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My favorite bucky moments are the ones where he doesn’t want to fight, but keeps finding himself in situations where he has to fight, and he relatively holds back and keeps his cool…until he doesn’t.
Bucky losing his patience and going “fuck it” before bringing out yee old winter soldier hits. every. single. time.
inspired by this post, here are some headcanons and meta about Steve & Bucky and queerness pre-war.
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Sarah Rogers:
This idea of Sarah's awareness/acceptance of queerness, doesn't necessarily have to be a function of her living in NYC.
If we go with the idea that Steve's parents were Irish immigrants, and Steve was born in 1918... Well that gives Sarah time to have been living in Ireland during the Easter Uprising.
One thing that annoys me a bit is when I have to read someone saying that Steve in the future doesn’t really know Bucky, that the way he describes him is based on the past—on the pre-war and wartime Bucky—and all I can think about those last two claims is: I think you’re just saying the sky is blue!
Obviously, the version of Bucky that Steve knows is based on the one he remembers from before they were both presumed dead. It’s obvious that when referring to Bucky’s character, personality, and morals, he’s talking about the Bucky he actually knew. In the present (especially in CATWS), Bucky is someone who doesn’t express personality because he has no agency. It’s not as if, when Steve looks at the Winter Soldier, he’s seeing a new personality that Bucky developed, because that’s not the case—the Winter Soldier is Bucky stripped of his agency, not an evil persona he consciously built over the decades. Steve spent the last 70 years in the ice, Bucky spent 70 years being instrumentalized without being able to express subjectivity. It’s not logically possible for Steve to give a deep description of someone who was presumed dead and suddenly reappears, clearly incapable of showing subjectivity.
Saying that Steve describes the Bucky he knew in the past doesn’t at all support the claim that Steve doesn’t know the present-day Bucky. Those are two statements that, in my opinion, don’t connect. Obviously, post-Hydra Bucky isn’t 100% the same person he was before the war or before Hydra, but it’s not as if the values Steve points out from the past Bucky haven’t resurfaced in the present Bucky once he’s free from mind control—the loyalty, the selflessness, the courage, the almost ontological bond they share. Of course there are changes, and of course there’s a need to adapt to trauma. Much of what we see in Bucky’s post-Hydra behavior are traits of trauma. And obviously, if Marvel were a decent studio, there would’ve been at least some proper exploration of this adaptation that both of them have to go through. But it’s not as if Bucky is now a total stranger Steve can’t recognize. There are new things he needs to understand about Bucky and vice versa, just like in any real relationship—people change, and disorders and traumas change people too. That doesn’t necessarily mean you no longer know that person.
It’s not as if Steve were incapable of understanding that Bucky couldn’t have gone through so much and come out unchanged. Steve and Bucky are two people out of their own time. In my opinion, it would be far too naive to assume Steve expected Bucky to be exactly the same person he was before the war (or even during it), when Steve himself went through something very similar to Bucky’s experience. Neither of them had the human experience of aging naturally, of feeling the passage of time and society in a way that was gradual and adaptable. In the end, both were violently thrown into a world they don’t really know. And Steve, like Bucky, has changed—he’s certainly not 100% the same Steve from World War II, and even less the same Steve from before the war.
Even Bucky, who was intermittently exposed to the world during those 70 years as the Winter Soldier, didn’t actually experience what it means to live in society over time, because he wasn’t truly living. He doesn’t remember being human; he has no conscious purpose. He’s pulled out and put back into cryostasis every time a mission ends. He isn’t truly conscious.
I think that opinion—that Steve just wants Bucky to be the same as in the past—probably comes from a mistaken reading that assumes Steve himself stayed the same, that he’s somehow free of trauma, which is a rather shallow interpretation of his character. I think one of the core aspects of Steve’s arc is precisely his adaptation to the modern world and his moral and ideological maturation, which implies change. Still, many of his core values remain—courage, selflessness, loyalty, stubbornness, and so on.
This claim is always followed by others where people try to equate any other relationship he has with any other character. I understand that seeing Steve and Bucky outside their bond is important, because those other bonds also shape their characterization. But what I mean is that it feels a bit forced to claim that any of those other connections are even remotely comparable, narratively or emotionally, to what the two of them share. Like, sure—it’s great to hang out with friends, go on a date with the niece of your decades-long crush, or trade barbs with a colleague you have ideological disagreements with. But trying to say that any of those relationships are more compatible or even comparable to the bond where Steve and Bucky are practically fundamental parts of each other’s existence, and that you can’t analyze one without inevitably mentioning the other, is really just playing the fool when you could spare yourself the embarrassment.
We’re literally talking about a relationship where the two of them are described as inseparable — in school and on the battlefield. One kept getting into street fights to save the other’s skin, one was willing to cross entire countries through enemy lines to rescue his friend, and the other was fiercely ready to die in an explosion inside a burning facility because the alternative would be leaving the other behind. One chose to stay in a bloody war while developing PTSD because letting the other fight alone was never even an option in his mind. They literally risk their lives to save each other’s without a second thought.
After 70 years, Steve was willing to die, not fighting back against the other’s blows, because the alternative would mean killing him — and he wouldn’t do it, because he was with him ‘till the end of the line.’ The only thing strong enough to break through 70 years of mind control was the memory of the bond they shared — not another friend or family member, not a shield or a suit with stars and stripes, but a single phrase, loaded with intensity and so profoundly true, born from a promise Bucky made to his friend when they were just two kids in Brooklyn, holding each other up through the worst moments. And that very visceral bond was the only thing powerful enough to give Bucky back his agency and his humanity.
Of course it’s possible to talk about other relationships they have throughout the films, but trying to equate them with the one that drives the emotional core of three movies — the one that reveals the rawest and most intimate parts of Steve, and consequently of Bucky — is honestly a bold choice, to put it mildly.
Is it just me or is Bucky like community dick for fandom. Like people consume Bucky / Seb Stan as an aesthetic object for quick drabble smut without really getting deep into the lore or his character themes.
not trying to yuck anyone’s yum but it is ironic because his whole backstory is he was used as a thing and people just write him as a thing / a penis with a personality for consumption.
uncle sam & peter fic (post-endgame)
the fic
do you ever just keep writing and writing until your notes might as well be another chapter themselves? well.
A million light years away, and he can still taste the Afghan air after an explosion.
sam’s 2 tours in afghanistan
He’s wearing a gray hoodie with a navy graphic tee—”Lettuce, the taste of Sadness”. He really is just a kid.
i played the scene frame-by-frame. i love his stupid t-shirt
“Okay, Queens. Let’s go.”
sam refers to peter as “queens” like steve does/did
sambucky crumbs <3
The guy Sam chased across Eurasia, and maybe caught a couple times (which was nobody’s business but theirs); the asshole at the airport who wouldn’t put his seat up.
[headcanon] sam & bucky met post-TWS, pre-CW (i WILL write this later, trust, but if not just read ‘to be alive’ by the absolute goat napricot)
brokeback mountain reference (did you catch it?)
The first sensation after the bedlam calmed down was that his left arm hurt. It’s not necessarily that he’s not used to it, but it’s more grounding, bringing him back to the present.
peter gets injured on his left arm & i open bucky’s part ambiguously (fun!)
i overuse italics… [oops]
Peter moves his hand to the spider insignia wrapped around his torso, pressing down lightly. He can see now that it’s really the same as Stark’s nanotechnology. The particles move, to reveal— Another Spider-man suit?
peter never lost the old suit after gaining the iron spider, meaning he was doubled up the whole time
He drags his feet, ears twitching strangely. Sam can see that the hair on the back of his neck stands straight up.
big fan of hypothetical physiological aspects of spider mutation when it comes to peter's powers, like his ears twitching, his hairs standing up like in infinity war, parts of his eyes shifting. hes an unsettling little guy sometimes
It’s been a long, long time since he’s had that kind of communication with somebody.
it’s been a long, long time (song reference)
If they peg him as sick, a sick dog, they'll put him down. Candy's old dog. Welles has eyes like Steve, blue and emphatic.
candy’s dog → the character’s dog from of mice and men by john steinbeck (1937) which i feel like he would have read (spoiler: the dog dies!)
Greenfield isn’t far from Shelbyville, he thinks practically, making plans for a letter for Rebecca to deliver.
rebecca lives in shelbyville, IN, where they were born, after getting married. i hc that bucky was not present for the wedding, it taking place during his first active deployment in 1941/2. realistically, he would have been in morocco or pacific theater. this means that he does get [2/3] the european-africa-middle eastern campaign medal and, if in pacific theater (philippines, guadalcanal islands [operation watchtower, 1942-43, a hc i’m fond of], CBI, manila… a good reference for this is ‘Heart, Have No Pity on this House of Bone’ by Sena) the asiatic-pacific campaign medal. i have so much to say about his medals.
european-africa-middle eastern campaign medal
asiatic-pacific campaign meda
US army expert marksmanship qualification badge (he’s probably requalified this so many times)
ph (probably like 2 of them, the second posthumous)
prisoner of war medal (posthumous - two of them, even, once he makes it out of hydra)
combat infantryman badge (obvious)
those little howling commando badges that are designed after steve’s wings on the helmet (uso outfit)
silver & bronze star?
joint service commendation medal (posthumous)
distinguished service cross (i don’t think i’m glazing… right?)
meritorious unit commendation (probably like all the howlies) / legion of merit
world war II victory medal (posthumous)
american campaign medal (posthumous)
medal of honour ?
good conduct ribbon
this amount of decoration and things awarded to him posthumously would be part of the reason why the 2014 revelation that JAMES BUCKY BARNES is a HYDRA TERRORIST ASSASSIN OH EM GEE!!!! is such a moment and then they were probably taken away and reawarded
EUREKA MOMENT: they are rewarded at that ceremony i was planning to write
There’s probably some science-physics explanation for how it still has battery, or even exists anymore at all, but he doesn’t care for it.
suspend your disbelief about them being able to keep their phones, ok? ok. every avenger has a hidden phone pocket. no they did not break. why? stark industries, of course #paidpromotion
[Unknown]
crying because the other day i was watching jessica jones and in one of the scenes jessica’s texting an unknown number and at the top the contact says ‘unknown’ but the text message says ‘unkown’ and i cackled because guys. really. this is a marvel netflix production. come onn
Because it’s a fucking mess. It’s a cacophany of car horns, the odd alarm, and people shouting at each other to move. Everybody wants to go home. Understandable. But the entire population of Harlem might as well be here, seeing the sheer amount of people.
and if i said spider powers were just neurodivergence? /hj
sam stayed in harlem at some point during college (funded by usaf; maybe social care and engineering, that kinda combination)? homage to his comic origins -- i do find delacroix/nola a nice switch up because not every black character has to be from harlem or atl, marvel, as significant as these places are
He wasn't even Spider-Man yet. A mutate teenager full of rage, purposefully lingering in alleyways just to see what came crawling out of the woodwork.
so heres my peter timeline in this universe. ben dies when he's 13, he gets his powers just as he's 14, he operates roughly and intermittently as a vigilante, at early points not even having a costume (just straight up rawdogging it in a mask and hoodie, probably [i'll write about this later maybe]), upon turning 15 (like a week later, canon) he appears in CA:CW. he is currently 16, almost 17. and, because i'm evil, skip westcott exists in this universe. he is in prison. i'm currently deciding whether he should get beaten to death with hammers, though.
“… Basically, they used to put these little, cheap coins called Charon’s obols by the deceased, or um. Even in their mouth. So that they could cross the Styx, you know, pay the ferryman. That’s Charon.
spideychelle crumbs + classical mythology nerd mj
charon is the ferryman that helps the dead cross the river styx to the gates of hades, to get into the underworld.
The kid swallows, like he's making room for air. Pulls oxygen inwards, shakily, slamming his eyes shut, like there's too much input all at once.
i’m bad at writing panic attacks etc because i’ve had only a handful in my life and i’ve forgotten everything that happened during them
Peter can do traumatic events. He can do trafficker-takedowns. Hell, he can do warzones. But the moment everything quiets, the tiniest thing becomes way too much.
comics maintain that spidey is unusually calm in the face of high-stress situations (including heart rate)
It’s like after the Incident, when their whole apartment complex was flattened by the Chitauri. He’d been 10, almost 11, and they’d been couch-surfing across New York for the next 7 months. The only positive during this time was that it was decided that Peter should just skip a grade up.
referring to the chitauri invasion (which that or the NY invasion is what avengers might call it) as the incident because peter & vigilantes are new yorkers first before anything else
their place DEFO got fucked up did you see all that property damage
smart Beter
Always felt like Bucky hated when raynor wrote psych notes in their meetings because it felt like an extension of the log of the Winter Soldier being updated in real time in front of him
I just cant help but see his discomfort as significant, especially considering the importance of notebooks in the WS canon (steve's notebook use for relearning the world. bucky's notebook use for amends, the winter soldier book's importance both on a character level and to the arching plot of civil war, maybe even more I'm forgetting)
here's the thing about Bucky's guilt. let's take TFATWS as canon for a second. I don't know if Seb did this on purpose or not, maybe I'm just projecting my feelings onto his face, (easy to do) but most of Bucky's actions don't read as someone who feels immensely guilty. They read as someone who is extremely depressed and not allowing themselves to feel anger at being abandoned (Steve) and obviously manipulated (Raynor, the govt, etc) We know that Seb reads the comics, and there is a lot of self-recrimination there. But MCU Bucky was handled p differently than 616 Bucky. His torture and brainwashing in MCU gave him much less agency. I think he genuinely feels guilt for what happened to Yori's son. That reads true. But Yori's son was a civilian casualty. The only other 'amends' scene we see is Bucky gleefully, devilishly treating a corrupt politician's car like a little RC Racer. His statement to her is delivered with tongue in cheek and a smarmy fake smile. He lies to his therapist. He isolates himself from many people, yes, but not from everyone. He doesn't seem to think he's unfit for human company or something, and we see him mediating conflict with neighbors, etc. Even in CACW when he says "I don't think I'm worth all this," it feels...rote. Hollow. To me, it doesn't sound like he's really doubting Steve's conviction. It sounds like he's fucking tired. Tired of running and fighting and all of the political mess he's tangled up in. We've already heard Seb say that "I remember all of them," was said to appease Tony's anger. If he truly felt like a monster for killing so many people, would he fight so hard to avoid capture? Would he let himself try to retire in Wakanda? Would he try so hard to help Sam despite his exhaustion with fighting? Maybe it's just self-preservation, or the sense of What Would Steve Do. But it doesn't quite fit, in my mind. I'm sure Bucky is guilty about the innocents he's harmed. But many of his targets would have been politicians and other espionage agents. Many of them would be soldiers who signed up to fight, whatever side they're on. He didn't seem too bothered taking out enemy agents during WWII. Admittedly, they were mostly Nazis, but still. War is war, whether it's hot or cold. I don't have a conclusive thesis here, also it's 5am so maybe this is nonsense. But I cannot bring myself to buy the narrative we're fed in TFATWS that Bucky feels this immense overbearing guilt. That's all.
what was bucky calling himself in romania? did he use the romanian variant of James (Iakob) when he talked to people and had to give them a name? how did he even learn romanian? does he have romanian heritage? did he learn it during the war? how did he pay rent? was he working in construction or as a line cook or something? did he have a little old lady as a neighbour who thought he was too skinny and lonely and forced him to eat with her at least once a week? did she make him help with cooking so he could make the food himself? did he go to the orthodox church with her? did the local kids like him? did he cut his hair himself or did he brave going to a barbers to keep it at a length he liked? did he like talking to market sellers about fruit because it was an easy conversation and a way for him to get used to socialising?
i have SO many questions about bucky in romania
