Finally finished this silly little comic!
I kept wondering whether Dek could dance… or if he’d even get what dancing is, even after that Dimitrius blooper scene.
Just the Three of Us: You, Me, and the Holiday Bonfire
In which you, Kwei, and the rest of the crew celebrate the Yautja winter solstice holiday.
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Just the Three of Us Masterlist
BANG!
BANG!
CRACK!
You jolted up out of bed, blinking rapidly, unsure if the ship-shaking sounds had been real or part of a dream.
BAM!
“What the hell?” You mumbled under your breath and pushed the blankets off of yourself.
BAM! That one was way louder. You started to get a little nervous. These were not good sounds. You opened your door and immediately, more sounds joined the banging: Yautja voices, roaring and snarling.
Really not good.
You took off towards the source of the noises, cold fear already spreading through your veins. Perhaps some creature had gotten into the ship and was attacking Kwei and Dek, or maybe it was a raid by other sentient space-explorers. What really worried you, though, was the lack of noise coming from Bud. If there was a fight, the kalisk would most certainly be doing everything in her power to defend her clan.
Unless she was dead.
You burst into the central room of the ship, only to see Bud lounging peacefully on the floor, Thia leaning against her side, several other clan members with her. In the center of the room were Kwei and Dek. The Yautja brothers were both slick with sweat, green glowing blood seeping from many cuts, but you saw the distinct upper mandible tilt that signified big grins on both their faces as they punched , wrestled, and took turns slamming each other into the walls or floor. At one point Kwei even picked Dek up and flung him into the ceiling.
“What’s– happening here?” You asked Thia, eyes wide with both curiosity and worry.
“It’s the Yautja winter celebration, remember?”
“Yeah, but that doesn’t explain why Dek and Kwei are treating each other like punching bags.”
“The holiday always starts with wrestling and sparring at dawn,” the synth informed you, then gestured at the pair. “So… that’s what they’re doing.”
Dek punched Kwei right in the mandible, and he staggered back, blood splattering to the ground, but laughing all the same.
“We’re sure this is sparring? Friendly sparring?” Dek punched him twice more as he tried to recover. Kwei stumbled backwards again, slamming into the wall beside you. Ah, so that was the source of the banging.
“YES!” He said, a wild, joyful gleam in his pretty yellow eyes. “Sparring with my brother! We are showing each other what we have learned and what we can do and showing you how strong we are and how we can protect our clan!” By “you” he’d probably meant the entire clan, but you let yourself imagine he was showing off for you alone, just for a minute.
Kwei leapt back into the fight and smashed Dek’s face into the opposite wall. You cringed as yet more blood turned the metal green, but the brothers were laughing so gleefully you couldn’t help but smile too.
You watched Kwei pick Dek up and hold him over his head triumphantly. His eyes met yours, and you realized that he was in fact showing off mostly for you. Then, he let Dek drop to the floor. The younger Yautja lay there for a minute, breathing deeply, as if trying to remember how.
A very long and worrying minute passed. You started to move forward, to get a medkit, to check on him, before Dek sprang up again, full of energy, as if he’d fully healed in that single minute. You expected something after that. Conversation. Maybe Kwei offering Dek a comforting shoulder pat. Maybe Dek saying something congratulatory.
Nope– he just pounced on Kwei. The fight resumed.
You raised your eyebrows before sinking down to the floor beside Thia, your back against Bud’s warm body. The kalisk let out a low rumble and nuzzled you.
“I’m surprised you slept as long as you did,” Thia said. “They woke me an hour ago. While I was recharging! And you know how hard it is to accidentally wake a recharging synth!”
“An hour?” You winced again. They’d gotten up early to beat the crap out of each other. It was barely seven.
Dek, meanwhile, executed a particularly nasty move and yanked one of Kwei’s tendrils. Kwei shrieked– the sound made you flinch– and wheeled around to knee his brother between the legs. Dek yelped like a kicked puppy but gave no other indication of pain before he grabbed Kwei’s predlocs again– this time a whole handful– and brought his own knee up directly into Kwei’s face, once, twice, three times–
Kwei collapsed with a groan and Dek roared to the ceiling, looking awfully proud of himself.
You waited for Kwei to spring to his feet like Dek had, but it was more of a slow stagger, and he was clutching his upper right mandible. Dek cocked his head.
“Alright, brother?”
“You beat me, Dek,” Kwei replied, lifting the unhurt mandible in a half-grin. “I think I am done.”
Dek cackled maniacally while you stood, approaching Kwei.
“You okay?” You asked.
“OW,” he replied eloquently.
“Can I take a look at your–” he was covered in little cuts and bruises. “--everything?”
A smug light entered his eyes and he let out a little laugh. “I’d greatly like you to look at my everything.”
You rolled your eyes and grabbed a medkit off the wall, then started to look the Yautja over as he sat on his haunches in front of you. You were no doctor– well, not a medical doctor– but you would at least try to take care of your–
What was he to you? Your boyfriend? That seemed too human, to simple for what this was. No, some other word was needed. You had no idea what kind, though.
Anyway.
His little cuts and bruises were easily fixed with time and some magic Yautja medkit healing glue. He had no broken bones that you could feel, and other than that, the only issue seemed to be sore predlocs and that mandible.
You poked at it and he let out the saddest, smallest little noise of pain at the touch, his eyes instantly darting away from you.
“That hurts?” You asked. He hesitated, then nodded, as if unsure whether or not to reveal his weakness. “Hm. Looks twisted.” The mandible seemed out of place, abnormally shaped at the first joint. “I think it’s dislocated.”
Kwei grunted, covering the mandible with his hands, nose bridge wrinkled in a snarl. “Stupid Dek.”
Dek, across the room, whipped around and glared. “It is not my fault you have weak, dislocate-able mandibles!”
Kwei glared back at him for a minute before turning back to you, eyes shadowed in a way that you knew meant he was wary, nervous, about to run away, like a cat trying to hide an injury. You rarely saw the expression but it was hard to miss when you did.
“It’s okay. I’ll fix it,” you said, shuffling closer to him on your knees.
His eyes met yours, their piercing yellow abnormally soft. “Thank you.” The rumble of his voice was so low-pitched you could barely hear it.
“It’s gonna hurt, though. How about I count to five?”
He let out a soft growl. “I am not a pup.”
“Please?”
“Fine.” He’d given in remarkably quickly. Even Dek had picked up on it, one eyebrow raised in curiosity as he tended to his own wounds and Thia teased him.
You gently gripped the mandible. “One… Two... Three–” You gave the bent mandible an almost-gentle yank and it popped back into place.
Kwei let out a loud, clicking hiss, pressing his hands over the mandible as if to guard it from further pain. “You are a liar. You said count to five, not three.”
“The anticipation is the worst part.”
The big Yautja narrowed his eyes at you, but did not argue. “My… mandible feels better.”
“Good,” you said, patting his thigh, which was only inches from your own. “I’m glad.”
His eyes met yours again and you were suddenly very aware of your position and proximity. Your legs were between his, your breaths mingling, your bodies close.
The room became very quiet before the two of you picked up on the muffled laughter of the others. You quickly stood. “Um, anyway, Dek, what’s the next part of the holiday, after sparring? What else do Yautjas do?”
Dek and Kwei both grinned in perfect sync. “I hope that you are hungry, ooman,” the older one said.
“I am, yeah. Why?”
“FEAST!” They chorused, then marched out of the ship’s main room. You traded looks of amusement with the other clan members before following them.
Outside, Dek was lighting a fire in the huge pile of sticks you and Thia had made yesterday. He sprinkled something into the flames and they flared up, taller than even Kwei, before calming to a relatively calm Dek-height.
Dek then scampered back to the underbelly of the ship, beckoning some of the more muscular members of the crew to follow. They did, while you and the others were left to cultivate the fire.
This planet was not like Yautja Prime. Where Yautja Prime never had less than six hours of sunlight at any point, this planet’s winter solstice (which coincided perfectly with Yautja Prime’s) meant a miniscule four hours of sunlight, meaning that the slightest light from the star was not yet visible on the horizon despite the time being nearly ten in the morning. Therefore, the bonfire was not only a tradition, but a great help in being able to see at all.
The other crew members returned from the meat freezer and you picked up the scent of thawing alien meat, which you’d become quite familiar with since living with Yautja. All of the crew members were carrying some kind of food. Kwei himself was somehow carrying a container of it bigger than yourself and an animal leg. You squinted a little, then realized: the leg was that of the Has-os the two of you had hunted.
Kwei dropped the container and the leg beside you, giddiness in his eyes. “This is yours.”
Your eyes widened. “All of this?”
“Yes. You killed it. So you shall eat it tonight.”
“I can’t possibly eat all of that,” You replied nervously. “I mean, it’s at least twice my body weight.”
He paused. “I forgot how little oomans eat.”
“You helped kill it too,” you started. “Why don’t we both eat it?”
Kwei froze, eyes darting across your face. You hoped that wasn’t an insult in Yautja culture. What if that meant you thought he was incapable of feeding himself and you’d just called him useless, or–
“I would be delighted to share this meat with you.” His purr rumbled at such a low pitch you were sure it traveled through the ground.
You took a breath of relief, then glanced up to see Dek staring at you with an unreadable expression.
“What?”
He looked away. You shrugged and turned your attention back to Kwei.
He was crouched, sorting through the meats in the container. “I know oomans enjoy meat that is tender. Not tough. So I brought the most tender parts of the Has-os for you.” He held up a strip of it, eyes wide, looking up at you for reassurance. “It is above the ribs, From the back. Not used often by the Has-os. Very tender.”
“Thank you, Kwei,” you said softly.
His mandibles lifted– the right one less so, because it was probably still aching from being dislocated. He speared the meat on a metal contraption, kind of like a metal marshmallow roasting stick specifically for meat, and planted it in the dirt near the fire.
“We shall wait, then feast.” Kwei nodded proudly, before setting up his own meat skewer.
Across the fire, other crewmembers were roasting their own meat. Bud was eating some raw… you didn’t know what animal part it was, but it didn’t look appetizing, and Dek was trying to convince Thia to try some meat, just a little. You knew he knew she was a robot but apparently it hadn’t yet sunk in that she physically could not consume biological material.
The sky above turned gray, then pink, then orange, and you turned to see perhaps one of the most gorgeous sunrises you’d ever seen, one that lit the clouds on fire and reminded you that this was not just a sun, it was a great body of nuclear fusion that allowed the life of every living being on this planet.
Something smooth and warm touched your arm and you glanced over to see Kwei leaning against you nonchalantly. He spotted you looked at him and pulled away like a cat caught doing something naughty– but you leaned against him in turn, and he relaxed and began to purr.
You weren’t sure how long the two of you sat there, ignoring the chatter of the others, before Kwei’s purrs cut off and he turned back to the fire.
You followed suit, only to come face to face with the Has-os meat.
“Feast,” Kwei said intensely, eyes bright.
You took the skewer from him and, without hesitation, took a bite. It was obviously hot– why didn’t you let it cool off?-- but it was also so incredibly delicious. Gamey, salty, filled with flavor, it was the best thing you’d ever consumed, hands down.
Kwei let out one of his deep laughs and took is own bit of Has-os to eat. You watched him hold it up to his face before his inner jaws stripped off little bits of it to swallow whole, occasionally pausing to lick it with his forked tongue, which you noted had papillae like cat’s a tongue. This was so much more interesting than just reading about Yautjas in scientific studies.
So oral sex might be tricky. But we’ll find a way.
SHUT UP!
You finished eating your Has-os a little quicker, before Dek summoned you towards the ship with a bark of “science ooman! Come! Assist me!.” Kwei just shrugged, refusing to let go of his food.
You trotted over to Dek. “What’s up, big guy?”
“Assist.” He pulled you up the ramp of the ship and into the storage room.
You stood awkwardly in the middle of the room while he went shuffling through boxes. Finally, he pulled out a big metal square with one textured side and buttons on top and a few other contraptions that reminded you of… instruments. A drum, a sort of string instrument, and others that you didn’t recognize. You weren’t a music person.
“So, you want me to… carry some of these out?” You asked.
Dek didn’t respond, just walking towards you, then… continuing to walk towards you, even when you were nose to mandibles. He didn’t stop until you’d yielded and backed up until your shoulders were against the wall.
“You will treat my brother well,” he growled. “Or I will flay you and wear your skin as a cloak.”
Your eyes widened and you forgot how to talk for a moment. “Um. Uh. Yes– yes sir, Dek sir.”
“Good.” He threw the metal box into your arms and you yelped. It was really heavy. “Now assist me. These must go outside.”
After you dropped the metal box by the bonfire, you glanced around for Kwei so you could sit next to him. To your surprise, though, he was missing. You sat down beside Thia instead.
“Don’t worry about Kwei,” she replied cheerily, as if reading your mind. Or maybe you were just that obvious. “He’ll be back soon.”
“Hope so,” you replied, missing the warm weight of his shoulder against yours as if he’d been missing a thousand years.
Hmmm. That was not a normal thing to feel about a guy you’d only known a few months.
You were startled by Dek’s shadow falling over you. He placed the contraptions on the ground beside the metal thing.
“We shall play music,” he said, and tossed the string instrument to Meloi, an alien crew member, who was three-armed when the rest of her species typically had four arms.
“Music,” you echoed. “I didn’t know you liked music.”
“Kwei and I both. Our mother taught us to play many instruments when we were pups,” he replied. “Njohrr did not approve.” A growl rippled through him at the name of his father, and your jaw tightened, the image of Kwei’s prosthetic arm springing into your mind. “But Njohrr is dead. So we shall play.”
He pressed a button on the metal box and instantly music blared from it. Oh, it was a speaker. Duh. The music reminded you a little of Mongolian rock, with drums and electric guitar and throaty singing, except in Yautja.
Meloi’s six beetle-black eyes fixed on the speaker and she immediately began to gently pluck at a free strings before somehow joining in to the playing music flawlessly. “I-was-taught-to-play-too!” She chirped. “My-people’s-instruments-were-made-for-four-arms. Hard-to-learn-with-only-three. Yautja-music-and-instruments-are-much-easier!”
Dek set out the animal-hide drums and joined in, too. The others seemed to be inspired. A few made for the remaining instruments and others– including Thia– decided to dance.
You were, again, not a very musical person. Thia didn’t seem to care. She grabbed your hand and pulled you into the wild dancing around the fire, and to your surprise, you let her. Time seemed to disappear as you lost yourself in a feeling of companionship and joy that you never had experienced and likely never would experience while working with Weyland-Yutani. You wouldn’t have experienced these feelings ever, period, without this clan.
You’d had no alcohol at all, but you still found yourself giggling giddily into Thia’s shoulder, detached from reality, as she spun you around with strength only a synth could have. Why didn’t humans ever do this? Why did humans care for nothing but money? You knew then that you could never go back to Earth. It would be like putting a bird in a cage after it had a chance to fly free.
It wasn’t until the sun had touched the other horizon that you slowed and finally went to go sit, exhausted. You didn’t know if the celebrations would stop early in the “night” despite the sun having risen only a few hours ago, but you could certainly keep dancing after a bit of rest and could definitely afford to eat more of that Has-os.
You were thinking of going to get some more of it when the music from the speaker suddenly stopped. You glanced at Dek and saw that he had abandoned the drums and was gathering all the instruments. No more music, apparently. You frowned, disappointed.
Dek waved his hands at everyone with a few clicks, demanding they all sit down around the bonfire, like you were. It seemed you were moving on to the next phase of a Yautja winter solstice holiday.
Or maybe not.
Thia had sat down next to you and had refused to make eye contact with you, trying (and failing) not to smile. That was weird. That was very weird, actually.
You glanced around and saw that Dek wouldn’t meet your eyes either, despite his earlier snarling in your face, and he kept clicking quietly as if nervous. That was super weird.
The sun finally dipped below the horizon, leaving the sky a pale gray, reducing the lighting among the crew to the bonfire alone. The chatter of the others cut off, too, and you began to wonder why, before a familiar Yautja roar cut through the fresh darkness.
You’d know Kwei’s roar anywhere.
He was striding purposefully from the ship, his armor covered in bones and hides, teeth and claws, as well as gold and jewels and precious metals of all sorts. Chains hung from his tendrils, swinging and glittering in the firelight. As he came to a stop across the fire from you, you saw that he’d painted his mandibles and scales with a shiny paint, too.
He looked incredible.
You wondered why he was dressed like that.
Beside you, Thia let out a tiny giggle and leaned over. “Probably should’ve told you. The winter solstice is typically also when Yautjas chose their mates.”
Oh.
He was going to choose you– no. That wasn’t how Yautja culture worked. He wanted you to choose him.
Kwei began to click and, in a familiar gesture, puffed up his chest like a proud bird. He paced back and forth around the fire, showing everyone (you) his trophies (impressive) and his wealth (where’d he get all those gems and gold?) and the strength of his body (you paid particular attention to that).
Finally, he slowed and approached, his eyes fixed on you.
His prior gestures had been Yautja custom, but you realized he was combining his practices with human ones when he crouched down before you and offered you his hands. In the dim light, it took you a minute to see what he held, what he was giving you.
It was another gift.
Another ornately carved bone, this time with the center drilled open–
A ring.
You could not have misinterpreted this if you’d tried. He wanted to be your mate.
“Let me be yours, m-di h'dlak.” No fear. He was calling you no fear. His fearless one.
Your answer was out of your mouth before you could even plan a dignified response. “Yes. Yes, Kwei.”
You’d never seen a Yautja smile so wide, never heard your crew cheer so loudly. Kwei wasted no time putting the bone ring on your finger (the wrong finger, but that wasn’t important) before he yanked you into a big hug, purring and clicking into your ear and swaying you back and forth.
“You guys are so cute,” you heard Thia say. Dek gave a few approving clicks behind her.
After a moment, Kwei let you go and you dropped to the ground (literally– he’d been holding you a few inches in the air). He pulled away, met your eyes again, and then… glanced down. You knew what he wanted, and you wanted it too.
You’d often found yourself wondering in the past, “how would one kiss a Yautja?” The secret to it is that, when the moment comes, it doesn’t matter.
You stood up on your tiptoes, gripped his armor, and pressed your lips to his inner jaws. Kwei let out a little noise of surprise before his painted mandibles closed around your face and he leaned into the kiss, eyes closing.
The rest of the crew started to hoot and wolf-whistle. Kwei instantly pulled away and glared at them, letting out a snarl. Unfortunately Dek knew the threat was empty and continued to tease the two of you, and the others followed suit, until Kwei sighed. You expected him to settle down and rejoin the party, but apparently he had other thoughts in mind. He gave your arm a little tug and when you curiously followed, he started back towards the ship with you in tow.
Dek's real reason for getting at Bud and attacking her was because she was interrupting his preening and attempts to show off his skills to Thia...and kept getting in the way of his dinner lol. He was hungry and sexually frustrated, and pissed.
He wasn’t ready to be a father yet, Bud was ruining his cool persona😭😭
Little did he know that watching him act cute around Bud probably had thia’s mind running SCENARIOS lmao I mean!! Let’s remember that she was truly shocked and appalled that he left poor babygirl behind - that’s the look of a girl who was considering her situationship but Dek HAD to act like a big ol jerk🙄
Silent treatment jail!! It’s what he deserved!!!
Of course, after mama Kalisk passes away, Dek is very gentle and compassionate towards Bud. Always patient and willing to let her do her shenanigans. How DOES a synth get baby fever you ask? Why, just ask Thia! She has a terabyte worth of cute daddy Dek moments she pulls up when she fantasizes about their fictional kids😌
Thia trying to keep Bud well-groomed as she gets bigger and bigger. It’s a mother’s responsibility to Keri her baby clean!
Stopppp what if Bud tries to keep Thia groomed in turn by constantly checking her scalp, no matter how often Thia tries to tell her that synths wouldn’t be able to carry fleas or shit like that😭😭
Kalisk’s eat little bugs! As they grow larger and larger, Thia observes that they have difficulty biting/shaking off the larger parasites that cling to them, this they’re encouraged to socially groom, so Thia takes it upon herself to do that for her baby girl. She’s very knowledgeable of how to keep her coat healthy and mite free
