What Ifs Part 5 || Jeff Skinner
Authors Note: First dates, first times, and some fluff. Have some Christmas in July...it only took me two years to finish this part. Set Dec. 19-20, 2020.
Warnings: smut, condomless (but on birth control) sex, oral sex, mild alcohol consumption,
Word Count: 5,293
~~~~~~~~~~~
The drive from Jack’s back to Jeff’s had been quiet though filled with swirling emotions. Upon arriving, Jeff helped you out of your winter coat before taking his own off, hanging them both in his entry. With shoes also discarded onto a mat, Jeff caught your fingers with his, pulling you back to him.
His searching eyes must have found what he wanted because after a moment he dipped his head, kissing you once again. It was just as deep as the one on Jack’s porch had been yet some of the frenetic energy had passed causing the kiss to take on a more lazy, exploratory nature.
“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted this.” Jeff murmured between kisses. He was certainly right about that because until half an hour ago he’d given you no other sign that this was something he’d wanted.
Sensing your hesitation, Jeff pulled back, his eyes full of concern.
“I’m gonna need you to talk to me…” Letting go of your hand he swallowed hard. “If this isn’t something you want, that’s okay. I just…I thought we were on the same page.”
Tears pricked your eyes, causing you to wipe at them frantically.
“Of course it’s something I want.” You snapped softly. “But how was I supposed to know that you wanted it?”
Jeff started to open his mouth but you shook your head causing him to pause.
“You kissed me in Pittsburgh and then never brought it up again. I assumed it was a mistake.” You started ranting. “And sure you said you’d like to fuck me but I’ve known more than my fair share of men who sure would love to enjoy my body so long as it doesn’t come with any of the baggage of a relationship.”
Pausing to swallow the lumps in your throat you sighed.
“And I’ve gotten nothing but mixed messages since arriving here. You tease but how am I supposed to know what you mean by it unless you tell me?”
Waiting a breath to see if you were finished, Jeff stepped back toward you before pulling you against his chest, hugging you tightly.
“I’m sorry.” He murmured against your ear. “I didn’t want to make things awkward with the kiss but I should have made sure you knew it wasn’t a mistake. And yes I want to be with you intimately but not to use you. And I don’t care if that’s something you aren’t ready for, I still want you. You’re my best friend and I want you to be mine because I’ve never felt like this before. We can take things as slow as you want to.”
Squeezing his side, you nodded and stepped back, moving over to where your coat was hanging. Reaching into the pocket of your jacket, you pulled out the box Jeff had given you earlier and opened it. Carefully pulling the chain from the soft padding you tossed the box aside and returned to Jeff holding the necklace.
“Put it on for me?” You requested, a bit shy.
Tingles raced through your body as Jeff took it, spinning you around before carefully latching it behind your neck, his fingers lingering against your skin.
“Does this mean you want to give this a chance?” He asked.
“It means you should kiss me and we’ll go from there.”
Twisting you to face him, Jeff did just that, placing kiss after kiss on your lips filled with everything he was feeling. When your knees started to go weak, Jeff’s arms slid behind your thighs, carrying you over to the couch where he sat, pulling you onto his lap before resuming the kisses.
Though Jeff never pushed for more than kissing with his hands resting on your hips or at the small of your back, you could feel his body responding under you as your own arousal pooled low in your stomach.
Unconsciously, your hips pressed down against his and the groan that spilled from his throat only spiked your need further.
“Baby…you gotta stop.” Jeff mumbled against your lips. “Y/N.” He repeated before lifting you off of him. “Not tonight. Not gonna take advantage of you like that.” Seeing your pout, he groaned but remained firm.
“Go take a shower baby and then we’ll get some sleep.”
Though your body wanted more, you knew he was right that you shouldn’t take anything any further tonight.
Climbing off the couch, you moved to go get some pjs and everything you needed for your shower before slipping into the guest bathroom to get ready for bed. By the time you finished, pausing to look at the new silver chain adorning your neck, Jeff was already waiting in bed.
This time there was no confusion about it being anything but deliberate and affectionate when he pulled you close, snuggling against you to sleep.
***
When you woke, you found Jeff watching you, causing heat to fan over your cheeks.
“Will you go on a date with me tonight?” He questioned, voice still scratchy with sleep.
“I think I can manage that.” You replied, stretching a bit causing Jeff’s eyes to flash at the feeling of you along his body.
“Good. I’ve got practice in a bit but after that I’m all yours.”
“Sounds good.” You agreed, kissing Jeff’s jaw before shifting to crawl out of bed despite his protests.
Taking care of business, you moved out to the kitchen to start on breakfast, smiling to yourself as Jeff pressed up against you upon joining you. Everything about his actions this morning had been slightly more deliberate with him trying to more clearly communicate just how he was feeling.
You couldn’t deny that since last night you hadn’t been able to stop thinking about the physical aspects of a relationship. After all, you only had today and part of tomorrow left before you had to head home to spend Christmas with your family. And who knew when you’d get to see Jeff next after that. He’d said he didn’t mind waiting but really, hadn’t you both been waiting since Pittsburgh already? The attraction was there and very much mutual and you weren’t sure you wanted to wait for some uncertain future date to take that step. You couldn’t imagine going home not knowing what it felt like to be with him fully.
You were grateful he’d stopped things last night but having slept on it, you knew what you wanted now. Though you certainly hadn’t brought anything for that kind of activity, a quick google search while Jeff got ready for practice revealed that there was a mall with a Victoria’s secret not too far away.
It definitely wasn’t someplace you shopped for everyday wear but you were confident you could find something to wear under whatever you picked for your date later to surprise Jeff with when you came home.
Once he had left promising to be back in a couple hours, you moved to get dressed yourself and head out to find something to suit your needs.
It didn’t take too long to get to the mall and after looking around the store for a while you finally picked out a push up teddy that made you feel confident and desirable. Quickly heading back to Jeff’s you hid it amongst your things and moved to curl up on the couch excitement starting to rise.
With Jeff still gone around lunch time you made good use of the leftovers from your first night here knowing that they were going bad otherwise.
To your surprise, when Jeff returned around two o’clock he had a mischievous look on his face.
“How do you feel about starting our date early?” He questioned.
“I mean I need to get ready but sure.” You replied. Laughing a bit as Jeff waved for you to get on with it already, you moved to grab the lingerie and clothes before heading into the bathroom to change and do your hair and makeup. By the time you were done you felt hot and after cleaning up you met Jeff back in the living room his eyes going wide.
“Wow…” He murmured, pressing his palms against his jeans. “You look...incredible.”
“So do you.” You replied glad that he was just dressed semi casually signaling that this wasn’t going to be too crazy of a date.
“You might want to wear your boots.” Jeff suggested as you headed over to get shoes on. Nodding, you pulled on your boots and reached for your coat assuming that if you needed boots you would certainly need it as well.
As you took the elevator down, Jeff asked if you’d be okay walking since it wasn’t too far. Having no problem with that, you let Jeff lead you out the lobby into the cold snowy Buffalo streets. It was only a moment before Jeff slipped his gloved hand into your own and you smiled squeezing gently.
“So I’d ask where we were going…” You started. “But I have a feeling you won’t tell me.”
“Wonder what makes you think that.” Jeff teased, though the glimmer in his eye as he looked down at you revealed that you absolutely weren’t wrong.
There was no hurry to your pace as you walked through the Buffalo streets. As you did, Jeff pointed out little tidbits about the places you passed and told stories from his time here.
Though it was only approaching four in the afternoon, the sun was already starting to set and you knew it wasn’t long before it would get dark. And while you weren’t in the most built up part of town, you felt safe pressed up against Jeff’s side. Nearing a casino, you half wondered if there was a restaurant or something inside that he was taking you to, but Jeff showed no signs of stopping as you passed by it, crossing the street once more before turning left.
Suddenly Christmas music filled your ears and the smell of all sorts of good things filled your nose. After a moment, Jeff guided you through an archway on your right and you instantly felt like you’d been transported into a Hallmark movie.
String lights were strung over the entire outdoor courtyard and pathway and little wooden chalets with vendors of all sorts surrounded you. It was absolutely breathtaking and screamed Christmas.
“I was thinking we could walk around, do some browsing, get something to eat…” Jeff murmured nervously. “But if you don’t like it we can go somewhere else.”
Though you’d been friends for months, it was clear that Jeff wanted to impress you on your first date.
“Jeff…” You murmured. “This is perfect.”
Seeing him smile, those dimples you adore so much out in full force, you couldn’t help but press up to kiss him softly. This truly was the perfect first date and showed just how well he knew you already.
Tucked against Jeff’s side as the two of you walked around the market, you truly couldn’t have been happier. He’d bought each of you a cup of warm mulled wine which helped fight off the chill as it continued to lightly snow. You’d gotten both dinner and dessert (and a second and third dessert) from some of the many food trucks scattered around.
While browsing some of the other vendors you picked up a few small things to take home to your family. Jeff did as well and you finally got the nerve to ask him about Toronto.
“So your family was at the game the other night…” You prompted softly.
“They were.” He agreed, squeezing your hand which was once again wrapped in his.
“A game you invited me to come to…” You added.
“I didn’t fully think that through.” Jeff admitted, quickly resuming his words so that you wouldn’t get the wrong idea. “I wanted my family to meet the girl I adore while she was visiting but I should have communicated a lot of things better before putting that into motion.” Breathing deeply, he sent you a nervous smile. “But as long as I don’t fuck this up there will be plenty of other chances for that.”
“You really want them to meet me?” You whispered, insecurities filling your voice.
“Yes I really want them to meet you.” Jeff declared fervently. “You may not know it but I can’t shut up about you.” Your stomach swooped at his words and it was no longer just the second cup of mulled wine making you warm. If it weren’t for the numerous children around you probably would have kissed him deeply.
Instead you simply murmured ‘okay then’ before resuming walking through the vendor stalls, looking at what each had before moving to the next. Having walked the whole market, the two of you headed back to the small stage, listening to the music for a few minutes. The snow had started to pick up and Jeff squeezed your hand after shifting the bags he’d insisted on carrying.
“Should we head back before the weather gets worse?” He questioned and when you nodded he worked to guide the two of you through the small crowd back onto the street to head back to his apartment. As you approached his building he slowed his pace a little, almost like he wasn’t ready for it all to end.
“Did you have a good time?” He asked. “I know it wasn’t really a typical date but…”
“I’m pretty sure it’s impossible not to have a good time with you.” You insisted, cutting him off. “The weather might be cold but I’ve never had a date as perfect as this one has been. The only thing that could make it more perfect is if you turn on that gas fireplace of yours when we get back.” As you spoke your voice shifted from serious to teasing, causing Jeff to giggle.
“I think I can manage that.” He agreed, his pace picking up again as he dragged you down the street to his apartment building.
Once inside, coats and boots were shed in the entryway and Jeff immediately moved to turn the fireplace on so it would pump out some additional heat.
Following after him, you wrapped your arms around his waist from behind, hugging him close.
“Movie?” You suggested, knowing that as much as you may have wanted to, you couldn’t just jump him as soon as you walked in the door. Jeff nodded and once you had let go of him he reached for the remote to turn the tv on. Though he moved to hand the remote to you, you told him to pick something while you headed to use the bathroom.
Returning, you sunk into the couch, smiling at the Christmas movie that was playing. Jeff must have had the same idea because a minute or two later he appeared from down the hall and slid in next to you. After tucking you against his side, he pulled a blanket over you both, finally relaxing.
Though your hand wandering over Jeff’s chest and stomach had initially been accidental, as soon as you felt Jeff shift slightly and realized, it quickly became intentional. You’d seen Jeff shirtless back when you first met and you’d slept pressed against him. Those things paled in comparison to actually being able to touch him. To feel how solid his body was, how his muscles responded to your touch.
“Baby…” He groaned softly, the sound causing your core to clench with want. “You’re supposed to be watching the movie…”
“I was…” You defended. “And then I discovered something far more interesting…”
Pulling your gaze from the television, you looked up at Jeff to find him already looking at you. With your fingers trailing down his covered abdomen once more, you held his gaze showing him the desire you were feeling from your head to your toes. Though his warm brown eyes darkened, Jeff didn’t move a muscle, instead holding you captive under his stare.
Curious to touch him without clothes in the way, you slid your fingers down to the hem of his shirt before carefully creeping under. The moment your fingertips made contact, his abs twitched at the touch and something snapped causing Jeff to crash his mouth onto yours.
It was the culmination of every kiss you’d previously shared. Never in your life had you felt this wanted, this loved.
By the time the kiss was broken for the two of you to breathe, your palm was firmly pressed against Jeff’s stomach and he’d pulled you even closer to his body.
“I need you to stop me now if you aren’t ready…” He whispered against your lips.
Though you appreciated the gesture, you couldn’t possibly be more ready. And while you could tell him that, it seemed easier to show him. As much as you didn’t want to stop touching him, it was necessary - at least for a moment - and so you pulled your hand away from him before shifting to perch more upright beside him. In as smooth of a motion as you could manage, you pulled your top off revealing the black lingerie beneath.
Jeff’s jaw dropped.
“Fuck…” He groaned, his tongue swiping over his lips as his eyes drunk in your body.
“That’s the idea.” You teased softly, your hand dropping to rest over the bulge in his pants.
“Baby…” Jeff hissed, still holding onto a shred of restraint. “I don’t want to take advantage of you. For you to feel like you have to. Are you sure?”
Leaning forward, you pressed a kiss just below Jeff’s ear before whispering.
“I can’t imagine going home not knowing what it feels like to be yours. To feel you pressed against me, inside me. I don’t want to wait for who knows how long until we see each other again.” Swallowing back the emotions triggered at the thought of leaving him, you took a deep breath and continued. “So yes I’m sure. I’m sure that I want you to lay me out right here on the floor in front of the fire with your Christmas tree twinkling and bury yourself inside me until all I feel is you. Us. Together.”
As soon as you’d leaned back enough that Jeff wouldn’t headbutt you, his hands had cradled your jaw and he’d pulled you into a fierce but tender kiss.
“Mine.” He murmured between kisses, your skin warming all over at the sound of it.
“Jeff please…” You pleaded. You knew that you should appreciate the foreplay, just making out with Jeff after you had dreamed about it for so long. Yet you couldn’t help the desperation you felt for more…for everything.
That need caused you to whimper as Jeff merely kissed you again. But then his hands dropped from your face to your ass and he stood in one fluid movement causing you to wrap your legs around his hips. Pressed tightly together, you could feel the insistent firmness of his length right where you wanted it most, causing an obscene moan to spill from your throat as Jeff carefully lowered you to the floor before sitting back on his knees.
“I want to see all of you…can I?” He questioned, his usually soft voice rough from desire as his fingers slipped to the waist of your pants. All it took was a simple nod before he carefully pulled the pants from your body leaving you stretched out in nothing but the lingerie.
When Jeff didn’t say or do anything after a long moment, the insecurity started to creep in. What if he didn’t like what he saw? Nervously, you lifted your head to look at him and your heart stopped at the sight that met you.
There was no judgment, no displeasure on Jeff’s face. Just the biggest smile you’d ever seen, his eyes crinkled with delight and dimples on full display.
“You’re incredible. Stunning.” He murmured, awestruck.
Leaning over you, Jeff kissed you softly, mixing between soft tender kisses and playful pecks.
“Mine.” He stated again, stealing one more kiss before his lips trailed along your jaw and down your throat.
Tangling a hand in his hair, you sighed as he kissed his way down your body, missing not even an inch of exposed skin. He settled between your thighs, mouth nipping and then soothing the skin of your inner thighs in a way that would surely leave marks while also causing you to squirm against him.
Gently you tugged at his hair and when he looked up, his eyes were nearly black with pleasure.
“More.” You begged, aching to be filled, aching for release.
Pulling away, after surely leaving another bruise on your skin, Jeff sat back and pulled his shirt off over his head.
Perfection. Strong but soft.
He was everything you could have wanted and more. Feeling him lay over you, chest to chest, you were certain that you would combust. He kissed you yet again and your hands wandered exploring his skin as he pushed your desire to heights you didn’t even know existed.
“As much as I adore this bodysuit…” Jeff murmured in your ear. “It’s time for it to go.”
You couldn’t possibly have agreed more and as Jeff guided the straps off your shoulders you adjusted your weight, letting him pull it down your body and off with ease.
Laid bare, you watched as Jeff adjusted himself in his pants before he settled over you again, dipping to catch first one nipple and then the other in his mouth. The way he played your body was unlike anything you’d ever felt and a string of moans spilled from your throat as he brought each nipple to full arousal before kissing and sucking his way back down your body.
“Jeff you don’t….” Your assurance that ‘he didn’t have to’ died in your throat as Jeff dived in, his tongue swiping through your core as he settled between your thighs. Your fingers quickly scrambled for purchase in the fibers of the soft rug and your head twisted, lost in the pleasure of Jeff’s mouth.
“You taste so good.” He hummed, his fingers toying at your entrance. As he wrapped his lips around your clit he pressed first one and then a second finger inside of you, scissoring them. “Can’t wait to feel you wrapped around me baby.” He cooed.
“Then get inside me.” You whined. Though his fingers were large, they still weren’t enough to make you feel full. Not in the way you needed.
“Soon.” He promised before diving back into your slick heat. You couldn’t even describe the things he was doing with his tongue but between that and his fingers curling against the spongy tissue of your g-spot it was only a few minutes before you were screaming his name as your body shook with the force of an orgasm.
Grinning, Jeff pulled his fingers out, wiping them on his pants as he tongue laved gently across your core, licking you clean.
Regaining use of your extremities, you reached for Jeff only for him to kiss your head tenderly.
“If you still want more I need to get a condom baby.” He explained.
“I’m on birth control.” You insisted, not wanting him to leave for even a moment.
“We should still use a condom…” He urged, though he made no move to get up. “But I trust you, so if you’re sure…”
“I am.” You stated firmly.
“Okay.” Jeff agreed. “Just give me a minute to lose the pants.” He stood up and a moment later his pants and boxer briefs hit the floor and were kicked to the side before he lowered himself back down beside you.
You’d thought the top half of his body was perfection but it was nothing in comparison to the bottom half. Strong calves, thick thighs, that incredible hockey ass. And then there was his dick. You needed it inside of you more than you needed air.
“Please…” You begged.
“Needy.” He smirked, though he shifted to press his weight over you, the length of his body bare against yours for the first time.
“I’ve been dreaming about it since Pittsburgh.” You admitted. Your words caused a string of curses to fall from Jeff’s lips and he quickly reached between your bodies to line himself up before burying himself inside of you. For a brief moment there was a sharp sting as your body worked to adjust but just as quickly as it started it faded and you were left with that fullness that showed how perfectly you fit together.
Jeff looked pained from trying to remain still and you kissed him softly, rolling your hips up against his to signal him to move.
“I’m okay.” You assured him.
Kissing you deeply, Jeff tested out a few rhythms before finding one that worked best for both of you. Already you could tell that he wasn’t going to last long and you reached a hand between your thighs to help drive you over the edge. With the stimulation to your clit and the feeling of his length slipping inside of you with every thrust both internally and through your fingers, by the time Jeff’s hips stuttered and you felt the warmth of him spilling inside of you, you were already tipping over the edge into your second orgasm.
When Jeff pulled out, he rolled off of you, onto the rug beside you. His skin was flushed, his hair looked like a bird had made a nest out of it and a sheen of sweat coated his skin. He was still the most attractive man you’d ever seen.
“You’re a mess.” He murmured, grinning.
“So are you.” You echoed.
“My mess though.” He declared, pride filling his voice.
And though you’d already had two orgasms and knew that he’d need a refractory period of at least a half hour, you couldn’t help but roll over and kiss him, tongue caressing his the way he’d just caressed your body.
Breaking the kiss a few minutes later, Jeff did make you get up to go pee, his cum dripping down your thigh as you walked. While you did so, Jeff cleaned up the living room and by the time you finished he was waiting in bed where a twenty minute make out session led to another round of spine tingling languid sex.
After that, Jeff carried you to go pee again and guided you into a warm soothing shower where his hands gently washed every inch of you before dressing you in one of his shirts and guiding you to bed. There, you cuddled against him and quickly fell asleep with his arms around you.
----
When you awoke the next morning, the soreness from last night’s activities had settled deep in your bones and you winced slightly. There were absolutely no regrets, but it was definitely going to take some time for your body to get used to what sex with Jeff was like.
The bed beside you was empty but before you could even ponder where Jeff had gone, the door to his room cracked open and he appeared, tray in hand.
“Good morning baby.” He grinned, his gaze instantly filling you with warmth. “I brought you breakfast.”
Shifting to sit up, you hissed softly at the movement, waving off Jeff’s look of concern.
“Just sore.” You assured him. “It had been awhile…”
His cheeks flushed as he set the tray down over your lap before leaning down to capture your lips in a soft kiss.
“I’m sorry.” He murmured.
“I’m not.” You replied, fingers tangling in his hair for a moment. The way that had him grinning into the kiss made your heart flutter and you had the sudden inkling that you were more gone for him than you had realized.
And yet, this afternoon you were leaving. Jeff had to head to the airport for the final pre-Christmas road trip and when he did, you had planned to get on the road home. And you didn’t know when you’d see him next.
It all hit you at once and you pulled back from the kiss, desperately trying to keep from crying.
“Woah…baby…” Jeff murmured, reading the emotions written all over your face. As quickly as he had set the tray down in the first place, he moved it to the side before pulling you into his arms.
“It’s going to be fine baby.” He consoled. “All star break is in a little over a month and I’ll come see you.” He promised. “It’s not that long…and we can text and facetime whenever you want.”
Fist clinging to his shirt, you tried to take a few deep breaths.
“I know.” You whispered. “I knew what I was getting into but it kind of just hit me that we only have a few more hours. I’m sorry, I’m being silly.”
“Not silly.” He breathed into your ear. “Trust me…I’m dreading leaving to get on that plane.”
Staying in his arms for a few more minutes, you eventually pulled back, your eyes still damp but feeling more secure knowing that everything you were feeling Jeff was too. You weren’t alone.
“So what did you bring me?” You hummed, looking over at the tray Jeff had brought, filled with all sorts of good things.
Shifting the focus to be present in the moment, you pulled Jeff close, the two of you cuddling in bed while feeding each other from the tray he’d brought. When your phone vibrated on the bedside table once you ignored it. When it buzzed repeatedly after that, you looked at Jeff before reaching for it.
A quick glance at the screen revealed a string of instagram notifications and suddenly Jeff appeared a bit sheepish.
Opening instagram, you scrolled past a few posts until Jeff’s username appeared on your screen, five little dots underneath the first picture. Taken on its own the first picture didn’t explain why your phone was blowing up as it was just Jeff when he’d gone to sit on Santa’s lap.
Beneath it was a simple caption of “Santa came early this year…” Hesitating for just a moment you started to swipe through the photos, your heart beating out of your chest as you looked at each. The second was of Jeff staring at you at dinner with his friends as you laughed at something, his affection written all over his face. (How hadn’t you noticed that?) The third was Jeff holding you tightly after the game, his name and number on your back. The fourth…was you clinging to Jeff as he slowly pulled you around the ice at the end of their family skate. And the fifth. Well it wasn’t a photo of the two of you. Rather it was a photo of a letter to Santa penned in Jeff’s messy hand.
Dear Santa,
I won’t ask for much this year…after all, there’s just one thing I want. This Christmas please bring me a woman who is smart, funny, compassionate, and beautiful both inside and out. My best friend. Someone who understands the craziness of the life I live but who wants to be a part of it anyway. Wants me anyway.
Jeff
Dropping your phone to the bed beside you, you looked at Jeff in amazement. That was as public a declaration as one could make. Any doubts you had about Jeff’s interest vanished and you shifted to straddle his lap.
“Santa did come early this year.” You murmured, hands settling softly on Jeff’s chest. “He came in July when he brought me you.”
There would be all the time in the world later to wade through the dms and comments. Now though, you just wanted to enjoy your early Christmas gift.