#gay steve

[amarriageoftrueminds]

inspired by this post, here are some headcanons and meta about Steve & Bucky and queerness pre-war.

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Sarah Rogers:

This idea of Sarah's awareness/acceptance of queerness, doesn't necessarily have to be a function of her living in NYC.

If we go with the idea that Steve's parents were Irish immigrants, and Steve was born in 1918... Well that gives Sarah time to have been living in Ireland during the Easter Uprising.

Steve Rogers's mother is obviously going to be involved with that, probably a member of the Irish womens' paramilitary group Cumann na mBan. (Would've also brought her into contact with Suffragists, Socialists, and Trade Unionists to pass that onto Steve, if she wasn't into all that already.)

And y'know who else were involved? A fucktonne of lesbians, that's who (including more than one female doctor and even one butch sniper!)

(My personal headcanon is that she was a nurse on the front lines in 1916, and actually left Ireland because she was in danger of getting arrested if she stayed. She met post-WWI-injury naturalised-American Joseph, either in 1916 while he was visiting Ireland (his home country) and they fought together, or in NYC, after he had been invalided home in 1917, then they married and had Steve in 1918.)

So if Sarah was a part of the Easter Uprising, she could've come into contact with/been accepting of lesbians, at least, long before she set foot in NYC.

You could so easily have her attitude as being like 'ah so there are men like that too, are there??'

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Gay-Community Steve:

It is hard for me to reconcile 'bloody-mindedly honest, terrible liar' Steve with being gay and knowing he's gay, and not being open about it, in a self-destructive-for-the-period way.

So either he was so deeply in the closet that he himself didn't know yet, and so hadn't been a part of a gay community with gay friends because he literally didn't know to look for one.

(Like, he and Bucky are a couple and sleeping together for years, but Steve is so naive or in denial he thinks it's just a thing all bachelors do in the absence of a girl they're going to marry.)

OR...

CATFA's view is the propagandised version of events, and Steve actually did know he was gay, and was out to his friends, and the real reason Captain America kept getting rejected for active service is not because of his disabilities but because... he kept admitting to being gay?

And it was only after he got serum (and got in the news), that his public records were expunged to cover up the fact that their darling supersoldier (good and pure and Therefore straight! or perhaps asexual!) ...had broken the law; both by being gay and by falsifying his enlistment forms multiple times.

(Kind of like how how celebrities get a suspect 4F or dodge the draft, and their PR team makes up a more-palatable lie to feed to the public. Like how Frank Sinatra got rejected for active service on psychiatric grounds, but pretended it was because of an inner-ear problem.)

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So, if Steve did have rainbow connections, where are they?

Possible reasons (beyond hate crimes, imprisonment or institutionalisation), why it looks like Steve only has the one friend:

Steve could also have had friends in the disabled community and lost them to illness?

Lost friends to the Depression/poverty, or had to move away from NYC for economic reasons?

Lost friends to internment (it wasn't just Japanese-Americans!), deportation, or lavender marriages (felt their new concentration on children and straight-passing made them strangers?)

had friends who were not enlisted, but we didn't see them because when we first meet Steve it's the middle of the day and they were all busy working?

had queer friends but: they were all enlisted by the time CATFA rolls around, and/or already died in the Spanish Civil War?

had queer friends but: they were all in the Navy and kept getting in fights with Steve about the Army being superior.

had queer friends but: they were introduced to Steve by Bucky, and 9/10 were actually friendzoned guys harbouring secret hopes and weren't exactly ecstatic to find out that Bucky was taken -- or, even worse, didn't see Steve as competition at all! -- and therefore never formed a good relationship with Steve. ('Jeez Steve why can't you n' these guys ever seem to get along? He was always so nice to me!' 'I know Buck, it's a mystery.' 😏)

had queer friends but: every time he went to a gay bar the men he could've befriended avoided him to hit on Bucky, or avoided him because he was hitting on Bucky, or avoided him because Bucky was hitting on him (and giving them the stink eye), or both of them were avoided because they were too... distracted to pay attention to anyone else.

(And/or the lesbians that talked to Steve all sidled up thinking he was a beautiful butch woman, then panicked once he opened his mouth, or were only there to ask if that friend of his was 'the double-date guy.')

imagine cops running Steve down outside a gay bar to arrest him for being a woman wearing pants… (Bucky would not let him hear the end of it.) And then being like 'oh! uhh sorry sir…' (two second pause before they suddenly clock that Steve and Bucky are a gay couple) 'Wait a second-' (Steve and Bucky already running.)

Maybe Steve would even become reluctant to go to the clubs, out of a fear of losing Bucky to someone else? Or Bucky reluctant to go for the same reason, and because Steve just attracts bad luck? (See: mob-related stuff below.) Both of them just sick of having run-ins with the cops?

had queer friends but: his views were so ahead of his time that even they found him too much.

(IE. barred from the gay bath house for protesting ableist body standards, the lack of POC, fighting the police too hard during a raid, and/or criticising the mob owners... Maybe Steve eventually couldn't go to any gay club, because he was in shit with the mob? Maybe the police actually thought he was straight, because they'd seen his photo up behind the bar as a persona non grata in gay clubs?! Future idiots will say this is 'proof' he stands for 'Traditional American Values.')

Banned from politics club for criticising Stalin's regime; barred from the jazz club for fighting a white dude there; banned from the radical womens group for bringing a trans friend; banned from the trade union for attacking the mob / wanting to fix union and police corruption. (Has he been excommunicated yet? It's probably only a matter of time.)

Picture hapless social-secretary Bucky helping Steve limp home from yet another Club that Bucky got him into, and having to listen to Steve rant about why 'they're all a bunch of hypocrites, Buck!' Perhaps homebody introvert Steve, secretly wanting to stay in, while extrovert Bucky keeps trying to help him get out more, and every time Bucky thinks he's found Steve the perfect place this time, Steve's all like 'we'll see.'

had queer friends but: he was so open about it that he was alienated by potential friends who wanted to remain on the DL and considered him dangerous. (Perhaps especially so, if they were / or about to be enlisted and didn't want to risk a blue discharge, and couldn't sanction the way Stevee blatantly proclaimed his orientation at recruitment stations? 🤔 Whereas Bucky was so invested, and had cultivated such a lady killer rep, that he can not-worry about being seen with Steve.)

Or: he was on the DL and was alienated by potential friends who weren't, and looked down on him for passing?

Or: he was estranged from gay friends who did the same thing he did (ie. declared their orientation during recruitment) but because they actually wanted to dodge the draft, etc.

Also consider: gay Steve and gay Bucky, both aware of their sexuality but not out to each other yet... independently going to any of the numerous gay hot spots in Brooklyn, seeing each other there, and fleeing in horror before they can make any friends, thinking 'omg why was he there? did he follow me?? does he know?!' And not figuring it out... because they are just genuinely that dumb.

Likewise, both of them in the pre-out phase, thinking 'well I can't risk having gay friends because they'd have to be a part of my life and then Bucky/Steve will find out!!' ...because they are just genuinely that dumb.

There are actually loads of options!

You could definitely do a have-your-cake-and-eat-it version of events where Steve has been part of a wider queer community, made friends, and yet still wound up having only one who stood by him. (There has to be reason why 'even when I had nothing, I had Bucky' would be true).

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Other Possibilities:

Steve and Bucky double-dating beards / playing mirkin to lesbian couples? = Hell yes.

(Sidenote: I also headcanon Bucky as having a gay sister, so maybe she could've been Steve's plus one, or they'd take out all Bucky's sisters to act as chaperones?)

Shit, why not turn it into a business? Bucky the Escort who gives his lesbian client a cover date, a great night of dancing, and a second cover-escort guaranteed to not steal her girl!

(Service comes complete with beautiful handwritten love letters (dictated by Bucky, penned by artist!Steve), a personalised sweetheart-style photo of Bucky, and a messy Public Break Up Scene on her stoop.😉)

RE: them moving in together: everyone talks about how queer Brooklyn was, but what if the boys went above and beyond for their own safety -- February House style -- and lived in a building exclusively populated by queer people? Maybe by queer members of the forces, or people who occupied humble positions in creative industries?

If Steve has lesbian friends from BK, and lesbian friends in the chorus line... why not both at the same time? Why not have some of those lesbian friends be Brooklyn girls who signed up to be chorus girls because- y'know -chorus girls, and were then like 'Steve?! Wtf are you doing here?!'

(Why not kill three birds with one stone: one of those chorus girls is Bucky's sister? Cue Spidermenpointing_meme and mutual assured blackmail -- she promises not to tell Bucky what Steve did if Steve promises not to tell Bucky that one of his sisters has run away from home to become a showgirl.)

Bucky as the social butterfly of the two, more likely to be out and about, especially in risky places (ie. he worked on the docks; he could actually get and keep jobs in those places), and/or the safer one, and given their later pattern of Bucky's friends becoming Steve's (ie. the Howlies)... I think Bucky would be more likely to be the one making eye-opening introductions to Steve rather than the other way around. Which could have interesting knock on effects... (see above).

Maybe he got Steve a lucrative job illustrating queer 8-pagers (maybe there's an underground queer magazine out of BK, a la The Circle, and he illustrates for that, using Bucky as a model? Cue hilarious 'what were you doing at the Devil's Sabbath?' moments when random men come up to Bucky in the street like 'where do I know your face from??' 😱)

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Re: Extended Family

I also headcanon that Bucky had a gay Uncle Jim (maybe a tailor?) who was institutionalized for being gay, and received harrowing medical treatments like electroshock therapy that eventually resulted in his death.

So by the time Bucky -- named after his dead uncle -- started showing signs of being bi, Bucky's parents had already had their eyes opened. Or maybe, like Sarah, they had already emigrated from a specific open-minded situation, so queer Brooklyn wasn't such a revelation.

Alternatively: In Stucky fic, people often seem to think as far as 'Brooklyn was queer!' but no farther.

But why not? Why does their queer education have to have started in queer Brooklyn?

Why not have Bucky's or Steve's (or both!) parents be engaged in Lavender Marriages, and open about it? One gay parent, or both?

(This might be another reason why Steve appears to not have friends outside Bucky; he might have got all the queer community he needed from his own family unit. Imagine it! Not just connected to Brooklyn queers but Edwardian queers, darling! The Herstory!!)

What if Steve's mother wasn't single but simply... 'never married?' 👀 Or maybe she was straight, but in love with her late lavender husband?

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And during/after the war:

Re: the Howlies.

(Have brought this ficbunny up elsewhere)

The Howlies knew and were fine about it, because... maybe there was an official investigation during the war to establish whether or not any of the Howlies were gay and/or in a relationship with Steve.

So, being a bunch of professional mischief-makers, and acting completely independently, the Howlies all pulled an 'I am Spartacus!' and claimed to be gay and in a relationship with Steve, under interrogation.

Steve also admitted to being gay, because he is terrible at lying and had to stand by them when he was told all his men admitted they were gay.

(Except for Bucky. He kept his head during interrogation -- sadly, not his first rodeo.)

So Bucky went down in hastily-redacted Army Record as somehow the only straight Howling Commando??

(The interrogators couldn't tell if they were being made fun of or not, and in any case the scandal was considered absolutely monstrous and a terrible blow for morale, so it was immediately covered up and no further steps were taken.)

Ironically enough, Steve & Bucky weren't even the only queer Howlies!

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The Future:

Seeing gay marriage legalised, the Stonewall riots, openly queer films and celebrities and tv shows, queer pride parades etc. etc. would be heart-breaking for Steve... because of course by this point he has become Captain America, deluded women he barely knows have spent decades claiming to have been his true love, and the people that did know him have been loyally covering up for him claiming he's straight. He'd feel like a hypocrite for not being what they said; or like he's letting them down by unmasking all their hard work.

And of course his real beloved isn't here any more, when he's finding all this out he's totally alone, no one to share it with, (doesn't know if any of his other friends are still alive, yet). And he doesn't want to have to relive that pain over Bucky by being interrogated on his love life...

Plus, after a century of being mythologised, he associates coming out with even wider public furore and a violation of the privacy that Steve Rogers never gets to have.

So all he has is the private escape of the 20th century's queer cinema, literature, tv shows, and porn (which all feel like an embarrassment of riches) ...but without being out to anyone - he feels he has to keep it a secret.

Until Bucky comes back, and isn't in a prudent enough mental state to realise all this. So for him, finding all this out about queer rights etc. is an untrammelled joy, and that's what finally gets Steve out of his negative headspace and into the light.

(And then, yeah, out and married. Try to stop Bucky getting his citizenship back when he's literally married to Captain America, assholes! Nowadays, the only women that hit on Steve are lunatics who think they can turn him, and Steve's only other problem is all the gay men who either want in on that threesome or think they can steal him away from Bucky!)

[resident-gay-bitch]

read part 1 HERE

“you are so stupid, ed’s.” steve had said with a love struck smile on his face, pink rosie cheeks under delicate freckles.

“yeah,” eddie hummed, grinning like a mad man at his beautiful boyfriend, “but you love me.”

“i do.” steve replied simply.

“gag.” robin poked her tongue out, sticking her finger over it, “actually about to vomit. stop being happy and gay in front of me, it’s revolting.”

“oh my god, robin!” eddie gasped, a hand pressed over his heart, “are you a… a homophobe?”

she smiled at him, tossing a peice of popcorn at his head, “only because you lovebirds make me one.”

“shut up, bobbie.” steve shook his head, “this is your fault you know.”

“yeah.” eddie agreed, “if you hadn’t ran your big mouth to steve the minute i told you about him, we’d still be hopeless and pining.”

robin sighed dramatically, “the sacrifices i make for you.”

steve laughed, pulling her into a tackle. eddie hopped off the couch, stepping away from the warzone. he walked into the kitchen, found nancy staring off into the distance, knife in hand, repetitively chopping a block of chocolate for their fondue.

“woah.” eddie reached his hands out tentatively, one resting on her wrist, “easy soldier.”

“eddie i can’t do this anymore.” she looked up at him, knife forgotten to the bench.

“do what, wheeler?” he asked, leaning against the counter, genuine concern in his voice.

she looked at him for a moment, eyes wide and staring. eddie felt a little unsure under her gaze, it was dark and daring, and usually, anyone put under it was about to be ripped to shreds.

but then she did something crazy. something eddie had never ever seen her do before.

she started to cry.

“hey-“ he reached his hands out for her, tentatively, not exactly knowing sad-wheeler protocol, “hey, it’s okay… it’s… you're okay.”

“i’m not.” she pulled herself into his arms, crying into his chest, “it’s not okay, eddie.”

eddie swallowed, she didn’t call him eddie ever, always munson or idiot if she was feeling playful, “i’m here for you, nance. you can talk to me if you need.”

she nodded, just holding him a little longer, “i don’t know what to do.”

he pulled back to look in her eyes, a big ringed hand stroking over her perfect curls, “what’s going on?”

“how do you do it?” she asked, silence sat in the room for a moment, “how do you… accept yourself?”

eddie’s eyes widened, “what do you mean?”

“i mean…” she sniffled, “how are you so okay with being gay?”

“oh.” eddie had said, face making about a million different expressions before settling on one, sorrow, “i’m… not. not really.”

she started to cry more.

“no, hey, no. i mean…” eddie shrugged, “here… here everyone is out to get people like me, you know? i’m not comfortable with it, not fully. i’m constantly living in fear of getting curb stomped or something.”

she turned into her hands, leaning over the counter now, “that’s not helping!”

“wh-“ eddie thought for a moment, he was not in anyway prepared for, or good at this stuff, “i’m sorry. i just… i figured you’d… understand that.”

she nodded her head, “i do.” she glanced up at him, “but… you… you're out.”

“to you guys.” eddie chuckled, “and a couple of the kids figured it out, and wayne’s known since i was ten… but, i haven’t… i’m not…”

nancy looked up at him, straightening her back out, “you're with steve.”

eddie nodded, “yeah, that’s… that’s about the only reason i felt so comfortable sharing with you and will and shit… because he- he makes it a little better.”

she licked her lips, taking a moment to breathe, eyes wet and red rimmed, “what do you mean?”

eddie smiled, “cause i love him, you know? it’s just… everything in this world is hard, everything’s out to get me, but steve… you know, he walks into the room and everything just feels a little more… doable. he makes life have more meaning.” he shrugged, “so, whilst being with him is hard, because we can’t go out or hold hands or anything like that… just having him close by and knowing that when we’re behind closed doors he can hold me in his arms, everything is gonna be okay again.”

nancys eyes drooped a little, “i didn’t think love was real.”

eddie offered her a sympathetic smile, “i didn’t either, until i met steve.”

she nodded her head a few times before grabbing his hand, turning his palm up so she could draw shapes on it with her finger. he let her. he’d always sort of had a soft spot for the wheelers. they stayed like that for a little while, whilst nancy processed things.

eddie broke the silence, “is this why you broke up with jon?”

nancy nodded her head, not looking up from his calloused palm.

eddie nodded in response, things started to click, “did you like jon?” silence hummed for a moment, “steve?”

she shook her head, “i don’t think so.”

eddie squinted his eyes, “you don’t think so?”

she looked up, “they were… nice but…”

“penis ain’t your thing, wheels?”

her cheeks turned red.

eddie grinned, chuckling softly, “secrets safe with me, nancy.”

she seemed to relax a little, “i’m sorry, eddie.”

“don’t apologise.” he smiled, pulling her back into a hug, “you know, a couple of months ago i was in this same place.”

“really?”

“well…” eddie hummed, wiggling his head as he held her a little tighter, “i knew i was gay, had for years. just hadn’t told anyone, didn’t know what to do. but i was so into steve and it got stressful because he was like… straight, you know? and so, i went to robin about it because she was a fellow weirdo and really nice, and i thought that if anyone was gonna accept me it was gonna be her.”

“oh.” nancy nodded her head, sinking into his hold, “and it helped?”

“a lot.” eddie chuckled, kissing the top of her head, “your safe with me, kay? m’not gonna tell a soul. not even stevie.”

she squeezed him, “thankyou.”

he let her go, and she went back to chopping chocolate. eddie headed to the fridge to get the fruit to help her prepare the desert. they worked together in silence, and nancy felt a even safer now around her best friend.

**

“that little… outburst…” eddie tipped his head from side to side and nancy punched his arm, “ow! hey! i was kidding.”

“jackass.” she shoved a clean plate into his hands to dry.

eddie smiled, leaning up against the cabinet, “you were feeling like that because..?”

nancy gritted her teeth, looking back over her shoulder to see steve and robin sitting on the floor of the hallway, deep in concentration in their thumb war, “it’s pointless.”

eddie followed her eye line, mouth parting when it clicked, “you like robert?”

nancy looked at him, shoving a clean fork into his hands now too, “shut the fuck up.”

“i didn’t say anything!” eddie laughed, putting the plate and fork away, ready to dry the next dish, “it’s a genuine question.”

nancy sighed, “okay, yes.”

eddie grinned, “you love her?”

nancy glared at him.

“i’ll take that as a yes.” he nodded his head, putting the dishes away, “damn wheeler.”

“mhm.” she nodded, “i hate it.”

“why?” eddie had asked, forgetting that nancy wasn’t in the know about robins sexuality.

“she’s like, totally in love with rob lowe.”

eddie laughed.

“what?” she scoffed, shoving a dripping wet plate into his chest.

“i’m sorry!” eddie laughed, wiping the plate dry, “i’m sorry that’s… where did you hear that?”

“she told me.” nancy muttered.

“when?” eddie shook his head.

“i don’t know, a while ago.” she sighed, “we were just looking through magazines together and i stopped on a page and said he had a nice smile, and then she said ‘oh my god, rob lowe is like, the love of my life!’.”

eddie bit his lip, “okay, that’s not true at all.”

“how would you know?” nancy asked.

because you are, is what eddie wanted to say, but he didn’t want to out her.

“i just do.” eddie nodded, “it’s not so bad, i think.”

“it’s hopeless.” nancy gruffed, “i’ve got all these shitty emotions about finally figuring out i like women and i don’t even have someone to make it a little better like you do.”

“hey, no.” eddie sighed, rubbing his eyes, “that’s not- i shouldn’t have said that, before. it’s not all bad.”

she glared at him.

“it’s not!” he shreiked before taking a moment to compose himself, “look, when you don’t have someone and no one knows about you, that’s when it’s shit. but that’s why i told rob, because i knew having someone that accepts me would make it a little better. your kinda standing in a room of fucking queers, nance, you’ll be fine.”

“i suppose. things are better with me and steve now.”

eddie nodded.

“maybe i can tell him.”

“yeah, exactly.”

“not robin.” she shook her head, “please don’t tell robin.”

“swear on my life.”

**

“steve.” nancy whisper shouted from the bathroom, “steve!”

“wh-“ he rubbed his eyes, backing out of the guest room to head her way, “what?”

“i need to tell you something.”

“are you doing this now?” eddie asked, voice muffled from the toothbrush in his mouth.

nancy nodded.

“i should leave-“

nancy grabbed his shirt, pushing him back into the bathroom behind her, “you are not going anywhere.”

“okay then.” eddie nodded, continuing his tooth brushing.

steve was on edge, “what’s going on?”

nancy gritted her teeth, “eddie said it’s safe to tell you, and you can’t tell robin.”

steve glanced up at eddie, and he shrugged, so he looked back down at nancy, “okay…?”

“i’m gay.”

his eyebrows shot up, “what?”

“that’s… that’s why i thought it was… bullshit.” she cleared her throat, having a hard time keeping eye contact, “i’m sorry.”

steve smiled, reaching out for her shoulder, “it’s okay. i get it… i mean… i like, only like dudes now so.”

“oh.” nancy smiled, a laugh of relief slipping out, “oh god, we’re hopeless.”

“yeah.” steve laughed.

“just, please don’t tell rob.” she shook her head, “i’m about to share a bed with her and i don’t want her freaking out and figuring out i’m into her.”

“your into bobbie?” steve whisper shouted, shock taking over him.

nancy nodded.

“okay.” steve said, “goodnight.”

“okay, goodnight.” nancy smiled.

steve slowly stepped away from the bathroom before bolting for nancys bedroom, flinging the door open rather agressively. robin screached, falling over, pyjama bottoms half way on.

“steve!” she rubbed her head.

“kiss her.” steve grinned.

“wh-“

“steve!” he heard eddie yell, then his footsteps.

“you didn’t hear it from me, but nancys gay for you.”

“wh-“ robin was about to scream before eddie was tackling his boyfriend to the ground, a hand over his mouth, begging him to shut up.

“did you-“ nancy stopped behind eddie in the doorway.

“steve…” eddie hummed, not caring about steve licking his hand, “did you tell her?”

steve didn’t answer. eddie looked over at robin, who was red cheeked and sitting on the floor with her pants half on, staring up at nancy. eddie groaned.

“goddamnit steve! she literally just figured it out!” eddie looked up at nancy, “i should have realised sooner. you can’t tell one of these two a secret without the other finding out.”

nancy slumped against the wall, ready to scream cry and run away.

eddie grinned up at her, “does it help if i tell you that robin is sitting there with her pants half on, freaking out because she’s got this massive lesbian crush on you too?” eddie began to pull steve away from the room.

“what?” nancy asked, staring at him.

“eddie!” robin called out.

“you did it to me.” eddie chuckled, “at least i had the decency to wait a couple of hours!”

nancy turned into the doorway, “your gay?”

“your gay?” robin said back, pants fully on now.

“you like me?” nancy swallowed.

“like…” robin shrugged, visibly riddled with nerves, “yeah, a lot.”

nancy shut the door behind her. steve looked back at eddie, who had finally let him go. he kissed his boyfriend once on the lips.

“you waited that long to stop me on purpose, didn’t you?”

“i promised her i wouldn’t tell anyone.” eddie grinned, “didn’t mean you couldn’t.”

[steviesbicrisis]

I was looking at my old drafts and found this:

I’m a huge advocate- HUGE!!! - for Bisexual Steve & Nancy

But I think it would be funny a what if where Steve is gay and Nancy is lesbian and they pretend to date to keep each other’s secret

And then they try to set each other up with their respective crushes -Eddie and Robin obv - who are at first annoyed “yeah yeah your partner is the best, I get it”, then very confused like “why it looks like you setting me up with your boyfriend/girlfriend?”

Honestly, it's funny LMAO

Imagine Nancy coming to Steve after they had a talk with them and being like "so what did Robin say??"

"She told me to stop rubbing my perfect relationship in her face. How did it go with Eddie?"

"..."

"That bad?"

"He asked me when is our wedding."

[penguicorns-are-cool]

Just started reading outsiders here are my headcanons so far

Pony is trans

Dally is gay

Dally and Darry used to have a thing

Steve has a crush on Soda (the real reason he's annoyed when Pony tags along is cause he wants a chance to confess to Soda, alone)

Johnny is aro, maybe ace-spec but like he wouldn't identify with the term aro-ace and if anyone asked he'd say romantic, he has a big platonic crush on Dally

Pony is also gay but I don't think he's been in any relationships yet or will be soon. He hasn't explored his sexuality yet, he just spends a disproportionate amount of time describing every new male character as compared to the girls he kind of went on a date with

also note: I would love a fanfic of Soda Danny and Pony just having family moments so if you've got any reccomendations

[lastmanherenow]

[milkshakescherryblosssom]

[argylemikewheeler]

imagine steve's coming out to the kids, like obviously nancy and jonathon already know, they're his best friends, and this kids are obviously all accepting of steve and they just all wanna know when he's gonna get a boyfriend it's so PURE

[[writing this was the best thing i’ve ever done. thank you xo i loved it sm]]

Steve’s freaking out. He’s really freaking out. Being honest, Steve Harrington has done some stupid fucking shit and has probably warranted a prescription for an anti-anxiety or something by this point. But this– this fucking decision– was the dumbest thing he’s ever done. Or at least, will be after he does it.

“Steve, why do you look like you’re going to throw up?” Jonathan asks, poking his banana split with his spoon.

“Because, Johnny, I am.” Steve mutters, craning his neck to see if the kids are coming yet.

“They’re fourteen year olds.” Nancy tries to hide her laugh in a cough.

“Please don’t throw up.” Jonathan adds. “Not on my ice cream.”

“Gee, thanks. Love you too.” Steve snaps with a tisk of his tongue.

“Steve, you’re coming out to a bunch of middle schoolers. This isn’t a trial.” Nancy says, trying to diffuse their glaring. “You do know like, two of them are probably gay. Like, statistically.”

“Yeah, well they got one big ol’ gay right fucking here, scooping them ice cream. Statistically.” Steve begins to chew his bottom lip. “Oh my god, they probably already figured it out. They stood me up.”

Jonathan doesn’t acknowledge Steve’s idiotic logic. “Why again are you having them meet you at an ice cream parlor? You work here.”

“Cheap ice cream. I can bribe them.” Steve answers without thought. “And it’s in public, so they won’t make a scene if things go sour.”

“Steve,” Nancy says, taking his hand. Jonathan takes the other and it’s annoyingly calming. “they aren’t your parents. They’re good kids. They’re going to be okay with it.”

“I really hope so– Oh fuck here they are.” Steve pulls his hands away and tries to dry his palms on his jeans.

Max walks in with her arms around Lucas and Dustin. Her smile is an echo of a memory Steve hasn’t had in a while. Lucas laughs and Dustin is cackling from the joke Steve was just out of reach of. Behind her, El skips into the parlor with Will, who is walking. Definitely walking. He looks sure to put both feet down evenly, alerting everyone he is walking. Steve knows that look– no, he wouldn’t wish that on anyone. Steve looks away and spots Mike coming in last. He spots his sister and waves at her, locating Steve in the next moment.

“I’m gonna hurl. Oh my god.”

“Why are you doing this again?” Jonathan asks, reaching for his hand again. He’d started holding Steve’s hand after Steve had come out. Steve had confessed his own disgust with himself, with how much he was afraid to touch Jonathan in passing or even play a sport because he didn’t want to make anyone feel invaded or uncomfortable. Jonathan told him he was never bothered and began grabbing hand when he wants Steve to know he’s listening. Steve doesn’t hate it.

“I don’t want them to be scared like me. The news is getting… worse and I want them to have someone happy– and healthy– to look up to if they are… how they are.” Steve says, squeezing Jonathan’s hand.

“You’re a really good friend to them, Steve.” Nancy smiles as she slides out of the booth. She kisses him on the cheek and fixes his hair; he hadn’t washed it in two days. Hadn’t slept properly longer.

“Good luck. Come get us when it’s all over.” Jonathan pats Steve on the shoulder as they walk away and leave the booth open for the kids.

“Hey Steve!” Dustin slides in beside him, scooting him against the wall. “What’s new?”

“Nothing really.” Still the same Steve, unfortunately. Now just self-aware. “How’s your summer?”

“Hot.” El says– she wasn’t going by Jane anymore, he thinks– thudding her elbows on the table as she sits. Mike slides in next to her and Will beside him. Max pulls up a chair to the end of the table as Lucas finishes off the bench with Steve and Dustin. “I want ice cream.”

“I’ll get you some. What flavor?” Max says, the easiest to stand.

“No. No I’ll get everyone ice cream.” Steve says, waving her back down to her seat. “I’ll use my employee discount and everything. I just want to.. I want to talk to you guys for a second. If that’s okay.” He feels his heart try to stop. Not skip a beat, not sink to his stomach or jump to his throat. No, it tries to come to a halt and kill him.

“What’s wrong?”

“Are you going far away for college!” Max cries, gripping at the table edge. “I thought you said that you were going locally! We need you here!”

“I am, I still am.” Steve soothes. “It has nothing to do with college.”

“Then what? What else do you do with your time other than scoop ice cream and bitch about going to college?” Dustin says.

“Hey, language.” Steve says firmly. “And I do plenty of other things.”

“Yeah, you sit in my living room and bitch to Nancy.” Mike laughs.

“Hey! Language!”

“So far we haven’t told a lie.” Lucas reaches behind Dustin to playfully shove Steve. “But, for real, what’s wrong? You typically don’t call us in like this.”

“I feel like I’m at a business meeting.” Will notes, folding his hands on the tabletop. Mike laughs and does the same, as does El. “Mr. Harrington, please, state your business.”

This is the moment, Steve knows it. It’s exactly what he wanted, but why does it feel so difficult? It feels like pressure squeezing around him– rather than on his hand. He wishes for a moment that Jonathan was there, but he has to do it alone anyway. It’ll be alone for the rest of his life anyway.

“I wanted to tell you guys that when I go to college, I might… I uh, I might start dating. Well, like, more seriously than I did in high school.” Steve isn’t sure what their parents have said about gay people and he wants to humanize and deescalate the lies built around his life. He doesn’t want to scare them.

“Well I hope so.” Mike says. “You can’t keep hanging around with us forever. I mean, we’re cool shit and everything–”

“Dammit, Mike! Language!” Steve sighs, poking his hands harshly. “Don’t make me tell Nancy.”

“She’s got a filthier mouth than me!” Mike cries. “She taught me how to correctly use the F word the other day!”

“Ooo! You’ll have to share.” Dustin says with excitement.

“Which F word. I know at least… thirty.” El asks quietly, nudging Mike with her elbow.

Steve can think of a completely different F word for the situation. And he hates that he thinks of it, but he imagines one of the kids spitting the word at him as they storm away from the table. But Nancy was right, these kids aren’t his parents. They wouldn’t use that word. They were raised different. They were raised in the middle of this chaos and death– they were empathetic and loving. He raised them; they’d have to still love him. Right?

“Guys, Steve’s trying to talk.” Lucas says, cutting through the suddenly yammering.

“I-It’s not important.”

“It is if you’re gonna buy us ice cream after.” Max counters. “That never happens. Unless it’s important. Or like, a divorce.” She laughs but Steve also knows she isn’t kidding.

“Uh, I just wanted to tell you that… that when I start dating in college. The people I date might not be who you expect.” Steve is such an idiot. Such a coward. He’s afraid of fourteen year olds. Genuinely afraid.

“What do you think we expect?” Will asks, furrowing his eyebrows. “All of them to look like Nancy?”

Well, no. But they’d be Nancies.

“Well, I’m sure you expect women.” Steve spits. “A-And… They won’t be.”

The table is still. They all stare at the table and Lucas turns his head to stare at Steve, the first one to move.

“Are you telling us you’re gay? That’s it?” He says with horrifying nonchalance. His courage frightens Steve.

“I am. Yes.”

“Oh. That’s the ice cream event?” Mike asks, unfolding his hands. “That’s not really that important.”

“It is to Steve.” Will reasons, reaching a hand out toward Steve on the table. Oh, Steve thinks, that’s why he came out. Will knows. He lets Will touch his hand, just like his older brother would. This time though, Steve is comforting someone else’s fear of contact rather than the reverse.

“Wait, does this mean you’re gonna have college boyfriends!” El asks with wide eyes. “Oh! They’ll look like those boys in the movies, Mike. Leather jackets and everything?”

“I mean, sure. Yeah. I could have a boyfriend with a leather jacket. Or maybe a denim one. Or like, no coat at all if he’s tough or something. I’m open to all fashion choices.”

“Except like, those weird colorful shorts or something.” Dustin says.

“I happen to think Jams are cute, thank you very much.” Steve says shooting him a look and pressing his lips together in a joking purse.

“Cute?” Mike repeats. “Oooooo! Steve thinks boys are cute!”

“I’m gay, that’s what that means.” He shoots back, the words coming naturally. He never thought he’d see the day. Maybe all it took were some rambunctious kids.

“But I mean… cute? That’s so sixth grade.” Max scrunches her nose and laughs.

“Unless he’s thinking of someone in particular.” Lucas points and Steve feels the thrumming excitement with none of the fear. “Who is it! Who is he!”

“No one! I’m not seeing anyone! You think I’d get a boyfriend before I told my number ones? I don’t think so.”

“When are you going to get a boyfriend, then? We want to terrorize him!” Mike groans, slapping the table jokingly. “Get a boyfriend already, Steve. God!”

“Not everyone gets a girlfriend from another dimension, Mike.” Will quips, his hand still touching Steve’s. “Steve is limited to human earthlings only.”

“Are the boys on Earth cute?” El asks. Steve isn’t sure if she’s playing along or not.

“Don’t you have eyes?” Steve asks, blinking slowly. “I mean, why are you asking me?”

“None of us are gay.” Steve doesn’t catch who says it but he feels a shift in his hand. “We don’t see what you see!”

“I see the same thing as you.”

“But they’re older than us! We don’t know what’s cute when you turn nineteen!” Max reasons. “The only nineteen year old I know is… Not cute.”

“That’s cause he’s your brother.”

“I think monster is his preferred species of origin.” Will cuts in, raising an eyebrow.

“Either way. He’s not cute, right, Steve?” Max holds a hand out to Steve, ready to receive the verbal validation.

“Yeah. Not.” Steve laughs. “Mullets? Not really my speed. I mean, neither is getting my nose broken– and that shouldn’t be for you either.”

“Okay, so Steve thinks that non-mullets, jackets, and non-violent boys are cute. Okay. That’s easy. We can get you a boyfriend!” Dustin starts counting the traits on his hands. “Please reconsider the Jams though, Steve.”

“You guys haven’t even had a serious girlfriend– o-or boyfriend.” He counters, resting his arm on the back of the booth seat. He accidentally nudges the man behind them, his hand jerking away to rest in his lap. He doesn’t look back as the man looks at Steve.

“Excuse me?” Mike says with mock offense. “Uh, I’m fine thanks.”

“You’re fourteen.”

“We’re holding hands.”

“I’m gonna gag.” Max teases, although Steve easily spots her hand resting against Lucas’ arm on the table. “I need ice cream.”

“Here, let me out and I’ll get you some– on one condition.” Steve points at all of them sternly. “You don’t embarrass me in front of any man that is between the ages of twenty and twenty-five that may or may not be wearing colorful shorts.”

“Twenty-five?” Mike repeats. “Isn’t that a bit old for you?”

“Isn’t El a little too cool for you?” Lucas says in Steve’s defense.

“She is.” Mike says sitting up straight. “But you don’t have to remind her.”

“Oh, I know, Mike.” She isn’t even joking a little bit. Steve loves Eleven. He really does.

“Alright alright, lets get you ice cream.” Steve waves the kids out of his booth and stands. His legs still feel like they want to buckle, but with a new sense of relief. He’s got six kids around him in case he falls.

Steve walks them up to the counter, waving to Robin as he slides over the counter to start serving them. Mike wants a sundae with two spoons, Dustin wants mint chocolate chip– two scoops, Steve, I’m a growing boy– in the last waffle cone, Lucas can’t decide between two flavors so Steve manages a special twisted stack of peanut butter and rocky road scoops, and Will gets sherbet– fucking rainbow sherbet– and Steve makes sure it’s the nicest three scoops he’s ever managed. Max asks Steve to surprise her as she ushers away, trying to keep Will from dripping on his shirt. She’s grabbing napkins from passing tables and holding it around the cone as Will readjusts his grip.

She’s a lovely kid, growing up in the sunshine despite being raised in such darkness. It was kind of inspiring, Steve hated to admit. She was five years younger than him and she was already showing him the promising future of keeping his head up. He needed these kids more than they ever needed him.

“I’m sorry.” A young man approaches Steve as he walks back around the counter, Max’s cone in his hand. “I don’t mean to bother you, but I overheard you talking.”

“Oh… Sorry if we were being loud.” Steve mutters handing Max her ice cream. He notices there is no one behind them. “Oh, was it you I hit earlier? I’m sorry.”

“No! No! That’s not it at all!” His eyes are green. Steve has never seen eyes so green in his life. He’s glad talking is an excuse to look into them. “I wanted to say that I agree.”

“What?”

“Jams are cute. Although, I think ruddy converse and jeans are cuter.” Steve fights the urge to look down at his own outfit; he knows he’s wearing those two things but he wants to make sure he isn’t hallucinating.

“I– thank you.” Steve is blushing in front of a bunch of teenagers and he wants to scream.

“Do you come here often? Live close or just on vacation?” The boy asks, licking his ice cream. Steve wants to scream. Why isn’t he screaming?

“I work here.”

“Oh. Good.” The boy smiles. “Guess I’ll see you again…”

“Steve. I’m Steve.”

“Theodore.” He nods and leaves Steve with a long look.

“Dude!” Dustin cries, slapping his arms and trying to bring him back to reality. “DUDE!”

“I can’t believe you all just saw that.” Steve was checked out, for the first time, in front of his babysitting gig.

“Steve’s got a boyfriend!” Max laughs, sitting back in her chair. “Didn’t take long.”

Steve nods in agreement, but there were so many months of half started conversations and awkward bail out lines that led to Steve even being able to make eye contact with Theodore. It didn’t feel like long to them because they only got to follow the positive; the journey including the negative and the regression was at least five years. But in the long run of the rest of his life, it really didn’t take long. Steve now had the rest of his life to be happy– maybe or maybe not with Theodore.

“I can’t wait for Steve to start college dating. It’s going to be so fun!”

“What if your boyfriend is like, a doctor or something? Will you date a doctor, Steve?”

“No! No! He should date a guy that can fix a car– you’re really bad at it, Steve.”

“You can’t pick his boyfriend’s skills like a Sears catalog… You should just go for someone tall! Like, taller than you. Or maybe blond too.”

“A redhead!”

“Hey, hey, hey. I’ll date who I date.” Steve laughs, sitting down in the booth again. “Lets not get ahead of ourselves.”

“Promise you’ll introduce him to us?” Will asks, twisting cone in his hand.

“Of course I will. And if you approve, it’s wedding bells for that poor sucker.”

“He better not own Jams, Steve, I swear to god.” Dustin sighs.

“So glad my sexuality doesn’t bother you but his potential fashion does.” Steve laughs. He wants to cry, if he’s being honest. This was the dumbest thing he’s ever done in his life, but it’s the most important.

“If you date someone who’s not as cool as you, I’m gonna be really upset.” Max says firmly. “You only date up.”

“Guys, stop.” Mike whispered, looking at El with over dramatic paranoia. “She’ll hear you.” El dips her finger in the whipped cream and slides it on Mike’s nose.

“How about this? I’ll only date someone who likes me, likes you guys, and… and…”

“Makes you happy.” Will pipes up, a dot of sherbet on his nose.

“Yeah!” They all agree, nodding their heads with their cones.

“That sounds easy enough.” Steve smiles. He places his arm around the back of the booth again, leaning into Dustin’s side. “Thanks for listening, guys. You’re pretty cool, I guess. All of you.”

“We love you, Steve.” Max says, the other Party members nodding.

I’m gay was yet to be followed by I love you for Steve. He grins and reaches his hand into the middle of the table. All the kids place their own on top and smile in return. He’s completely alright with finding a new family for college, even if it means he has to be the “adult” one. That doesn’t mean he can’t learn from his six brothers and sisters. They love him. That’s all he needs.

[milkshakescherryblosssom]