This is my friend, and I love her.
She is still the same as the day I met her… messaged her. That same URL, and just as darn cute as the first time she sent me a selfie with that omg so green paint on her wall, but it’s all good now, for she has covered its incandescence up with Wonder Woman and Star Wars posters.
She reminded me a few months ago, that I was the one to get her into Star Wars, and the sense of pride I felt burst within my chest was an unknown feeling. At first, I thought it was because, “ha ha!! I got you hooked!” – and that is still what I tell people when they ask – but in actuality, I’m filled with pride because this is my friend, and I love her, and Star Wars makes that stronger.
She’s an adorable and sporty lil’ Gay, who confuses her mother with her insistence to wear basketball shorts on family outings, and makes me laugh when she needs to buy actual “nice” shorts to go on a date. Thus, you can also imagine my shock when Little Miss “didn’t discover Elena Undone ‘til she was twenty” told me that she’d never gone camping! I will buy a camper van and road trip with her one day. It will be sunny, and the nights will be clear so that we can star-gayze; it will be gay with Pride Marches slotted into the schedule, and most importantly, we will be together… in the same country. She’s a bit problematic, but this is my friend, and I love her.
There are nights when it’s been a disagreeable day and all the chocolate is gone and I remember that Bering and Wells are not canon, and I feel so alone and empty, but I am not. Because in the darkness of my room, my phone will light up with her name and it will be like a hand on my shoulder to let me know I am not alone, and hopefully, never will be.
This fancy bunch of words is to be about her, but I also need her to know just how important her friendship is to me. I love her in a friend way, but also in a gay way; but that aside… she is the most important person in my life, my most favourite person, and in a way, my hero. She has taught me so much about the world, about comics and angst (oh dear…), and about myself in relation to loving another person. For now, and forever, this is my friend, and I love her.
I sometimes worry that she doesn’t know how important she is to this nerdsbian on the other side of the world, but I hope with this letter of sorts, she will know that when I see her name, or my phone dings with a message from her, or I see something that reminds me of her, my heart swells with love and pride. I also worry that in this nasty and dangerous world, that something might happen to her, and I cannot protect her. For even though I am human, I would go to god-like extents to ensure her safety and happiness. I would be her guardian angel, or her dark avenger in the shadows, ready to bitch-slap some douche, or pick up a pencil she dropped. How odd it is to want to be your hero’s hero. To spend the rest of your life trying to repay the happiness and love that they made you feel in one day.
She is the Wells to my Bering, the “oh I’m having a photo shoot with my dog in front of the Christmas tree and it’s snowing outside” to my “yay it’s 10am on Christmas Day and I’m stuck to the tiles with sweat”, but most importantly, she is the Jess to my Hannah.
She is my best friend, and I love her.
Happy 21st birthday to my best friend, fave lil nerd, and my gaybe Jess @btvs18 ❤️💛💚💙💜 I love you so much (if you hadn't figured that out already 😂)
