#but man....

[sappho-rose]

"you're not supposed to love me"

[youguysmakeabsolutelynosense]

thinking about how silver spoon by erin lecount is galex both ways. about how alex has the love from his family that george wanted so much that he became part of alexs family. about how george has the love and support from one team, his junior team that alex never got to the point of being dropped and having to leave the sport.

[gumsbiter]

here i come with my thoughts

ive talked to a few of my stebbins writer friends ab how i think part of the reason why they hit so hard is that gary is such a good foil for him. theyre both ousted by the other walkers instantly (or ousted themselves. billy.) and they both give Big "wasnt loved enough as a child" energy. but for as Weird as gary is he at least seems more comfortable and maybe confident?? in himself?? at least enough that he just be sayin and doin whatever regardless of how theyre gonna take it. and billy def seems like he comes from a family thats really into discipline, and he very clearly needs to lighten the fuck up a little bit. and i think someone who's so tightly wound can really really benefit from spending time with someone as unfiltered and unhinged as gary. and as for my personal gary lore he is also a bastard son to a married with kids man that he's never met, but he also doesnt really care. big "my life sucks as it is why would i invite another piece of shit into it" vibes. and billy needs that LOL

NODDING AND SHAKING YOUR HAND. First and foremost i assume you have but have you read AIJAD? I think the author has my absolute favorite interpretation of their dynamic.

They are FANTASTIC foils! To me, Gary hit the ground running on day one and never stopped. Live wire and perma survival mode in the most instinctive way. Words fail him where fists and blades do not. Doesn't shut up when he should, desperate above all else to have bonds and belong that he'd rather die with the inch given to him than live and risk losing that. The personification of wartime PTSD.

Billy had a place for his feet and hands and eyes since day one. He is othered and partly to cope, partly by inclination, he others himself above. His body, his childhood, his complete familiarity with self-imposed are a sacrifice for the greater good. He is not so different from Art, both hypocrites who dream of something greater while coveting their mortality/servitude to something greater. Words, as are all things available to Billy, are reserved as tools. The personification of Vietnam war teen volunteer hopefuls.

Gary who has not known much touches to be harmless and Billy who denied himself human intimacy. And both wanted the same thing so so so so desperately yet both died after tasting a sliver of it for the first time. Gary who believes there must be something wrong with him, a missing cog. Billy who thinks anything but metal and gears is a failure. So much logic and intellectualization that Billy failed to let himself experience basic emotions despite understanding the mechanisms of action. So much instinct, jagged edges, and a feather-light trigger that served him well when he did not not have to be a person, he just had to survive, yet he fails to live. The tools he Had to familiarize himself with to survive become the exact reason he can never get what he wants :')

[cinnamon-flame]

I will be mostly busy this year, which is tragic but here's the link anyways

[astressedlittlejaybird]

Mercutio's fucking death scene gets me every time. My poor puppy son... Mercutio i'm so fucking sorry

[eastofshane]

can I tell you a secret without being killed for it? okay, I uhm... I'd like a kiss

[avs-miku]

if we get swept, maybe bednar goes, maybe he doesn't, but our special teams situation is an absolute NIGHTMARE