@bureaublossomed / cont.
what's going through his mind is hard to put a definite label on. if it had been concern or worry --- or fear, even if he’s never going to use that word for it --- before, the cautious denial you need to dread had been completely snuffed out within him. it’s too much like deja vu and yet not enough: when barnes went after the irt, he thought they had a fighting chance... now, all he could do was watch and prepare for when the floor would finally give out under him.
the hug he gives to lilli is meant to be a ‘ see you tomorrow ’, and not this emotionally loaded, but the shock still shivering in all of the team makes it so without anyone’s will ( and the fact that matt only seldomly says his goodbyes with a hug doesn’t help the case ). to the strength of the hug, he responds by adjusting his arms so he’s closer --- it doesn’t help the cold feeling wthin him, but it reminds him that there’s still people around him... that he’s not alone. not yet.
“ yeah. ” he’s not sure what it means --- he’s not sure he believes in what he thinks it means. her words echo mae and jack, and he tries not to notice it, keep the finality of his mindset to himself as much as he can, even as he’s fully aware his expressions won’t keep it secret from another profiler. especially not when the fraudulence of his single word is enough to make him stop responding to the embrace out of guilt, await for lillianna to let go of him to pull away.
