Traitor
《SPOILERS FOR BUNGO STRAY DOGS MANGA》
Pairing: Gin Akutagawa/Michizo Tachihara
A big thank you to my fam Sandy for editing it into something much better, honestly I probably wouldn't have published it if she hadn't ♡
SUMMARY: Scuffles are not alien to Gin or Tachihara, but this is a bit more than just a scuffle. Not enough time has passed for either of them to forgive or forget, and it's not going to be pretty for either of them.
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The stitches had only just been removed. Sometimes Gin forgot they weren't there. They had become so familiar to her in the past months. She'd gotten too used to the stretch of skin, the burst of pain blossoming through her side. It had been strange--how could a human get used to having been split open?
Mori had advised her against going on another mission, insisting that she should take a break first. He was worried about her, he'd said. It was more likely, however, that Elise had finally caved in to wearing a new dress, and he'd been in a particularly good mood. She hadn't said anything, since they both knew she wasn't going to listen to him, but now that she was standing in front of Tachihara she wished that she'd taken him up on that advice.
She didn't move. The silence between them was painful. Almost. She had her fists clenched. Her weapons ready. If he moved, even a little, she would stab him. Right between his traitorous eyeballs. Or maybe his chest. Where his stupid bloody dog tag was.
What was she supposed to say? She knew she should do something.
But what?
"Traitor," she spat. It was the only word she could manage. Desperation bloomed in her stomach like ink in cold water. No, that wasn't what she want--what was she doing? Turn, run, Gin, go--
"I had to."
His voice was cool, uncharacteristically so. So unlike the snarky remarks he used to give her. How much of it had been real, she wondered? How much of it was a pretense? Something in her twisted. Guilt, regret, like a knife.
This wasn't her Tachihara anymore. If he'd even existed.
She forced all her emotion into a glare that bore no real hatred. She wished she didn't have a dagger in her hand. She wished he didn't have that stupid gun. She wished there was no Hunting Dogs. No Port Mafia.
"Leave, Gin." His voice was sharp, slicing through her nerves. Why was she so jumpy now? Was it because of the wound? She should've been more careful.
She didn't give him a reply.
Maybe she should--run. But she so wanted to move towards him. To hug? Grasp for skin, some form of comfort. To know that he was still human--he seemed so much like a robot now. Or maybe to stab him. Maybe both. She tried, but her feet were stuck.
There was a prick in her eyes. Like water. It stung.
Why? She hadn't cried before.
Not when Akutagawa had.
Not when the rocks broke skin.
Not when she'd seen her friends' bodies strewn over the ground like flimsy paper dolls.
She hadn't cried since she was a little girl. Living aimlessly, praying and praying to live through the next cycle of sun-up and sun-down. Wallowing in the dirt, running barefoot through the slums like a lowlife. Like a stray dog, rolling over and grovelling for their next meal.
After all she'd been through, why was she crying now? At a time like this, over something laughably small like this, over someone like him.
A lowlife who deserved less than what she'd seen.
She stopped her bitter thoughts there. Was that really what she thought?
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His scar ached slightly. He swore it did. He forced back a laugh. Who was he, Harry Potter? Tachihara attempted to gather his emotions, trying to stay composed while every part of him was screaming. He felt as though he had a hole in his lung, leaving him gasping and dizzy, shards of pain rolling through his flesh.
As though he was the one who'd been stabbed.
Still, his mission came first. And he was helping her, anyway. If he hadn't stabbed her, she wouldn't even be standing in front of him. Yes. She should be grateful to him, so why was she staring at him like that? Like he was a-- a traitor.
He hadn't even wanted to get attached to her. It wasn't as if he'd started with her in mind. She was just something that happened along the way.
Still, he was only human, not a robot. He'd still felt that thrill of victory after a successful mission with the Black Lizard. The wild laughter that had burst out of him so often with his team--that was real. Those little human moments had slowly built up in him and now he was a dam ready to burst.
At the worst time.
Thanks, heart.
Sometimes he wondered what would happen if he'd joined the Port Mafia. His brother was dead, anyway, rotting in his grave. Why did he care anyway? About the dead, when he should be caring about the living, and this person in front of him?
But he was too close. He couldn't give it up, not now. So he kept his chin up, kept his eyes staring into Gin's. He'd just injure her, drive her away, and forget. He wouldn't kill her. Just like last time. He wouldn't let this get to him. He would succeed, he'd be better than his brother, he'd be the best, he couldn't be weak.
He had to be strong.
They couldn't play around. Life wasn't a game where you got everything you wanted.
"Tachiha--" She hissed as he flipped his pistol in his hands and fired a shot.
The thump as she sank to her knees resonated inside his heart.
Was this feeling--guilt?