May 30, 2024
I’m addicting Lackadaisy and learning Tracy art style 👌
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I’m addicting Lackadaisy and learning Tracy art style 👌
Gonna muse a little bit about new diagnosis stuff
I am grieving a lot. Learning I may actually be a system has been the hardest realization I've ever had to come to terms with as it means I... really am traumatized. I knew I was for a long time, of course. But this really cements how bad everything truly was for me -- and that's very hard to accept.
I'm trying really hard to learn who everyone is. So far I've discovered 4 parts and I have speculations about a few more. Everything is very blurry but it's all making perfect sense.
I have a testing appointment on the 17th so I'll figure out what's truly going on then. I'll have another therapy appointment before that so I'll get to prepare for it probably.
Still, this is life-changing. I've had amazing support through all of this, which has been wonderful, but I'm still scared. It's just something I never expected
ADHD Med Shortage Rant
Every time I go to refill my Concerta prescription, I'm terrified they won't have it in stock and I'll have to deal with withdrawal symptoms.
I wish more people would stop looking at Adderall and other ADHD meds like it's just a joke when so many people rely on them to function in life. I saw someone on Twitter say "You all only think you need it to function because it gets you high. I know because I take it recreationally." It only gets you high if you DON'T have a medical condition that the drug is made for. While you're off getting high for fun, those of us that actually need it are left in the dust.
I didn't get diagnosed with ADHD until 2022, and I only went to get a diagnosis because I had gotten fired from all 7 office jobs I had after graduating college. I always got fired for performance issues and I thought I was just lazy or stupid. Finding out that there was a reason behind it made me feel so much better.
After being on Concerta for a week, I broke down in tears because I realized that this is what my brain is SUPPOSED to feel like. It didn't feel like I had a thousand different thoughts in my head all telling me to focus on them NOW.
But then I realized how hard it is to get my medication. And that's been an added source of anxiety. If I can't get my medication, I can't work because I can't focus. If I can't work, I can't make money. If I can't make money, I can't pay my bills. And if I can't pay my bills, I'll end up homeless.
tmi tuesday ask... how's the bun???
She is good! Currently sitting beside me while I draw. I think she’s trying to decide if she should make a run for it or not. She’s in a particularly adventurous mood today. But moving means she’s away from her personal space heater (me) so it’s unlikely she’s going to go far.
Thanks for the ask!
Gonna be honest... I don't know what I actually wanna do with this blog at this point. Like... what should I even post about...
did anyone here see these yet because HOLY SHIT
Maybe I should just leave this site...
I LITERALLY CANNOT WAIT FOR EPISODE 2 LIKE YIN YU REVEAL? BEEFLEAF CONTENT? PARADISE MANOR? I'M EXPLODING FOR REAL