? The youngest of the children was yelling and screaming as though he was being murdered as the other clawed his way up his mothers lap, causing my mind remember the screams that haunted me when I thought of what use to be my home. Mary's soft grey eyes drifting back to me after ending her call with SafePlace bringing me back from the past that very seldom shown itself. The Beast must have known where my mind had gone for such a short period of time, his dark laughter ringing in my head.] #ForgivenMemories

[rhage-hollywood]

Finally Returned

AUTUMN: [I was in the nursery watching Zahk trying to teach Nalla to stack blocks as opposed to just knocking them over before falling into a fit of giggles. I couldn’t help but smile at the frustrated look on his face as he gathered up the blocks to try again, he was so completely tolerant and patient with the strong-willed little girl you just knew he would grow to be a male of worth. Once he had them all gathered in front of him he began again, explaining the importance of the foundation before building the structure up. It made me wonder if he had been spending time with Cormia. Nalla clapped as the structure grew higher and I saw as she prepared herself to knock it over; balanced on her knees, arms raised high. But just as she was prepared to be her own tiny Godzilla her attention was averted as something even more exciting entered the room. Lassiter. Both of the young jumped up and ran over to him, literally attempting to climb into his arms. I rose from my position on the floor and walked toward the glowing jungle gym, arms now full of chattering, wiggling young.] How about we head down to the kitchen for a little snack. [Delighted squeals and clapping erupted from the young as we headed down the hall of statues, down one of the back staircases that ended in the kitchen, out of the way of staff. Settling the young at the table, Lassiter headed off to get them some milk and cookies before taking a seat opposite me and giving me a look that I wasn’t sure how to interpret. Keeping his voice low he finally broke the silence.] “I’ve done everything I can, Autumn, and I’m at a loss. The only option we have left is the Fade Ceremony, and with Tohrment avoiding me at every turn I’m not exactly sure what to do at this point.” [I knew the angel had tried his best to make Tohrment listen to reason. But time was running out. I hadn’t told anyone but I could feel the tether that was keeping me here fading. I wasn’t sure what it meant but I knew it wasn’t anything good. If we didn't find a way to make Tohrment see reason soon, I was going to disappear forever. Offering the angel a smile, I tucked a lock of hair behind my ear and tapped a finger to the table.] I refuse to let it end this way, Lassiter. So, as the expression goes, if Mohammed won’t go to the mountain then we’ll bring the mountain to Mohammed. [I couldn’t stop the small bubble of laughter that escaped me at the look on the Angels face. Leaving the young with one of the doggen I had the Angel follow me down to Tohrments office. My male was still in bed having been on rotation last night, which was why I had been in the nursery with the young. Instructing the Angel to take a seat I explained my idea.]

If Tohrment won’t listen to you then maybe he’ll listen to a message from the beyond. I want you to type a letter on his computer, where he’ll be sure to find it. This letter will not only explain the importance of completing the Fade Ceremony, but it will also contain things that only he and I had ever spoken of. Which means, you will forget them as soon as you type them. [Giving the angel the sternest look I could muster I waited until he nodded in agreement before dictating the letter to him. An hour later I reread the letter over his shoulder before nodding my head and standing up.] Now we just need to pray that that stubborn male of mine reads it and finally accepts the importance of the situation.

          ----------------------------------------------------------------

He had read it and indeed, the importance of the situation finally hit home. I had sat in the office and waited until he had come down to start his day. I watched as he read the letter. I watched as a gamut of emotions filtered across his face. And I watched as realization finally settled there. He had brushed his hands over his short cropped hair, over and over. And now the day was finally here. I sat in the chair in the corner and watched as my male prepared to say goodbye to his shellan and young... alone. I wanted to weep as I watched him pull on the white dress pants and shirt before sitting on the bed and dropping his head into his hands. Standing, I walked over and knelt before him wishing now more than ever that I could touch him. Comfort him in his time of grief. We both glanced at the door as there was a soft knock upon it. A moment later Lassiter walked in, a glowing smile on his face that didn't reach his eyes. He sobered quickly as his eyes found us. Those glowing eyes flicked quickly between us before they settled on Tohrment.] "You ready to do this, flyboy"

[At Tohrment's subtle nod the angel glanced down and me and waited for the same. I got to my feet slowly and stood next to my male. The three of us made our way down the hall of statues and to the top of the grand staircase where we found the entire household waiting. A hush fell over them all as the looked up as one, eyes filled with sorrow and empathy. I watched as Tohrment squared his shoulders and walked down the stairs with his head held high. I stood on the bottom step as he made his way toward the altar that had been draped with white cloth. I held my breath as he knelt down and Wrath approached to start the ceremony. My fingers curled into fists as Wellsies name was blackened out, yet my heart swelled with love as I watched my male endure it all without a sound. As the ceremony came to an end I watched proudly as my male stood and faced his brothers and that was when I felt it. That tenuous thread that was keeping me here had snapped and everything faded to black.]

                    ------------------------------------------------------

[Upon opening my eyes all I saw was white. For a moment I thought I had somehow materialized on the Other Side. But as I took a moment to look around I didn’t see any of the trees or temples that I had lived among for years.] Hello. [I wasn’t sure who or what I was hoping to see, but my voice didn't carry as if I were in an empty, cavernous space. I started walking, hoping to find something that would tell me where I was, but all I saw was white. After what felt like forever I finally heard a voice calling my name. I stopped walking and looked around, yet still saw nothing.] Hello. Who’s there? Where am I?

[Panic was slowly starting to set in. I had hope that the completion of the Fade Ceremony would fix all my problems, yet all we had accomplished was a new round of ‘What the heck?’.] “You have a choice to make, Autumn, formerly known as Rosalhynda. Do you wish to return to the Warrior Tohrment, or do you desire to finally enter your final resting place as you had wished to do all those many years ago. Choose wisely, for once the answer leaves your lips the request cannot be rescinded.” [The choice was easy, but I still wondered where I was and what was really going on.] I wish to return to Tohrment. But where am I? What is happening? [It would appear I would be getting no answers today as I felt a force pulling me away from where I was, back into blackness. There wasn’t even time to scream before I found myself standing in front of the Mansion. I wasn’t sure how much time had passed since I had been… wherever I had been. But at the moment all I cared about was Tohrment. Walking through the door into the vestibule I waited to be granted access inside. As the front door opened I stepped inside… I was home] #FinallyReturned

[rhage-hollywood]

Stuck

AUTUMN: [Facing the wall in front of me, I sighed, turned around and started my long walk back down the hallway that ran the length of the training center. Tohrment was in his office going over… paperwork, training schedules, rotations… I had stopped keeping track of what he was doing in his office. Other than avoiding Lassiter. Once the angel had agreed to help me my hopes had soared that I might finally be reunited with my male. But no. One week in and that stubborn male of mine had started avoiding the angel like he had the plague. Males!

Stopping in front of the door to the office I looked in and watched as Tohrment flipped through some papers, mumbling to himself. It was obvious, to me at least, that he was avoiding the reality of the situation. I had been there, standing right next to him, as Lassiter had tried to explain what he felt needed to happen in order for everyone to find some peace in their lives. As soon as he had mentioned the words “Fade Ceremony” Tohrment had nearly punch the angel. Luckily, the move had been anticipated and was avoided. But then all my male had done was turn and walk away. And avoided Lassiter ever since. Shaking my head I went back to pacing the halls. If Tohrment wasn’t willing to at least try what Lassiter had suggested, what was the point? I knew he still blamed himself for her death. I knew he still loved her and their unborn young. How could he not? But if he wasn’t willing to let them go… really let them go… what did that mean for us? If I hadn’t fallen into this current state of nothingness, would we have ever really had a chance if he continued to hold onto them?

After their last confrontation Lassiter had come to me and suggested I try dematerializing to the Other Side to see if the Scribe Virgin had any suggestions. That had been one big failure. Thanks to whatever teether there was tying me to Tohrment, it was strong enough to keep me from leaving this side. Finally having enough of all the thoughts in my head, I lifted my chin and all but screamed at the ceiling.] Why? He already blames himself for my first death. All because I used his knife, he blames himself. And now this! He can not continue to blame himself for the death of every female he has ever loved!! I swear on all that is holier than you, if anything bad should happen to him because of this… [I waved my hands around wildly] all these fucking twisted games… I will find a way to make you pay. [I wasn’t sure who I was threatening. The Scribe Virgin. Lassiters God. All the angels in the supposed heavens. But I didn’t care. I wanted all of this to end. Preferably with me back in the arms of my male.]

“I do not believe the ceiling had anything to do with your current predicament, sweetheart.” [Jumping at the voice behind me, I sent a glare to the angel over my shoulder.] And I do not believe I asked for your opinion, Lassiter. [Back down the hallway I went. In my current state I felt no pain in my leg, so I could pace this hallway forever and never tire. Glancing to my right I saw that the angel was indeed keeping pace with me.] Unless you have discovered an answer to my problem I can find no reason for you to be here. [The angel was completely unphased by my temper. All he did was throw an arm over my shoulders and continue to walk with me.] “I still have no definite answer for you. But I am convinced that completing the Fade Ceremony will, if not fix the problem completely, at least send us in the direction of what else needs to be done.” [I didn’t want to let hope rise in me that it could be that simple. That we had wasted all these months when all that needed to happen was a simple Fade Ceremony. Because the truth was, it wasn’t simple at all. Completing that ceremony would be Tohrments final goodbye. And until he was ready to for that to happen I was going to be stuck in this state of in-between… indefinitely.]  #Stuck