#bucky recs

[bucky-bread]

Im kinda grateful that i made an archive in my docs even though it's still not much, bc most of my list were still on my previous acc's likes and following, i haven't had the time to move & organise it to my docs, so yeah... Soon starting from scraps again looking for Bucky fics... Should make a folder for mob!bucky apparently😛

[darling2411]

Bucky Barnes

Fluff:

Wife speak by @tallaennatargaryen

Marked what’s mine by @daxisyzz

Timeless by @mandoalorian

Hold on by @aquaticmercy

How to impress a 21st century girl by @brunchable

Jackass by @aquaticmercy

Have we met before ?by @aquaticmercy

Late night shenanigans by @navybrat817

Forwards Beckon Rebound by @em1i2a3

I noticed by @cassiemaebarnes

Friendly Fire by @sleepypanda27

Yield to me by @mercurial-chuckles

Lunch boxes by @bluehourbucky

You ran into me by @byhuenii

A thousand years a thousand more by @wynnevee

Mission shipwatch by @ellebarnesx

Series/ Master-lists :

MASTERLIST by @adrinktostopyourthirst

Pie-eyed over you by @themorningsunshine

Two sides of the same coin by @anonymityisfunwriter

Honey Girl. by @violentdelightsandviolentends

Friday night by @ilovolderman

New Girl by @theidiotwhowritesthings

For better or for worse by @buckysleftbicep

Little dove (angst!!) by @barnesonly

Smutty:

It’s been calling me by @godmadeaterribleerror

Don’t touch the tech girl by @aquaticmercy

Let it happen by @flowersforbucky

Summer suprise by @pome-seed

Next Door by @starktonyx

Best friends don’t knot (a/b/o) by @slutdier

Angsty:

First base by @writingunderneathawillow

Second base by @writingunderneathawillow

The whole Package:

Lost in the wild by @daddyjackfrost

Mission partners by @firingstars

Cetka by @danysdaughter

manchild by @houseofhyde

[midtwentiescrisis]

Currently Reading [Series]

Just needed a place to keep up with all the series I am currently reading or saving to read later because I have the memory of a hamster.

HUGE SHOUTOUT to the all the writers for their amazing fics and thank you for taking the time, energy, and effort each of you put into your work! Words cannot express how grateful I am for y'all.

bucky x reader:

The Missing Piece by @imaginativeavengers (Mob! AU)

Living on your own in Brooklyn isn’t an easy thing. Your work life is awful and your ex-boyfriend is a complete mess. When you get caught in the sights of two of the most dangerous men in New York life doesn’t get any easier, but it certainly does get more interesting. [stucky x reader]

All Bikers are Hell’s Angels by @sweet-barnes (Biker! AU)

When Y/N’s older brother Steve gets into a near fatal accident, she’s the emergency contact. The notorious biker gang she finds littering the hospital is unexpected and so is the news that Steve is the leader’s best friend and right hand man, the infamous James Buchanan Barnes.

Double Agent by @bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky

Bucky can't control his rage as he sees you, a former Hydra operative, joining the team. His fury is quelled, however, when you reveal the truth about your past. (Each chapter has it's own summary)

Bad Reputation by @likeahorribledream (Biker! AU)

A bad break-up pushes you to move to a small town in California where you meet Natasha who offers you a job. You work alongside the men from the 107th motorcycle clubs who all welcome you with open arms, and for a certain brunette; with open arms. Everyone warns you to stay away from him, but as you’ll soon find out; it’s a lot harder to do than it seems.

Meadow and Pine by @bunnygirlwriter876 (Alpha! CEO! Bucky)

Bucky Barnes is the CEO of Barnes LTD and seems to have it all. He is a powerful alpha with wealth and a beautiful fiancée but it’s not all that it appears to be behind closed doors. When he notices the scent of a particular omega it gets harder to keep up appearances.

The Devil’s Club by @a-fictional-mans-wife (Mob! AU)

It started with a job for extra money. Little did you know that the night, a special guest requests for your presence in the vip area, would change your life.

Ride by @povlvr (Biker! AU)

Having been stranded in a midwest town thanks to being transferred by your boss, your days stuck working in the office & evenings glued to Netflix you’re not quite living life & hoping to leave as soon as possible but fate would have other plans, a night of boredom leads you to him. Slowly unpacking your life & heart to the only love you’d ever known, to a man who would face an army to keep you safe, the very man you call home.

Business As Usual by @pitifulbaby (Mob! AU)

“I don’t do love, I never understood it. But there is something about you, you changed everything for me. And darlin’ I don’t know if its a good or a bad thing.”

Along Came You by @world-of-aus

"You are the love that came without warning; You had my heart before I could say no."

Yours, Mine, Ours by @coffeecatsandcandles

Bucky Barnes has been raising his girls, Rebecca and Winnie, for the last two years. He'd lost all hope of falling in love again until he met you, a pediatrician with two children of your own- Elliot and Willow. He falls in love and he falls hard, but the challenges of being single parents still weigh on you both at times. Luckily, you'll always have each other.

Honey, There is No Right Way by @bonky-n-steeb steeb (Mob! AU)

When you agree to be the feared mobster Bucky Barnes’ sugar baby, you expect to get enough money to pay your bills. what you don’t expect is to fall head over heels for him.

In the Embers by @foreverindreamlandd (Firefighter! AU)

Bucky Barnes. The boy next door. Your brother’s best friend. The guy you’ve been in love with for as long as you can remember. Unrequited, that is, seeing that he only thinks of you as a sister (at least, that’s what you always thought). It’s been about a decade since you’ve returned home and reunited with the boy - now man - with stunning blue eyes and a smile that still puts a million butterflies in your stomach. You never expected to come back, thinking that you’d spend the rest of your life as a famous artist in Los Angeles with your boyfriend/manager. But things change, life gets messy, and now you’re back in your childhood bedroom living with your mom and working at the townie bar to make ends meet while you try to figure out what the hell to do next. The one thing that hasn’t changed? Bucky Barnes is still the boy next door, and there’s no running from him this time.

Haven’t started reading yet:

Our Home To Heal by @subwaysurf45

Working at the VA, you’ve found your place. helping people in the sobriety unit as well as cooking for the food bank, the VA had everything for you. Bucky Barnes has a not-so-good first impression but after dealing with a dark recent past he finds you to help him heal.

As It Was, Baby by @nexusnyx

Living right across from James Barnes was certainly an experience, but a much different one than most people expect. A neighbor who is respectful, funny and brings you food every now and then is any girl’s dream. Too bad you’re only his neighbor and nothing else. Or, at least, that’s what you thought. One stormy night changes everything and discovering that you mean more to the Sargent than you expected has life-altering consequences.

Their Doll by @kaiparker-avengerssmut

Y/n Stark, all records of her non existent, and yet Hydra still find her. When she is kidnapped by a certain super-soldier and no one believes her, she finds herself searching for unexpected familiarity in her not-so-distant past. [stucky x reader]

The Sweet Life by @mobbucky

You never expected your life to take complete turn around of events but when your best friend dies you’re called to take care of her daughter as her legal guardian….and so is Bucky. He always thought of settling down but never like this however he owed to his best friend to treat his daughter like his own no matter what.

New house, new routines and I guess you could say a new family except the two of you don’t really know each other that well. It’s a lot of new changes but you agreed to have your own separate romantic lives despite of it but when the moms in the suburb start hinting at Bucky a wave of jealously takes over you and suddenly he’s more than just a roommate, someone you share a child with…

Could a pretended family turn into a real one?

Love and Fire by @blanketbarnes (Firefighter! AU)

Station 107 of the NYFD, Brooklyn, is undisputedly one of the best in the city. That is because the people working there have indomitable spirit and an innate desire to help others. Their efficiency, courage and bond is unmatched and thats why they're often hailed as the city's heroes.

But, things have been a little out of place at the firehouse owing to their lack of receptionist. But all that is immediately solved when you walk in with a large plate of homemade cupcakes and a warm smile on your face. You not only manage to keep everything in place but also forge unbreakable friendships along the line. Especially one with a certain blue-eyed, metal-armed firefighter who manages to steal your heart along the way.

Where it Blooms by @wonderbreadbucky

You were rescued from Hydra by the Avengers, and when Bucky is thrown into living at the compound upon his pardon, he feels rescued by you. Maybe it isn’t as bad as he thinks.

Long Drive by @love-is-a-dagger (Biker! AU)

Feared bike gang leaders, Steve and Bucky, are emotionless and strong minded, normally not a good mix, but they make it work. What happens when woman gets involved? [stucky x reader]

Meant To Be by @rosepetalsinwinter (Mob! AU)

For years the girl was oblivious to what exactly her father did for a living. That is until her precious brother died violently right in front of her. She did what anyone would do. She ran. But the mafia is powerful, and they have connections. Her father finds her. He wants her home, and he wants her to marry James Barnes. He doesn’t care what he has to do to make her listen, even threatening those she loves. The girl agrees. But at what cost? She can only hope the stories aren’t true, and James Barnes isn’t the blood thirsty murderer everyone says he is.

Little Wolf by @marvelgirl7 (Dad! AU)

Sometimes the decisions and life choices we make come back to us in mysterious ways.

Renee Parker for the most part was happy with her life but she always wonders how different her life could have been and if she did make the right choice years ago.

Bucky Barnes is doing his best running his company with his best friends all while being a single dad to his little girl Piper. Piper just loves her daddy she’s a huge daddy’s girl and loves him to the moon and back. When Piper and Bucky meet Renee their lives will be forever changed.

Wanna Be Yours by @thewildthorberrys (Mob! AU)

no summary

Caught in the Fire by @dreamwritesimagines (Mob! AU)

In a city ruled by gangsters, nothing is ever simple.

Entwining Hearts by @tpwkbucky (Dad'sBestFriend! AU)

Bucky may be your dads best friend but that’s won’t stop him from making you his own. the only trouble is that you have a boyfriend already and Bucky is newly out of a divorce, trying to get full time custody of his four year old son, Jamie.

updated january 21, 2022

[goldenbuckyyy]

At least I'll have me

Summary: Someone from your past shows up at your doorstep at 3AM.

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Reader (past)

Word Count: 2,197

Warnings: Swearing, crying, angst, ambiguous ending (maybeeee part 2?), hitting, shoving, anything else? let me know if I missed something!!

A/N: I had been wanting to write something like this for a while now and I got this idea randomly last night at 2 AM and thus this was written last night! I like finding songs that fit my fics and it was pretty hard to find one for this one. But I found “I’ll Still Have Me” by CYN. Give it a listen and get in your feels.

All mistakes are my own. Please do not repost or translate my fics on any other site nor this one.

I appreciate any likes, reblogs, messages, and interactions!

“No,” you muttered. Your voice sounded so broken and hurt. You couldn’t believe this. You shake your head as you sniff and feel your lips start to tremble.

“Please stop. Don’t do this to me,” you begged.

You didn’t want to be able to still read him like this, but you can. You can see the deep emotions swirling behind his eyes and it kills you that he is feeling this way.

You didn’t want to be able to still read him like this, but you can. You can see the deep emotions swirling behind his eyes and it kills you that he is feeling this way.

You didn’t want to be able to still read him like this, but you can. You can see the deep emotions swirling behind his eyes and it kills you that he is feeling this way.

But he deserves this and you know it.

But you?

You don’t deserve this.

You don’t deserve to feel this way because of him.

You’ve shoved down every single feeling Bucky Barnes made you feel and now it’s breaking to the surface.

You shouldn’t be feeling guilty, but your heart feels so heavy that all you want to do is run into Bucky’s arms and sob into them while he holds you. You feel so torn at this moment because you want to let your walls down, but these are the walls you spend years building up because of him.

You placed yourself so high on these walls to avoid the pain that he had left you with all those years ago.

You didn’t deserve this.

Bucky tries to reach out to you to pull you towards him. One warm flesh hand and one cold metal hand. You shove him away as soon as you feel his touch by pushing at his chest. He stumbles towards the wall.

The loud sound of his back hitting the wall makes you curse underneath you breathe as you look over your shoulder slightly to see the dark hallway. You sigh in relief and look back at Bucky as you run a hand through your messy bed hair.

You didn’t expect your morning to go like this.

It was three am when you woke up to the rapid knocks on your front door and you rushed down the hall, rubbing your tired sleep-deprived eyes, and tugged your rube closed as you opened the door hastily.

You had frozen in your spot when you had seen the ghost of your past.

The man who had broken your heart in more ways than one. He hurt you in ways that you had never dreamed you could have been hurt.

But he did it. He absolutely ruined you and you had to build yourself up all over again.

That’s why when he rushed in, mouth running rapidly with apologies and almost getting on his knees to beg for your forgiveness. You were already rushing him to get out of here.

You didn’t want to hear his pleas for forgiveness and you didn’t want to hear about how badly he felt for what he had done to you. He knew what he was doing when he did it.

“I’m sorry,” his voice was small and broken. Oh so broken and pathetic.

“Fuck you,” you spat out. Your own voice filled with venom and hatred. Everything you felt at this moment was rage and you hated the man in front of you.

“You don’t get to come here and apologize to me after being gone for so long!”

You start pacing around in front of him as you look at him as if he is crazy.

“You left!”

“You walked out that door and never looked back! It was easy for you!”

You want to claw your heart out of your chest from how heavy it feels at this moment. Your eyes are watering with unshed tears as you feel yourself getting heated after finally letting out all the resentment and hate you had for him. Bucky was leaning against the wall with his head in his hands as you noticed he was crying.

Bucky Barnes was crying in your living room.

You never thought you’d see the day.

You almost wanted to laugh when you heard his sniffling, and you did.

You let out a giggle as you felt your emotions going crazy, his eyes snapped to you as if he couldn’t believe you were laughing at him, and you felt your heartbeat racing as your breathing started to become quicker.

Your unshed tears started falling fast as your giggles turned into quiet sobs as you reached for the countertop next to you to grip it. You gripped it to ground yourself to the situation.

You bit the skin on your knuckles to choke back the sobs in your throat.

You shut your eyes as you try to stop the tears from falling. Your lips are still quivering as you take in a shaky inhale as you try to calm yourself.

You can’t let them see you like this.

You wipe away the tears on your cheeks, your hands moving furiously, as you open your eyes to see Bucky doing the same and inching his way towards you.

“Don’t come any closer,” you whisper. You look down at your hands and notice the tiny specks on your fingertips.

You grip your hands into fists and look up to keep breathing calmly.

“Y/N,” he says as his voice breaks, and you turn away from him as you wrap your arms around yourself.

Your final shot at keeping yourself together.

“I miss you,” he says and something in your snaps.

In an instant, you are twirling around, palm up, and you meet his cheek with a loud smack.

He tumbles from the impact, his face twisted, cheek red, and he manages to catch himself with his metal hand on the kitchen chair.

The loud scrapping the legs make on the wooden floors when he stumbles to his feet, eyes meeting yours, his lip is bleeding, and you don’t allow yourself to feel guilty for making him bleed.

You hold your ground as you swallow hard to push down the incoming sobs. You set your hand down as you shuffle on your feet. You keep eye contact with him as he wipes away the blood with the sleeve of his navy-colored shirt.

You raise a shaky hand and point a finger at him. You let out a shaky breath, “Don’t do that to me!”

“You left me,” you hiss out.

You grip the roots of your hair and let out an exasperated scoff as Bucky fish mouths for words at you.

You hear the flick of a switch from behind you as you turn around to look at the hallway.

This is exactly what you didn’t want to happen.

You didn’t need them to see a strange man crying in their home with their mother crying as well.

But there they were.

Your twins stood in the hallway, rubbing their tired eyes, and they look around the room until both of their eyes landed on you.

“Mommy?” The softness of your little girl's voice makes your heart stop as she grips her big brother's hand into hers when she notices Bucky.

Her big curious blue eyes are staring at him in wonder as she looks at her brother in confusion. He only looks at her back with the same look as his eyes wander to bucky as well, but his eyes are yours.

Bucky lets out a choked sob as he sees the kids staring at him. He realizes that they’re looking at him like a complete stranger.

And that’s because he is. They don’t know him. He’s never met them before.

And they’re his kids, for god’s sake!

“You left us!” You finally let it out.

Bucky’s crying gets harder as he covers his mouth with his hands to keep his sobbing at bay as the twins start slowly moving closer to you.

You look at them and shake your head.

“Mommy is okay, babies. Go back to bed, go to mommy’s room, and lay there with the dogs, okay? Mommy will be right here,” you tell them as you try to keep your voice calm and soft.

They watch you carefully, their curious eyes still on you as they both watch the tears slowly fall down your cheeks.

You can tell they both want to run into your arms and ask you what’s wrong. They were both fiercely protective over you as much as two little five-year old’s could be.

You watch them as they both slowly turn around and walk down the hallway into your bedroom, but not before they both turn in sync to have one last look at the man crying.

They enter the room and shut the door gently behind them.

You turn back to Bucky as you sniffle some more and cross your arms.

“You don’t get to miss us when you left us! You’ve made your bed!” You cry out in a low voice as you grab his frame and start shoving him out of your house.

He is trying to stop you as he cries and tries his best to choke out some words, but he only cries more when you keep shoving him more and more until you reach the door.

You pull the door open and shove him off into your porch.

The soft rays of the sun already filling the morning sky around you.

That’s when you notice someone, no two someone’s, on your lawn.

They immediately stand when they notice you and Bucky.

Steve’s face is filled with worry as Sam only looks hurt. They both look devastated when they hear you and Bucky both crying.

“You have to audacity to be out here waiting for him?!” You exclaim as you shove Bucky one last time off your porch and he tumbles down the steps with no chance at catching himself on anything.

You know he could have outpowered you with his strength, but he didn’t even try to stop you. He let you shove him and push him all the way until he landed on his ass on your lawn.

Steve and Sam fumbled to his side as they helped him up. You scoffed as you rolled your eyes at the scene in front of you.

When you had lost Bucky, you had never thought you’d lose Sam. Especially Steve.

But here you were.

With nobody, but yourself and your twins.

“Get the fuck off my property before I make you,” you snarl at them as your eyes turned red with your powers wanting to come out and play. You clenched your hands to keep them at bay.

You stand on the porch as you watch them basically drag Bucky to his motorcycle, but of course... He stops and pulls his arms away from them as he turns to see you again.

“Please,” he pleads as he falls onto his knees as your breathing hitches.

“They’re my kids,” his voice is filled with begging. His face is red, his lips are shaking, and tears still running down his face.

“They’re not yours! They don’t even know you!” You don’t know how, but his face breaks even more.

“They’re mine and they’re only mine because you did this to us,” you cry out as your heart feels as if it’s breaking all over again like it did six years ago when you found out you were pregnant, and Bucky didn’t choose you.

He chose them.

You clamped your eyes shut as you tried to swallow the lump in your throat as you felt your hands start flowing with your powers.

“Leave.”

It’s the last thing you say as you turn on your heels and stomp back into your home.

You quickly shut the door and lock it. You lean against the wood as you let yourself calm down as you don’t want your kids seeing you like this. They’re already going to be so confused and asking a million questions about the man crying.

You let out a couple of deep shaky breathes as you hear the rumble of the motorcycles drive away.

“Thank god,” you mutter as you slowly look out the window to make sure they’re gone.

You sigh in relief once you don’t see them anymore. You slowly turn off the lights that were on and make your way down the hallway, your hand flicking the light off there too.

You find your bedroom door and open it slowly. Your broken heart feels full again when you see your babies in your bed, laying down facing each other, holding hands as your two fur babies lay down by their feet. They both lazily look up at you as they feel your presence. Little guard dogs.

They both relax when they notice it’s just you.

You shove off your robe and climb into the middle of the bed. You slowly maneuver yourself in the middle of your kids as you place one arm underneath their small frames. They both only melt into your embrace as they both reach over you to wrap their arms around you.

You let yourself cry silently as you let yourself think about what just happened the past couple of hours.

What the fuck just happened?

[yourgoldengirls]

BearCub | masterlist

Ao3 | Spotify | Taglist

Summary: Bucky still doesn't know what he is doing most of the time. He is trying to ajust to the 21st century with the help of his friends when his universe is turned upside down. Now he has to discover how to be a father while trying to find his place in the world.

Pairing: singledad!bucky x bestfriend!reader

Warnings: — each drabbles have their own warnings, but is mostly just fluff. all the chapters can also be read as one-shots.

A/N: English is not my first language so if you find some mistake please let me know.

--

0 - 1 year

not alone: 8 months.

little hand: 0 months.

breathing: [new chapter friday]

Thank you for reading! please like/reblog and comment if you like this fic or send me ideas here.

[mcumasterlist]

hey!! i love your blog sososososo much. it helps lots!!! i appreciate your hard work <33 along with that, i had a really bad day, so do you have any masterlists/story suggestions wherein the reader has a really bad day?? thanks a lot hun!! keep doing a great job <3

Thank you!! Glad to help!

Bucky Barnes

Morning by @writing-soldiers

Bad Day by @lazydoodlesandfanfic

My One And Only by @sanjariti

Steve Rogers

I’m Here For You by @justimaginemarvel

Thor Odinson

Untitled by @rreader

Sam Wilson

Serenity by @buckyywiththegoodhair

Peter Parker

Comfort by @fierce-flame

Bad Day Cuddles by @imagine-marvel-12

[yourgoldengirls]

little hand

Pairing: SingleDad!Bucky x BestFriend!Reader

Summary: Bucky receives a call that changes his life forever.

W/C: 2.3K

Ao3 | BearCub Masterlist

Warnings: angst, panic attack, mentions of past torture and brainwashing.

A/N: Hi, people!!! Thank you so much for the feedback from 'Not Alone', you guys really motivated me to write more and because of that I ended up writing more than I first intended. I really appreciate everyone that took some time to send me some positive comments. You guy don't know what this means to me. THANK YOU. English is not my first language so if you find some mistake please let me know.

--

Bucky was having a good month. 

He had a routine. 

Every morning he goes on runs with Steve and Sam, which is always fun because the man can never keep up with the two super soldiers. Then he would come back to the tower, shower and eat breakfast in the common kitchen with whoever was awake. After that he would read a book and drink some coffee from the machine in the kitchen that he was still learning how to use. At 10AM y/n would call him to watch a movie from his “list of things he should watch to keep up with the times”. It was separated by decades and they were already at the 80s. Back to the future was his favorite so far. After that they would try to cook something together from the cooking channels she loves to watch so much. She would burn things more times than not but he didn't care, because he always had so much fun doing this with her. After eating, she liked to take a nap, so while she slept on the couch, he would watch some documentaries about the major events around the globe after the war, because pop culture was definitely not the most important thing he had to catch up on. After that, they would go to the gym for about two hours before going separate ways. Then he would try - Enfasis on the try - and meditate because he read one of the self-help books Sam gave him as a joke last christmas. After that he would go to the common kitchen and have dinner with the rest of the team and if it was Thursday they would watch a movie. If not, he would go straight to bed. 

So life was good for Bucky. He had a routine. He could make choices and he finally had control over his own life. He hadn't had a nightmare for the past two weeks. 

So, yeah, Bucky was having a good month. 

That was until he got a call from the Brooklyn Birthing Center, at two in the morning. 

He was sure it was a prank from Sam, until the person on the other side of the phone said Abigail's name. 

Over his years of recovery, one of the things the team always insisted on him doing was go out and date. It wasn't that Bucky wasn't interested in anyone. He still finds people attractive and his sexual desires were not killed but HYDRA, his dick has made himself present on more than one inappropriate moment and embarrassed him to prove. But he wasn't the same charming guy from the 40s, and there were definitely less people willing to spare him a second glance now that he was a known assassin. 

One of them was Abigail. 

He met her one night he went to a bar after he left the tower tired of everyone annoying him with date advice. He didn't want to date. He was still learning to be a person again, he didn't need the pressure of a relationship on this brand new stage of his life. Abigail understood that. She didn't want a relationship either, she was finishing her last year of med school and just wanted to have fun. So then when to her place and after they both came twice, he left. He didn't stay for breakfast and she didn't ask him to. He didn't hear from her after that night. 

That was, until he got the call. 

The lady that called him didn't give him much information, he just knew that there were some sort of complications and he needed to go to the hospital. 

Next thing he knew he was in a nursery being told he had a son and that “I'm so sorry, there were some complications on the birth, she lost a lot of blood and unfortunately she didn't make it”. 

Bucky wasn't scared of many things in his life. He fought in World War Two, was captured and tortured, fell from a train and lost his arm, then he was captured again and was a prisoner of war for seventy years. After experiencing all of these things there is not much that can scare you. But he was sure that he had never been more afraid in his entire life than when he first laid eyes on the tiny body wrapped in the white sheet. 

He was so small that Bucky could probably hold him with just his hand. He didn't remember babies being this small. But then again, he didn't have any contact with a baby since his little sisters were born. 

From where he was standing, Bucky could see the little strands of blond hair on top of his head, his little nose and his pink little mouth. His eyes were closed so he couldn't see the color of his eyes. 

He was just so small.

How could he be responsible for such a small, delicate thing? Why didn't Abigail tell him she was pregnant? Why was he only finding this now? She probably thought he wasn't good enough to be in the baby's life. Could he blame her, honestly? He was a mess. What kind of life could he give a child? Some days he wasn't even able to leave the tower without having a breakdown. 

A child needed stability, a safe ia safe environment, stability and stable parents that would be capable of raising them. All things Bucky was lacking. He was a hundred percent sure he was the last person on earth capable of raising a baby. 

Bucky felt his breathing getting heavier and his palm sweating. The room was getting smaller and smaller. He braced his hand on the wall and crouched down until he was sitting on the floor with his back to the wall. He tried to concentrate on controlling his breathing counting to five on his head but it wasn't working. 

He then put his hand in his pants left pocket and took out his cell phone to call the only person able to help him at that moment.

She picked up at the third ring.

“Bucky? What time is it? What's going on?” her voice sounded hoarse at the other end of the line, having most certainly woken up with the ringing of the cell phone.  

“I need you. I can't do this, I need you here. Please”. 

He sounded so desperate that she didn't ask any questions, just asked FRIDAY to track the call and drove to the hospital. She would probably receive a speeding notification later, but it didn't matter. She needed to get to Bucky. 

Fifteen minutes later she found him still sitting at the same spot against the wall. Head between his hand and dry tears on his face. 

She sat down beside him and took his hand in hers, he looked so miserable and lost and in that moment she knew that this wasn't the regular panic attacks that he usually has. 

“Talk to me, Buck.” she whispered softly.

He finally locked in her eyes and scrunched his face, as if he was in pain. 

“I don't know how to do this.” his voice was hoarse from crying and she hated it. That wasn't Bucky. His voice was soft and warm, and she could listen to it forever. This broken and fragile voice didn't belong to him and she would do anything to never hear it again. 

“Do what, Bucky? Tell me what happened.”

He then stood up abruptly and mentioned for her to follow him. He opened the door to the nursery and stook in from on the bassinet where his son laid sound asleep. 

“His mom, she.. she didn't make it.” he said in a whisper, as if it was a secret, like he didn't want the baby to hear.

“Bucky, I- I still don't understand. What are we doing here?” She felt sorry for the baby, so young and already would have to deal with the loss of the most important person in his life. But she was so confused as to why Bucky would bring her to that place.  

“He’s.. he’s mi- mine” he choked the words out, as if it pained him to say it out loud. "He 's my son”.

She froze at his words, she couldn't have heard him right, could she? Did this tiny motherless human beyin belong to Bucky? She looked at him with her mouth open, her eyes daring him to say it again. 

He then locked eyes with her for the second time that night and she knew he was serius.

“He’s mine and I don't know what to do.” 

She understood at that moment why he had called her. It wasn't to help him to calm down during a panic attack. It wasn't because he always needed to be held after he had calmed down and she knew just the right way he liked his hair being played with while he laid his head at her chest. He didn't need her comfort.

He was asking her for directions. Instructions. 

Y/N knew that Bucky still struggled to make decisions by himself. Seventy years of being silenced would do that to a person. When he first came to the tower he would struggle to even pick his own breakfast. There were just too many options. For the first three months he would eat anything Steve gave him. The first time he chose something by winself - omelet, please, Stevie - Steve’s smile was so big that you could swear he won the lottery. After that he's progress was slow but effective. He became more confident with himself everyday. Slowly thrusting his own judgment to make his own choices. 

So to see Bucky this lost, looking at her desperately seeking for directions, opened a wound at her chest. Because she knew that she wasn't there as his friend. She was there as his handler. 

But she couldn't do this to him. She couldn't tell him what to do. Especially not with something with this magnitude. 

“What do you wanna do, Bucky?” he frowned at her question, and she knew she had to be more specific. She needed to guide him through the process and untangle the knots in his head. “You have options. Nobody would judge you.” She then took a step towards him and cupped his face softly in her hands. “You don't have to do this if you don't want to. But.. if you do want to, then I'll be right there by your side. Every step on the way. Steve too, you know that. You guys hate that ‘till the end of the line’ shit, you know he'll always support you.” he then gave her a small smile and rolled his eyes and she knew that he was coming back to his senses and his thoughts weren't so clouded anymore. “You have friends, Bucky. We aren't a team just on the field.”

She raised his hand to her wrists and held her hands on his face. He was already feeling better and could think more clearly now. He took a deep breath and opened his mouth but before he could say anything, the little white blanket started to move and suddenly there was a little mumble coming from the bassinet. They both turned their heads and saw that the baby was now aweke. 

He took a step towards the baby and was faced with the biggest blue eyes that were the perfect copy of his. The thought that his son could inherit something from him that wasn't bad made his chest warm up. 

“You know.. when we were little kids, Steve and I used to joke around saying that whoever had kids first had to name it after the other person.”.

She smiled at him even though he wasn't looking at her. The image of her two best friends talking about something so simple and sweet when they were young and clueless of  everything that would happen in their lives warmed her heart. 

“Are we looking at little Stevie right now?” She asked him.

He raised his flash hand and stroked his son’s little cheek, watching his curious eyes discovering the world.

“Nah. Can’t have two Steve’s walking around.” he laughs “That would be too much trouble.”

“He’s your son, Buck. He’s going to be trouble either way.” she jokes, noticing that he was already in a playful mode. “He still needs a name, though”.

“Grant. Grant Barnes.” He then smiles and she knows at that moment that he made his decision. 

“That's Steve’s middle name, I don't see how that can be any less trouble.'' She takes a step further and stops besides Bucky, laying her head at his shoulder while they both watched the baby's toothless mouth opening while he was yawning. 

“Trust me, that will reduce the trouble at least twenty five percent.”.

“Whatever you say, Buck.'' She raises her head to kiss his cheek and lays back at his shoulder. “Whatever you say.”.

Bucky knows that this will probably be the biggest challenge of his life. Bigger than fighting the nazi germany. Bigger than going on missions for HYDRA while being brainwashed. Bigger than running away from the government when everybody wanted to see him locked up. He was now responsible for a whole human being and every action and decision that he took from this moment on was going to affect that living being as well. 

But at that moment, with y/n head lying on his shoulder and looking at his baby, when his son’s little hand squeezed his index finger, he knew that no matter the challenge and difficulties that come, they were going to be okay. 

Thank you for reading! please like/reblog and comment if you like this fic or let me know here.

[yourgoldengirls]

not alone

Pairing: SingleDad!Bucky x BestFriend!Reader

Summary: Bucky is a single father struggling to raise his son. But maybe he doesn't have to do everything alone.

Warnings: baby crying, one swear word.

W/C: 888

Ao3 | BearCub Masterlist

A/N: this is the first drabble from the series of single father Bucky and baby Grant. all the chapters can also be read as one-shots. I know I haven't been actively writing here for a while now. I'm sorry. This year have been the hardest of my live in every aspect and I've been struggling to find motivation to do things that I once loved. I deeply apologize to everyone that I let down. I hope some of you are still here. I wrote this really fast to comfort myself while I was super depressed so I might revisit this later. English is not my first language so if you find some mistake please let me know.

--

Two hours. 

His baby has been crying for two hours and he didn't know what to do. 

He tried everything. His boy wasn't hungry, sick nor his diaper needed a change. He even tried playing with the child but it only seems to make it worse. 

Bucky knew that being a single father would be tough. When he received the call from the hospital that changed his life, he knew that nothing would ever be the same. But every time he looked at his son's face, he knew it was all worth it. With only eight months, Grant was the most sweet and calm child there ever was. He rarely cried, always ate his fruits and rarely made a fuss about anything. Which is why his father was having such a hard time understanding the reason behind two hours of screams.   

Bucky was minutes from givin up and crying himself when FRIDAY speaks, scaring the child who starts to scream more.

"If I may, Sergeant Barnes, Agent y/l/n just landed with Agent Romanoff."

With the mention of her name, Bucky's body relaxes a little before remembering that she was on a three weeks mission, probably tired to the bone and it wouldn't be fair to ask for her help at this hour.

"It's okay, FRIDAY. I got this" no, he doesn't. 

Even after all those months he is still a little hesitant to ask for help, not only with the baby, but with anything in his life. The team - his friends, he reminds himself - are always offering to babysit, change diapers or anything that he may need, but he doesn't feel all that comfortable accepting anything from the people who have already done so much for him after he escaped HYDRA. 

"Agent y/l/n is already on her way" FRIDAY announces. 

Because of course she was. 

If there was a stubborn person on this tower - besides Steve - was y/n. When Bucky first came to the tower, she was the first friend he made. Not because they had a lot in common, but because she wouldn't leave him alone. And after a while of her following him around, he finally stopped being annoyed by her presence and started to crave it. After that, they became fast friends and would do everything together. 

Grant is still screaming when the door opens. 

"FRYDAY told me he was crying. Is everything okay?" she says looking at the baby in his arms and Bucky notices that she was still wearing her uniform. 

"I told her not to call you. I got it under control." 

"I told her to alert me every time he cries too much. You know that" she checks his temperature with one hand while using the other to look at his diaper. 

"I already checked everything. He is literally crying for nothing." he says frustrated with his lack of parental skills to help his son. 

"It's not just nothing, baby's only cry when they want to communicate something. Let me see." She puts her hand under Grant's arms, taking him from his father, and uses the other hand to support his bum. "Hi, baby. You are upset with something, huh? I know, I know." She coos while lulling him in her arms. 

Grant then realizes who is the person holding him and slowly stops crying to inspect her face. He then puts his little fist on her left cheekbone and smiles. 

"What the hell?! This little traitor." Bucky can't believe that he spended the last two hours trying to calm his son down only for y/n to succeed in less then five minutes. 

"Hi, little guy. Did you miss me? I know I missed you. How about you and me play for a while and give you daddy a break, huh?" Grant then smiles and hides his head on her neck.

"I think he is too tired from all the screaming." Bucky laughs and rubs his son's back who gives the biggest yawn. 

"That's okay. We can play in the morning. Right, bubba?" 

She then takes him to the nursery and by the time she lays him down, he is already fast asleep. 

Bucky looks at his son and his best friend from the door and smiles affectionately. He knew his son was attached to her but not to the point of crying just for missing her. 

"You could have called, Buck." She says with a sign. "I know you don't like asking for help but I don't care. I love this little boy with all I have and if he needs me I'll be there. Same goes for you. You're my best friend. We're family." They walk out of the room and close the door so the baby would not be disturbed by their conversation. 

"I know, dollface. I just knew you were tired and didn't think it was fair of me to ask for help when you were out there saving the world.". He gives a sheepish smile and she rolls her eyes. 

"I think being a single father is harder than fighting bad guys. HYDRA has nothing on that little guy over there." They laugh and while looking at her tired face full of understanding, for the first time, Bucky thinks that maybe it really is okay to ask for help. 

Thank you for reading! please like/reblog and comment if you like this fic or let me know here.