Oct 30, 2024
-- Posted to private hospital forum by Dr. Selina Kochs [7/21/2020]
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-- Posted to private hospital forum by Dr. Selina Kochs [7/21/2020]
Hey guys! I’ve decided to finally launch my story blog, @bsamh-archive 🎉
The archive contains records of online posts made by the staff of one Bob S. Aman Memorial Hospital. If you like malpractice jokes, hijinks, or uhhhh… whatever our lord and savior Bob is, you might like what I do there!
I plan to update daily 😊
-- Posted to private hospital forum by Dr. Selina Kochs [7/25/2020]
(Archivist's note: polycythemia is a condition where the patient's red blood cell or hemoglobin levels are too high, and is sometimes treated by drawing blood.)
-- Posted to private hospital forum by Dr. Selina Kochs [7/22/2020]
Menu: BRAWNDO! TODAY ONLY, REPLACE that WEAK IV SOLUTION with the THIRST MUTILATOR! IT'S GOT WHAT PLANTS CRAVE! (it's got electrolytes🥵) HECK YEAH!!! Like GATORADE, but for the people who BEAT UP the people who drink Gatorade! 😤😤😤 -Head Lunch Lady (& Surgeon General) Samuel Labeouf
-- Posted to private hospital forum by Dr. Samuel Labeouf [6/20/2020]
Surgeon’s Log: day 25 of VR therapy testing Subjects 35, 19, and 21 are taking a break today, so everyone’s going to have to use the makeshift rope ladder we’ve constructed out of hospital gowns and stray gauze. Oh and also hair 😊 Subject 104.7 has decided to start a gospel group with specimens 101.5 and 95.9. I find that their songs will be incredibly pleasing to the demon portal! Subject $#\+! seems to be interested in the biomechanics lab. If Dr. Boon would be willing to just give him a pile of wires and limbs to toy with, that should keep him out of your hair.
-- Posted to private hospital forum by Dr. Selina Kochs (?) [8/7/2020]
FINALLY!!! The pioneering surgery that none dared dream was possible! As you can see- I am delighted to announce that we have now successfully surgically attached a fully functioning dog’s head- onto a human body. 🙌🏻 For centuries- mankind has longed to be closer to his Best Friend. Now they can both- at last- truly be as one ❤ We have created the perfect being- the bravery, steadfastness and loyalty of a dog- with the body and genitalia of a human. 🐶👖 PRAISE BOB! 🙌🏻🥰
-- Posted to private hospital forum by Dr. Jim Fish [7/14/2020]
Surgeon’s Log: day 26 of VR therapy testing Subjects 35, 19, and 21 are back on duty! Please be aware that they have recently unionized, so they will need payment before the carry you. Generally, it’s three riddles, but you might get requests for blood or your firstborn every once in a while 🤷♀️ Subject 104.7 is still singing gospel, but 101.5 has started singing 80’s and 90’s music, while 95.9 has taken to modern pop. Quite the groove! Subject $#\+! had a great time yesterday! He got a tour of the biomechanics lab, and even has his own pile of brains and sticks of ram to play with😊 👻stay spooky👻 - Randall (If I can’t remove the dang header, I’ll just fight it with a footer!)
-- Posted to private hospital forum by Dr. Selina Kochs (Randall) [8/8/2020]