you look a little lonely, @brxkenanima
festivities were grand & all --- haruka had come to appreciate them, even if he was wary of the snakes & how genuine they may have been about the whole ordeal. but it was at least better to live in the moment & enjoy things, right? stressing about the future had never done him any good --- time was always nipping at his heels, always chasing him with an overbearing, foreboding shadow that would swallow his thoughts whole & leave him in a state of dismay. so it had only taking some mental coaxing to tell himself to relax, to allow this to happen --- to keep an eye out, sure, but to allow himself some time of peace & relaxation in this topsy-turvy world. if he hadn’t given himself that much, he was certain he would break again.
thankfully, the presence of friends & those dear to him had made it much easier. in this sort of air, full of cheer & whimsy, he could have relaxed with more success: his posture had soothed considerably, shoulders far from tense & nearly sagging as he grinned down at the feast. being deprived of his sense of taste hadn’t been the worst fate he could have been dealt, but as someone who had loved food far too much -- to the point where he had wished he could eat without getting full, & frequently gorged himself when he was still alive despite his doctor’s warnings -- this was a treat in itself. of all things, he could feel himself salivate as his eyes glanced over the bountiful dishes, only pausing when he had caught someone in his peripherals.
ian was no stranger to him --- haruka had felt that it had been safe to call him something of a friend. after all, ian had been nothing but kind to him thus far: they had shared conversations far & few in between, but ones that he had categorized as pleasant. he enjoyed having him around, & his attitude was the sort that haruka found himself free of awkwardness with: if someone were to ask haruka of his judgement on him, he would happily say that ian was nothing short of a good guy.
...so why had he been so sad?
furrowing his brows, he takes his plate full of barbecued meat & moves over to his side, feeling his lips pull into a smile. it wasn’t false -- not exactly, no, but he had definitely forced it to some degree to keep his mood cheery & make himself more approachable. talking to someone had seemed down with a grim expression wouldn’t get anywhere, would it?
❝ are you enjoying the food, ian-kun? ❞
( ... that was a good way to edge himself in, right? )
