it is not that i really miss being alone. it is just pleasant to reminisce on the moments i lived while in my solitude. i’m not talking about the loneliness of being in my bedroom, door locked and curtains down. i’m talking about driving down a county road at 60mph, stopping at a philipps ‘66 to buy a vanilla coke. i’m talking about sneaking out the back door at midnight to smoke weed. i’m talking about the independence during adolescent girlhood that you experience only once in a lifetime, before the world goes gray. meeting a friend at a pavilion after sunset. climbing onto the house roof to watch the train in the distance. buying cigarettes off of my older friends. desperately searching for a local party, only to be disappointed by the experience and end up with spontaneously stolen beer in my backseat. it is those moments of being by myself that lay a melancholic peace over me.
❤︎ ໋𓈒🐇
