How do you eat a hamburger?
Okay, so this has been bothering me for quite a while, at least a decade, but how the fuck do you eat a hamburger? Now I'm not talking about those fast food burgers, like McDonald's or Burger King. These things seem to be somehow glued together.
No, I'm talking about those fancy gourmet burgers, the ones held together with a toothpick or some other fancy skewer. I can never eat one without spilling 50% of its contents on my plate while getting sauce everywhere. Heck, even when I assemble my own burger, unless it's just a patty within two buns, no sauce or anything, I can't seem to eat a burger normally.
I desperately need to know how to eat a burger. I don't want to look like a toddler who gets solid food for the first time.