Hi Hannah, I don't want to just bombard you like this but I feel weird buying condoms. I know I shouldn't because everyone has sex, but I just feel like I'm announcing to the world "hey I'm about to go have sex" do you have any tips on how not to feel weird?
BUFFER ITEMS!
I used to do this with tampons. When I was younger, I couldn’t walk around with just a box of tampons. I had to get a whole cart and fill it with stuff. I’d end up buying all kinds of shit when really all I wanted/needed was tampons. LOL.
So, buffer items. Maybe you get a t-shirt and a loaf of bread. Maybe some toothpaste. Have fun with it. Keep em guessing what you’re going to be getting into.
When I got older, I got to the point where I could talk myself into feeling confident about buying tampons or condoms etc. So reminding yourself you’re being responsible as fuck/A MODEL CITIZEN EVERY PARENT DREAMS OF RAISING/an example to all the young people who are going to see you proudly walking around and buying items for safe sex—all that helps me. You know, BOOST YOURSELF!
And honestly you should feel like a damn superhero. Because if one young person sees you walking around confident af with condoms that could change the way they think/feel about buying items for practicing safe sex.
If you run out of options or none of these work for you….THE BACK UP PLAN:
Pull out your phone. TURN IT ON SILENT! And have a fake conversation with someone about how “your stupid little brother is too embarrassed to buy condoms and is having unprotected sex so while you’re annoyed af at how irritating and stupid your little brother is, you’re the worlds best older sibling for buying his dumb ass condoms.”
Distancing yourself from the items can add a nice layer of confidence.
I HAVE DONE THIS. 😂 It usually starts like “no, you know what I’m doing at (insert time and date)??? Buying Richie some damn condoms—the little shit. He’s been having sex with his girlfriend without condoms. They’re in high school! (Pause like your imaginary friend is talking back) I KNOW! Dude! I said the same thing. (Fake listening pause) well, so I guess she’s on birth control, but that doesn’t mean you don’t use condoms!”
You know. Make it convincing. And funny for the amusement of anyone who might be listening. And eventually one day you’ll buy these items and won’t feel awkward.
OH! Bring a friend who makes you feel cool. We all have that friend who we can pretty much do anything around and feel cool about because they either want to be as cool as us, or they just give us the space to spread our wings and fail and succeed without judgment. Bring that friend to joke around with and feel awkward with you and so you won’t feel so awkward. Safety in numbers. Lol.