hello again i finished my lightningfur microfic today so here it is
also constructive criticism is welcome
Shattered Mind
Dead, dead, dead, a medicine cat, SpottedLeaf, her own mother was Dead. And it was all her own fault. She, LightningFur, had killed SpottedLeaf. “But how?” she thought to herself “how did that happen? I was nowhere near her?”. It felt impossible after all I had been fighting FireStar “my brother.” the information was dragged from what seemed miles away. It would have made sense if it had been Runningwind he was close by. No, I can't think about this anymore. I just can’t make sense of it, it’s.. It’s impossible. No, it must have been someone else. Her mother must have stumbled towards her after getting hurt. That must be what happened. After all, I wouldn't-couldn’t have killed her.
Her thoughts seemed muddled, distant even, but slowly they wandered to one name ThistleStar she hissed in her head. He exiled me for murder, murder of all things! He exiled her for the murder of SpottedLeaf ThunderClan’s MedicineCat. “Huh, such a hypocrite.” she huffed to herself. After all, he had murdered MudFur his own MedicineCat. Then her thoughts darkened. “He Exiled me! He exiled me, His deputy, His own daughter!” she screamed in her head. “Oh he’ll pay for this, he’ll pay.” she growled out loud, her mind spiraling deeper and deeper into the rage.
Her mind went to her siblings, the cowardly AirLeap, the goody-goody CopperLeaf “dead now she thought quickly”, the KittyPet lover CreekFlower, and finally FireStar. FireStar who had become deputy then leader, FireStar who had shared her loyalty to ThistleStar, FireStar who had been the best of her siblings. Firestar who was now the worst of them all. He had betrayed her. He had declared that he would fight her if he had to. Finally her mind floated to the rest of her clan who had one by one denied to come with her except for FeatherPaw. FeatherPaw, her own apprentice, the daughter of SilverStream who had been her best friend but had died giving birth, FeatherPaw looked so much like SilverStream and was loyal to a fault. Her mind settled, finally allowing her to walk peacefully back to camp. Until one thought interrupted her mind, one that she lashed her tail at. “I don’t have a clan. No warrior should be without a clan.” She thought, slowly stretching her legs before curling up to sleep.
the only constructive criticism is WRITE MORE <33333
this is awesome!!!! you really captured Lightningfur's confusion and refusion to accept what really happened!
love it love it love it <3