12. okitagumi
things you said when you thought i was asleep buchaiku
also
(i'm still accepting requests from this please send)
Here are two truths and a lie.
Firstly, I knew that you weren’t asleep, not really. Swords don’t actually sleep; steel does not dull for lack of rest.
Secondly, the moonlight shone on your face through the crack of the door, and it made your skin even whiter. Your lips were red like you’d been coughing blood, and it made my throat tight, as if I were drowning. Your head was in my lap and I combed my fingers through your hair. I wanted to pull harder, so that it’d hurt you. I wanted to put my hands on your neck and kiss the air out of your lungs.
Instead, I bent down close and whispered into your ear, and I said, “You did not have to see him at his worst. You could rest with a beautiful memory of him. The swordsman, the fighter. You did not have to see him shrivel and waste away on a bedroll. So it’s only fair that you were not with him until the end. I was his only companion.”
You continued to sleep, chest rising and falling as if all the world were still at peace. Nothing could have woken you.
Thirdly, I envy you. I truly do. Because he loved you best.
Here are two truths and a lie, Kashuu Kiyomitsu.
