#buglegossip

[theberrybugle]

Duh they're using that ectoplams in the sauteed mushrooms on brioche that's served at that dump the Stonefruit Inn. Come visit Slickity Shemp's Squat 'n' Chew instead! Try our new special, boiled razor clam in a green pepper hollandaise served on housemade deep-fried rice spheres! Free salted wasp cake with each order!

We’ve been chomping at the bit to do an exposé on the Stonefruit Inn since those two n’er do wells first opened the doors of that place. But that doesn’t mean we’re going to provide free advertising for Slickity Shemp’s Squat ‘n’ Chew to do it, even if they do have tasty, unique eight-dollar lunch specials every day and even on weekends, and selkies under 5-foot-2 are half-price!

@ianncardero, @freddiewatts

[theberrybugle]

Heard Bella was fleeing the country soon, her jet is already packed for the trip. Because of the blight perhaps? She seemed to celebrate the mold enough to be suspicious...

There’s a lot of finger-pointing going on when it comes to the Blight ... and we LOVE IT! Don’t stop with the wild accusations and specious reasoning, Berryites, keep ‘em coming! Maybe the black mold is Bellamy’s newest decorating scheme gone horribly wrong? Who KNOWS??

@thisbrutalbelle

[theberrybugle]

Hey! That buddy system the copshop's got going? Can they contract out that werewolf Ryden Bolt for it? That guy's a brah on the streets and a maniac in the kill-feats!

The Bugle has no idea what either of these epithets mean and if they’re complimentary or derogatory to the aforementioned Ryden Bolt. Oh, God -- are we getting old??!?

@rydenbolt

[theberrybugle]

How likely is it that this 'buddy system' will become an entourage system for Bellamy?

Who from the SBSD would she want as part of her entourage, though? The choices are slim pickings indeed:

flaccid fairy

drunk wolf 

narcoleptic fairy

ephram

She’d be better off taking a spiral-cut ham with her on her strolls through town. 

@thisbrutalbelle, @thisdaringdanny, @scarlettxruby, @alessafalling, @ephrampettaline

[theberrybugle]

Essie had been sleeping with the sheriff because her boyfriend went flaccid without his familiar.

While we’d believe just about anything when it comes to Sheriff ‘STI Vector’ Pettaline, we’re doubtful that Essie would get caught up in that sort of drama.

Tell us more about this affliction of Familiar Loss Flaccidness, though! Isn’t there a pill for that? Is it not covered by the SBSD health plan? 

@alessafalling, @thisdaringdanny

[theberrybugle]

JSYK there's a blight-world where the monsters are all New York Times critics and Isa de la Vergara's rendition of Katherine's "native boys ate my cousin Sebastian" monologue from Suddenly Last Summer totally made all their heads explode! In unison! I think Isa was pissed but I totally gave her a standing ovation because she kinda saved our lives.

So long as SOMEBODY gave her a standing O, right? Not to get our NYcrit-T on but Isa de la Vega shouldn’t get too accustomed to being heaped with accolades for her ‘acting’. Maybe she has a future in eliminating pesky theatre critics, though.

@isadelavega

[theberrybugle]

Can Kyt Mansfield be my blight-buddy? Hummina hummina

How dare you reduce Kyt Mansfield to a mere bit of totty on the side during the Blight! He is of a quality of totty that demands at LEAST entree status.

@kytmansfield

[theberrybugle]

I heard Faye and Fane Savin opened the blight portals as a post-apocalyptic destination setting for their wedding vows renewal ceremony! I got pics, Faye's dress is GORG and also maybe kinda blood-stained...

Wasn’t their wedding a hot minute ago? Is this a quarterly vow renewal, is that the new trend for hot young couples these days? Maybe they did it for the ‘gram (or, as we’re in Soapberry, for the Snaps). In which case, cough up those blood-smeared Vera Wang pics, Anon.

@faye-savin, @fanesavin