#bujumbujum

[diaryofalooostsoul-blog]

September 21, 2016 12:21AM

Really hate drinking meds now. It makes me too emotional. Huhu Hey love, it's 21 today. Happy monthsary. I love you, nothing has ever changed. My love for you grows deeper each day. I miss you. So so much. Sending you my love, kisses and hugs through prayers. Btw, omg huhuhuhu nagparamdam ka sa dream ko last night. Na kinausap mo na ko pero you were still having second thoughts kasi nahihiya ka pa rin. Pero huhuhu sobrang namiss ko yun. Sobrang kulit and clingy mo kasi sa texts sa dream ko. NAKAKAMISS BABE 😭😭😭 Sana paramdam ka ulit, sana kahit di man tayo sa mundong ito (for now, ayokong magsalita ng patapos), sana kahit sa panaginip man lang, doon masaya at tayo ang nararapat sa isat isa. Baby, kausapin mo naman ako ulit through dreams oh. Update mo naman ako sa life mo. Sa mga new dreams and accomplisments mo. And even sa mga problems or challenges mo. I'd love to hear and catch up with my bestest friend. I'm missing you so much. Kaya sana wag ka na ipagkait sakin ni Lord kahit sa panaginip nalang. Dun lang, masaya nako. Sana everyday, nararamdaman mo pa rin gano kita minamahal. Di na sguro physically, but at least by heart sana andiyan pa rin ako. Tama na, pahaba nanaman ng pahaba ito. Alam kong maiinip ka na basahin at puro kadramahan nalang ang susunod. Itutulog ko nalang to. See you in my dreams/your dreams okay?? Wag mo kalimutang magpray. And may you always remember my promise to you; I'd love you til the very end.

[diaryofalooostsoul-blog]

June 9, 2016 9:40PM

Life is funny, isn’t it?

When you’re single, you feel how ‘alone’ you really are. You envy every couple you see in all places you go to. You can’t help but wish that you also have someone to accompany you and make you feel all these “cliché” love giddy feelings (again). You spend your days daydreaming—wondering— when would someone actually take the time to know every inch and fiber of your being. Someone who would let you feel that even your flaws are loved. For these are what complete you or better yet, make you truly beautiful. Someone who would love to explore you. And only you.

It’s funny. One day you’re daydreaming all that and the next thing you know, someone out there who’s actually in front you, is willing and ready to risk everything for you just cause…. He thinks and knows you’re worth it. (‘I know you’re worth it. And if ever I’ll have you, I wouldn’t go looking for someone better because I already have the best. :)“ -i.v.)

You know the feeling of getting to know someone for the first time all over again? This is supposed to excites you but this time around, for some reason, it doesn’t. And it all boils down to one heavy realization: you’ve been broken and terribly hurt in the past.

Just the thought of getting to the getting-to-know stage terrifies you. You’re scared of the idea—heck, you’re not even sure if you’re ready to let someone explore every inch of you. You’re scared of giving your trust to someone new because you know there’s a possibility that he can destroy you. It’s like giving someone a gun with a bullet pointing right at you and giving him your trust that he wouldn’t pull the trigger. These and the in-betweens just terrify you in no words could possibly explain.

This is when I realized how I’ve been so scared of new beginnings. How you leaving me continues to impact my very own existence.

They say you're just one chapter from my book. And that I should go on and move on to the next one. I say— hey, he sure is 'just' a one chapter but if given the chance to redo any chapter in my book, it would definitely be this one.

And ohhhh how I wouldn't get tired of reviving the moments in it by rereading all over again, you, my favorite chapter.

Chapter 21—"Hi!"