Well, hello, who are you? Hiya! My name is Fatma Guntes. Call me Gunti.
Alright, Gunti, do you have another name? You know, a real name? Yeeeeeeeeeah, that’s actually my birth name. But I think I get what you’re getting at. You want to know that I’m the future child of one or more of the New Directions kids who’s come back in time.
I have no idea what you’re talking about. What?
Crap crap crap. Alright, that was just an April Fool’s.
That was the worst cover-up I’ve ever heard. Yes, I’m wondering if you’re a time-traveler. So, let’s hear it. Oh my god, you’re a jerk. Hee-hee. So, anyway, I’m not really the child of any of the glee kids. I was born in Istanbul, Turkey to Arif and Özge Guntes.
They emigrated to the New York when I was a baby, and they raised me there until I was six when... jeezus, there’s no easy way to say this, but they died.
I’m so sorry. How? If you don’t mind me asking. My parents were Sunni Muslims. There was a fire at the mosque we went to, and they didn’t make it. To get serious for a second, the police never figured out if it was arson or an accident, which totally sucks.
Anyway, I got put into foster care. My temporary home was with Rachel Berry. She had a loft with Santana Lopez.
Yeah, and Kurt Hummel. Uh-huh, except he’d moved out by then. So, it’s actually a funny story. Santana had no idea that Rachel had registered to be a foster parent... hee-hee... much less registered them both as foster parents. As a lesbian couple. Hee-hee. You’ll have to excuse me, because this story never stops being funny.
Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s fraud. I know! Doesn’t that make it like ten times more hilarious?
So, how long did you stay with them? Ten years and counting. It was a total sitcom situation.
It does sound like a sitcom premise. Or a reality show. Rachel actually tried to get us featured on this TV series about unique families called Mix and Matched. We didn’t get picked though. Sad face.
So, did you get adopted? Uh, yeah, they don’t let you keep strays for that long until you do. "Strays" is what kids in the system call themselves. I think. I was only in a group home for eight days and I think about 98% of what the other kids told me were lies.
I never changed my name though. I mean, it always felt weird, like I was forgetting my parents. And whose last name would I take? Rachel’s? Santana’s? Am I Fatma Berry-Lopez? There’s a reason I don’t go by Fatma!
So, why didn’t you go by Gunti Berry-Lopez? You’d’ve be remembering your birth parents and respecting your new moms at the same time. And you won't be an easy target for seven-year-olds. I bet you anything Tana’s gonna fall off the couch in hysterical laughter because it took me ten years to figure that out.
So what’s it like living with Rachel and Santana? It’s the best! I mean, Rachel asks me yearly if I want to convert to Judaism. I always say no. My faith is the only thing left I have of my parents. All their stuff was donated to the mosque after their death.
Tana also asks me if I want to convert to Catholicism every Easter. I always say no, and then she gives me a high five and a "Good girl".
Plus, we have impromptu song-and-dance parties every night at 8 PM sharp.
So, is there anyone special in your life? I didn’t date until a few months ago. Tana brought me up to be confident in my sexuality, but that didn’t work. I mean, it worked, just not well. But I met a cute boy named Scott, and we’re going steady, and it’s the kind of stupid thing I should have been excited about when I was twelve, but I’m excited about it now. Of course, he wants to go further, but I’m not ready and he’s cool with that.
Oh, and before that I totally did a lot of kissing drills with my bestie Glory and it was nice but I don’t think I’m gay.
Oh, the most important question. Why’d you come back in time? ...
You’re kidding, right?
You don’t remember the part of the interview where I said my parents died in a fire that might have been a hate crime?!
I’m sorry. It’s just the most noble reason any of you guys have come back. What about your new moms? I love them, but they both sent me back with their blessing. Plus, it’s not like I’m going to lose them. Once I get my parents back, I’m still going to seek them out. I mean, it’s not going to be easy, since, you know, my parents were conservative Muslims, and Santana and Rachel are both hyper-pro-LGBT. But I don’t mind a big, messy family. It’s what I’ve always wanted.
Image Credits: weightlessness-issucha-relief, Now Magazine, allstarpics, habersulova