i’m such a mess right now,
i’ve been crying for the last thirty minutes
i told her, i told her i had to move on and that i couldn’t keep hoping she’d just suddenly remember because the waiting was killing me
every time i tall to her it makes me feel worse bevause i keep realizing how much she’s changed and i’m so tired of feeling this way
and i’m shaking so bad because i wish i didn’t have to
i wanted to do so much with her, share an apartment, raise a dog, go walking in the woods
and i can’t stop crying because i’ve lost her and she was the most important thing to me
she was the best friend i ever had and since she’s been gone i’ve felt more alone than ever before
i know she’ll do good, she’s so different but in a better way,
but i don’t know how i’ll be, i hope i’ll be okay one day
i hope i will find someone, anyone, who will make me as happy
otherwise i don’t know what’ll happen to me.
and i still don’t want to move on, i don’t want to say goodbye
i can’t do this on my own, so i’m asking you all if you could be there for me- especially those who i tagged- because i don’t know if i can make it without you guys (i only have you and my family now)
and i’ll probably be a mess for a while, i already have been,
i’m so close to falling apart right now
i can’t bear thinking about how amazing our lives could have been or that i didn’t even have the chance of meeting her
i only wanted that one, first hug when i would pick her up at an airport somewhere to start our lives together
but i didn’t get that, and i won’t.
