The Tooth that Knewth the Pearly Truth
Credits and Lyrics for Brushtime Bootleg 1: The Tooth that Knewth the Pearly Truth
Brushee - Matt roi Berger
Teeth - Melissa Lusk
written by Jonathan A. Goldberg
music by Matt roi Berger
The Tooth that Knewth the Pearly Truth
Once there was a tooth that was never brushed
In a mouth that stank of sin
So he wriggled from his gum
Leapt the tongue and took a plunge -
To craft a path of dental cleanliness
His rotting neighbors cried,
He ain’t too bright!
Little tooth, your vice is pride!
But to their dismay,
He said, “keep your decay!
Mine is a higher bite!”
So our pure and shining tooth made his way to the docks,
And met a crab who was looking to serve.
He heard the tooth’s good news
Of a bright and Pearly Truth
And together they set sail on the surf.
Can a tooth bust loose and find his way?
If his roots are rotten, they will lead him astray!
But if he’s clean and pure and full of root
His path will bite a way to the Pearly Truth!
Yeah his path will bite a way to the Pearly, Pearly Truth!
So the tooth and the crab sailed the seven seas
Floss-O-Phising on the Pearly Truth
Convinced many to try it
But then were set on by a pirate
Who stole away the tooth and his crew!
The pirate was a beast that stank of grease (ED. Greece?)
And was jealous of this zealous biter
He said
Recant your ideals,
Or your friend becomes a meal!
And he dangled the crab above a fire.
But the tooth held strong - his faith, it would not wane!
And then the crab stabbed the pirate again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again!
So always brush your teeth and remember this tale
Should you question where your roots should lead
The rotten will be splintered and stabbed in their innards
The blessed will ascend and receive...
The Pearly Truth - Praise be to Teeth!