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Angel Haze live @ The Laundry, London 2016 @raeenroes

Seeing Angel Haze Live for the 1st Time

There’s an influx of emotions that happen when seeing ONE of your favorite artists, IF NOT the #1 artist on your list of musicians that you connect to.

Angel Haze is my 1. My spirit animal. If I could sing and my epitome defined who I felt I really was in my soul... Angel Haze would be it. Bitch can sing and rap with this beautiful masculinity about her. I’d sink to my knees for her.

“You’re my sweetest pleasure, I’m your biggest sin.” A couple years after discovering her from her remix of “Same Love,” I inevitably fell in love with her sameness. Her sameness in myself of feeling alone, feeling loved, feeling idolized yet feeling like no one can understand who you are. I come alive listening to her music.

Countless times after trying to gain her attention via social media (since that’s all I have as an average joan), she announced her tour and 1st stop was muthafuckin Oakland, California.

There’s something about the anticipation of seeing your favorite artist live for the first time. In my mind I was expecting this crazy crowd, her miles away and me (standing at barely 5′1) being lost in a sea of people, only able to see the tops of people’s heads and glances of my favorite artist in-between the sways of the crowd.

The day FINALLY arrived and goosebumps, butterflies and whatever nervous feelings of anticipations took over my soul. At the venue, I look around like.. yo.. there’s less than 100 people here. My mind flooded with holy shit, she’ll probably see me in my eyes... this will be the closest I will ever be to her in my life because in less than a year she’ll be bigger than this and I’ll be lost in the sea of new fans.

At the 18+ show, I’m there at 27 feeling old AF. With 18 year olds trying to sneak into the alcohol section, the bouncer sleeping at his post, a weak ass opening DJ and some expensive drinks later... Angel muthafuckin Haze took the stage.

The anxiety and excitement of hoping she sounds like she does on her tracks, hopefulness of making a connection with the artist and the sweet relief of smoking a blunt... IRL, with your favorite artist singing your favorite song, just feet away from you.. my mind/body/soul felt connected.

As a LEGIT fan... I look around at everyone around me.. Thoughts of “Oh you don’t know this mixtape track? You must be a noob” flood me with every song.

Something changes after seeing your favorite artist live for the first time. Every note. Every melody. Every. Single. Beat. hits you differently.

Nothing ruins an artist to me more than hearing their LIVE version of their song sounding and feeling different than when you listen to it at home in headphones. Angel Haze Did NOT Disappoint. Every track felt like I was vibing on my own in headphones at home. Every track had the emotion (if not more) than what I felt listening.

I can’t help but feel like I’ll NEVER be that close to her again. Embrace the moment. Don’t focus on recording or taking pictures. But when you’re in the presence of someone expressing their HEART, SOUL, and private thoughts... nothing compares.

I listen to the same tracks now at home, a week after the concert and I can feel the conviction, the pain, the suffering and the honesty in every single line.

Shoulda, coulda, woulda: I wish I would have reached my hand out to touch hers when she was less than a foot away from me.

I wish I could have stood out in the crowd from the rest.

The anticipation, the excitement, the connection.... can never be replaced after that first live performance. But the love and admiration for the artist has never grown stronger.

I fucking live for LIVE music. #angelhaze #bttwworld #backtothewoods

#angelhaze #bttwworld #backtothewoods #wolves #angelhxze #raeen roes #liveconcert #musicfiend