Think about making a PB&J. Just a plain old peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Nothing extra, nothing fancy, nothing special. Two pieces of bread and two spreads.
Think about how many steps that is. Just spread the butter, spread the jelly, smush them together, eat?
Nah
Here's the thing:
Let's walk thru the steps to making a PB&J
Get up
Check the kitchen to ensure you have the requisite parts
grab a butter knife 3a. Clean a knife if one isn't available
Retrieve peanut butter
Retrieve jelly/jam
Retrieve bread
Lay out something to assemble the sandwich on
We ain't even gotten started on actually putting the thing together and I'm already 3 bluesky posts deep
Open the bread package
Take out a slice of bread
Take out another slice of bread
Place them on the surface
unscrew the jar of peanut butter
Slather dat knife in some peanuts
et cetera; I feel I've made my point.
This is the reality of living with ADHD. Every single action is broken down into all of its component micro-steps and you are acutely aware of every last one, and each one is as rote and tedious and unsatisfying as the next. You are exhausted thinking about them all before you've even begun
When I say "if it requires more steps than making a PB&J I'm not doing it" that's not me being lazy or flippant or facetious. That's me recognizing all the tiny actions that everything in the world takes and failing to outweigh it with my logical understanding of the result's value
And I say "logical understanding" because so often you can go ahead and forget about emotional value. I don't feel happy to have done things, I only feel relief that it's over. Even for things I ostensibly enjoy! You are trapped in a torment maze and it is called your own brain
Some days it takes me 2 hours to commit to making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. A goddamned peanut butter and jelly sandwich! The meal I make when I have given up on anything else because the idea of them has me fatigued before I can even consider the positive domino effect it could have on my day
It sucks.
(And! When you finally finish the damn sandwich you get distracted on the way to steps n. sit down and n+1. eat the sandwich, by the task: Write a bluesky thread complaining about ADHD and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches!)